CENSORED 30: KEIRA

It’s Monday. That means we’re going to get some quality Ainsley time. She’s been purposely avoiding us for a month. I try not to take it personally, and I know it’s more about Luke than the rest of us, but this girl is made for the Fighting Sect. I hate to see her wasting so much time at the Ward.

Frank has taken on the position of orchestrator, coming up with increasingly funky suggestions often leading to bloodshed in an attempt to get Ainsley to train with us. I’m with her at the projectile station trying a more diplomatic approach, one less prone to unfortunate side effects, but Frank is Frank.

“Hey Skittles!” Frank whoops. “I figured out who hurt your dad!”

“Oh yeah?” she roars back, moving in that direction with purpose in her steps saying there’s going to be glorious violence. “Who freaking did it?”

Maverick raises his hand.

The very first time Ainsley went supernova she kicked Maverick off her. He collided with her dad, who inadvertently fell on a glass Ainsley had tossed and broken. Bert winded up with about eight stitches over it. Somehow we’ve all managed to evade the fallout until now. Frigging Frank.

Ainsley throat-punches Maverick before I can even make it over there. The pained look on his face unleashes a wave of protective fire in me. “If you really want someone to blame for that, blame your-frigging-self!” I erupt. “You’re the squib who misfired.”

Surprisingly, she apologizes to Maverick instead of backdrafting. “I have a short freaking fuse. That was out of line. I’m really sorry for being such a squib. You get a free punch.”

“It’s okay,” Maverick wheezes.

She leans in as an offering while holding her hands together at her back, just in case she can’t resist her desire to counter.

He shakes his head, refusing her offer. “You’re forgiven.”

“Well, somebody better hit me, or we’re getting salty balls all done here today,” she fires back.

Frank, ever the helpful lad, hauls off and punches her right in the jaw, launching her across the floor. “Frank!” everyone yells at once.

Ainsley staggers to her feet spitting out a mouthful of blood. The look of terror in Frank’s eyes makes me wonder if he might’ve finally learned a lesson. But she doesn’t roar at him at all. She grabs his hand and proceeds to jam his fingers in her mouth. When she hauls them out, they’re covered in blood.

“Did any of those ball biters feel loose to you?” she asks sincerely before cracking up with laughter.

“Come on, Skittles.” Frank turns his back to her and pats his shoulders. “Let’s go see if a nurse can sort out that sauce shooter of yours.”

“Giddy-the-heck-up,” she orders him after jumping onto his back. He jogs her over to the table at the front of the arena.

“That worked well,” Aspen vents.

Luke smiles.

“What the dark’s even wrong with you?” Maverick slags. “How can you be smiling at that?”

“The fire was back in her eyes again,” he foams dreamily.

“Let’s maybe get it directed at the right person next time, yeah?” Maverick scowls. “No more sacrificial lambs.”

“I told them it was a bad idea,” Aspen vogs.

“She’s a hot frigging mess,” I crackle. “I have a little crush on her.”

“Speaking of crushes…” Maverick points toward Callen’s group, but it isn’t Callen he’s directing our attention to. It’s Esha. She’s staring over at us with purpose, not even having the decency to pretend she isn’t.

“If she eye-squirts you any harder, Boss, you’re gonna wind up pregnant,” Aspen shockwaves.

Maverick rumbles his agreement.

“She doesn’t want me,” Luke breakwaters. “She made that quite clear.”

“I think you’re wrong in this instance,” I bubble. “If you want her back, I can help you.”

“Scud right off. I don’t want her back!” he whitecaps.

“Well, your residual anger and lack of steering your rudder in any other direction calls backburn on your lying stern.”

It isn’t that I want Luke back with Esha. I actually hate her as much as I’m likely to hate anyone for what she did to him, what she broke in him. I just want him to let her go so he can let someone else in. I’d hoped that someone else was Ainsley, but if it isn’t, anyone at this point is better than being stuck with the shucked out shell Esha left us to deal with.

As for Ainsley, she and Luke have been playing this stupid game for a month. I see how they look at each other. I know desire when I see it. I live and breathe it. Yet, they’re just frozen in this place where they bicker if they’re ever around each other, or Ainsley simply avoids us to avoid Luke. I’m sick and tired of it. So, I’m pushing the issue. Either they’ll smarten up or be wet flints and move on from the possibility. I’m all out of bated breaths to take. And, frankly, I’m throwing both their pits in a volcano if their stupidity hurts one of my boyfriends again.

“She chose a different path. There’s no place for her with me anymore,” Luke scuppers.

It’s the first time he’s managed to express his feelings without the weight of anger behind them. It’s nice. Maybe it isn’t the response I was aiming for, but it’s something in the right direction and unquestionably better than me deep frying the miserable sack.

“What’re we talking about that’s making White Horse look like he’s trying to piss out the world’s biggest kidney stone?” Ainsley dryfires, ruining the moment.

“Esha,” Aspen and Maverick announce.

She looks over at Esha who sneers in response. Ainsley just sneers back. “I think she wants to get in my pants.”

Frank guffaws. “She’d have to get out of Luke’s first.”

Ainsley conned a few details from me about Esha, but I didn’t give her the full story because it isn’t my story to tell. Mostly, she’d just been trying to figure Luke out. Of course, I’m all for that.

“So much dang drama,” she slamfires. “You guys put too much effort into controlling your lives instead of just living them.”

“Didn’t you just meet the shattered sparks a few weeks ago?” Aspen outgasses. “Were there no takeaways from that experience?”

“Sure, but this is about matters of a specific nature.” She flickers her eyeflints like a dipstick. “The heart.”

“There’s a reason certain things won’t ever work out with certain people,” Luke seiches, clearly uncomfortable with this burn path. “We’ve explained this to you before. Wielders of the same element can’t be together. They...clash. It’s physical.”

She spirals her scopes. “It’s freaking garbage. If you care about someone, it shouldn’t matter if you match Schism, Polarity, or even sparks. You all chase Synergy like it’s everything. It’s really not. It’s just something extra that can happen, sort of like a spark marriage, and sure, maybe that’s what you’ve been taught to believe you want, but you shouldn’t be making yourself miserable in the chase. Letting happiness pass you by for the chance of potential happiness in the future is like holding in a fart because you think it’s going to help you crap later.”

Luke splutters under his breath. I’m a little impressed he hasn’t billowed at her.

“Well, let me ask you this,” she keeps picking the scab. “Did you love her?”

“We were...compatible.” His shoulders are so tense they might just fall off from lack of circulation. “We were on a path.”

“The same path?” she persists.

He shoals his brow. “We were going the same direction.”

“Until you weren’t,” I spew.

“Yes, but did you love her?” Ainsley repeats the question, seeming more than a little curious about the answer.

“That’s irrelevant.” He shifts on his feet like he wants to step toward her or hopes she might step toward him and jam her finger in his chest. But she doesn’t, and she hasn’t, not in a long while. He’s clearly missing the simple touch in a way that makes him antsy over the absence.

“Okay,” she works around his unwillingness to answer. “Did she love you?”

He grunts. “She said she did.”

“And did you think you might magically start loving her with your whole heart if your Polarity was aligned?”

“No…not right then…Synergy would’ve done that part.”

In the space of those words, my worst fear comes to light. I don’t want to be forced into Synergy, tied to someone by a nature I haven’t nurtured. It’s bad enough I’ll probably have to choose between Aspen or Maverick some day, let alone someone entirely new I’ve yet to meet. But if I want a family, that’s the sacrifice I’ll have to make. Spark ignition has rewired my reproductive system. I literally can’t have children without submitting to a Synergy Ceremony.

“Maybe think on that for a hot minute,” Ainsley snicks, “because I don’t think Synergy is something that forces love. If it did, I sure wouldn’t be chasing after it.”

“You might change your mind eventually,” I ash. Aspen and Maverick rub my arms knowingly.

These young charges all start out elated they’re sterilized at the point of spark ignition. Both males and females. It means no unwanted pregnancies. No unwanted childbirths. All of it’s strictly controlled, and gaining access to your reproductive system comes with a cost. You have to tie your spark to a single other Sparkler who meets the criteria to fulfill that position. They have to be the same element as you. They have to have the same schism as you. They have to be your polar opposite. Absolute balance. There are no variations available when it comes to Synergy, and Synergy is needed for us to procreate.

“Keira,” she redirects her attention to me, “I think love forms Synergy, not the other way around. It’s not something we’re meant for. It’s something we make. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be real, and if it wasn’t real, it wouldn’t last, regardless of some piss stain in your eyes. People get married every day. There’s usually a golden ring around that connection too, but it doesn’t stop people from getting divorced, does it?”

“I think you’ll find the divorce rate of those joined in Synergy to be zero percent,” Luke spumes.

“A-n-y-w-a-y,” I drag the word out to shake the heavy out of the air and forcefully postpone their inevitable storm collision. “Since you’re so adamant about not wanting Esha back, it’s probably best you show her you’ve moved on.”

“Like I’m taking relationship advice from someone as easy to spread as creamy peanut butter,” Luke splashes.

I hiss a laugh. “I’m just working to get it out of my system. You know, before my crater goes on Synergy lockdown.”

“How would you show her?” Ainsley clips.

“I usually just stick with simple plans so they don’t go all funky like Frank’s,” I pop.

“Hey! That’s rude,” Frank bumbles. “Not wrong but still rude.”

“A little kiss would likely do the trick,” I smoulder.

Ainsley laughs. Luke does not laugh.

“Just stop,” he whirlpools.

But I can’t stop because Ainsley bubbles my magma chamber even more by sweetening the deal. “If you do it, I’ll choose the Stadium for Free Choice this week, and I’ll play battery so you can plug in for a recharge,” she reports.

“Holy light, Skittles,” Frank buzzes. “I had no idea you were a crap stirrer. I knew you were a crap magnet, but this is news. Maybe I should start calling you Crapples.”

“Do it, Frank,” she dares him. “Mess around and find out how far I can shove my fist up your behemoth bee hive. Probably right to my shoulder.”

Meanwhile, as Luke’s distracted by them, I sweep his legs out from under him and straddle him so he can’t get clear of me. I press my lips to his before he’s able to right himself. He stops fighting me entirely, his limbs totally slack at his sides. His junk twitches, and I fight with everything in me not to laugh. Poor fella hasn’t been laid in so long it’s probably crying a few joyful tears over the slight contact.

“I reckon that was wildly successful,” Ainsley quickfires. “She’s looking over here right now dreaming up a million ways to smother Keira’s fire.”

Luke grunts his annoyance. I look over. Esha’s glaring daggers into me, so she clearly has some feelings about what I just did to Luke. And now, I’m having a very specific feeling of my own. That junk twitch made me hungry. While I might not know the best approach to deal with Ainsley and Luke, Esha and Luke, or just Luke in general, I know exactly what to do with the hungry.

I stand up and nudge Maverick and Aspen. “Let’s skip out early and play Big Bad Mama Wolf.”

They chase after me like hungry little puppies.