Music plays softly in the background as we approach the cabin on a lone dirt road.
It's completely secluded. The only sound is the tires rolling along the road as Xavier parks on the driveway.
"No neighbours?"
He shakes his head, unbuckling his seatbelt. "Mum wanted it that way."
"Not sure if that's safer or not," I mumble. "What happens if I need serious help?"
"We have reception," he retorts, climbing from the car.
I follow after him, opening the door as I step out into the chill consuming the air.
The cabin is exactly the stereotypical type I'd imagined. Logwood, chimney protruding from the roof, pathway lined with small shrubs that are covered in light frost.
Xavier pulls my suitcase from the back of the car, dropping in onto the dampened earth. He lugs it up the steps, leaving it beside the door as he unlocks the heavy wood.
"When was the last time you were here?" I ask.
The key clicks in the lock and Xavier swings the door open, welcoming the smell of musk and wood.
"Right after Brax's funeral, I came up here for a bit. Maybe two weeks? Then I heard you'd...gone away and Sof was upset, so I came home. Faced reality again."
I grab my suitcase, rolling it inside as I take in the space.
It's comfortable, with a small kitchen area to the right and a lounge area to the left. The L-shaped leather couch takes up most of the area, with a wooden tv cabinet against the central wall.
A few photos line the wall. I look away when I notice one of Brax as a teen.
"That wasn't what I was doing, by the way," I say, turning back towards Xavier.
"What?"
"Avoiding reality."
"I didn't say you were," he retorts.
"It seemed implied. By the way you saidânevermind, I don't want to fight."
"I wasn't having a go at you. I wasn't even talking about you. Don't overthink everything, Rhea."
He walks towards me, taking my luggage out of my hand. His cold thumb touches my palm lightly as I pass it over to him. "You can have the master bedroom. It's got an ensuite."
"Are you staying the night?" I ask.
"It's getting dark. May as well."
He leads the way down the small hallway, stopping short at a closed door to my left. It opens with a whine, blasting more musty air.
A double bed sits in the the centre of the room between two bedside tables. A white floral quilt covers the bed. A framed photo of Casey as a baby sits on one of the tables.
"The ensuite is just through there. You can unpack your bag and hang anything upâ"
"Thanks. I know how a room works."
He rolls his eyes, arm resting against the door frame.
"Are we going back out to get food for dinner?" I ask, placing my bag against the floor as I unzip it.
"I came up a few days ago. There should be enough food here to last you a week."
Xavier watches me as I begin pulling out some of my items. "How long am I going to be stuck here again? No longer than a week, right?"
"Until I know it's safe for you to come home."
"But I have a lifeâ"
"We aren't discussing this further. Not again."
"Okay. dad."
He ignores my comment, stepping back from the door. "I'll cook dinner tonight. You rest."
I raise an eyebrow. "You're being suspiciously nice."
"Why couldn't you just say nice?"
"Because it's not normal."
I look up again to find him missing from the doorway. Pots and pans begin to clatter from the kitchen and I sigh, continuing to unpack my bag.
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Xavier makes a decent homemade pizza. It's got just the right amount of crunch without the burnt taste.
I don't give him this satisfaction, though. No Patridge boy needs an ego boost.
We're sitting on the couch, watching an old movie playing on a television station. I've seen it before so I'm only half paying attention to the low volume.
The fire crackles in the corner of the room and I pull the woollen throw closer to my chest. There is something very comforting about this place.
I wish Brax had brought me here when he was alive.
"Do you know how bored I'm going to be here by myself?" I sigh.
"Sof will come visit you on her days off. She's started to pick up some more shifts at the bar again."
I'd completely forgotten to bring that up with her, but I'd mentioned it in passing to Beckett. He must have been worried too if he actually listened to what I'd said.
"That's good," I nod. "I'm glad."
"I'll be up later this week too. I'll bring you some more food. Just make a list of what you'd like."
"Thanks," I nod, tucking my hands under my bent knees for warmth.
"Did you just thank me?" he grins, shoving at my foot.
"Shh. I'm watching this."
"No, you're not," he scoffs, tugging off my blanket.
"Hey!" I frown, reaching out for it.
Xavier holds it from my reach. I lunge forward, reaching out for it. He moves further back so that his arm is hanging over the couch. The height difference has never been more obvious. I'm struggling to reach it.
"Dude, I'm cold," I grumble.
"Dude?" he laughs. "Friendzoned."
His arm goes slack for a second and I'm able to reach it, tumbling over him as I do.
He clears his throat, letting me have the blanket as my hand lands against his chest.
I realise why he's suddenly gone so awkward. He hadn't meant to say what he had outloud.
"I didn't meanâ"
"It's okay," I laugh awkwardly. "I know it didn't mean anything."
"Just have the whole kiss, I didn'tâI just..."
"Xavier Patridge, lost for words," I shake my head sarcastically. "Never been seen before."
He grips my arm as I realise I'm still leaning against his chest. He stops me before I can move any further. "I don't regret it," he says, breathlessly.
"Xavierâ"
"I know how wrong it is," he continues. "I know you were my brother's girl. I know I shouldn't want you but I can't stop thinking about you. It's infuriating."
I'm too stunned to speak as he moves to sit up, holding me in his lap. "It wasn't so bad before we kissed and even though that was a complete shit show, it's like I know what I'm missing."
My hand begins to tremble in his as he moves his thumb against my palm. "I'm sorry that I feel like this and if you need me to stay away for a while, if this is making you too uncomfortable, then I understand. I understand that this isn't right."
I lightly push off his chest, needing some breathing room. He obliges, letting me sit beside him in silence for a moment.
"I wasn't expecting any of that," I whisper. "IâI'm still in love with him, Xavier. I need you to know that."
"I do," he says calmly. "I never doubted that."
We lapse into silence again. He's staring intently at the wall behind me, like he's trying to think of what he wants to say.
"I think I'm going to go to bed," he says. "Night."
"Okay," I whisper, watching as he leaves the room quietly.
I decide to go to bed soon after, packing up the dishes and the left over pizza. Once I turn the TV off I'm surrounded in darkness. Darkness that slowly creeps up my spine, giving me chills.
I can feel the darkness watching me, waiting for me to break. It's exactly what I'm been worried about. The loneliness already settling in when I'm not even in a house by myself.
I creep down the hallway, making a split decision before I can really think of what I'm doing.
I knock quietly on his door, peaking inside when I hear movement. "Rhea?"
"Can I sleep in here tonight?"
"Are you alright?" he says, groggily. I can tell I've woken him from sleep.
"Yeah, I just struggle with new places sometimes. I'm better with familiarity."
"Okay," he whispers. The sheets rustle as he turns on the lamp beside his bed, casting the room in shadows.
He moves over, sitting up. His bare chest is revealed as he moves. I look away, feeling myself flush.
"Did you have a nightmare?" he asks, rubbing his eyes.
I shake my head, sitting tentively on the edge of the bed. "No, I haven't even slept yet. I justâ I don't want to be alone right now."
He moves the duvet back to give me room as I crawl under, removing my sweater.
I lay down and Xavier shuts off the light, surrounding me in darkness again. This time, I don't feel so scared.
I feel like my breathing is too hard and my limps are too heavy. Xavier must be aware of my dicomfort as he reaches for my hand, holding it in his.
"It's okay to still love him," he whispers.
I clench my eyes shut, squeezing his hand once so that he's know I've heard him.
I feel his breathing even out next to me and his hand softening around mine. But I don't let go of his until the day breaks across the horizon.