a/n: hi. welcome back.
* * *
"So, will you be joining me in California?" Harry asks as I apply a top coat to his nails.
"I don't know." I sigh. "I need to find a job. It's unfair to Jess if I'm unemployed for too long. I felt guilty for quitting my job, now I feel even guiltiest for not searching for a new one."
"I've already told you my take on that," he reminds me of his previous offer. "That offer is still on the table, you know?"
"And that's really sweet of you to offer, but I just..." I sigh once again, switching the hand of his I held. He took his rings off, and I tried to focus on that. His fingers strangely looked so different without rings. "I don't want to feel like a distraction while you're working. You're going to be so busy...filming music videos seems so stressful already and I wouldn't want my presence to add to any of that."
"Lili," Harry begins, his voice sounding very serious, "Now, I mean this is the nicest way possible, but...what the hell are you talking about?" He seems to force out a chuckle. "A distraction?! Come on."
"I know how stupid it sounds, but..."
"It's not that you sound stupid," he reassures me. "It's just crazy to me that you actually feel that way. You will never be a distraction...never a bad one, at least. And I wouldn't have invited you if I didn't want you to come."
"You say that but..." I sigh yet again. "It felt weird when I went to work while you were here, and I wouldn't want you to feel the same when the roles are reversed."
"But you going to work gave me the opportunity to explore. Wouldn't you want that?" To be completely honest...I would. It would be so much fun to be able to explore California. But I wouldn't want to do it alone. The idea of that terrified me. "When was the last time you went to California?"
"A long time ago," I say, exhaling deeply. "Years ago."
"Was it a family trip?"
"Sort of."
"See...wouldn't it be so fun to be able to explore around by yourself? You'd get to do what Lili wants to do," he continues to try to persuade me.
"I'm not too sure I like the sound of that," I mumble looking down. Harry furrows his eyebrows, looking deep in thought for a moment. After doing so, his face finally softens and he lets out a sigh of defeat.
"You don't want to go, do you?" He asks sadly, sounding almost exhausted.
"Can I be completely honest with you?"
"Always." He nods slowly.
"Not really." I slip my bottom lip between my teeth, nervous for his response. I didn't want to because I didn't want to spend time with Harry, because I would be crazy not to. And it wasn't that I didn't want to go to California, because I wanted to more than anything. It was the fact that while Harry was out shooting his music videos and doing his other work stuffâwhich I had no idea how all that workedâI would be sitting alone in his house. I didn't know why that bothered me...I was fine with him staying here when I had to go to work. But a lot of the time, Jess would be home before I was. That wouldn't be the case if I were to stay with him in California.
"Okay," he says simply, nodding as well. And that was it. I'd expected him to say more, or possibly try to beg me more...but he didn't. He wasn't going to push me into doing it, and I was grateful for that.
* * *
I wake up, the blinds open, causing light to flood into my bedroom. Jess and I hardly ever open the blinds, unless it's summertime, so I knew for a fact that this was an act of Mr. Styles.
Today was the day. January 15th. It seems like when I dread the day coming, it comes faster. But yet, I did it every year. And every year was the same outcome.
I missed him, my whole family did. We don't talk about him...it's frowned upon in the family, along with many other things. But they seem to act like I don't miss him, as if I didn't feel like it was my fault. Maybe they wanted me to know they thought it was...I couldn't tell you.
I drag myself out of bed, hating the day already. I know they say your day goes with your attitude, but even when I've tried to go about it positively, the day still turns to shit. I make my way into the bathroom, my need to pee stronger than my hatred toward Jordan.
As I sit down on the toilet seat, I realize I don't remember seeing Harry as I woke up. He wasn't next to me, so I'm assuming it must be later than 9:30 since that's usually the latest he sleeps. That's his "sleeping in". I do the rest of my business, as well as wash my face, and leave the bathroom.
Just as I was taking my first step into my bedroom, someone else was doing the same, but entering through the main door. That someone was Harry. I look down at his hands to see them holding a tray, and on that tray was an assortment of thingsâthings like a glass of orange juice and a plate with something on it, I didn't get a good look at it.
"Oh good, you're awake," Harry says with a smile as soon as his eyes land on me. "I was worried I was going to have to wake you up. And I may just be the worst possible person to be woken up by."
"Woken up for what, might I ask?" I ask back, smiling as well. He gestures to my side of the bed.
"Go sit down and I'll show you," he instructs. My eyes widen as I slowly make my way over to my bed, taking a seat. I think he caught on to what I had thought of and he immediately rolled his eyes. "Not like that." He chuckles.
"Why do I have to be sitting?" I ask just as he begins walking toward me, careful to not drop the tray he was holding. Once he gets to me, he sets the tray down on my lap and I take a moment to look over everything on it.
"Well, you can't have breakfast in bed without being in your bed." He chuckles. He looks down, still smiling. "Every year for my birthday, my mom would make me a 'special breakfast', usually using her waffle recipe. And since you said you don't always have the best birthdays, I at least want this year to be somewhat good. So I asked Jess if you like waffles, and she said yes so I took her word for it."
"You made all this?" I ask, almost tearing up. He nods sheepishly, blushing. I fling my arms out and wrap them around him before hugging him tightly. He rubs my back softly before I pull away, looking at him with watery eyes.
"Well not the strawberries, at least." He shrugs.
"Yeah, where did you even find these?"
"The store." He shrugs.
I look down, thinking about the strawberries for a moment. Then I realize who I was dating and why they were probably there. "Harry Edward Styles, I swear if this has anything to do with any of your songs..." I begin to threaten, but he cuts me off.
"Tastes like strawberries," he sings lowly and I plug my ears. He pulls my hand down and laughs. "I guess that song doesn't really work. It's winter...and morning time."
"Yeah, not your smartest moment." I shake my head. "But A for effort." He smiles.
"Try it," he urges eagerly, gesturing to the waffle on the plate, "I'm dying to know how it tastes."
"Didn't you make some for yourself?" I ask, pouring some maple syrup over the top. He shakes his head as I slice off a piece with my fork, popping it into my mouth. It tasted even better than it smelled, and let me tell you...it smelled absolutely incredible. My eyes widen as my tastebuds are engulfed with that taste of the waffle. I close my eyes and let out a sigh of satisfaction.
"Good?" Harry asks hopefully.
"Indescribable," I respond after a moment before taking another bite.
"Right?!" he agrees. "It's like some family recipe...my mom has tons and they're all amazing."
"Tell your mom I'm gonna need this recipe," I tell him with a mouthful.
"No can do." He shakes his head. I shoot him a confused look. "She's pretty picky on who she shares the recipes with. And you're not technically part of the family."
I roll my eyes. "Fine," I say, shrugging. "I'm just going to have to fly out to...wherever she lives, and steal the recipe from here."
"You have fun with that." He chuckles as he stands up. "Alright," He sighs, "I'm gonna leave you alone with that waffle now. Don't have too much fun with it while I'm gone."
"No promises." I shake my head, popping another bite into my mouth.
"That damn waffle better not steal my role," Harry threatens, bending down so his face was close to mine. "Because I will be very sad." He frowns.
"That's between the two of you, I'm just a victim here," I play along, shrugging. Harry laughs and places a firm kiss to my forehead before walking away, leaving me alone.
This waffle might just take his place.
* * *
After finishing my breakfast, now feeling at least 8 months pregnant, I take the tray downstairs. As I step off the last step, I hear hushed voices from the kitchen. It would be wrong of me to eavesdrop on the conversation, and quite frankly, I didn't care too much to put the effort in. I just wanted to put my dirty plate in the sink.
I enter into the kitchen and as soon as Harry's eyes land on me, he shuts up, his posture straightening. Jess, who was sitting on a stool at the bar, turns around with a confused expression on her face. Just as Harry did, she shuts up, plastering a smile on her face.
I make my way over to the sink, setting the plates and utensils into it, leaving the tray on the counter next to me. I hear Jess hop off her barstool, then footsteps approaching me.
I feel arms wrap around my shoulders before squeezing the life out of me. Jess then proceeds toâobnoxiouslyâsing happy birthday into my ear, swinging my body from side to side. I cringe as I feel my eardrums bursting. I look over, expecting Harry to be cringing as well, but he was laughing instead.
I mouth help me to him, but he doesn't budge. He continues to laugh at me as Jess hits a high note and I feel my brain bleeding. I raise up my middle finger, showing it to Harry, angry at him for not saving me from Jess's ear rape.
"Happy Birthday," Jess says, finishing off her song, placing a wet kiss to my temple.
"Can you let go of me?" I ask, my organs screaming for her to release me.
"Oh shit, yeah," she says, taking her arms away from me, "Sorry."