How I feel about detention is like the weather.
It's unpredictable.
I had just arrived into Ms. Reed's classroom for detention and I'm excited but not. I thought things were starting to go well yesterday but then she decided to embarrass me in front of the whole population of the kids doing volleyball.
Me and Payton weren't even flirting. Yes I may have been a little close to her but that's just because I had to ask her a question and I knew I would be yelled at if I said it aloud.
But each day that passes by is another day I am more confused with mine and Ms. Reed's 'relationship'.
Some days I feel like I'm not delusional and that she is actually attracted to me but some days I feel like all she does is hate me.
Still her eyes, her eyes say something to me that I can't quite figure out yet.
Ms. Reed is currently sending a voice message to someone, smiling down at her phone.
"You seem to be in a good mood today. Who you sending a message to? Your boyfriend?" I smirk and wiggle my eyebrows although I would probably run in front of a train if it actually was her boyfriend.
I can tell Ms. Reed so badly wants to flip me off but instead rolls her eyes.
"It's none of your business Jules." She looks at her phone once again then back to me. "And no it's not a boyfriend."
For some reason she hesitates before saying the word 'boyfriend'.
Makes me wonder if she even likes men at all.
Ms. Reed turns her phone off and focuses her attention back to her laptop. "You also seem to be more talkative than usual this early in detention. And that's saying something."
I'm still a little irritated with her but I know I can never fully be angry at her. No matter what problems come between us. "Maybe...actually I don't know what I was going to say."
Ms. Reed smiles at me for what feels like the first time in eternity. Its fresh, its sweet, it seems genuine. It quickly returns to a more serious face though. "Listen Jules, I'm sorry about earlier."
I lean back in my chair and cross my arms.
"What about earlier?"
Ms. Reed exhales and turns off her computer. "I didn't mean to embarrass you like that in gym. I just wasn't thinking."
"Sure seemed like you did." I'm not mad at Ms. Reed I'm just a little hurt. Plus it never hurt to make your crush beg for forgiveness, although she is not technically begging.
Ms. Reed shakes her head. "I wasn't trying to call you out, Jules. I just needed your attention and you weren't giving any to me."
She pulls her hair back into a low ponytail and suddenly this woman can do anything she wants to me. Yes I've seen her have it in a low pony but the way she's biting on to her hair tie and pulling her hair up with her hands...Lord save me.
I can't argue with what she says because she wasn't wrong. But still, I need to make make her feel a little guilty. "You could've handled it better." I mumble this so I know that the guilt trap will actually work on her.
She tilts her head. "And you could've listened to me the first time."
Okay so my trap did not work.
I sigh, very dramatically and sit straight up. "Okay okay okay I'm sorry that I ignored you Ms. Reed. It probably won't happen again."
Ms. Reed looks at me with an eyebrow raised but I swear I can see the smallest smile on her face. "That's the best apology I'm going to get, isn't it?"
I nod at Ms. Reed. Now I'm trying my best not to smile. "You know me so well."
She bites her lip and now I swear she is trying her best to hold back her smile as well.
"Just, don't make me call your name twice again, alright?"
I nod.
I really don't want to say this because I know I'm just going to jinx everything as I have many times before but, I'm glad things with Ms. Reed are going smoothly. Not as many arguments and if there are any then for the most part we communicate.
Now that's a green flag for me when looking for a girlfriend.
"Are you going to come to some of the women's basketball games this year?" My eyes go wide. I don't know what just made me say that nor do I regret it.
Ms. Reed glances up from her phone, almost as shocked as I am from what I just said. "What?"
"Our season just started up. Our first games next week." I tap my pen against the desk. "Will you ever consider going to one of them? You know, to see your favorite student?"
Ms. Reed obnoxiously rolls her eyes while giving me an 'are you serious?' face. "One, I don't have a favorite student. Two, why?"
I shrug, trying my best to act nonchalant and casual.
"Well you've seen me in every volleyball game and I thought maybe you'd like to see me play something else. So you can see why I committed to basketball and not volleyball."
Ms. Reed's lips part slightly and then they shut, so I know she's considering it. "Well that's because I was your coach so I had no choice but to watch you."
"I mean, yeah-"
"And you spend half your time acting like you can't stand me and that I'm non-existent and now you're inviting me to a game to watch you?"
She emphasizes the 'you' meaning just watching me.
I wasn't going to be greedy but if she wants her eyes on me the whole game then I am not going to complain at all.
She has a point though of what she just said.
"I don't know. I just thought it would be nice." I mumble that, now regretting that I even brought up the basketball game in the first place. That was honestly stupid and ridiculous of me to ask.
Ms. Reed runs her fingers across her desk, making me distracted.
"I'll think about it, Oliver."
I'm trying to hide my joy because that's not a yes but it's also not a no. Most of the time when someone says that, it means they'll do it.
See you at the first game Ms. Bodacious.
...
School was so exhausting, especially basketball practice.
Is it just me or did this school day feel extremely long? Like what do you mean I had gym, detention, and basketball practice in the same day?
Then again, it was that same routine yesterday and probably the next following days...or weeks.
I just flopped down on my bed and immediately FaceTimed Claudia who picked up after just a second. I will make sure to not bring up anything about Ms. Bodacious.
I think.
"Ugh Jules what do you want?" Claudia answers with an attitude, obviously, and is currently in what seems to be her gaming room.
Yes. A gaming room.
"Damn hello to you too bitch." I flip off Claudia and she returns the favor.
Claudia's big ass face is taking up the whole screen. All I can see is her 10 pounds of makeup she put on this morning.
"Shut up Jules. I'm just joking with you. Besides, I'm intrigued to learn what's happening with you because you seem to be glowing?"
I'm unsure whether to say what I need to say or not. "It's nothing Claudia, trust."
Of course, Claudia sees right through me and has a serious face on.
"Jules. Don't lie now."
I give in. "Ms. Reed apologized to me in detention for brutally embarrassing me during attendance in volleyball today. Well, she kinda apologized."
Claudia face palms, probably wiping the 10 pounds of make up off her face as she does it. "Jules I can't listen to this anymore."
"I wasn't even going to say anything bad."
Claudia hesitates. "Okay fine, spill what you need to."
I smirk evilly. "She said she regrets embarrassing me today and we actually talked like, normally. We didn't fight or anything."
"So there was no tension? No staring at each other or weird moments where your both pretending you don't want to say something to each other but you totally do?"
I hate how well this bitch knows me.
"Go dox me while you're at it. Fucking stalker."
She laughs and as much as I would love to laugh with her, there's still something I haven't confessed.
"So I uh, I kinda asked her to go to one of my basketball games."
Claudia's jaw drops. "Jules Sydney Oliver."
"Stop Claudia I know I know this is so bad."
"You asked the woman who you eye fuck and then pretend doesn't exist- to come and watch you play?" Claudia stares at me for a moment then continues. "Jules I'm trying really really hard to not care but you make it so difficult."
I look away from my screen then back to her. "She didn't even say yes."
"I bet she didn't say no either, did she?" There's a brief moment of silence. "That's what I thought. Jules, this is your teacher. You need to remember that."
I bite my lip, trying my best to act composed. "I know."
There's a pause in the conversation where all I can hear is the background music Claudia's playing very lowly. She begins to speak again, this time more softer. "Look I just don't want my best friend to get caught up in something that's going to hurt her in the end. I love you so much and I care about you so much. You have to understand I'm trying to protect you."
Claudia's right and I fucking hate it.
"I know. I love you too Claudia. If I get hurt then it's the risk I'm going to take."
There's definitely more that Claudia wants to say but she instead changes the subject.
Kinda.
"So you and Payton???"
"Fuck off Clauds."
We keep talking but I still can't get Ms. Reed out of my head.
Claudia's right about everything.
But Ms. Reed is the risk I'm willing to take.
Authors Words:
My gym crush teacher smiling at me today is prob the closest thing Ill get to of having a relationship like Jules and Ms. Reed.