Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Sara waited anxiously with Clare at the cathedral trolley stop. It was another beautiful spring afternoon in the capital, but that fact did nothing to lighten the healer’s mood.

May and Pari arrived on a trolley with a number of other inmates and disembarked. Pari looked upset and confused. As for May...she was as angry as she had been the day Death Legion were killed.

The demon player stormed over with her companion in tow. “Why the fuck did you do it, you worthless bitch?!” May shouted. She was well inside Clare’s personal space. The tank flinched slightly, but said nothing. Some of the nearby trolley passengers stopped to observe the scene.

“May, please!” Sara shouted. “Let me explain what happened before you say anything else. ...Preferably somewhere a little less public.”

After belatedly noticing the onlookers, May nodded. The entire group walked north beside the nearby road, as no one else was heading in that direction. Once they had some relative privacy, they stopped. Sara proceeded to explain everything—starting with Clare’s parents, then Unique’s involvement, and moving on to company taking advantage of the situation. Only after all that was done did she summarize the events of the fight and its aftermath.

“And after that you trusted her enough to finish the quest?” May finally asked incredulously.

“Yes. I’m completely convinced Clare’s epiphany was genuine. Not only did she spare my life, but afterward she fought to protect me with absolute determination. I know this a lot to take in. But I’ve forgiven Clare, and since I was the victim of the attack I hope you’ll respect that decision.”

“You weren’t the only one hurt by what happened,” May pointed out. “Pari was terrified. I was terrified. And can you imagine what your family will go through when they see what happened on our show?”

Sara had been so preoccupied, that last had not occurred to her. “You’re right, of course. But that doesn’t change my feelings.”

May paused to consider. “Thanks for explaining everything. I wouldn’t wanna make this decision without all the facts.”

Sara nodded to her, and May looked to Clare before continuing. “You’re dead to me. We are never working together again.” Pari seemed unable to speak due to the tension. Clare looked ashamed, but did not reply.

“But why?” Sara asked.

“Even if I did believe she’s sincere right now, who’s to say something doesn’t set her off later? She’s emotionally unstable. And she’s never made any secret of her dislike for me, so maybe I’d be her next target. And all of this casts doubt on her explanation for her crime too—maybe she just killed that guy ’cause he pissed her off.”

“I realize you have no reason to believe me—” Clare began.

May immediately cut her off. “You’re right. So let’s save us all from experiencing the garbage that was about to seep outta that diseased brain of yours.”

“May! At least let her speak in her own defense.” Sara begged.

Pari finally managed to softly interject. “I want to hear what she has to say for herself.” Sara felt badly, putting someone with social anxiety in a situation like this. But it was unavoidable.

“What I did was horrible, and completely inexcusable,” Clare said. “May...your reaction makes more sense to me than Sara’s does. I don’t know why she’s continued to be so kind to me when I’ve done nothing to deserve it. And I can’t deny that I’m emotionally damaged—‘diseased’ is as good a word as any.

“But please believe this much—my only wish is to try to make up for what I’ve done. Even though it’s impossible, I’ll never give up. Harming Sara, or anyone she cares about, is exactly the opposite of what I want.

“Even if it’s worth next to nothing, I’m sorry. Pari, I apologize to you as well. That both of you had to know I was trying to murder Sara, without the ability to intervene... I put you through an unspeakably cruel experience.

“And assuming any of Sara’s family or friends on the outside end up watching this conversation—the same applies to you. I am so sorry.”

Once again, Sara’s heart was broken by the depth of Clare’s guilt. It was at least a hopeful sign to see her reaching out to the others instead of holding them at a distance. Pari, who teared up slightly, seemed willing to take what had been said at face value.

May appeared unmoved, so Sara decided to try another argument. “You’ve trusted my judgment in the past. Please weigh it fairly now.”

Sara was shocked when some of May’s anger was focused on her. “Always the diplomat, aren’t you? Guess what—I don’t trust your judgment when it comes to watching out for yourself. All you do is sacrifice and push yourself too hard. I’ve only known you a month and it’s blindingly obvious.

“Why are you the only one who has to go to work after dungeons and practice?”

Sara started to respond, but May cut her off. “It was a rhetorical question—I’ve heard your argument before. It’s so reasonable. You’re always so damn reasonable.

“Why is it perfectly fine for Pari to consider not fighting, when you’d never even think to allow yourself the same luxury? By your own admission you hate the idea of killing, so it’s not like you’re the ideal candidate for this life.

“Why did you have to waste your whole childhood frantically studying in hopes of healing the sick? Why did you have to go to that protest, even knowing your politics would make a fair trial impossible if you got arrested?

“And why did you decide to let Clare kill you, even knowing what it would do to the people who care about you?

“...I can tell you the answer to all these questions, and more! Sara Takahashi is the all-loving hero! She’s gonna save the world! She’s gonna sacrifice everything to help everyone!

“And if you suffer for that help, it doesn’t matter to you. But it does matter to the people who care about you. Stop being so damn arrogant.”

Sara teared up slightly and looked away. She could not easily refute that criticism.

“That’s enough!” Clare said angrily. “She’s been through enough without you being cruel to her.”

“I’m just trying to make her reconsider her martyr-in-training attitude before it gets her killed,” May complained.

“No, Clare’s right,” Pari said. Sara looked up and saw that the mage was distraught. “Please don’t be so mean.”

This gave May pause. She looked to Sara once more. “Sorry. I should’ve made my point without being so harsh.”

“It’s all right...emotions are running a little high right now. I’ll admit that I’m a little obsessed with my goals. But I don’t have any desire to be a martyr—I’d rather live for a cause than die for one. And I didn’t let Clare hurt me out of some abstract desire to help everyone. ...She’s someone I care about, and that’s what broke me.”

Clare looked away briefly. Sara had of course noticed that anything positive she said about the other woman made her uncomfortable. But the healer was not going to let her friend’s feelings of self-recrimination go unopposed.

“Fine,” May said. “I can understand your choice, even if I don’t condone it. But her...” She glanced briefly toward Clare. “...I’m done with her. My decision is final.

“Sara, Pari—you both have to decide. Me or her. It’s not our friendship on the line. The three of us are good either way. But you can only work with one of us.”

“You should take some time—” Sara began before May interrupted her.

“Don’t need it.”

“Fine. I won’t ignore your decision, but I don’t consider it final. I’m going to bring this up again after you’ve had some time to reconsider.

“For now, I don’t think you’re making a fair decision. So I’m standing by Clare.” Both Clare and May looked surprised. The latter also seemed hurt. But if Sara had to cause some harm now to reach the best outcome later, she would do so.

Everyone looked to Pari expectantly. After some hesitation, she spoke. “I don’t want to break up the party. And even if I’m not the best judge of character, Clare does seem sincere to me. So I forgive her too. But I also can’t stand the thought of May ending up alone when she isn’t the one who did anything wrong. ...I’m sorry, Sara.”

Sara nodded. She sympathized with Pari’s reasoning, but she worried the choice would make it harder to bring May around.

“Thanks,” May said with obvious relief.

The cathedral’s bells began ringing. “I was hoping to go to this mass,” Pari said uncertainly.

“Then let’s finish up here.” May said.

Sara’s HUD, which had been closed up until now, opened automatically due to an important notification.

This was followed by the same notice from Pari. May and Pari then combined into their own party. Since it did not yet have a name, the party entry just read on May’s nameplate.

“Let’s all meet for PvP practice with the Rough Riders tomorrow,” Sara suggested to the group. She then again focused on May. “I know you’re not willing to adventure with Clare. But do you want to lose the benefit of being able to practice with one of the best swords-women in the game?”

“...I suppose not.”

“I’ll see you all tomorrow then,” Pari said.

“Take care,” Sara replied. Clare and May acknowledged the mage with a nod before she hurried toward the cathedral.

“Guess I’ll see you tonight, if we’re still rooming together?” May asked Sara hesitantly.

“Of course,” she said with a reassuring smile. May walked off toward the trolley stop.

Once the remaining two magical girls were alone, Clare spoke. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault this happened.”

“Don’t worry. This didn’t go as well as I’d hoped...but it did go better than I expected. And that’s thanks to you—you were completely open with them. It couldn’t have been easy.”

“I owed them that much.”

Sara nodded, and then sighed. “Anyway, it seems that for once we don’t have any plans for the day. Do you want to do anything together?”

“We could get some practice in?”

“Okay. After that, we could go for a walk in the park by the castle. And maybe try out our new radio?” Even with all that had happened, Sara was still excited about that last.

“I’d like that.” For once, Clare was unambiguously positive. It was yet another hopeful sign.