19 | Sisters

I stared at myself in the mirror, the sound of the shower running in the background like white noise. I lifted my hand slowly and wiped at the dirt smeared across my cheek. This was my face, I looked completely unchanged but I knew I was different. Deep down, the creature lurked. I could feel her inside of me. It was like an itch that crawled up and over my skin. It made me feel antsy, like my finger was resting on the trigger of a gun. I watched my eyes flash amber for a moment and I closed them quickly, heart beating a little faster.

I was afraid of what I had become, and the urges that mingled with my own. I felt dangerous, like at any moment I would become that beast again and go on a killing rampage. The knock on the store startled me from my thoughts, "Who is it?" My voice came out a croaked and hoarse.

"I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. You've been in there for a while..." Lucinda spoke in a gentle voice, "Do you mind if I come in?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, right now..." I waited for a moment, debating what I should do. Callum had told me that I had to be extra cautious around my sister. That she was fragile in comparison to me now. I needed to control my urges, that at times might want me to hurt people, especially if they upset me. The creature didn't think like a human. It thought like a predator, and now so did I. It was hard to translate everything.

"Please, Mary-Beth..." I felt my heart clench at the pleading tone. I couldn't stop myself from leaning over and twisting the lock on the door. A moment later she was entering the room, sliding in through a small crack she had created for herself. I was suddenly overwhelmed by the smell of her. I could practically taste her fear, a strong spicy aroma that burned at my nose. I made sure to take a step back to put more space between us, hoping to make her feel a little more at ease.

"You don't have to be afraid of me..." I found myself saying, though I didn't know if I believed it.

Lucinda looked a little shocked by my comment, "I'm not afraid of you."

My brows furrowed, "I can smell it on you." No one would ever be able to lie to me again. The creature had taken away that façade of the world.

"Right..." She cleared her throat, casting her eyes to her hands that were pulling at the hem of her shirt, "I'm not afraid of you, but I am afraid of what this all means for you, for us." She lifted her gaze to my face, brows drawn together and lips turned down in a slight frown. Her words caused some of the tension in my body to fade away. I should have known that Lucinda would be worrying about all the wrong things.

"Cal said that I can still live a normal life, once I learn to control...it..." I felt my cheeks rush with heat as I tried to explain my new predicament. It was almost as painfully awkward as the first time I got my period, "He said that he would teach me how."

Lucinda gave me a tight-lipped smile at my words. I could tell that she wasn't overly excited about the idea of Callum being around but I knew I needed him. Plus, I knew now that he was the man who had saved me in the woods. I felt a kinship with him that seemed to override a lot of things. He explained to me that it was because our creatures were social. They thrived on the structure of being in a group or pack, as he had called it. He had tried to explain it to me after I had come to in my own body once more. It was a lot to take in, for many reasons.

"Well I'm just happy you're okay. I was so afraid that I was going to lose you, too." I noticed the glistening in her eyes as she turned her face away from me. I knew she wanted to be strong for me, but I could see that she was drowning as much as I was. I couldn't block out the world like I had been. I was aware of every subtle undercurrent of emotions, all of my senses operating on a level far beyond the average person.

I reached up and rubbed at my arm, clearing my throat, "I'm going to be okay. It's just going to take some time to adjust to...everything." My brow furrowed as I thought about the road ahead of me. There was so much that I didn't know and so much behind me that had been hidden. I wasn't sure who Mary-Beth even was. My father and mother had kept such a large piece of who I was hidden. I had to believe they had a reason.

Lucinda nodded her head, biting her lip in a nervous fashion, "You aren't mad at me for keeping you in the dark, are you?"

I blinked at her, thinking over her question. I had been angry at her for a lot of things but I understood why she had kept this specific secret. It was the same reason why I hadn't told her what had actually happened to our father. I had wanted to protect her from the truth because the truth was ugly and I thought the alternative was much easy to stomach. Lucinda already had so much on her plate, having the responsibility of caring for me suddenly thrust upon her. I hadn't been making it easy for her either. I guess in the end, we were more similar than I wanted to believe.

"I understand why you did it. We're good, Luce."

She visibly relaxed, "I'm glad. I guess I should let you get back to your shower...we can talk more later."

"Wait...Lucinda, there's something I need to tell you..."

Lucinda turned back to me with lifted brows, "What's up?"

"About dad..."

Her expression dropped at my words, "What about him?" I could smell the subtle shift of her emotions, anger. She felt like he had lied to us and I understood the sentiment. Still, I trusted he had a good reason for it, just like Lucinda. Perhaps, he had been trying to protect us in the best way he knew how.

"The night they died...It wasn't a car accident." It felt odd to be speaking the truth after so many lies.

Her eyes narrowed, "What do you mean it wasn't a car accident?"

I shifted on my feet, "I had gone out with my friends. When I got back home it was late and I was still buzzing. I found them in their bedroom...torn to pieces..." The images flashed through my mind and I felt the panic again as I was back there. The beast snarled and flashed its teeth. I felt the desire to fight, to tear into something, to protect myself from the danger.

"Mary-Beth..." Lucinda whispered my name, bringing my focus back to her. She was staring at me with wide eyes.

I swallowed my emotions, pushing back on the creature that now shared my mind and body, "There was a werewolf there, or at least that's what I think now. I thought that I was going to die , Lucinda. If it wasn't for Mr. Gunthrey and his shot gun...I'm sure I probably would be dead."

"I don't understand, dad died in a car accident. The police..."

"It was all staged, Lucinda. The policemen on the scene were werewolves, too. They came to clean up the mess and keep people quiet." It felt good to be rid of the secret. The weight it had put on me was suddenly gone. I watched her mouth snap shut, muscle ticking as she clenched her teeth. I knew it was a lot to take in. I only hoped she would understand why I had kept the truth from her.

She turned her face away from me, "I can't believe this..."

"I know should have told you the truth sooner, but I didn't know how or if you would even believe me." I searched her profile. The truth was she carried a deep likeness to our father. The same dark hair and sharp chin. Sometimes when she would meet my gaze I would see the curiosity that had always been a light in our father's eyes.

She turned her gaze toward me, sorrow, anger, and regret etched on the canvas of her face, "You've been dealing with this all on your own, this whole time?"

I nodded my head, tears slipping down my cheeks. I sucked in a sharp breath as Lucinda reached out and pulled me into her arms, holding me tight to her chest. The beast growled at the sudden invasion into our space. I inhaled deeply, taking in the essence of Lucinda. It was a scent that I had known since I was a child, its undertones had changed but overall, this Lucinda was still like the Lucinda from before.

I contemplated what I should say next, as I burrowed my face into her, "I know that I can be a pain and I haven't really thanked you properly for everything you've done for me..." I found the words difficult to say, there was so much still unsettled between us.

She rubbed small soothing circles on my back, "I know. I love you, too. But no more secrets, okay?"

"Nomore secrets..." I repeated back as I wrapped my arms around her and we bothcried together, healing some of the distance that had been between us.