CENSORED 54: FIONA

“Are you sure about this?” Frank buzzes.

“I have to help Ainsley,” I squeak as we step into the Schism Chamber.

We’ve had this conversation in depth, and really, it’s about more than my desire to help Ainsley, though that certainly gave me the kick in the hutch I needed to firm my decision. If I’m ever going to make a true difference in how things are handled in Scintilla, I have to step out of the shadows and embrace the light. I can’t invoke the kind of changes I want to see without being directly involved in the process.

No more hiding.

No more shielding.

Time to try on some of Ainsley’s war paint.

The chambers are located directly under the courtyard at the heart of the academy. There are four in total: the Spark Chamber where sparks are ignited; the Choosing Chamber where a charge selects their roommates based on spark connections; the Sleep Chamber where spare sparks are put to sleep; and the Schism Chamber where a sheath chooses between dark and light.

Frank flips a switch along the wall. The overhead lights instantly brighten the giant space. The two rings before me are the same size as the Spark and Synergy Rings, but these rings are uniquely designed for our Schism, a matching set instead of a single ring. They’re both built up on platforms like the other rings and have thick rainbow rims around the exterior. The interior of the one on the left is glistening with white sparkles; the sparkles on the right are black.

“How was she today?”

“Better.” His lips hitch up at the side. “I only had to sit on her twice. I think she’s improving.”

“Did you rat me out?” I clank.

He pulls his hand to his heart, feigning a fatal sting. “I would never. I just told her you were busy fighting for her. I didn’t mention this.”

I squidge up my nose. “Was she disappointed?”

He shakes his head.

Somehow, disappointing her seems a worse fate than her rage. I never thought I’d admit to preferring Angry Ainsley over Anguished Ainsley, yet here I am wanting the fists more than the frowns.

When Frank explained the free pass to me, I was upset at myself as much as the rest of them. It was because of me Frank concocted that bee brain idea in the first place. He wanted to give me his background file. Ainsley won the game, which he really should’ve guessed she would, then Luke cheated her out of the pass anyway. Frank got what he wanted out of it, and in the end I had too, but Ainsley’s being cheated out of her win a second time by Luke now. He never should’ve employed that pass like he did, not after what she’d just gone through, and Ainsley should’ve never, never accepted it when he did.

Accepting it didn’t stall her feelings over it though. She’s an unhealthy combination of squeal, squabble, and squall. She really believes if she’d just gone ahead with the spark hibernation, everything would be fine for Luke. I know different. Luke wouldn’t have been close to fine. I’ve only ever seen him fine when they were together. Luke might’ve been supporting her in her decision, but they couldn’t last in the long-term, and Ainsley had to know that. She isn’t dim. There are too many walls, and despite the tenacity of her wrecking ball, it would’ve failed her eventually.

What Ainsley lost was profound, but what all of Scintilla has gained is more important. In a single sweep, she started a chain reaction that’s growing every day. The Order has taken control from the Royals. The entire system is being overhauled for the greater good, and not just for Sparklers, for Regulars alike. She’s the catalyst for these mighty changes, and I hate that she can’t celebrate it, that she’s still caged despite setting the rest of us free. So, that’s my immediate goal. To see her freed. SeeHerFree is trending thanks to Adley’s continued popularity.

With Archie’s help, I’ll lead a peaceful protest at S.W.O.R.D. Palace, the biggest one yet. All people will be welcomed to show their support, and if enough show up, maybe the Order will free her. They have no right to hold her. She isn’t volatile and has exhibited glorious control of all her sparks.

And, to succeed in that protest, I need to step into the light. Without that courage boost, I’m going to pass out in front of a giant crowd while giving the speech Asher and Atlas helped me write. No more shadows for me. It’s time to shine.

“Do I just go through the one denoting my choice?”

Frank guffaws. “No, Water Lily, you go through the opposite one.”

I squinch my brow.

“When you go through the black, it puts the black to sleep.”

I turn to him, gazing into his green rings with white flecks that mine will soon mirror. Frank hasn’t admitted it, but he’s pleased my Schism is bringing me closer to a future with him.

“How bad will it hurt?” I worry my lip. “Tell me the truth. I can handle it.”

Frank smiles and hauls me up for a hug, smooshing my face with his nose before setting me down again. “You might cry the tiniest bit.” Then he hangs his head like he’s ashamed for lying. “You’ll probably cry a lot.”

“That’s not a good measuring stick,” I clonk. “Everything makes me cry.”

“I love your big beautiful heart,” he pipes in.

“I love your big bee-utiful heart,” I echo his sentiment in totality.

“It isn’t terrible,” he bumbles softly. “Just try not to fight it. You’ll want to, even though you’ve made up your mind, and resistance will cause it to hurt worse.”

“It should hurt!” I squoosh. “Making a choice like this shouldn’t be easy. The weight of it needs to carry.”

He leans down to kiss me softly on the lips. “Time to shine,” he whoops, walking me to the bottom of the platform containing the black glittering flecks.

When he runs around to the other side, I can barely see him through the expanse, but I know he’s there waiting for me, the gravity of our connection pulling me up the steps and toward him.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

I pause at the top, drawing in a giant breath to gather my nerves. The darkness inside me recoils from the Dark Schism Ring, wrapping itself so tightly around my heart I fear it might shatter. It’s terrified.

“Don’t be scared,” I clatter softly. “You’re just going to sleep for a little while. I’ll be with you the whole time.”

As I step through the ring, the darkness gives me one final, mighty squeeze. A goodbye hug. Then the hold lessens until it’s nothing more than a single grain of sand on a beach. Frank’s waiting for me on the other side, and I fall into his arms. There’s no uncontrollable sobbing as he projected. I release exactly two tears, one from each eye. A sad tear for the past and a happy one for the future.

He hauls me up into his arms and holds me there. I touch a finger to his lips, sending a rattle of my earth spark through the contact. He gasps, and I jerk my hand away.

“My spark’s different now, isn’t it?” I squelch a sigh. “Do you hate it?”

He beams. “I didn’t think you could taste any sweeter, and here you are blooming into the sweetest flower in my garden.”

I clack a laugh and lean in to whisper, “Let’s see how many plates we can smash before the protest starts.”

He flies out of the chamber with me in his arms, destination Dormitory, top floor.