Today was an off day. I had spent most of the night dreaming about my parents...and the night they died. Images flashed through my mind as I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to keeping myself relaxed. The teacher was dredging on about the industrial revolution, his voice monotone. I should have skipped class with Roxie and the others but I had promised Lucinda I wouldn't do that anymore.
I knew I was making things hard on her but she just didn't understand the things that I had to live with in the dark recesses of my mind. I didn't want her to know. If she knew the truth I knew would would both be in danger. The sound of a book slamming on a desk had me jolt back, and my eyes snapping open in shock.
I wasn't in the classroom anymore...the panic swelling in my chest as my mind replayed the night that had left it's scar on me in more ways then one.
I crashed through the front door of my house after a weekend of partying with my friends. All I wanted to do was throw myself across my bed and sleep for the next ten hours. I threw my keys down on the table, "Mom. Dad. I'm homeâ" I called out into the dimly lit house. I practically dragged my body toward stairs, "I know it's late but Jamie got a flat tire so we had to call for a tow because she didn't have a spare..."
I leaned against the rail as I waited for an acknowledgment of my presence. As I stood there waiting I caught something strange out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head toward the scene and my heart seemed to hammer in my chest. Our usually immaculate house looked as though a tornado had ripped through it. My mother was a bit of a perfectionist when it came to the house, there was no way she would allow it to look as it currently did.
I swallowed hard as a feeling of dread came and wrapped itself around me like a heavy blanket. My eyes turned from the mess toward the stairs again, "MomâDad..." I called out my voice less confident than it had been. Before I knew it my feet were carrying my up the stairs, my shaky hand gripping the rail tightly for support. It was hard to hear anything other than my heart which was beating erratically. My ears picked up a subtle creaking of our old hardwood floors. Something that I had gotten me caught sneaking out on numerous occasions. Suddenly I was taking the steps two at a time racing towards the sound, "Dad! Mom!"
My shoes slipped on the floor as I charged off the top step towards their bedroom. Their door was slightly ajar and the erie silence that echoed through the house caused a shiver to race through me. I slowed my speed as I approached the door and reached out with a trembling hand, pushing it completely open.
There was a sudden intake of air into my lungs. My ears were ringing loudly and my mind seemed to be screaming but nothing came out of my mouth. My mother was draped haphazardly across the destroyed bed her clothes and skin a tattered mess. Blood was pooled around her body standing out on the white comforter. It was splattered across the walls as if someone had flung it there with a paint brush. I stared at her body waiting for it to move but she was still as a statue. Her usual bright green eyes were now clouded staring off into the distance, unseeing.
A shudder rushed through my body as if it was coming back to life. My knees gave out and I fell to the ground, gasping for air. A scream tore from my lungs as my eyes connected with the body of my father. I scrambled backwards in terror at the sight of how his body was lying about the floor in dismembered pieces. What kind of monster could do something like this? My thoughts shut down at the sound of an inhuman growling.
A beast stepped out of the darkness of my parents en suite bathroom, blood coating its muzzle. The dark cinnamon color of its fur stood out against white walls. My mind told me it was a canine but it was far too beastly to be a normal dog. It's eyes seemed to have a human intelligence to them that startled me. Its head cocked to the side and it closed its eyes as it lifted its nose into the air as if it was smelling something. It's eyes snapped back open and focused on me, glowing pools of amber.
It's a demon, my mind shouted at me. A demon that had readied itself to hunt its next prey. Survival instincts claimed my mind and my body was wretched up from the ground. My feet slipped across the floor as I bolted towards the front door.
A nasty snarl tore through the silence and I knew the beast would chase me. I had seen the blood lust in it's eyesâit wanted me dead. My foot caught on a step and I was sent tumbling down toward the first floor. I groaned when I hit the floor with a loud smack. I shook my head as I pulled myself up off the ground ignored the haziness of my mind and limped quickly towards the door. A sharp pain raced through my ankle as the beast sunk its teeth into my flesh and pulled me back down to the floor. I kicked out with my free leg and nailed it in the face a couple times before it released me with an angry whimper. I dragged myself towards the door as quickly as I could. A loud screech tore from my lips when I felt the beast lunge at me its sharp claws tearing through the flesh as they raked across my back.
I leapt up from my chair everyone in the classroom looking to me as I had lost my mind.
"Mrs. Cartwright?" Mr. Donovan adjusted his glasses as my eyes flitted around the room, my breathing sharp and quick. My mind was screaming at me to run just like it had that night. I snatched my bag off of my chair and rushed from the room, shouting an apology. I moved through the empty hallway, cutting my way to the bathroom I knew had the least amount of traffic.
All the while my mind was under attack from memories I had done my best to suppress.
I sat in the back of the ambulance, staring off blankly into the mass flow of officers and reporters trying to get a look at the bloody scene. The paramedic was cleaning up the wounds on my back. They had told me how lucky I was that my neighbor had heard my screams. Old Mr. Guthnery had scared of my attacker with his shot gun as he burst in through my front door.
I didn't feel lucky. I felt numb and hollow. My gaze shifted to the small group of detectives that stood nearby, something about them seemed off to me. It struck a chord deep down in side of me, had my ears focusing to pick out there voices amongst all the others.
"Did you talk with Alastair? This is a mess we can't afford the humans sniffing around. It needs to be handled with the utmost delicacy. Since it was near his land his pack have first priority in handling it." The older male spoke with a gruff tone to the tall female on his right.
"He said that he had his people handling the media coverageâhe has a few men on the police force luckily they responded to the call and were the first ones on the scene." She replied in soft hushed tone. There was a low rumble that reminded me of a growl...I tensed recalling the same sound resonating from the beast that had tried to kill me.
"Grady was one of my best friends growing up. He was a damn good fighter. I don't know how he got done in like that. This is one fucking tragedy, that's what this is." The other male grumbled, his back to me. I wanted to get a look at him, the one claiming to be my father's best friend...I hadn't known he's even had those.
"You know I don't like that language, Darcy!' The female hissed at him.
"Sorry, Margery âI just can't believe Grady is actually gone." The stranger stated apologetically. It was weird having someone talk about my dad so intimately because my father had never mentioned having any close friends or family. Any family I ever saw had been my mothers but that had stopped a few years back as well.
"I know..." She replied in a soothing tone as if she is trying to comfort the man.
"Does the girl remember anything about the attack?" The older detective jumped back into the conversation. I tensed up at his question, because I knew he was referring to me. I focused my eyes on my hands which were resting in my lap. I could feel the heat of their eyes on me but I tried to keep from showing any emotions.
"If by girl you mean my our niece..." She growled almost protectively before answering further, "If she does, she didn't let onto it when they questioned her." Niece? These people were my family? I was tempted to look again but the fear kept me from doing so.
"Well, what's your opinion than?' He asked impatiently.
"I think that she went through something traumatic and wants to forget butâ" she paused for a moment, "When I look in her eyes I can tell that she is hiding something."
I heard someone calling my name as I pushed into the bathroom, hot tears streaming down my face. I pulled my bag in front of me hand digging through the pocket to find my little happy pills. They took me away from the pain and the panic, or at least dulled them until they were only a whisper in the wind.
"Beth?" Roxie came into the bathroom shortly after me, while I was struggling to get the lid off of the pill bottle. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and my vision was already beginning to blur. Bitter tears streaming down my cheeks as she came quickly to my side, swearing under her breath as she took the pill bottle from my hands, "Here let me help you..."
I didn't try to stop her, instead I pressed my palms to my thighs--doing my best to air into my lungs.
She popped the lid off, face scrunching up with disgust as she peered down at the bottle in her hand. I held my shaky hand towards her, "Roxie..." I rasped out her name in a demanding tone. I needed my medication. I couldn't handle the suffocating feeling in my chest and the rushing of my blood through my ears. I was on the edge of tearing at my skin in desperation to release the pain that was clogging up my body. Her eyes met mine for a moment, giving me a pinched expression as if she was displeased by something but at the moment I couldn't find the energy to give a fuck. I was on the verge of shattering, all the pieces of my being vibrating with all the emotions that I had been pushing down.
I watched with wide eyes as  she tipped it towards my hand, the pill bottle slipping from Roxie's fingers, falling through the air and crashing into the sink. One by one the pills slipped down the drain, leaving behind nothing but the empty orange prescription canister.
"Opps..." She said in a tone that seemed less than apologetic.
I reached into the sink picking it up with a shaky hand. The panic that I had been feeling moments before was gone. All I felt was the heavy beating of my heart in my chest as my mind tried to come to terms with what had just happened. I had been doing my best to stretch out my medication, waiting for the attacks that I couldn't simply breath through.
"Those pills weren't helping you. It's just another way for people to keep you under there control. Trust me. You'll be much better off without that shit." Her hand patted me on the back.
I tensed under the touch, "And you're a fucking doctor suddenly?" I hissed at her through my teeth. I was grinding them together so hard that I was afraid that I might not have any more teeth by the time I left the bathroom.
"Come on, Beth. It was an accident." She threw her hands up a bit, still wearing a slight grin. I wanted to wipe the confident look off of her face. From the moment I had met her she had been pressing her will on me. It was like she enjoyed playing games with people, and got upset with anyone who challenged her. If she thought that I was going to be one of her little followers because she had tried to make for feel special, and accepted as the weird new girl than she had picked the wrong person.
I narrowed my eyes, "Was it?" gripping the edge of the porcelain sink a little harder. My fingertips were aching and my knuckles burned white with how hard I was trying to hold back the surging emotions boiling up inside of me.
There was a pause, "Are you calling me a liar, Beth?" Her light tone was lost.
"It's Mary-beth." I let out an animalistic sound as I spun to face her, unable to contain my anger any longer. I could only imagine how I looked to her as I came at her with all that I was. I pushed her back into the tiled wall with my arm pressed against her throat, my body shaking with the force of my emotions. There were so many things that I had been keeping buried down beneath the surface and this was the moment I let myself snap. I should have expected that it would have happened sooner rather than later. Roxie didn't seem all that upset by my reaction, eyes catching the light for a moment--sparking up with an amber glow, "feel better?" She questioned me in a flat tone.
I clenched my teeth together, breathing heavily as I tried to reign in my darker urges, "I'd feel better if everyone would just leave me the fuck alone...You don't get to play with people's lives because you're bored, Roxie. You're no better than Avery and her lemmings. I'm not some kind of pawn to use in your guys struggle for power." I pushed away from her, body still shaking.
Mae came into the bathroom, glancing warily between the two of us, "Is everything okay? Everyone was worried when you ran of like you did..."
Roxie and I never broke eye contact, both of us breathing heavily the air between us charged with energy. A tingle of anticipation raced up my spine as we squared off like two predators meeting in the wild in a game of dominance. I had never been one to assert myself over other people or try to cause trouble. I had moved through most of my life like a ghost, unseen and unheard. The only people who had seemed to ever care what I thought or tried to see the world through my eyes had been my family...and now I barely had that.
Roxie's lips twitched before she looked away, expression relaxing into one of ease as if nothing had happened, "Yeah, everything is fine. Beth just needed some help...but I took care of it. Isn't that right?" She glanced toward me expectantly, awaiting my response.
I snatched my bag up off the floor, slipping the strap over my head, "Yeah...whatever you say." I walked away, brushing past Mae in a hurry to get out of the cramped bathroom. I met the eyes of Roxie's little gang, the guys looking at me with silent curiosity. I shrugged my shoulder as I ducked my head and hurried off in the opposite direction. I wanted to be alone. I just couldn't understand why people were struggling to understand that.