It's my 19th Birthday today and I only have one wish.
For Ms. Reed to be mine.
The worst part of all this besides me becoming one year closer to my death, is that my birthday is on a fucking Monday. Who set that system up?
Only brightside is I don't have basketball practice or a game today.
Instead of waking up at 11:30 AM, being greeted to my dad's homemade protein pancakes with 4 sunny side up eggs and a huge cup of hot chocolate, I've been awake since 7:30 and spending the morning in gym class.
The only good thing is Ms. Reed being here.
Last week we picked new activities and I picked pickleball with one of my friends and of course Ms. Reed was the activity teacher for it.
To my surprise, ever since I visited her during lunch and she was like "I shouldn't" when I asked if she would go to my second home game, she hasn't been pulling away like she used to. Maybe she's accepting that she's attracted to me.
The gym is getting quieter as people make their way to their activities. For the first time in our gym class careers, I'm not doing an activity with Claudia, Max, and/or Maisie.
Instead I am doing pickleball with Payton.
I'm walking with a few of my acquaintances because Payton texted me earlier today she was going to be late but will be there for the entirety of pickleball except attendance.
As I'm walking with these 'friends,' me and Ms. Reed make eye contact as we're making our way to the bubble and for some reason her eye's look like they have guilt or concern in them. Like she's wondering where my friends are.
Once inside the bubble, Ms. Reed uses her usual bitchy voice and begins telling everyone to stand near or sit on the bleachers and how phones are forbidden.
She starts doing attendance and instead of using her laptop, she's using a clipboard.
"Natalie H?" Ms. Reed looks up every time she calls someone's name and for some reason, her eyes always find mine as she's examining the room. I don't know if it's because my friends aren't here with me or what.
"Jules is here," Ms. Reed mumbles under her breath. She's been calling out everyone's name for attendance except mine. Surely that has to mean something.
As soon as I see Ms. Reed's mouth open to say the next name, the heavy doors to the bubble open and slam shut. I turn to see who it is.
Payton's blonde, silky hair is waving side to side as she makes her way towards me with her piercing blue eyes and her cheerleading varsity jacket on.
"Happy birthday, superstar." Payton winks at me and not going to lie, I'm a little flustered.
Ms. Reed seems to be the opposite of that as I can see her from the corner of my eye looking up at me with devilish eyes.
"How'd you know it was my birthday?"
Payton's fingers trace the inside of my forearm as she looks me up and down. "It's not hard to forget when you're so easy to remember." Payton can definitely tell I'm getting a little shy right now. "Why, do you know my birthday?"
"May 23rd." I say that with no hesitation as her jaw drops jokingly.
"I'm surprised you know that, superstar." Payton removes her fingers from my forearm. "Good girl."
I can feel Ms. Reed's eye's lingering on mine and I can't tell if it's a good or bad stare. It's kind of hard to tell with her. I glance at Ms. Reed and I can tell she is definitely not amused whatsoever.
Why is she always mad when I talk to Payton? What does she have against the girl?
The song I'm currently listening to with my airpods isn't a song that is fitting this hype morning vibe so I take my phone out of my sweatpants pocket.
"Oliver, you're getting a zero for today and phone away now." All of the 25 other kids turn to look at me as Ms. Reed calls me out in front of them. Why the fuck do they keep looking? They surely have to be used to me getting yelled at by now.
Instead of moping and obeying, it's time to fight back. "I was just changing a song. That's nothing bad. A zero for that is crazy."
Ms. Reed raises an eyebrow and that's how I know I just made a mistake. "Excuse me?" Shockingly, she stops saying anything. "Everyone get to a court now."
All of the kids shuffle to a court as well as Payton for us. That's actually kind of nice of Ms. Reed to do. To take all of the attention off of me.
"Detention after school Jules." Her voice is strict but in a way that she's trying to be strict and she's not actually. Like she's not actually mad at me but she's trying to be. Like I cracked her code.
I roll my eyes. "You can't just keep giving detention. It's going to look bad on my resume." I smirk at her as I walk away and off to the court where Payton is at with Ms. Reed just staring me down.
Spending my birthday in detention? No other place I'd rather be.
...
When I open the door to Ms. Reed's health room, I immediately speed walk my way to my usual seat, grabbing her attention.
"It's my birthday and I'm spending it here. In detention." I should've seen it coming.
Ms. Reed looks up from her phone and looks at me with an annoyed face. "I know. I overheard Payton obnoxiously saying it today when she rudely stormed into class."
I sit back in my seat and smirk. "So you were listening?"
As much as I don't want that to boost my ego and delusion, it does. She's been paying attention to me and Payton's conversations. Hence, she's jealous of Payton.
There's a moment of silence between the two of us. Ms. Bodacious forwards her attention back to her phone but I sigh really loudly so she looks back up at me. "Aren't you going to say happy birthday to me?"
She doesn't respond to me immediately. I catch her having the tiniest smile before it fades away quicker than the blink of an eye. "You shouldn't be spending it in here with me. You should be out with your friends."
I wave her off. "Come on Ms. Reed I'm in here so much you're practically my best friend."
But I want to be more.
There's another wave of silence. To my surprise, she's been the one initiating a lot of the conversation lately. "So how old are you now? Nineteen right?"
"Yep, nineteen years old." I sit up and smirk. "One year closer to you."
Ms. Reed gives me another of her frequent eye rolls. She's sick of me but she loves it. And I know she loves it.
"So is December 9th your favorite holiday now Ms. Reed?"
She's trying her hardest not to smile. I can tell. "It's up there Jules."
As time and the conversation goes on, the tension starts to ease. Something I never would've imagined a month ago. It's a comfortable silence, the silence that has been rare but the most enjoyable. Honestly, spending time with Ms. Reed is the best birthday present. Even if it's somewhere as unromantic as in her health room for detention.
Suddenly the expression in her face changes. "You're better than this Jules."
Her words catch me off guard.
"One day all of these detentions are going to kill you."
The thing is, she's not even mad. In the way I expected at least. She sounds more, more...caring. Something she didn't let herself show that much but she's being more vulnerable now.
Only to me.
I feel myself getting hot in the places it would be most embarrassing if they get exposed. "Who is this caring person and what have you done to my Ms. Reed?"
As soon as I said that, the only noise is the AC but then I hear her let out a small chuckle and I know everything's alright.
"So what's up with you and that one blonde chick? You guys dating?"
My body becomes paralyzed as those words enter my ears. No way Ms. Reed just said that. This isn't a dream right? This is reality?
But instead of acting nervous and sweaty, I need to act nonchalant. "Why? You jealous?"
A tiny laugh escapes Ms. Reed's mouth. "In your dreams Jules."
She's right about that, unfortunately. I am dating Ms. Reed. But only in my dreams. But now it's super obvious that Ms. Reed knows I like her.
Still the fact that she just asked that means something. She's been thinking about Payton and I. She's noticed everything. Even the things I thought she wasn't paying attention to.
I shrug, trying my best to act and sound casual. "But nah we aren't dating. Just friends. I don't know if she thinks of it as something more or what. She's a great girl but I don't know."
Ms. Reed's jaw clenches like she's trying to hold herself back from saying something. Like the next words that she says are going to be words that she will deeply regret.
She sighs as she looks at me. "I don't know Jules. She just seems messy. You can do better than her, I know it."
"Who then?" My question catches her off guard now but instead of answering, she just says nothing. In her mind it's probably best if she says nothing. Sometimes saying nothing is better than something and I know that's exactly what she's telling herself right now.
To try and change the vibe and destroy the uneasy tension that has been building up in the air, I do have something more to say.
"Hey Ms. Reed, I actually have a birthday wish but I don't know if you're going to agree."
Ms. Reed looks up at me like she's regretting all of her life decisions.
After 15 minutes of bickering I finally managed to convince Ms. Reed to drive me home.
I had to explain to her why I didn't have my bike because Claudia drove me in her one car. And yes incase you're wondering, I was able to have my shoes on in her car. Because she got me brand new shoes.
"How did I put myself in this situation again." Ms. Reed puts the windows up all the way as she lowers the volume of her radio as well.
"Because I'm your favorite student." I turn to her and smile widely as she turns to me for a moment before returning her attention back on the empty neighborhood roads.
We've been driving on the road for a hot minute and each second that passes is another second I'm getting more worried. "Uhm Ms. Reed are you sure you know where your going? I forgot to give you my directions."
"I remember," Ms. Reed says with no hesitation.
She remembers? Could she be any more in love with me?! That means that she's been thinking about me outside of school.
Before I know it, we're at my house and Ms. Reed pulls up to the side of the road, scoping the area.
"Is anyone home?"
That question once again, catches me off guard.
"Uhm no. My dad's at work so I'm alone." Ms. Reed nods. "Why, wanna come in and celebrate my birthday with me?"
"Absolutely not."
That was expected but still hurts.
"Now get out."
I do as I'm told and give her an army salute as I get out of her car. I'm about to shut her car door when she opens her mouth.
"Happy birthday Jules." Ms. Reed smiles and all I'm capable of is smiling as well.
"Thank you Ms. Reed. See you tomorrow."
I shut her door lightly so it doesn't break from my strong muscles and make my way towards my front door. Once again, she stormed off but I don't even care.
It may sound corny but this was definitely my best birthday.
Authors Words:
Jules just turned that 8 year age gap to a 7 year age gap. I'm so proud of her.
Wont be 7 for long tho.
Also very excited to write and share the next chapter. I've been so excited to write it for so long. This was the chapter I've been wanting to write since I started writing this book. Def the most excited ive been to write a specific chapter since the Nationals one.
Can't wait to share it with you all <3