Chapter 32: Volume 3 - CH 10

“Did I look like I was harassing him?”

Valhail rolled the cigarette like a toy with his lengthy fingers.

His eyes shifted away from me and onto the night sky, as if he was uninterested.

“I don’t think I was doing anything like that. When you meet him, you may ask him yourself.”

“……”

“William used to be the outside guard commander, but now he’s my escort knight. He’ll be helpful and kind to you now since you’re working the same job he did before.”

His brows creased slightly for a brief minute.

His self-esteem seems to have been wounded in some way. I wasn’t sure which part of my statement had wounded his self-esteem.

“You, do you also smoke?”

To lighten his mood, I changed the conversation.

I approached him and reached out my hand, and he gently handed me the cigarette.

“It hasn’t been lit yet.”

As soon as I finished talking, Valhail snapped his fingers. The cigarette then miraculously lit.

My eyes widened at the magic I saw for the first time.

I saw and used magic in the monastery with the help of a magical stone, but I never saw or used any other kind of magic.

“Do you know how to use magic as well?”

“It’s spirit magic.”

I blinked a few times. Is it common for people to use spirit magic in this world?

‘This is my first time seeing it.’

I contemplated whether I should express my amazement at seeing the spirit magic for the first time, or simply say “I see” and move on.

For the first time in my life, I was uncertain how to respond.

“All I have control over is the spirit of fire. It would be troubling if other people knew that I could use it.”

“Ah, I see.”

I shook my head and nodded. Valhail’s response implied that using spirit magic was uncommon in this world.

I, who was holding the cigarette with great curiosity, frowned at the dizzying pungent smoke.

“……cough!”

My throat hurt outrageously when the red light scorched the tip of the cigarette and the smoke flashed over the tip of my nose.

I hurriedly handed Valhail the lengthy cigarette. Valhail quickly extinguished the fire and tossed it to the ground.

My eyes watered from the stench of the smoke.

Valhail went into the guard post and brought clean water and a towel.

“What’s that? The smell……cough! the smell is really no joke.”

“That’s a hemp cigarette.”

“Hemp cigarette?”

“I heard that…… it could relieve the anxiety.”

Then it means, it was a psychotropic drug.

“Did you buy it?”

“Someone gave it to me.”

The playfulness that had been around in my eyes disappeared in an instant.

It’s not bad to rely on drugs if he had a problem, but to think it’s a psychotropic drug……

“Valhail.”

I brushed my tears away and placed my hand on Valhail’s shoulder with tenderness.

Valhail didn’t take my hand away, even though he was startled.

“Do you have any problems that make you want to smoke stuff like this?”

“……”

“Tell me who’s bothering you.”

For a few minutes, he glanced at my hand on his shoulder before slowly turning his attention to me.

Between his lovely lips, a stifled voice escaped.

“Why did you come and see me?”

He sounded more like a lament than a question in the way he talked.

“Should I not come then?”

“But you don’t have any reason to come and meet me.”

“Can I then come if I have a reason?”

I gave him a sidelong glance.

Valhai’s neck moved, as if he was struggling to keep something from coming out.

“…… I’m leaving soon.”

“Huh?”

“I’m going to the war your uncle is preparing for.”

You’re going to leave such a comfortable place to go to a war?

‘Is he crazy? Why is he going there?’

How reckless do you want to treat your own body!?

“Are you talking about the war against the barbarians?”

“That’s right.”

I’m sure I understand why.

Even if Cedric didn’t tell me, I could guess what his plan was.

He was planning to leave Adrian as the Commander while he went to the war.

As expected.

“That war isn’t going to happen.”

Never.

Valhail did not question me throughout my confirmation.

I, on the other hand, was the one who wished to question him.

‘Why does he want to go to war?’

Does he have a bad relationship with the members of the White Eagle Knights?

Or did someone push him to go to the war?

“Anyway, if war breaks out, I’m leaving. Wherever it may be.”

“It appears that my uncle noticed a devoted talent. Even experienced knights wouldn’t dare to be deployed to the war wherever it is.”

I didn’t realize I was speaking in a sarcastic tone.

“Do you forget what you’ve promised me before? That you’re not going to get hurt anymore?”

“The wound heals quickly anyway. As long as I’m alive and alive, it’s fine.”

“What I said was to not get hurt.”

“It sounds like you’re worried about a knight who has yet to be appointed.”

I was concerned by such words. Valhail seems to be attempting to draw a strange line between us.

Don’t tell me…… did Shannon come looking for him already? Or Camilla?

“Did my mother perhaps come and meet you? Did she ask you to be Shannon’s escort knight already?”

Please don’t tell me… Did he become like this after met Shannon and fell for her? If so, that would be very disappointing.

“Did you come to ask about that?”

“Nope.”

I placed strength in my hand that was on his shoulder while blinking my eyes.

“I came to see your face.”

I meant it when I said it.

‘Ah, I should have brought a lantern.’

His curving shape was all I could see through the dim moonlight.

I was disappointed that I couldn’t appreciate his thick eyebrows, deep eyes, high nose bridge, and thick lips.

This is something I have to do frequently in order to maintain my strength in order to endure this tough life.

“……I will go to all the battles and wars as much as I can.”

“Are you possibly……?”

Valhail’s eyes automatically moved to me as I glanced at his face.

“……didn’t like it when I came to see you?”

His gloomy eyes flickered, like if they were looking right through me.

And I realized from his gazes, shaking painfully like candle light in the wind, that he would never give me any answer.

Valhail turned his head away from me, avoiding my gazes, and let out a quiet sigh, as I expected. Then he said something else.

“It suits you well.”

“What?”

“Face.”

“Ah, you mean my make-up looks well on me? Thank you.”

“……”

“It’s because my mother is looking for a marriage partner for me. She said my husband’s candidate is coming to see me tomorrow.”

Valhail’s chest fluttered wildly in response to my statements.

I kept talking while staring at his glittering blue eyes.

“She made a fuss saying that I should look pretty tomorrow.”

Valhail, who was as cold as ice, laughed in vain, claiming Camilla had done something pointless.

“It’s because you don’t know who the husband candidate is.”

“It must be a nobleman who is a good match for you.”

“His name is Count Grandson. Have you ever heard about him?”

“……”

“I heard that he’s already seventy years old.”

His face, which had been turned away, abruptly turned back to face me.

His stunning cobalt blue eyes shone stronger than ever.

“My mother wishes to sell me to that man at the highest price possible.”

Valhail’s eyes furrowed severely as he heard my calm response.

He was furious.

Somehow, looking at him like that made me happy.

One corner of my mouth was elevated.

“Aren’t you the family’s legitimate daughter?”

“That’s right.”

“Then why…… why are you getting such an unreasonable marriage?”

Valhail, who was seeking an acceptable term, picked ‘unreasonable marriage’ maybe because of my prestige.

But, even if it didn’t look to be, I was appreciative of his consideration.

More than that, he was the first person to become enraged for me.

“My father is no longer alive, and my present mother is in fact my stepmother.”

Of course, not all stepmothers are behave like Camilla.

“It appears like you are completely unaware of the situation.”

Heum, he seems to be getting along with his colleagues now that he’s been offered a hemp cigarette……

Or was it because he never heard anything about me from the White Eagle Knights?

However, he must have at least one White Eagle Knight by his side at all times.

‘Then does that mean my presence is that weak?’

I was slightly disappointed.

Didn’t William ever tell the other White Eagle Knight members about me?

“Didn’t any of the members ever mention me?”

“……They didn’t say anything about that.”

Then it meant they were talking about me.

“Then what were they talking about?”

I was interested as to what stories he had heard about me.

Valhail’s heavy lips moved slowly as I delicately wrinkled my forehead, as if urging him.

“It’s about…… how beautiful you are.”

Ohooooo…….

“About your little voice, your pale green eyes, your thin hands. Your golden hairs that flutter like a butterfly’s wing…… and the perfume that makes them flush whenever you walk by.”

His deep gaze traced my face and hair as he stated it.

“About how hard God worked to create all of you. Which is what makes you so beautiful, graceful, and stunning,”

“……”

“That’s all I’ve heard thus far. I’m not sure if they really mean it.”

He claimed to have heard such things, but it seemed to me like a passionate confession of his genuine feelings.

I was completely misled by those relentless gaze and his constrained words.

He openly complimented me.

Because I was embarrassed, I reacted calmly and as if nothing had happened.

“I don’t believe many people have ever seen me in person. Since I don’t get out that much.”

“That’s what they said.”

Valhail spoke quietly before averting his gaze once again.

Valhail, on the other hand, was never embarrassed or agitated, no matter what the circumstances were.

Even when he was pushed to his limits, he never complained or pleaded for help.

He even wanted to die in the Martial Arts Competition because he had lost his dignity and was being treated like a dog in a battle.

‘He has the impression of royalty……’

Valhail Castaques. A person whose surname is a country name.

I was interested in learning more about his background.

There’s a chance he’s a member of the Royal Family.

“So, what are your thoughts?”

As much as others claim.

Did he really think I am beautiful?

“Right now, I’m in front of you.”

I put my hand around his cheeks without hesitation. Valhail then carefully covered the back of my hand with his enormous hand.

“You……”

So delicately, his hand barely brushed mine.

In contrast to his longing gaze, he spoke in a sad tone.

“You’re not real for me.”