Raffaele POV:
I've never been a fan of loud places.
Through all that I've grown up around and with everyone I've ever met, I could easily say that those who've been raised with chaos thrive in it. They rejoice in loud thumping music, and feel uncomfortable to be left alone with their own thoughts, their own emotions, their own vices. But I've never had anything else.
I have never been outgoing and wanting to participate, never preferred to play in the game of football my brothers and cousins all enjoyed at family events over sitting with the adults and listening quietly. What had been failed to be perceived by not only everyone else, but also myself, was that I was never shy.
It wasn't until I didn't have my mother anymore, and once my little sister vanished, that I realized there was a difference. I was always told I was shy, I was labelled with it because I was too young to express that I was simply introverted. It was no one's fault, nobody knew and that included me.
The loss of the two changed all of us, my dad arguably the most, but no one saw the change in me because I was already labelled.
It was for the best.
Angelo had one less person to run after and worry about. Domenico was thrown into the care of our wellbeing because my father became incapable, Francesco had been determined to do the same, Angelo became constanty worried about us all and the twins lacked steady upbringing.
And this was all seperate from our individual greiving processes.
So I had to be ok.
It worked out better, anyways, because expressing my emotions has never been my cup of tea. I've never had any interest in people pretending to understand what it is I'm thinking. They simply can't understand when I don't.
By the time our sister was thrust back into our lives, it was too late to cause a monumental change in us. The presence of Adelina, alive and infront of us, did not necessarily stop the bleeding of our hearts.
A fool would be the only one blind enough to miss the scars layered under the honey hues of her eyes. So we all mourned, we mourned that piece of her, the only one we've ever known, never coming back.
No one dared ask anything, she clearly did not want to tell, and a large elephant in the room has been suffocating us ever since.
No one wanted to be the one to ask our baby sister to unpack her baggage.
Since she's gotten here, safe and under our roof, we've all been trying to put a name to the demons that so evidently follow her, with no success. We've all caughten a glimpse of the shadows creeping over her shoulders, the smokey black hand pinching her nose and have seen how effortless she looks while trying to push them away.
But now is different. Now, she stands on the stairs in silence. She had been speaking in circles, the most off her game I've ever seen her even after the attack she had yesterday, I could now see her crack.
We all stand shocked, all processing the first piece of raw emotion we've seen from her. And such an unidentifiable emotion it is. Her arms lay limp by her sides and the fight that has been warming her eyes was extinguished swiftly.
We could all recognize it now, the invisible lever that had been pulled, the one that shut off all the lights to tell us no one was home. Not one of us could argue that we didn't see it.
From silence, we were stunned into stupefaction.
Francesco is the first to attempt to step forward, to regain her focus, and suddenly that jolted us all into action.
"What the fuck?"
"What are you staring at?"
"Adelina, hun, you alright?"
"Stop fucking staring at her, guys."
But I don't speak. I watch. I watch silently as Valerio takes large steps in Francesco's direction, intercepting him when he tries to get to her. I observe when Angelo goes over, all be it hesitant and with his eyes lingering on Adelina, to ease the tension between the two.
Domenico's eyes stay locked on Addi's blank ones and I approach to join the madness, to engulf myself in it because I know I have to, but this time I do not pass unperceived. This time, I am stopped by a hand on my chest and Domenico at my side.
Valentino stands in front of the both of us, eyes quickly darting back and forth between his twin and us. Uncertainty swims in his eyes, picks him apart in scrutiny, and I realize he too doesn't understand. But he's loyal to Valerio without question.
Of course, in any outside context, where blood is not rivaling blood, we know where our loyalties lie. In family, in our bonds, in what makes us certain that no matter what, we are not unlovable.
But what happens between the six, now seven, walls that make up home is entirely different.
The twins have undying allegiance to each other, something none of us could experience in the way that they do. Like them, Domenico and Francesco understand each other like nobody else could. Trauma bonds you, and both pairs are proof of that.
Angelo and I understand each other, communicate the clearest though not the loudest. We are Switzerland, the voice of reason, I'd like to believe, the neutrality.
Valerio's shouts get louder. When I look over, I see the look in his eye.
Fear.
It suddenly clicks and I understand that he will allow no one near her, because now, he's panicked.
"Everyone back up." it takes a couple seconds for me to realize the order came from me. Confusion laces the air, and only Francesco and Angelo take steps back.
Domenico isn't one to be told what to do, but it is clear he does not know how to handle the high emotions the situation has brought and while he relies on Angelo with everything regarding the emotions of his siblings, Angelo has not figured out what is happening yet.
But I have. Or at least part of it.
My skin itches with discomfort at the eyes following me while I travel the short distance between Domenico and myself.
"Valerio was the last one to see her before they took her."Â I muttered, my voice low and quiet for only us to hear "He was the one trying to hide her, protect her. He's been on edge since she missed dinner and he's barely left her side since he brought her back. Just let him keep control for a bit."
Understanding flickers in his eyes and with reluctance, he backs off too.
When Valerio judges us a far enough distance away, he calls Valentino's name. Valentino then proceeds to nod and walk slowly over to Adelina.
The air is sucked out of the room and we lean, still rooted to our spots, to hear the soft words Valentino speaks to her. But she appears to be hearing nothing, completely ignoring the person speaking to her.
I'd never seen her look so empty.
It feels like hours, a complete eternity, really, before she finally snaps her head up.
I was ready. Ready to see defiance, or anger in those eyes but they were absent. Instead she's meager and makes herself small.
And with slow and soft steps, she moves. She passes Valentino, then Valerio, then me, turns her steps away from Angelo and Francesco and faces Domenico.
But she won't meet his eyes.
Instead she sinks to her knees in front of him.
Both knees hit the ground with such soundless impact I feel it in my bones. She sits on her heels with both shins completely touching the floor and her chin tucked into her chest.
It is then a thread a confusion could be seen passing through all of us, overcharged with guilt and fury. But no one knows how to react.
Because she has just knelt to someone she swore she never would.
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Hello my lovelies <3
Thank you all for the kind and encouraging comments. You will never know how much it truly means to me.
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bye loveliessss