I really believe that you're the greatest occurrence to bless me.
The way you talk, the way you laugh,
The way your bracelets sound when you dance,
The way you smile, the way you bask
Me with your warmth-
And what way shall you reply when I ask,
Be mine?
I long for you, and the heavens witness this-
Every night when I just pray to the stars,
To see your face just once more-
And ease my sleepless nights.
How am I to be blamed?
When you corrupt my mind-
Your smile, your lips and your eyes,
Take me, be a little kind.
Harvey couldn't sleep. These words, such words- would have anyone swooning over them.
It didn't occur to him that a man who hadn't desired anyone would ever write emotions with depth as such.
At nights, Ansel's smile plagued him. The way Ansel put his heart to ease, and the way Harvey simply wanted his presence.
Calm, soothing, full of warmth.
"Are you still awake?" Fane asked from the other side of the room, still up by the lamplight on his study desk, as he craned over to look at Harvey.
"No?"
"I need help here,"
Grudgingly, Harvey dragged himself out of his thoughts back to advanced circular geometry-
"You need to find the angle of this arcâ¦"
"You know, you look so serious when you study?" Ansel grinned, his soft brown curls falling over his shoulder when he tilted his head, chin resting on his palm when he sat beside Harvey.
That memory, made Harvey blush.
"That's a lie." Harvey cleared his throat, avoiding Ansel's face.
"Oh? But I like that expression of yours."
Harvey's heart had flipped somersaults. He didn't know why. But done that- those goddamned somersaults.
"Would you kindly tell?" Fane snapped him back.
"Why can't you do it yourself?" Harvey snapped back.
"If I could, would I have troubled you?" Fane rose a brow.
"Is it just me or the weather looks really beautiful today?" Ansel's soft voice- didn't leave Harvey.
Everything looks beautiful to you, Harvey had wanted to say.
"Hey Goldshaw, don't ignore me."
"Am not. Was just thinking something."
"What?"
Month and a half? It had passed. Trigonometry had been over with, and triangles and straight lines too- Harvey was stuck up with coordinate circles.
"Fane if someone doesn't leave my mind, what do I make of it?" Harvey shrugged, and sighed at the same time.
"Either you despise hem, or hate them, or you are plotting their death. Either way, you need to keep thinking about it constantly. You know, how to choose the weapon and the location-"
Harvey stared at him funnily.
"Oh yes, love is another possibility."
"Love?"
"You might be in love with that person." Fane folded his palms beneath his chin, and blinked several tunes. "Any one of those reasons."
"According to you, I either want to kill or be in love. That's an absurd choice!" Harvey slumped down back on his bed.
"What's absurd is you not doing assignments. Get back to it, the deadline is in two days."
"I will, so do rest your words. I won't heed to them."
_________________________________________
Fine fine mornings, and Harvey used to await them- quite delightedly, although his stoic face never seemed to blossom into a smile. Never quite, he wanted to show his own emotions to anyone else. Neverâ¦
"Do you miss him a lot?"
"Not really," Harvey forced a chuckle, "he left when I was eight. It's just a void in his place, as if- if he was never thereâ¦" Ansel's hands, soft hands with the roughened fingertips, so pale that thin green veins looked clearly and his chapped⦠inked nailsâ¦
Harvey had never noticed such detail before.
"It's okay to feel weak sometimes." His icy blue eyes, for the first time, felt cold. As if he was staring far off in the distance, and Harvey felt what Ansel was feeling.
That made the eighteen year old smile.
"I never really understood why father left us. How could he abandon all of us for a younger woman? But what I saw was my mother- how she painstakingly raised the four of us." Harvey's eyes glossed momentarily, surprised at how much emotion could this boy⦠who he knew nothing about⦠met him a month and a half ago⦠how much emotion could he draw out of Harvey.
Maybe because he is the only one who actually listens.
"And you didn't want your sister to end up like your mother. Is that why you were so irrationally angry on Michael?" Ansel laughed a bit, "and me?" Adding it jokingly.
"Yes," Harvey blushed.
And every evening, he'd end up in the library, talking to Ansel while he dusted books, rearranged them or simply sat and read poetry.
"Although I might take a fancy to your sister." Ansel practically radiated sunshine, and he was the perfect son-in-law for any family, just thatâ¦
"You don't have a job. Writers don't earn much anyway." Harvey frowned. Somehow, he didn't like Ansel and Drusilla together. "And Drusilla is older than you."
"Does it matter?" Ansel had taken to a fit of laughing. "And who says you'll have a stable position?"
"I'm born with brains." Harvey held his nose up.
"The correct phrase is, blessed with brains."
"No⦠I wasn't blessed with it. I made myself intelligent. God had nothing to do with it."
"You're definitely one of a kind." Ansel sighed, standing up to draw another book from the shelf behind him, to complete his own assignment- a twelve inch parchment on Homer's poems.
One of a kind, he said.
And why? No one knew. But Harvey's heart definitely did somersaults.
What do you all really think about Ansel though?
Let's talk about it.
Also, I succeeded in making the moodboard aesthetics of my characters! Comment here and I'll show them to you in the next chapter!