Chapter 7

After my talk with Alfred I felt a bit more relaxed about staying at Crimsyn State. Now that I know my mother used to live here, it felt as if she was with me.

I was waking up early and maybe I wasn’t as depressed as I was a few days ago. The cuts on my hands weren’t fully healed but Phoenix took no mercy on me during our training session.

She was rough and determined. Every once in a while she’d yell out orders or spit out curses but put up with here in the hope that if I’m nice to her she’ll loosen up a bit.

By the end of the day I’d be soaked with sweat, I’d have injuries and bruises and I would be bleeding in places I didn’t even know existed.

I did get to take a long shower at the end of all the torture. I hope I didn’t finish all the hot water because I think I showered way longer than I should have and this place rarely ever gets warm water.

I had asked Raelynn for some more clothes and she told me to look in the lost and found, which was a room right next to the weapons room. It had armour and boots and helmets and most of them were from people who had died wearing those clothes.

I wasn’t comfortable in the loose and baggy trousers and sweaters I was being forced to wear, let alone hand-me-downs from dead soldiers.

Raelynn confirmed that all the stuff was clean and washed but I couldn’t help but cringe. I picked out a pair of black leggings, an emerald green shirt, a black jacket and a pair of fresh socks.

I scrubbed away the sweat and blood, my hair was finally clean, so was the rest of my body. I was brand new and polished after my hour in the bathroom.

I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and it was no longer before the dreams came.

Images of the Stars and the Hydras and my trips to the palace. I got fragments of my memories. One from graduation, from prom and then some from when I was Stargazing back at home.

Home. The thought of being back in my bedroom in Stellaregno made my heart ache. And I don’t think you can even have heart aches in dreams.

Then the part where I was locked up in palace with Nathan. It felt as if my life was being played in front of me like a movie.

The images washed away and after that my sleep was dreamless.

Every time I take a shower before going to sleep, I never want to wake up the next morning.

Phoenix pulled the covers off of me and demanded that I go and get breakfast because she didn’t want to be late for my archery lesson. I groaned into the pillow, it was damp from my wet hair. The sheets were surprisingly warm and cozy.

“Annabelle, get up!” Phoenix demanded.

“But this bed is calling my name,” I joked.

“Oh, for Stars’ sake!” she snatched the pillow from underneath my head and smacked it in my face. That opened my eyes.

“Did you have to do that?” I rubbed my nose. “I think you broke my nose,”

“Puh-lease!” she said. “You’re lucky I didn’t splash water on you.”

“But my nose!” I complained.

“Why don’t I break every bone in your body?” she threatened, holding up both her fists.

I chuckled and she slapped my shoulder playfully. This was what I needed right now, a friendly moment.

“Now, get up!” she threw the pillow back in my face and that sent me back into sleeping position.

“At least help me up!” I yelled, she slammed the door shu leaving me alone in a dark and dusty room.

I regretted having breakfast the minute I started running. This was my tenth lap in a row. Phoenix wasn’t in a playful mood after some guy threw beans all over her. She took thirty minutes to wash the chunks out of her hair, and she didn’t like wasting time so she told me to warm up while I waited.

The only problem: I had no idea how to warm up. I just paced outside, Stargazing. When she came out of the room with wet silky hair she was even more furious that I’d been standing there the entire time.

She yelled at some of the guys at the archery range to clear the way, she picked up a bow and arrows, she shot all three of them so fast I thought I was dreaming. All the guys stared at her with their mouths open. But it did put her in a good mood.

“Teach me to do that,” I said, still amazed by her.

“First let’s teach you how to actually hold a bow properly.” she grinned.

“You have to hold it tightly from the handle,” she informed.

“Okay,” I nodded. Please tell me that’s all.

“This is how you shot an arrow,” she aimed at the target and she shot perfectly, just like the last three times.

“You’re really good at this,” I noted.

“I know.” she had a smug look on her face. “If you practice and concentrate you can get it right.”

“Okay,” she handed the bow to me and an arrow.

“Now you try,” she told and took a few steps back. I don’t blame her though, if I were her I’d be afraid of getting shot in the head by someone who hadn’t even seen a bow and arrow before.

I missed the target on my first try. And on my second. I got a centimeter close on my third try and I was going to give up until a few girls in all black clothes and glittery earrings walked past us and laughed at my failure. I wanted to defend myself but I choose to ignore them and also because this scary and impulsive girl named Phoenix yelled at them for me.

“Like you could do any better!” she screamed as they jogged away.

“Just leave them,” I told.

“Why?” she knitted her eyebrows. “Don’t you have any self respect? Defend yourself at the first sign of humiliation.”

“Don’t you ever feel guilty about being so rough and tough with everyone?” I asked, worried she might actually break every bone in my body for asking her that.

“I don’t have time to feel guilty,” she said, crossing her arms and staring off into the distance. “And neither do you,” she finished.

“Try again,” she demanded and so I did.

I didn’t hit the target until my seventh or eighth time but Phoenix still wasn’t satisfied. She growled and clenched her fists each time. She gave me pointers through gritted teeth. I tried not to let her attitude bother me but eventually we all lose it.

I dropped the bow and arrow and turned to face Phoenix.

“I can’t do this,”

“Don’t give up.” she said with zero emotion.

“You could be a little more nice and easy going about this,”

“Excuse me?” she raised her eyebrows. “I’m sorry, what did you expect from me?”

“I don’t know!” I yelled. “You could try to understand my position and give me a little space!”

She snorted. “Fine, good luck doing this on your own.” she said that and left.

I groaned in frustration. I wanted to pull my hair out.

Why am I so weak? I thought.

“That didn’t go well,” Nathan commented as he and Raelynn approached.

“Did she try to kill you?” Raelynn teased.

“No,” I shot back.

“What’s her problem anyway?” I wondered out loud.

They both exchanged looks.

“What?” I demanded.

“Well...” Nathan hesitated. “It’s a long and emotional story.”

Raelynn nudged him in the chest. “Nevermind that.” she started. “How’s archery so far?”

“Well, if you hadn’t already guessed, it’s a disaster!” I motioned towards the bow and arrows lying at my feet.

“This is exactly why I was against these two training together,” Raelynn whispered loudly to Nathan.

“I can see where you were coming from.” Nathan agreed.

“What are you guys talking about?” I asked.

“You and Phoenix are stubborn, judgmental and harsh. If we put you in the same room you both would spontaneously combust!” Nathan explained.

“Huh?” I knitted my eyebrows.

“What he means to say is, you both can’t be friends without punching each other first so we thought it was best if you keep you distance. Hence, all the warnings we gave you about her.” Raelynn confessed.

“But you needed to be groomed into a soldier and the best person to do that was Phoenix.” Nathan added.

“So your saying we were both too much alike to be friends because we’re both terrible people in the same way, therefore neither of us would have compromised?”

They looked at each other and then chorused, “Yeah.”

“That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!” I raged. “I am nothing like her.”

“Yes, that is exactly why you’re talking so loudly just they way Phoenix does.” Raelynn teased.

“Oh, shut up!” I bellowed. That’s when I realized I was being harsh and tried to cover my embarrassment.

Virgo and Phoenix. I don’t know much about Phoenix. Then again, why would she be using her Constellation name as her first name? I decided not to ask.

Phoenix never revealed her Signs to me. She always wore bracelets on her left hand to cover them up. Weird.

“I think we’ve all had enough for today,” Nathan yawned as he massaged his forehead.

“What have you two been up to today?”

“Alfred called us for a meeting and he wanted to talk to Phoenix too but she was busy with you,” Raelynn looked just as tired as Nathan. “And now I have to go find her, calm her down and take her to Alfred.”

She walked away and mumbled, “Thanks a lot, Annabelle.”

“What did Alfred say to you?” I turned to Nathan.

“You’ll find out.” he answered.

I snorted, “I wish you’d stop using that line with me.”

“Whatever,” he replied.

“I’m going to clean up,” I said and went to the girls’ room.

I was surprised at how much I had been sweating despite the cold weather, but I guess that happens when you’re under pressure.

Even after the shower my hair was rough and lifeless. The shampoo they had was cheap and it made my hair suffer.

I had washed my old clothes last time and I put those on. I looked awful. Lyra would I have fainted if she saw me right now and Amara would have tried to make me feel better about my appearance.

Raelynn told me it was time for dinner, that’s when I was aware of how hungry I was. Even the nasty and inedible food at Crimsyn State seemed appealing for the first time.

Raelynn ditched me and Nathan was no where to be found so I sat alone and stared at the bland meal in front of me.

Turns out I wasn’t the only one who was alone. Alfred was looking around for a seat, I waved at him and he came and sat next to me.

“Hi,” I greeted.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Had trouble finding a seat?”

“Actually, I was looking for you.” he said.

“Me? Why?” I asked.

“I think we should get to know each other,” he said seriously.

I hesitated. “After all you are my only grandchild.” he grinned. I tried to smile too but I just felt awkward.

“Tell me something about yourself,” he bit into his chicken.

“Well...” I thought for a minute. “What do you want to know?”

“Alright,” he sighed. “I’ll go first.”

He was deep in thought for a while until I spoke up, “Not so easy, huh?”

“No,” he agreed.

“Well, when I was a kid I wanted to become an astronomer.” I blurted.

“That’s nice,” he said.

“Now, your turn.” I said.

“I can teach you archery if you want.” he offered. “It didn’t go well with Phoenix,”

“Yeah,” I lowered my head.

“But I don’t want to talk about anything related to fighting.” I told. “Tell me something about our family.”

“Did you know I helped name you?”

“No,” I smiled at that.

“Your dad wanted to name you Preston.” he recalled.

“Preston?” I repeated.

“He and you grandmother thought it was going to be a boy,” he said.

“Ummm....sorry to disappoint.” I joked.

He chuckled. “In the end your mom and dad agreed on Annabelle,” he continued. “And when you were a toddler you couldn’t say your name so you said Belle or Bee.”

I blushed out of embarrassment. “I knew that.”

“Your dad and I used to call you Bee sometimes,” he told.

I knitted my eyebrows. “Really?” I puzzled.

“When we were in a good mood.” he shrugged as he took a drink of water. I recalled that one night Dad called me that, but he was angry at that time. I tried not to think about it.

Instead I bit into my piece of chicken, surprised at how overcooked it was.

“Must have been hard adjusting to all this,” Alfred noted.

“Yeah,” I lowered my head. I wish he hadn’t brought this up. I really don’t want to have a breakdown here.

“Well, you’ll have a new family in no time,” he sounded upbeat and excited. I felt bad for being uninterested.

“I hope so,” I mumbled. It wasn’t exactly a lie, I did expect to find some sort of comfort and commiseration here.

After all, I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s lost her family and friends. So I guess there are a lot of people here who can relate to me.

I can mange here, or at least I will once I see a dear friend of mine. And after I’m done confronting him I’ll apologize and tell him to make me feel better. What else are friends for?

I tried not to laugh at my humorous thoughts and covered it up by pretending to choke on my food. I quickly took a sip of water and regretted doing it because now I was actually coughing.

I was drawing attention to myself which I hated doing, I didn’t need any reason for people to stare at me, more so than they usually do. I sat there suffocating.

“When did you first join the rebellion?” I quizzed Alfred. “Most importantly, why did you join their cause?”

He smiled, happy that I was finally talking to him. And I wasn’t doing this just to make conversation, I really did want to know.

“It’s a long and complicated story,” he sighed.

“I have time,” I pushed my plate aside and folded my arms on the table.

“Are you sure?” he doubted.

“I don’t really have anything else to do,”

“Long ago I used to be the head of Virgus, I had close relations with the Hydras. I was a good friend of the kings’ ever since he was a prince and our families knew each other as well.”

“After he was crowned and he was married, I realized his true intentions after some hard times he had during his first few years of being king.” he cleared his throat. “I’m sure you know your history.”

I don’t know what he meant by that, I just assumed he meant all the trouble with the uprising but I didn’t know how long it had been going on.

“Anyways, I helped him through his hardships, I made trips to Hydrus to visit him and manage the palace sometimes, all while also keeping an entire province together.”

“You were the Lord of Virgus at that time?” I asked.

“I took over at a young age,” he replied. “After a few years, after things got better, I stopped coming to the palace and concentrated on Virgus. I met Magda and all was well until I became aware of the kings’ true intentions and how he had planned to take over the Constellations.”

“I still didn’t leave Virgus at the time. I heard of uprisings and revolutions but I was in disbelief and confusion at that time. Then Antonio met Eloise and I found out she was an Ophiuchus, her parents were part of the rebellion, I found out about Crimsyn State through them.”

“Why is Ophiuchus so important in the rebellion?” I wondered out loud.

“Because after Hydra that’s the largest and most powerful Constellation. Therefore, it’s crucial for and Ophiuchus to lead and honestly, I don’t know how we could fight the Hydras without one.”

My cheeks were as red as my hair but I covered it up. “Go on,”

“Well, your other grandparents explained the whole cause to me and I understood.” he continued. “I told your grandmother, she was furious with me and demanded that I leave the whole thing alone. That’s the reason she’s against your mother, she’s despised Eloise ever since that day.”

“Oh,” I realized. No wonder she hates talking about mom. She blames mom for Alfred abandoning them. I clenched my fists.

“Still didn’t leave though, I thought I could knock some sense into her but she was stubborn and she cared too much about the family’s reputation and respect in the society. She didn’t want to understand such things, Antonio was too young to be burdened by this,”

He stretched his arms and looked around. Half the cafeteria was empty but he didn’t stop. “Mostly, I didn’t want to ruin his chances with Eloise. He was lucky to have her but when he found out the truth about her he was devastated and angry with her. Your grandmother gave her a hard time but Eloise was too hopeful, she thought she could change everyone. She was too persistent too.”

I could see the pain in his eyes. This is getting too emotional for him. I wish I could comfort him but I was useless. “I wasn’t of much help either. I was too busy with Virgus and trying to coax Jaxon into confirmation of his plans and ideas about the Stars.”

“It’s okay,” I said in a soft voice. You had the weight of an entire province on you and the pressure of thousands of people.”

“I don’t know why people depend on people,” Alfred changed the subject. “We have the Stars to depend on.”

“You may proceed,” I pleaded. I was pretty much begging for information.

“That’s when I thought it would be better to leave. Don’t worry, I didn’t plan to escape without an explanation. At first I asked Eloise if she wanted to go before I did. She needed time to think so she went to her parents’ house in Hydrus. She stayed there and after a while I got a letter from her saying she was already in Crimsyn State with her family.”

“Surely, you know the rest.” he said in a tired voice.

“Let me guess,” I joked. “She came back, had me, lived a good two years and then she was murdered. You decided to leave and came back to Hydrus after sixteen years...just to get me.”

Alfred nodded. “But we can’t lose hope, we have to have faith in ourselves and pray to the Stars we’ll be successful.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. I cleared my throat, “Thank you,”

“For what?”

“For sharing your story with me.” I grinned and he did the same.

The cafeteria was empty no, except for Alfred and me of course.

“I hope I get to tell you a story one day,” I joked.

“I’d be glad to here one.” Alfred propped up his arm on the table and rested his face on it.

He looked as if he was waiting for something, that’s when I realized. “Oh, you thought I was gonna start talking now?”

“Well, how do you kids say it these days?” he puzzled. “Duh.”

I laughed and my voice echoed through the room. “I don’t really have an interesting story but I’ll think of something.”

“Interesting or not, I want to hear everything I missed in the last sixteen years.” I could tell by his voice that he was excited, I was nervous and felt extremely vulnerable but after what Alfred had told me I decided I trusted him and was comfortable talking with him.

I didn’t know where to start. Nonetheless, I was excited to finally have a family member I could talk to. I sucked in a deep breath and started at the beginning.