YUNJUN AND GENERAL Feng married not long after their engagement, and after another month, they were off back to the borders. The next two years passed in a blurâtensions continued to rise, but nothing remarkable happened. We remained careful, hiding our true power in the shadows, watching over events with a careful eye.
But by the end of the second year, the Third Prince no longer felt the need to hide his ambition. He'd returned from his excursion from the droughts successful, albeit with a personal tragedy:
Qin Yue, his consort, had died of a wasting sickness a month after he'd left Luoyang.
When we'd heard the news, Chiqian had shaken his head solemnly. "We all saw this coming, I think. But it is still sad to think he went through with it."
"A twisted man," Prince Duan had said with a harrumph. "I do not know how my brother gave birth to one like him."
"It does not surprise me," Princess Consort Duan had sighed, reaching out to hold my hand as if offering comfort. "He needs a wife from a higher station and a better family."
"Will he turn his Side Consort into his main wife?" I asked, tilting my head.
"Somehow," Chiqian muttered, "I doubt it. He's a greedy man. He'll want even higher."
And his suspicions became true, because not long after the Third Prince's return, he decided to marry the daughter of a high-ranking earl, a young woman by the name of Chen Banyun. There was some outrage at how soon he'd remarriedâQin Yue had been dead for less than three years, which was the usual custom before a man could consider remarrying, but it all quickly died down soon after.
And so Miss Chen became the new Third Prince Consort.
Yunhua had been highly unamused. "He's getting greedier."
"He's always been greedy. We ought to stop being surprised by it."
"He's striking so quickly. He must have been planning this for years."
"This sort of thing," I pointed out with one raised brow, "does usually require much planning."
"I'm telling the Crown Prince to start to gain more favour in front of his father. And to try and become closer with more chancellors."
"Be careful with it, though. We don't want the Emperor to get too suspicious."
"Will he? He has the Third Prince to watch over us now. It's best if neither of our sides win until his days are near an end, when he'll pick whoever he thinks is more capable and name him as his heir."
"That is best for him, yes." I scrunched up my nose. It felt weird, having to guess at what the Emperor was thinking. I felt so far above my station, like I wasn't even supposed to be here, doing any of this.
The splendour of Luoyang had lost its original charm on me in the past few years. I would still be marvelled every once in a while, but it no longer dazzled me like it did when I'd first come. It was expected, of course, and I'd always known it would eventually happen. But I'd thought it would last at least a few more years.
Though I supposed I'd already long accomplished my goal for coming here. I'd secured and married a husband of high rank who respected and I daresay, loved me. And who I was deeply fond of too. We'd been married for two years, and soon it would be three.
And then, suddenly, Yunhua announced, "The Emperor is setting my husband on the influx of refugees coming in from the north. Handling their living, eating, and the like."
"He must have to do well, then," I pointed out, "or the situation will be even more precarious."
"I know," Yunhua said grimly, "which is why I'm watching over all of it too now. He doesn't particularly like it, but he does value my input. And I think he knows this is one of his last chances to fully destroy the Third Prince's prospects before he becomes too powerful to easily quash."
"Perhaps your father could help."
To which Yunhua shook her head. "Too risky. We're trying to sever any connection between the Crown Prince and my father for the meantime, at least make it seem like he's not directly helping his case. It has to be me. I don't want to drag you and the shizi into this just yet either."
"You would not be dragging us into anything. If the Third Prince prevails, do you really think he'll let us live?" Perhaps he would have, before. But I'd been one of the people there who'd discovered his crimes on Miss Heng, and I'd certainly angered him that day and in the years that followed.
Two years since Miss Heng had died, and yet we still had not been able to claim justice for her.
But what else could we do? Our own situations were dangerous as they were. We had no time nor energy to go defend someone else when we could barely protect ourselves.
Much has changed in the last few years, and at the same time nothing at all. I was now nineteen. Almost five full years ever since I'd first stepped foot in Luoyang. Yet I still felt as powerless as ever in this strange city. My parents hadn't bothered me at all, and except for some holidays when I paid a quick and short visit, I didn't go to them either. My maiden home was with the Shangguans. With Yunhua and Yunjun and Yunxuan.
Huo Murong had taken a wife last year. It had been a purely political marriage, and neither him nor his bride seemed to be particularly interested in each other. I'd seen them at some events together. It had not been a merry sight. I wasn't sure if he'd moved past Yunhua yet. I hope he had, but at least he hadn't bothered her or any of us about it for a long time.
Princess Shaoheng had married too, of course. The son of a duke. The one with the dry humour who irritated her. He didn't seem to irritate her much now. She was always so painfully blissful and I was happy f0r her.
I didn't spend much time with her. She had always been more Yunhua's friend than mine, and I more or less intended to keep it that way.
It was strange. To know that everything seemed peaceful, yet was so close to erupting all in our face at the same time. That this was all just an illusion, that there was so much turmoil hiding right beneath the surface, hidden from the view of most people.
So now Yunhua had to help the Crown Prince maintain his position. I had to keep a low cover. Yunjun was out of my worry now, married far away at the borders, but Yunxuan was still unmarried and unengaged at sixteen, without an attachment for a single young man. She did not have all that much time left.
I rarely saw Tianjin these daysâI rarely saw Tianjin in the first place, even back then. Last I'd heard, he'd been sent out of the city to learn under a master for a year or two before coming back. Uncle worried about that day and night, while Grandmother could barely get up from bed these days. Her health was ailing so quickly, far more quickly than any of us could have ever thought.
We all took turns taking care of her, visiting her to make sure she didn't get lonely. But we all knew, deep in our hearts, that her time was running out.
But that was, at the same time, one of the last things we felt the need to worry about.
A month after the initial announcement, the Crown Prince was publicly reprimanded in front of court for butchering up some of the relief handling for the refugees. A large shipment of the grains intended for the refugees had completely vanished, and people were pointing fingers. And at the end of it, it all pointed to the Crown Prince and his lack of care.
A crushing victory for the Third Prince, who'd been put on a massive relief mission too but came back victorious.
That period of time was the busiest I'd ever found Yunhua. Suddenly she was not only managing the Crown Prince's home affairs, but also running around the city running the relief on his behalf. She started setting up porridge stalls to hand out free food to the people, hosting all sorts of charity events and organising the relief.
But to the rest of the world, of course, it was all accredited to the Crown Prince. The porridge stalls were his ideasâYunhua was just the person executing them. And all the events were planned by him too, but merely completed by Yunhua.
Of course we knew that wasn't true. We'd watched Yunhua plan it all up by herself, trying to suppress her husband's worst ideas and taking it all into her own hands. But no one else did, and no one else would believe it was all Yunhua's work rather than the Crown Prince's anyways.
And she needed people to believe it was his work.
I wasn't sure how the Crown Prince felt amidst all this. Grateful? Or was he perhaps embarrassed by how thoroughly his wife outshone him, despite the fact that only those in his inner circle knew the truth? No matter what, I couldn't tell, because he was never in the Eastern Palace when I visited, always off frolicking around, busy with his other works.
He'd taken another concubine sometime ago, the daughter of a chancellor. Yunhua said the girl was quiet and rarely ever left her own court, so she wasn't trouble. And despite everything, Luo Xueying hadn't proved too much of an issue to handle either. With how Yunhua had been doing her best to distance the Crown Prince from the Shangguans, it fitted with Luo Xueying's agenda as well. She had no need to meddle.
But there was also impatience stewing in both the Imperial and the Eastern Palace. Two years of marriage and the Crown Prince remained childless. Neither Yunhua nor Luo Xueying had shown the slightest hint of pregnancy, as did the new concubine.
We knew why Luo Xueying had no child, of course. But Yunhua?
The medicine went in waves. Medicine for fertility, for a stronger body, even though Yunhua had always been of sturdy composition and I'd never known her to be ill. She drank it day after day, day after day.
And finally: after almost six months of that, good news. Yunhua was with child.
I was the one visiting Grandmother that day when the news came down. Yunhua had sent a servant, being cryptic about it, not wanting to alert anyone unless she was in excellent and stable health.
Grandmother was overjoyed, releasing a sigh of relief. "Now she has something to rely on in the Eastern Palace."
"All eyes will be on her now," I warned. "She'll need to be so careful."
"We'll send some more servants over," Grandmother mused. "And trusted midwives. There can be no carelessness."
"I will visit her later," I told Grandmother, since she was in no state to leave the house. "I will make sure she's alright."
"You have never had a child," Grandmother huffed. And that was true. And it was something that I thought would be a problem by now, but so far, my in-laws hadn't seemed to care much. Perhaps it was because they thought I was young? But Yunhua was only a year older than I.
"I may not have, but I am her cousin and I am a woman. I can offer her some comfort, if not advice."
Grandmother glanced at me from her bed and grinned. "You have grown very quickly in the past few years, haven't you?"
"Under your guidance, Grandmother, I think I have flourished."
She let out a hearty laugh, quickly followed by a series of coughs. I quickly scooted over with a cup of water in hand, which she drank. Finally she said, "Yes. Flourish you have."
That was acknowledgement if I'd ever heard it. I offered a small smile, moving the cup back to the table and picking up a fan to cool Grandmother from the heat. "Don't exert yourself, Grandmother."
"I know, I know. I am an old sac of bones now." She shook her head. "At least you're all grown up and able to take care of yourselves. And now Yunhua is with child, and I will have a great-grandchild!"
"It's simply fantastic news," I said with a smile. "Yunhua must be beside herself."
"Oh, she must be careful." Grandmother shook her head. "This child must be born safely. Or there are too many eyes on her position. With an heir, her position is secured. We cannot let it drag on any further, even if neither Luo Xueying nor Consort Liang have children."
I hadn't heard anything exact that had been done to Consort Liang, but I assumed her things had been sabotaged as well to make sure she had no child, at least until after Yunhua safely gave birth. Two years ago the idea of that terrified me. I thought it was cruel. Now, I barely blinked an eye.
What did that mean for me?
Did that mean I was fully one of them now? One of the people who played this game?
"When is it that Yunjun returns again?" Grandmother asked, her eyes squinting. "Four months?"
"That's correct," I replied. "Four months before she and General Feng return." And that would be the first time since their marriage they'd return. Much must have changed. There'd been no news of pregnancy on Yunjun's part, though it had seemed unlikely in the first place. They were there to fight a war, after all. It was hardly a blissful marital life.
Grandmother shook her head tiredly. "And he'd taken that damned courtesan with him when he'd left."
Kun Ying'er had been taken in by the General as concubine two months after their marriage, shortly before they left for the borders. She'd travelled with them. And Yunjun never mentioned her in her letters, but we were all still worried. We all knew the General was far fonder of Kun Ying'er than he was of Yunjun, so had she been mistreated? What was this concubine like? Did she act in line?
Grandmother had the most pessimistic outlook. Yunxuan had believed that Yunjun would probably be able to manage her own, but Grandmother had disagreed. With some disdain, she'd told us that it depended wholly on General Feng's attitude. If they were in Luoyang, perhaps, General Feng would have had to at least put up an image. But at the borderlands?
No one knew what Yunjun might be going through. A loveless marriage might be her best bet. Public humiliation was the worst. And she was still only so young.
(Only a year younger than me, I reminded myself sometimes. But somehow, that one year seemed to be such a big gap. Certainly Yunhua felt decades older than me, and our age gap was also merely a single year.)
"Do not fret over it," I suggested. "Things will always work out in the end. We must believe that."
"Do you really?"
"It'll all work out fine, don't you worry, Grandmother."
"Perhaps." She pursed her lips. "I am too old to worry about so many things. I should focus on praying and staying calm, leaving all the other things to you kids. Perhaps I will take a nap now... I feel rather fatigued."
"Oh, allow me to help you." I aided Grandmother in lying down, calling for her servants to come in and make sure she was ready for rest before standing and curtsying. "I shall take my leave."
"Go," Grandmother said with a kind smile. "Take on the world, little Minxi. There is so much to do and so little time."
She'd grown more sentimental in the past few months too. Less of the calculating, ruthless lady I'd known when I'd first met her, and now someone more prone to caring about the wellbeing of others before anything else.
Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Because I felt like I'd gone through the exact opposite. Perhaps it had something to do with age. Grandmother no longer needed to make those hard decisionsâthose fell onto our shoulders now.
Either way, I left Grandmother's and headed back home. Chiqian and I had decided to stay in the Prince Duan Manor, since it wasn't particularly inconvenient either. And I didn't mind being around his parents.
Besides that, his adopted brother, Chang Xun and his wife, along with their now two-year-old son, Chang Yu, often came to visit. I was very fond of little Chang Yu, who was adorable and precocious for his age.
But Chang Xun had returned to the borderlands a month ago, and his wife, Jiang Ning, was always a bit more melancholic when her husband was away. She wasn't of the most sturdy composition, rather prone to getting sick, and I didn't particularly like being around her by myself. I didn't dislike her, but she was the type of person who exuded negativity. She was only really happy when Chang Xun was back from the borderlands, but that was quite rare.
Being around her could be exhausting. And I didn't think she enjoyed my presence all that much eitherâperhaps it was because Chiqian was by my side while her husband was not? Perhaps it brought up bad memories. We were always polite to each other and doted over Chang Yu, but we were hardly even friends.
I had a feeling it was most likely going to stay that way.
Chiqian was in his study when I dropped by to check on him later that night. He glanced up at me as I walked in. "The Emperor praised the Crown Prince for his renewed efforts with the refugees today."
"Yunhua's work."
"The Crown Prince's to the rest of the world," Chiqian pointed out flatly, "and it's best for it to remain that way."
"Is his position more secure, then?'
"That remains to be seen," Chiqian sighed. "The court is practically torn in half now. I think the Emperor is quite pleased with it. Keeps both sides on their toes, no one poses a threat to his position."
"It's the best spot he wants to be in."
I moved over to the window to ensure that it was close, and that no one was listening outside. You always wanted to be careful, especially if you were discussing issues of the heir. It was always a touchy topic. One that could get your head chopped off if you weren't careful enough about it. He watched me do it with some amusement on his face.
"Minxi, darling, if there's eyes and ears on us, a closed window will do nothing to prevent it."
Archly, I replied, "It makes me feel safer."
He hid a smile. "You do you, of course. Have a seat. Some tea?"
"I'm alright." Instead of sitting, I moved behind the desk with him. "I'll help you grind some ink." He was writing somethingâletters, I realised once I took a closer look. He didn't hide them from me. He rarely did. I was very glad about that, because it meant he trusted me. Wholeheartedly. That was something no one else did, not even Yunhua or Yunjun or Yunxuan.
We sat there for a while. Him, writing. Me, grinding ink besides him. After a bit my wrist began to sore and I placed down the ink stick, rubbing my wrist. He glanced at me. "Tired?"
"I'm fine."
He glanced at the ink. "More than enough anyways. It's alright, take a break. You can go back and rest first if you want."
"No, no. It's alright. I'll stay here with you."
He offered me a soft smile. I returned it, turning away, making my way back to the window I had shut and opening it again. A blast of nighttime air entered the room and I sucked in a deep breath. Chiqian's office was one of the quietest parts of our entire section of the manor. Right outside was a garden with a small pond, a few koi fishes usually swimming in it. Though it was dark now, only lit by a few lanterns, so they were not visible to the eye.
"Chiqian?"
"Yes?"
"If the Crown Prince and the Third Prince actually go to war over the throne, what do we do?"
He paused for a moment as I turned around to face him, my head tilted slightly.
"They won't go to war."
"Not until the Emperor is gone, no."
"But if they do... we have to back the Crown Prince. If he loses, Yunhua and the Shangguans will be dragged into it as well. They might be executed. You'll be dragged into that, and the rest of us in association."
"Can't we run away?"
"Where is there to run? My father tried. We're princes. And we're nobles in this empire. There is nowhere we can run where they cannot catch us."
"The Crown Prince has to win."
"I know. But only time will tell who comes up victorious."
There was no use worrying about it. I knew that. I was powerless to affect everything much at the end of the day. I was one girl.
But I couldn't help but worry. I couldn't help but think about what might happen in the future. What might befall me and my family, the people I care about, if we placed the wrong bet.
It all terrified me.
Everything felt so beyond my control. Once the opulence of Luoyang had worn off, I was left with the bare skin and bones. And the knowledge that despite having achieved my original goal in coming here, there were only more and more challenges awaiting me. Knowing that one misstep would not only result in the forfeit of my life but all those I cared about as well.
I didn't regret coming here. I would never.
But that didn't mean I wasn't scared.