When I wake up, I don't know where I am. It's dark and I'm cold. My teeth begin to chatter and I realise that a heavy fog still seems to be controlling my thoughts.
At first, I think Charlie has kidnapped me again but then I recognise his scent and the comfortable leather of the car's interior beneath me.
I'm still drunk.
How long has it been since I left the club?
"You're awake."
I gasp in fright, clenching my chest.
Brax's car. The club. Him finding me.
Layla isn't sitting next to me anymore. I turn towards the side that she'd been sitting in before I fell asleep, finding it empty. I look out the window, realising that we are parked opposite my apartment building. When I squint, I notice Lay sitting on the front steps, holding her arms close to her chest.
"I shouldâ"
My words are barely an audible slur as I reach for the door. I missed the handle three times. I begin to chuckle to myself like I've lost my mind. I probably have.
"She has your key. She just chose to sit outside," Brax says.
"Where's Sof?" I can barely keep my eyes open.
"I dropped her home first. She's been worried about you and seeing you like this didn't help."
"Okay?" I scoff.
The car falls silent. I give up on the door handle and sit back in my seat, staring at Brax's eyes through the rear-vision mirror. I don't appreciate the way he stares back. I can feel his disapproval.
"You don't get to do that," I say.
"Do what, Rhea?"
The way he says my name makes me shiver. I look away from his eyes, turning towards Lay. She's sitting on the steps, scrolling through her phone now.
"Judge."
"I'm not judging."
"I know all your face expressions. Facial. Facial expressions," I stumble. "Weren't you ever told it's rude to stare?"
"What happened tonight?" he asks.
"It's not a crime for me to get drunk," I retort.
"It should be when your life is in danger."
"Well, who is to blame for that?" I snap.
I wince, a headache suddenly blooming along my forehead. It thuds violently causing me to lean forward, hands on my knees.
"If you're going to vomit, I'd appreciate you doing it outside."
"Shut up," I grumble.
"Rheaâ"
"Stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Saying my name!"
Oh god, why am I crying?
My cheeks are so damp that I wonder how I hadn't noticed it sooner. Everything feels so numb. I dig my nails into my knees and I feel nothing. All that is left behind are the half-crescent moons from my fingers.
"I need you to tell me what's going on. Truthfully."
"Truthfully?" I bark, my voice cracking. "I didn't realise you even knew the meaning of the word."
"Can we have a conversation without you bringing that up in anger?" he says. "I said I was sorry. But I won't take it back. I needed to leave you."
I needed to leave you.
I bite my lip to suppress the next sob. I sit up and he must see it in my eyes: the hurt. He sighs.
"I didn't meanâ I didn't want to leave," he whispers. "You must know that by now?"
"How would I know that? A whole year you were gone. That's not a small amount of time. If you loved me, you should have given me some kind of clue about what you were going to do."
"So that I could put you in more danger? It was better that you knew nothing."
"So that I could look pathetic in front of everyone who knew the truth about you being alive?"
"You could never look pathetic."
He still doesn't get it. I could never do to him what he did to me, not if I knew that he was in such a vulnerable place like I was last year.
"Anyway, what good did you leaving do? I've been kidnapped, given ultimatums, torturedâ"
"What ultimatums?"
Of course, that's what he'd pick up on and not the kidnapped and tortured aspect. Like ultimatum is the most dangerous word in my sentence.
"I don't know what I'm saying," I phane innocence.
"Rhâdon't cut me out. Please."
It wasn't every day that I saw Braxton Patridge beg. In some twisted way, I liked hearing it.
"You can'tâyou can't leave again," I whisper.
"I wish I could promise you that, but I won't," he says honestly. "It would be wrong of me to do so. I promise I will never leave you unless I must, though."
The words break me until I'm holding a hand against my mouth. My mind is so scrambled that I believe my heart is about to fall out of my chest. It violently squeezes like it has finally given up on me.
"I know you don't trust me anymore, but I need you to know that I just want to help you," he says.
"I don't know if you can help," I sniff, wiping my wrist across my cheeks. I'm sure my mascara is everywhere except my lashes at this point.
"Then at least just tell me what's wrong," he says.
"It won't make any difference. You can't do anything about it."
"Please let me try."
"Brax," I say, breathless. I blink, trying to dry the heaviness that sticks to my lashes. The tears won't stop, though.
"You need to take Sof away," I answer instead. "Trust me."
He couldn't go to prison, which meant...
No. I wouldn't let anything happen to Sof. I owed it to Casey more than anyone.
There had to be another way. It had slowly started to turn in my mind, an idea that had some credibility. An idea that might work if we could outsmart Charlie.
I was sure that he was watching our every move but maybe there was a way to slip through the cracks.
"You need to take her far, far away from him," I nod at him urgently.
"Him?"
Shit. Did I say him? I meant to say here.
"Who?" he demands.
I know that I have no choice and even if I did, I don't think my drunken mind would allow me to lie.
"Charlie," I say. "Because if you don't, he'll kill her."
I watch Brax's hands tighten around the steering wheel. "It's either you or her and I can'tâI can't lose either of you. Despite everything, I can't lose you."
Again.
"He knows," Brax curses under his breath.
"Yes," I nod. "That's why he kidnapped me. To warn me what would happen if I didn't send you to prison."
I don't feel any lighter letting the truth out. The heavy burden is still there. Either way, something has to happen that I won't possibly like. Sof leaving is what is best, but it doesn't mean I want her gone from my life.
"You should have told me this initially, but I get it. You were just trying to do what you always do and protect everyone."
I look down at my hands and wonder how much blood I have carried on my hands. I wonder when all of this will truly end and I can have my life back.
"I'll fix this. Rhea, I'll fix this. That I can promise."
I watch him through the rearview mirror again and for the first time in over a year, I trust his word.
"Okay."