Adelina POV:
One would think I would have a fear of all men. A very rational fear, it would be. I guess I wouldn't say I'm scared. I would rather say I get uncomfortable at times. Those times aren't as few and far between as I would have hoped.
I don't like to talk about everything I'm not good at. I like to point out what I am good at instead. Being cool and calm on the exterior, distractions, avoiding the subject, numbness, sarcasm and facades are things I pride myself on. Whether it's a good or bad thing.
It's embarassing how bad I am at sleep, how I let emotions wreck me, how little control over my mind I have. The manic thoughts drown out the sane ones much too often but there's always one voice that refuses to give in to the tide. That strained thought is what keeps me standing when everything else sways.
I haven't had the most horrible experience with men around my age. I wouldn't flinch at a raised hand or step forward so I don't understand why I would flinch at Francesco's raised arm the other week. Anyone who is middle-aged or older is a different story, but I think that's understandable.
It's practically intolerable to be near an older man, but that never applied to younger ones. So I don't know why living in a house with my supposed brothers has become overwhelming at times.
I've stayed out of their way recently and they've let me which I'm somewhat grateful for. I don't see anyone in the mornings usually so I end up skipping breakfast. Without fail, we've always had dinner together.
So now that I'm sitting at the table, I can't help but notice Raffaele's empty seat. No one's mentionned anything, probably left me out of it because no one's even questionned it. My plate is left untouched like I'm awaiting his arrival, which I partly am.
I look around then down several times, not completely knowing what to do with myself before finally just sitting back. I watch everyone's conversation and start to realize how little I have in common with these people. They flaunt privileges without realizing it, it's not necessarily their fault but it just goes to show how different we were brought up.
And I'm glad I was not brought up like this.
My silence goes unnoticed for the most part, no one brings up that I'm not eating. I'm not sure whether I should be glad or pissed. Not pissed that they don't care, pissed that they pretended to.
"Would you like something else to eat, Adelina?" Angelo's voice interrupts my thoughts.
"No thank you, this is fine," I reply quickly, it's not a lie. The food looks good.
"Then why haven't-"
"Hey, where's Raffaele?" I interrupt.
They look at me with a sort of soft smile. Except Valerio.
"Still downstairs. He probably hasn't realized the time," Angelo says.
I nod.
"Do you mind going to get him?" Francesco asks me.
"I mean I'm pretty comfortable-"
"Shut up Valentino," Angelo laughs.
The boys' attention then turns to me. I hide a small grin at Valentino, who could probably make anyone laugh.
"Go," Domenico demands.
I look at him, taken aback "I don't think I heard a please,"
His jaw clenches and Valerio, who I sat next to, tenses and looks about ready to get up. He shifts slightly forward in his seat, imperceptibly. However, I see it.
"Please?" Valentino pipes up.
"What?" I look at him, confused.
"Well Dom obviously isn't going to say please. So I said it, because I have manners'" he says as if it's obvious.
"Valentino," Domenico says exasperated.
"Got it," he says looking down and a small laugh escapes me.
"I guess I'll go," I say hesitantly, not wanting to cause and argument between anyone and Valentino, and make my way to the room Raffaele spends majority of his time.
There's soft music streaming from underneath the door and I realize I've only briefly seen it's contents. It's an art room.
Orginally, there wasn't meant to be one but Raffaele turned a random spare bedroom into one.
My first mistake is walking in without knocking. I didn't think he'd care. I open the door slowly, not wanting to accidentally frighten my quietest brother but he can't hear me.
No one told me I should knock, or that he didn't like people coming in.
He's standing back from the canvas, his back facing me, observing it then stepping closer to add colour or details.
I watch, not knowing what to think. He looks to be in his element. I'm not able to see his work from this angle. He moves around almost in a trance, practically putting me in one until I clear my throat.
He looks back at me, a startled expression taking over his features before panic replaces it. He hurries to his painting, shielding it for me but not before I catch a slight glimpse of it.
It didn't seem like anything to hide. It's mountains with a beautiful blue,pink and purple sunset. I would say that he doesn't like people seeing his work, but the panic on his face throws me off.
"Dinners ready, you should come eat," I say before walking away. I walk back towards where I came from. I go up the stairs slow enough, trying to find any sounds indicating that he's following. Distantly, I hear a door close and footsteps and automatically speed up getting to the table.
I obviously arrive before him, so for a few moments I sit in silence while everyone keeps chatting. He sits soon after and apologises for being late, saying he lost track of time and looks at me very nervously.
He starts eating without paying me a glance and I look down. I try to catch his eye again but he becomes engrossed listening to the conversation the other boys were having. Something about cousins I would be meeting soon. I sigh, looking down for what feels like the millionth time, then look around and finally sit back deciding it is a sign.
My normally neutral mood dops considerably due to everything surrounding this dinner and my leg starts to bounce under the table. I find myself becoming rapidly overwhelmed.
"Hey guys," I say into the noisy room.
"What," Valerio says turning towards me, gaining everyone's attention.
"I'm going to leave," I speak. It's been two weeks since the first time I've gone to the creek. Since then, I've gone back five times and always seen Sebastian. We wouldn't talk much the first couple times but progressively sat closer and closer together.
I don't know if it's a game he's playing, but it seems pretty interesting to me.
I get up, leaving my still full plate and walk towards the door. I text Sebastian I'm leaving, we exchanged numbers some time ago but don't text unless to say we were going to the creek. I start to put on my shoes and I'm out the door.
The walk isn't a short one, but one that is peaceful. I take a look at the wealthy houses. I always imagined I'd end up in a neighborhood like this, but I never once let myself dream it would happen this way.
I make it to the bridge before Sebastian does. I sigh, leaning my arms over the wooden railing while staring into the forest. I reach into my pocket, pulling out my vape and contemplate just throwing it. But that wouldn't make anything easier.
I inhale a fairly large amount of smoke, letting it leave my lungs only moments later while observing a particularly fascinating tree. I watch as the smoke rises to the sky.
"Sick," a voice from behind me says.
I didn't even hear him walk up. I smirk, turning around and mutter an "I know,right?" under my breath. He walks to stand next to me, enjoying a moment of silence. He then sits down where he was previously standing.
I look down at him with a questioning gaze, before he smirks lightly. He pats the ground near my feet. I watch as the metal rings on his fingers tap lightly, indicating for me to sit. I raise an eyebrow at his actions but end up sitting shoulder to shoulder with him. This is the closest we've ever sat and I have no complaints.
I pass him my vape, knowing he probably wants it, and enjoy his presence. Our conversations have been minimal and I'm starting to think that's just how he is.
We spend a bit of time just passing it back and forth. His hand intentionally grazing mine everytime he hands it back to me. Everytime he does so, tingles errupt in my fingers at the obviously flirtatious move. He also starts playing with my hair, saying it's what he does to keep himself entertained. I can't help but think that's a lie.
Anybody could see the gleam in my eyes when I decide that two could play at that game. Everytime I get the opportunity,with the small conversation we do have, I lean into to him the smallest bit and tilt my head exposing my neck and let him smell my perfume.
I smirk to myself seeing his reactions everytime, as he does with mine.
"How long have you been coming here?" I say after a while.
He takes a moment before replying.
"About 3 years or so,"
"You're lucky," I say "I would've loved to have a place like this where I used to live,"
We fall back into a silence. This one is more tense and less peaceful.
"I found it after some stuff happened, it gave me peace when I needed it to so I never stopped coming," he spoke softly.
I turn to look at his eyes, still sitting directly next to him, and found a guard that went up.
"What happened," I speak equally as softly. At this point, we're face to face and the closest we've ever been. I could only smell his cologne which calmed the eeriness the darkness that now falls over us had created in me.
"Nothing important," he says quickly "why'd you move?" he changes the subject. I let him, knowing that I wouldn't want to be forced to talk if it were the other way around. Which now I guess it is.
"No important reason," I reply.
He searches my eyes as I search his. After a couple of seconds, realizing I wasn't going to move away, he leans back and brushes a piece of my hair from my face.
"You're hiding something," he announces.
"So are you," I say.
"But none of it is pertinent right now,"
"It's not," I agree.
"So there's no need to ask questions about any of that,"
"There isn't," I agree again. He sticks out his hand towards me.
"None of it matters?" he says. My hand seems much smaller compared to his when I go to shake his hand. The cool metal of the rings create a different sensation across my hand than the tingles his fingers did.
"None of it matters," I agree for the third time in a row. A small smile tugs at his lips. He stands up, leaving me looking at him confused, before offering me a hand up.
I look at it, then back to him while he raises an eyebrow at me. I smirk and ignore his hand, standing up.
The smile on his lips is now replaced by a smirk of his own and he just stares at me.
"You're staring," I announce.
"You're something else," he chuckles slightly.
"What's that supposed to mean," I smile while shoving him slightly.
"That's for me to know, and you" he takes a step towards me "to think about,"
"Did I hurt your masculinity?" I question with a fake sympathetic look.
"Deeply," he says faking hurt "refusing my hand like that? I can feel my pride melting,"
"Oh well we don't want that," I say, sitting back on the ground "Want a do-over?"
He simply smiles, a big genuine smile, the most beautiful smile, and sticks out his hand for me to hold. I contemplate leaving him hanging again, but ultimately decide against it.
I grasp his hand and he pulls me up, leaving us face to face again.
"Better?" I breath out.
He smirks at me, his dark eyes sparkling in amusement.
"Much,"
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Hiya lovelies!
I'm genuinely going to cry, we're about to hit 50k. I can't believe this. I started this story for fun, like everyone else mostly has, and expected it to go no where. I can never thank you guys enough this is amazing.
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Why was Raffaele acting like that?
More of Sebastian?
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Bye loveliessssssss