Chapter 17

SABINA

I woke up to a world of darkness. For a moment, I was lost, but then my senses kicked in. The first thing I felt was the cold.

It was freezing, and the next thing I noticed was the dampness on my back. Confused, I tried to roll over, but a firm hand kept me flat on my stomach.

“Stay asleep, Bluebell. Just rest, my beautiful girl,” Aboloft murmured. Fear gripped me as I detected a change in his voice. Was he...weeping?

No, that couldn’t be. Aboloft never wept. He was the king. He had no reason to weep.

“Abol—” My words choked off as I felt his hand on my back, my bare back. Surprised, I tried to rise again, but his hand was like a heavy stone, keeping me flat.

“It’s okay, Bina. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” His voice was rough. He was really weeping, and that brought tears to my own eyes.

Seeing Aboloft upset was unbearable. It felt like the flowers wilted and the sun refused to shine when he wasn’t smiling. And right now, he was weeping, and it was breaking my heart.

“Aboloft, you’re weeping,” I mumbled.

“Your scars…” That was all he needed to say to make my tears fall.

My scars were hideous, and no matter how much I wished they would disappear, I knew they wouldn’t.

And now Aboloft was seeing my scars for the first time. But how? How did he know about my scars when I never told him?

Regardless, I couldn’t bear the thought of Aboloft seeing my scars. And right now, he was looking at them. I had no idea how long he had been looking.

I didn’t even know how long I had been asleep, but this had to stop. My scars were too hideous, I was too hideous, and Aboloft didn’t deserve to see that.

With all the strength I could gather, I sat up and turned so my back was hidden from Aboloft’s view. It was dark, so I couldn’t see anything, not even Aboloft, but I knew he was there, on the bed with me.

“Bina, no. Lie down,” Aboloft ordered, grabbing my wrists. I was surprised he could see in the dark. I could barely make out anything.

“No, Aboloft. You can’t see those scars.” It was then that I realized my clothes were torn, and I quickly grabbed the blanket to cover myself.

Even in the darkness, I didn’t want to take any chances. What happened to my clothes? Were they cut?

“Why? Why do you keep hiding from me, Sabina? Why can’t you just open up? When will you realize that you can’t hide from me anymore?” Aboloft asked.

Even though it was dark, I had a feeling Aboloft knew where I was, and he was looking right at me.

“What are you talking about? I’m not hiding from you.” I told him.

“Stop lying to me. Just stop lying to me! I’ve had it with your secrets and your lies, now no more. This ends now, Bina! No more secrets and no more lies!”

The force in his voice frightened me. What was he talking about? When had I lied to him?

“What do you mean, Aboloft?” I asked.

“You don’t remember?”

Did I detect a hint of arrogance in his tone? “I don’t remember what?” Confusion and fear crept down my spine.

“You don’t remember that you told me everything that happened to you over the past eight years? You don’t remember telling me how your father hurt you along with the people of Wilsden?”

When did I tell him that? No, it couldn’t be. I didn’t tell him anything. I remembered fragments of conversation in my dreams, but those weren’t real, so how could he claim that I told him everything?

“Yo-you’re lying. I didn’t tell you anything,” I stammered.

“I know the people of Wilsden tried to burn you alive. And you could’ve died if Beth hadn’t helped you.

“I also know that you didn’t want to leave me, but your father forced you to leave me. And you are the one who told me all these things, Sabina,” Aboloft replied.

I shook my head in disbelief. How could I do that? Tears streamed down my face. How could Aboloft shatter me so easily? Why didn’t I remember telling him these things?

I said these things to the Aboloft in my dreams, not him. I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want to burden him with my past, and now I had. Somehow, I had done what I promised myself I wouldn’t do.

“H-how…” Tears made it hard for me to speak. I shouldn’t have told Aboloft anything. I loved him, and I told him about my past. I was so weak that I couldn’t handle the punishments, that I gave in.

I heard movement before I felt strong arms around me and a warmth I didn’t realize I was craving.

“Ssh, quiet now. No more tears. You’ve cried too much, Bina. No more.” Aboloft kissed my cheek before resting his cheek on mine. And when I felt the wetness, I knew that he was still weeping.

“Don’t weep, Aboloft.” I raised my hand and wiped his face.

“No, don’t tell me not to weep. I can’t do that right now, Bluebell.” Aboloft held me tight.

Just as I was starting to get comfortable in his embrace, he removed his arms from around me and got up from the bed.

I blinked a few times when Aboloft lit a few candles, filling the room with a soft glow. He then walked over to the cupboard and began to search through it, making me wonder what he was looking for.

Aboloft returned a moment later, this time holding a coil of chain in his hands. “Lie down, Bluebell,” he commanded.

The sight of the chain made me yearn for freedom. I wanted to escape, to run far away from them. Why did Aboloft have them in his grasp? What was his plan?

I shook my head, confusion clouding my thoughts. “Why do you have that chain?” I asked.

“Sabina, lie down. Don’t make me force you. I’m at my limit, so do as I say or face the consequences,” he threatened.

“No. I won’t lie down,” I declared.

With a sigh, Aboloft lunged forward. He grabbed my legs and yanked, causing me to fall flat on my back.

Before I could scramble up, he seized my wrists and pinned them above my head, then looped the long chain around my wrists and the metal bar of the headrest.

In no time, Aboloft had me secured, making it impossible for me to sit up.

I thought that was it. I thought he would just tie me up. But I was wrong. Once he was done with the chain, Aboloft flipped me over so I was lying on my stomach, my back exposed.

The chains around my wrists tightened, the cold metal links biting into my skin.

“Aboloft, what are you doing?” This was new. Yes, Aboloft had become a cruel king, but he had never restrained me like this. What was he planning? Was he going to hurt me?

“No more tears, Bina.” He leaned forward and wiped the tears from my eyes, but it didn’t stop them from falling.

Fear and distress washed over me at what Aboloft had just revealed. I had spilled everything. How could I betray the man I loved like that?

“Aboloft, please let me go. What are you doing?” I didn’t recognize this side of him. It was as if he had morphed into a completely different person.

I started to thrash when Aboloft removed the blanket, exposing my body to him. I was thankful that he didn’t bare my lower half to his gaze.

He then straddled my body, his hands on my shoulders, kneading them in a soothing manner.

“Relax, my beautiful goddess.” He kissed my temple. “Just relax.”

“Why are you doing this? Aboloft, please stop,” I begged.

“I stopped once, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I listened to you before, and I almost lost my happiness. No more, my sweet. No more,” he whispered.

Panic and terror gripped me, causing me to shake and sob harder as I lay beneath him.

I regretted this, regretted telling him everything. Aboloft had truly changed. Eight years ago, he would’ve done anything I asked, but now he refused.

Before I could protest further, Aboloft pressed his lips to the scar on my back. I tensed as his lips lingered on my skin, tracing the length of the silver mark.

Suddenly, memories of being trapped in the fire and begging for help flooded my mind, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut.

“I’m so sorry, Bina. So sorry for not protecting you from the fire,” Aboloft murmured.

He then kissed the end of another scar, one that started from my shoulder and ended at my waist. I knew each and every scar that marred my back, and their exact lengths.

When Beth had saved me, I had spent hours running my hands over my scars, memorizing each one.

Aboloft’s lips moved over the raised scar, starting from my shoulder and trailing all the way down until he reached the end. He kissed my scar a few times, and I wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole.

I struggled, even though I knew it was pointless, because his kisses were stirring up painful memories of my past. Aboloft’s kisses were torture, and I didn’t know how much longer I could endure it.

“My beautiful goddess. So sweet and pure,” he murmured.

“Don’t say that! Don’t call me beautiful, because I’m not. I’m ugly and damaged. I’m a witch.” Fresh tears streamed down my face.

“No, my sweet, no. You are beautiful, and I will spend the rest of my life making you believe that. You are my queen, Bina. My sweet, beautiful, pure queen,” Aboloft replied.

“The Aboloft I knew would never lie to me. Why are you lying to me, Aboloft? Why?” I sobbed as his lips moved over another scar, this one on the corner of my waist.

“My Bluebell, I am not lying to you,” Aboloft replied.

“You are lying to me. You hate me, just like everyone else hates me. So don’t lie to me and tell me I’m beautiful, because I know I’m not.

“I’m ugly and the scars on my body prove it. Hurt me. Beat me. Kill me. But don’t lie to me, Aboloft,” I told him.

“I don’t hate you, my sweet. I could never hate you, never.” He kissed my cheek.

“You do hate me, because if you didn’t, then you wouldn’t have hurt me,” I countered.

“I hurt you because I was angry. I didn’t know what you’d been through. I was angry at you for leaving me, and I wanted to punish you. I still want to punish you, and I will.

“But Bluebell, you have no idea how much I regret what I did after hearing your story. I shouldn’t have punished you like that, Bina. Forgive me, my beautiful goddess.” Aboloft ran his fingers through my hair.

“I won’t forgive you, Aboloft. I won’t.” I tried to breathe evenly, but it was impossible with the relentless flow of tears.

“You will. You have to,” Aboloft replied.

“You made it hard for me to walk. You made it impossible for me to breathe. You turned sleep into my enemy. And now you say you still want to punish me, that you will punish me. How can I forgive you?”

He paused, his lips on my scar. “I caused you pain before. I punished you with pain, but now I will punish you in a different way.”

“You’re killing me here,” I admitted. Each scar his lips grazed brought back a painful memory.

“I’m aware. I’m punishing you, my beautiful goddess. I’ve got more punishments lined up for you, and I won’t stop until I’m convinced you’ve paid for the eight years of pain you inflicted on me,” Aboloft replied.

“You’ll punish me until I’m dead.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“No, my sweet. I don’t want your death. I want your life, but in a different way,” he said.

“Please, Aboloft. I can’t take it anymore,” I begged.

“I won’t stop until you’re spent. I won’t stop until your body gives in and you fall back asleep. You still need more rest,” he declared.

“Please. You listened to me eight years ago. Listen to me now. Please stop this torment. I can’t bear it,” I implored him. Why was he being so stubborn?

“I told you before, I won’t do as you command anymore. You’re my captive, and you’ll do what ~I~ command. Close your eyes, Bina. Let your mind go,” he said.

But that was the problem. That was where he was mistaken. I couldn’t let my mind go because I wasn’t free.

My past wouldn’t allow me to be free. Quopia wouldn’t allow me to be free. I was forever trapped, imprisoned in pain and blood. There was nothing I could do to free myself.

“All I want is to be free of you, Aboloft. Nothing more,” I whispered, my heart aching at the lie. I didn’t want to be free of Aboloft. How could I when he was the man I loved, the reason I was even here?

Aboloft laughed softly before rising from where he was straddling me and flipping me over so I was lying on my stomach.

He kissed me deeply and passionately, overwhelming my senses before locking his gaze with mine, ensnaring me in his dark stare.

“You’ll never have that. If you want to be free of me, then understand one thing.

“You will never be free of me.”