Harvey had never felt so suffocated in his entire life. The feeling was quite similar to someone clasping a noose round his neck and pulling it tightly- no matter how hard Harvey fought, he couldn't get out of that situation.
Such dread... such anxiety...
"I am not the right person for you." When Ansel had said that, what did he mean?
No matter how much Harvey thought about it, association with that segment of the society was so vile. But even after over thinking till the point of sickness, Harvey couldn't just get Ansel out of his head.
Mathematics became a blur to him, he was losing interest in whatever was being taught to him and this was so... so unlike himself.
"Are you alright?" Fane raised an eyebrow, but his concern was dust when compared to Ansel's.
"Do I look alright?" Harvey snapped. His face was haggard, with an unkempt jaw stubble and uncombed hair... and very dark circles under his eyes.
"Whatever is your deal Harvey, settle it up. I am tired of you now."
"I... I need to go," Harvey stood up.
"Go where?"
"Do you have some money on you?"
Fane squinted, "money? Do I look like I have some money?!"
"Yes..." Harvey rubbed his temple, "I momentarily forgot that you are a penniless tramp."
"Wait- what?"
"I'll be back in a few hours, hopefully." Harvey grabbed his coat and ran off, leaving the door wide open behind him.
"What about money?" Wind brought Fane's question unclear, and Harvey did not care to reply. His footsteps were heavy and rushed, and at this moment, he had pushed many people out of his way, on the corridors, stairs and what not.
By the time he found Ansel, all by himself in the quietest corner of the library, he was panting like a canine.
Startled, Ansel looked up when Harvey slammed his open palm on the wood of the desk, beside Ansel' open ink pot. The impact made a flaw drops fly open and stain themselves on Ansel's broken fingernails.
With a barely noticeable tremble, did the poet look up.
"Write," Harvey almost spat. "Write for me."
Gods it was so fulfilling to look into Ansel' blue eyes once again, to look at that angelic face... to look at that face untainted by all emotions of the vile...
"Harvey..."
It was so fulfilling to look at that face, faltering due to choked emotions.
"You said you'd write for anyone." Harvey breathed, not blinking even once as beads of sweat dripped down from his temple to his chin, only to splatter down at the mahogany wood. "Then write for me. Twelve pence a letter, write for me."
"Harvey what do you..." Ansel's face was confused, contorted, torn apart between what to do.
And Harvey loved every bit of that. Harvey loved how Ansel was battling himself to reach out and comfort Harvey, and stand his ground of his rejection.
"I'll pay you, there shouldn't be any resistance now, isn't it?"
"I don't get you Harvey," Ansel stood up, eyes lowered and hand shaking. "What do you mean?"
"What I mean is..." Harvey breathed out, "Even if you reject me, I'd find ways to keep seeing you again and again... bother you again and again..."
"Stop hurting yourself, Harvey." Ansel whispered.
"No," Harvey's chest tightened. "I am not just hurting myself. You clearly are hurting too. And I'll take advantage of that... and remind you of my feelings daily-"
"Stop!" Ansel yelled softly, and Harvey took a step back, breathing slowing down as he saw Ansel's shimmering eyes, those beautiful eyes now turned so sad.
"Please Harvey... give up your whims," he sobbed, "I am not someone good..."
"You associate yourself with harlots," Harvey narrowed his brows, "I know. I saw all of that in the marketplace that day. I know. Ansel, I tried hard to forget you but I couldn't. Whatever you have done to me, take responsibility and reciprocate-"
"I can't!" Ansel shook his head, and the last hanging thread of Harvey's sanity broke. He stalked over, his steps heavy and determined as he pushed the older boy against the book shelf, holding his hands up beside his head.
"Why not?" Harvey muttered. "I'll pay you very well. Why not, then?" Harvey's eyes flickered to Ansel's lips, "you are one of those harlo-"
Harvey's words cut short when Ansel placed his palm softly over Harvey's lips, "Please don't say anything that you will regret."
Soft breaths, and gentle touches, was all that was when Ansel embraced Harvey... but that affection was all lost.
"Please... don't push me away, give me a chance at the very least." Harvey had never imagined that he'd be so tearful.
"I'd always be here when you'd need to talk, eh?" Ansel's smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Then know this- your rejection doesn't change my feelings. And until you accept me, I'd continue to make you feel guilty every minute and every second-"
Ansel chuckled, and a few precious tears escaped from his eyes, while Harvey just stared. In admiration, and in disbelief.
"You really are, one of a kind."
Who's your favourite character in this story so far? Please answer :)