We drove through the night, well Cal did, I slept most of the trip. As uncomfortable as the seat was it ended up being the most restful sleep I had in days. When I opened my eyes we were crossing into the city limits of Sunnyvale. The familiar surroundings had me sitting up straight, rubbing at my eyes to wipe away what was left of my sleep. It wasn't a dream. We really were back where my journey with Mary-Beth had begun.
"What are we doing here?" I asked, turning to look at Cal. He didn't appear as though he had driven all night. Instead, rather unfairly, he looked almost angelic with the sun shining in on him, and the crisp air flowing through the cracked window, ruffling his hair. All this made me very aware of the stale taste in my mouth, my more than likely serious bedhead, and the fact that I hadn't showered in nearly twenty-four hours after working at ten hour shift.
He cast a quick glance in my direction. My cheeks grew hot and I did my best to comb my fingers through my hair to make myself more--well just more.
"Good morning to you too," he said, before flipping on the blinker and taking the first exit, Old Lupin Road. This road didn't lead into the city like the others. Instead it lead to a small district just on the limit of Sunnyvale. It was apparently the original settlement, filled with old houses and even older money. Most of the people that lived out here wanted the comforts of small town living with all the amenities of being in a city.
When I was in high school it was the place we came to party. The wildlife reservation was about a mile south of the Lupin residential area. I had some pretty wild times in those woods, but near the end of my senior year the park rangers and local law enforcement cracked down on things, and we had to find a safer place to throw our stupid parties. Now, that I was sitting next to Cal and I knew the things I knew... "So they weren't elitist pricks, after all. They were werewolves."
Cal looked at me, lips twitching. "They could be both. Humans don't own the market on elitist pricks."
"Funny," I said with a roll of my eyes. Turning my gaze back to the window. The road was windy, carving a path through the wilderness. Trees crowded in on the highway,threatening to overtake it in areas. "So, why are we here?"
"Mary-Beth mentioned where she grew up a several weeks, and with the knowledge of circumstances surrounding your fathers death I thought it might be worth looking into considering. So I made a few calls." His response was so matter of fact. Everything that Cal did was a matter of fact. He didn't try to dress things up with pretty words. Things just were exactly what they were. Which I was coming to appreciate.
"So we're here to investigate my father's death." Saying it out loud was strange. It made my stomach flutter in a way that made a person unsure if they might throw up.
"Well, that's one reason."
I turned to Cal. "And the other?"
He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, knuckles going white momentarily. "To make sure we have a back-up plan for if things don't go favorably."
My insides turned cold at his carefully spoken statement. With the quiet of the past several weeks I had been able to put the issue with Bradford to the back of my mind. Hope had begun to sneak in. Maybe he was going to leave it alone. But I had known from the moment I found out about werewolves that things were never going to end well. Hoping for different was naive.
"Let's hear it, then."
"Hear what?"
I pursed my lips. "Don't play dumb. Not now."
"I'm hoping to get the Alpha's agreement to take you and Mary-Beth on as probationary members of his pack. It'll be easier with Mary-Beth I suspect. Her mother was likely a member of this pack and that will buy her some favor."
He was talking about us getting out of Twin Peaks. And While it was all I had been hoping for, a part of me felt contrary to the thought of leaving.
"It might be harder to get him to agree to take in a half-blood, but our people believe strongly in family - in the pack. So your connection to Mary-Beth might be your ticket in."
"And if he doesn't agree to take me too?"
Cal was quiet for a moment. "We'll figure out another way."
But I had a feeling there wouldn't be another way. If it came down to it, Mary-Beth's life was more important. "Cal, if this Alpha won't take me to, you still have to do it. Mary-Beth is the one who matters. Everything I've done has been for her. So, promise me..."
"I promise." He cut me off, voice sharp. "But it won't come to that."
I wasn't sure if he was saying that comfort himself or me. not that it mattered because it gave me nothing. Silence enveloped the car until it was a thick miasma.It coated my skin and made it hard to breathe.
"Don't worry. This just a contingency plan," he said firmly.
"Right." My voice sounded thick, caught somewhere in the back of my throat. "Just a contingency."
Suddenly Cal's hand was wrapped around my own. It surprised me, and was exactly what I found myself needing at the moment. Something to anchor me, remind where I was. He was like the sun, the warmth of his skin nearly uncomfortable against mine. "You need to have a little more faith in me Lucinda. It's starting to get a bit insulting."
"As if you could be insulted."
He leaned forward and coughed out a laugh. I wished that I could laugh, but my mind was too focused on the all possible outcomes of the things to come. I wondered if this was the reason why my father had hid the truth from us, because of the tragedy that this world was steeped in. How funny that we had ended up here anyway, despite his attempts to keep us from it. Somehow I had taken the wrong step. Not that that was unusual. I was always taking the wrong step.
"Lucinda," Cal called me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I glanced in his direction. His eyes were focused on me and they held me in their determined glow. "You don't have to keep taking this on like you're all alone. You're not alone. Not anymore."
Not alone?
I blinked and looked away from him. My whole life that was how I felt. Sure, my father was there and Mary-Beth for a while. But it was like I was always standing a foot away, an invisible barrier keeping me from getting any closer. I never felt apart of the flow. I was always separate - I was there but I was separate, other. It made sense to me now. Being half werewolf had left me as a permanent outsider.
"You can trust me," Cal said softly into the silence, it was like he knew my inner thoughts. That barrier that stood between me and the rest of the world, seemed to disappear whenever Cal was near. Maybe that's why he scared me so much. Maybe that's why I fought him at every turn. "I won't leave you alone."
My heart and my lungs seized for a moment, a blink of my eye. I could picture a world with Cal. A life that wasn't filled with fear. One where secrets didn't sit in every dark corner. A place where we were both free to be exactly who we were and just live the way we wanted.
Then I breathed, and the possibility was gone. That wasn't the world we lived in and hoping for something like that was naive. It was better to focus on the reality of things as they stood. He couldn't make any promises when all our futures were so uncertain, no matter how much faith he had in himself.
I stared down at our hands, not sure what to say or if I wanted to say anything at all. It seemed almost natural to be holding his hand, like we had done it a hundred times before. There was something unspoken between us, it lingered like a lost thought on the tip of the tongue. It had been nagging at the back of my mind since the moment we met.
I should let go or pull away. It would be dangerous to pursue this thing any further, whatever it was. He was a werewolf and I was human. Still, I found myself intertwining my fingers through his, the tension in my shoulders easing. He gave my hand a light squeeze, and I knew If I turned he would be smiling. I focused my gaze on the window and the green trees that blurred together as we drove by.
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A/N: Sorry for the heavier emotions in this chapter, but we are nearing the end of things now.
Also, I wanted to thank everyone who has stuck with me through this story. I'm working rather diligently to complete it and enter into the Wattys. :-)