Within the darkness, where not a speck of light existed, I laid barricaded.
A normal 7-year old would burst into tears in such darkness, however the genius I was not afraid of the dark. Even though the visibility was low and I couldnât move around too well, I unknowingly managed a sense of calm while cradling my knees.
This was something I could do forever.
My current gloomy mood and the room have a sense of harmony. Doing nothing but cradling my knees, my heart was able to calm down. As I lay here considering to breathe my last breath or to open my eyes, gradually a weak feeling of wonder began to spread.
Little by little my awareness dissolved, melding into the darkness of the room. Aah, finally I achieved equality with the world and achieved enlightenment but in this moment light from above shone on me.
ãI found you, Ojou-samaã
ãâ¦â¦ Itâs Mariywaã
To my eyes that grew accustomed to the dark, even the faintest of light was blinding.
Hugging my knees in an empty box of in the pantry, I squinted my eyes looking up at Mariywa.
ãThe residence has become quite noisy you know? Iâve heard that Christina Ojou-sama suddenly vanishedã
ãâ¦â¦They should be. Itâs because Iâve been hidden here all along. How did Mariywa know I would be here?ã
I was in the pantry that was deep inside the estate; on top of that, I was inside an empty box. After my demand for Mishuly was rejected by father, Iâve been hidden since then. To be able to find me in such a place, thatâs a miracle.
However, Mariywa found me seemingly effortlessly.
ãItâs not difficult to fathom a depressed childâs hiding place, Ojou-samaã
ãâ¦â¦Hmphã
I snorted lightly and turned away.
Comparing the genius I to those wanton little children, thereâs a limit to how arrogant of a comment you can make. I moved not with feeling and instinct, but because I knew that hiding in a box in the pantry was the best place to hide.
Nevertheless, the lid of the specific box in which I was hiding was splendidly opened by Mariywa. It would be unbecoming of myself to complain here.
ãAnd? Have you come to drag me out?ã
I was supposed to have etiquette lessons right now. The ball at the royal palace is due in 3 days. The plan was to wrap-up all the etiquettes learned since now.
To skip that, her mood must be very bad. Iâll probably be punished with the whip or be forced to endure the harshest of lessons to date. Regardless, my future only seemed bleak.
However, I right now wasnât afraid of the punishment.
ãBe it the whip or anything else just do it, Mariywa. No matter how much my body is bloodied or battered, I wonât give in. I wonât have anything to do with etiquette lessons.ã
It may have been out of desperation, but the I today was absolutely fearless in the face of critical danger.
The reason for hiding myself in the food warehouse was due to the turmoil that happened the other day when I revealed my dress.
Because the dresses were made together, I misunderstood that Mishuly would also be going to the ball. Father didnât have any ill will; since I was having a dress made, he with his âoverflowingâ parental love decided to have one made for Mishuly as well.
However, that love backfired.
Fatherâs genuine goodwill fostered my misunderstanding. I am not hateful towards fatherâs spirit in trying to please his children. In fact, when Mishuly and I were shown to the dress shop, we were cheerfully shouting in excitement.
The problem lied in the âsmallâ detail I revealed in front of the newly dressed Mishuly that day.
Having thought that Mishuly would also be participating, I mistakenly unveiled that father was in fact keeping the news of the ball a secret from Mishuly.
From that blunder, the reason why I started playing hide-and-seek was simple.
Rather than participating without Mishuly, Iâd rather not participate at all.
ãWhy must I attend a ball that Mishuly will not? Itâs unpleasant. Absolutely unpleasant. I absolutely wonât go to such a ball. Neither will I continue with etiquette lessons whose purpose was for the ball.ã
If the reason Mishuly couldnât participate was due to her young age then it would be acceptable. If it was because Mishuly hasnât acquired the proper manners, I would barely consent.
However, it was different.
Mishuly would not be allowed to attend any balls in the future.
From Mariywaâs perspective, I probably look like a child throwing a tantrum. Even so, I didnât care. I put strength into the arm that is holding my knees and curled myself up. I was small but I put all my strength into shouting.
ãHow is it fair that I will be able to attend these balls but Mishuly will always be excluded?ã
Mishuly cannot appear on the glittering stage of high society. If it was a small, family party, then she had the opportunity to attend. However, anything beyond that was completely stripped from her choices.
If you think about it, itâs reasonable. Right now, the existence of Mishuly borne from the late princess could not be known to the public. Currently, she is recognized as the duke Noir familyâs adopted daughter, hence Mishuly cannot be shown off. Thatâs why the situation wasnât limited to this ball. From now on, I could only leave behind Mishuly and debut in high society.
This was something I couldnât accept.
ãIf you want me to participate in the ball, it must be with Mishuly. If not, I wonât move from this spot. I absolutely wonât!ã
After saying what I held in my heart, I buried my face behind my knees and fell silent. Here is the pantry. Surviving three days until the ball is over is an easy battle to win. To be honest, while persevering through the boredom, I was gnawing at the food around here.
ãâ¦â¦â¦â¦ã
Mariywa is unlikely to accept my selfishness. That is only natural. As she was employed to be my private tutor, it was her job to force me to be a lady. Soon, I will be dragged out from the box through brute force and have character severely beaten into me.
However, I will absolutely not follow what she says. I will stubbornly resist to the end.
To I, who was stubbornly holed up in the box, Mariywa acted unexpectedly.
ãâ¦â¦ Haaã
Mariywa neither hit me nor scolded me.
She only sighed once. Without pause, she sat down next to me.
ãâ¦â¦ Whatâs the matter, Mariywa?ã
ãTodayâs etiquette lesson is on holdã
ãEh?ã
I looked up at those unexpected words. On hold, in other words, cancelled. It was unlike Mariywa who would, up until now, no matter how much I ran away, soon appear and drag me away
Although I wondered what was wrong, to my regret, I could not see Mariywaâs face who was sitting behind my box.
ãChristina Ojou-sama. You are a wise child.ã
ãâ¦â¦What are you saying so suddenly?ã
I am obviously a genius, but to say I am âwiseâ rather than âsmartâ or âintelligentâ gave it a slightly malicious feel. [ED: Like being called old, well you are inside Christina!]
ãYou would often run away from class or engage it much tomfooleries, but as the instructor, I also understood that your memory is very good. You remember everything I taught before, no? While you always used a vulgar, unladylike language, you were able to perfectly demonstrate the etiquettes I taught with no room for criticismã
ãâ¦â¦ To that extent, it is only naturalã
ãThatâs true. Therefore, even if one lesson was to disappear, it would not make a visible difference. And alsoâ¦ã
Letting out a deep sigh, Mariywa continued in a somewhat exhausted tone.
ãA depressed child is very bothersome, Chris-Ojou-samaã
Rather than her usual strict voice, it was very passive.
It was unmistakably her real feelings. I understood I was simply being selfish here, but I still turned my head away and bluffed.
ãâ¦â¦fuu. Say whatever you wantã
Mariywa speaking ill of me so frankly and treating me like a child, it didnât prick at my pride as a genius, no really.
ãNee, Christina Ojou-samaã
ãWhat is it, Mariywa?ã
ãYouâre a wise childã
With the same exact face and tone as before, Mariywa brought the previous topic back with the same line.
ãYouâre a child that can understand everything. Youâre also a child who can guess whatâs not taught. Youâre a child who can understand her surrounding situation well. That is why you understand, donât you? â¦â¦ You and Mishuly-sama are not true sistersã
Those arrow like words pierced deeply into my chest.
I understood it however, the unavoidable truth hurt more than I expected. Not wanting to admit the wound in my heart, I excessively and unreservedly shouted to deny Mariywaâs words.
ãMishuly is my younger sisterã
ãNo. No matter how well you get along; no matter how much you cherish Mishuly-sama; the fact that you do not share a blood-relationship is the undeniable truth. The fact Mishuly-sama alone cannot attend the ball should be evidence, no?ã
Mariywa gouged the arrow of words deeper without consideration.
ãShut upã
ãAdmit it. This is the truth. No matter how much you shout and rebel, this is the reality. You do not have the power right now to deny that factã[ED: I italicized âright nowâ because I felt it was important]
ãâ¦â¦ Shut, upã
Even while acting strong in my responses, every word that I received caused my body to tremble. Gradually, tears began to blur my vision. The truth I do not want to hear, the truth I do not want to recognize was beaten in and Iâm already crumbling apart. The tear glands bursting after holding out for so long; I firmly squeezed my eyes and press them against my knees.
ãShut up, shut up shut up shut upâ¦â¦!ã
Why was Mariywa piling up such harsh remarks one after another? Was this the revenge for thwarting the etiquette class? This is bullying. Itâs too much. So mean. If only you could be kinder with your wordsââ
ãThe noisy one is you, Christina Ojou-sama.ã
ãâ¦â¦tsk!ã
â¦â¦I donât want this anymore.
Exhausted and having lost all energy, trying to endure crying has become irrelevant. Thatâs right. Letâs just cry already. Without thinking about anything, Iâll just single-mindedly cry. If I do that maybe Mariywa will be troubled.
To my head which was thinking such things, something warm and gentle was placed on it.
ãâ¦â¦ ?ã
To I who reached my limits to the point of suffocation, doubt suddenly spread my mind. What could the identity of this small, warm, and comfortable sensation be? Slightly anxious, I revealed my face a little bit and saw something unbelievable.
Mariywaâs palm was gently placed on my head.
ãYou and Mishuly-sama are not true sisters. After taking in that unavoidable truth, you will arrive at more absurdities from the world which you must overcomeã
To I, with widened eyes, who was too surprised to cry anymore, Mariywa gently stroked my head once.
ãIf you are able to recognize the unacceptable truth and comply with societyâs evaluation, you will, if only a bit, come closer to becoming a splendid lady.ã
Those were not kind words. Neither were there any agreeable logic. Strict and unreasonable, however, Mariywaâs words about the spirit of a lady struck and etched itself into my body with power.
ãâ¦â¦Even after doing that much, are they still not considered to be a splendid lady?ã
ãItâs the truth. A true lady would, as easily as breathing, repeat and perform what I just statedã
ãâ¦â¦Is that soã
If that was the case, a lady would be very strong, smart, and noble.
Beyond what I believed it to be, by far.
ãNow, if you still insist on not attending the ball, these words shall instantly motivate Christina Ojou-samaã
ãâ¦â¦?ã
Even though I already mustered some motivation, I wonder what it is? Iâm interested.
To my ears which was anxious about the upcoming words, Mariywa thrusted out horrendous words.
ãIf Ojou-sama stays indoors and skips the royal palaceâs ballâ¦â¦From now on in etiquette class, I will harden my heart and use a cane insteadã
ãâ¦â¦Mariywaã
Hearing the most unbelievable words yet today, I stared in disbelief at Mariywa.
ãYou, your body and soul has long since been a sadistic demonâow ow ow ow ow!ã
Using two fists to grind against my temples, this confirmed that Mariywa was surely a denizen from hell.
Using my pupils moistened from pain, I glared at Mariywa. The gentle hand from before must have been an illusion!
ãâ¦â¦fuu. Itâs already time my carriage has arrived. I shall retire for tonight so Ojou-sama may stay confined in the box as you please. I shall even close the lid for youã
ãWa, Wait. Stop trying to confine me!ã
I began to stand up resisting Mariywa who was shutting the lid.
ãOh? Didnât you want to seclude yourself in the box?ã
ãIâm ending this hide-and-seek. It doesnât suit me and I wonât be able to see Mishuly!ã
I confidently strutted and asserted a daunting stance. In the first place, if you think about it, under normal circumstances not meeting Mishuly for a day was already unbearable, but I could endure not meeting Mishuly for 3 days in the future.
I, who was liberated form the box, began walking behind Mariywa. Mariywaâs pace going out of the pantry was constant and the feeling of walking and stretching out my back was comfortable.
ãMariywaã
To her retreating figure, I called out in a small voice.
ãâ¦â¦Today, Iâll see you outã
ãOjou-samaã
It was the first time I offered Mariywa such words since her employment, but she showed absolutely no change.
ãItâs Miss Toinetteã
She said the same phrase as always without looking back. As though she was familiar with the estateâs exit, Mariywa walked towards it without any pause in her step.
ãâ¦â¦Muuã
To Mariywaâs appearance which was ramrod straight, my dissatisfaction was agitated for a moment.
ãMariywa, Mariywaã
ãâ¦â¦Haa. What is it, Christina Ojou-samaã
ãThe upcoming ball at the royal palace, I will do it perfectly. Praise me lots when I behave splendidly without a single error. This lady, Christina Noirâs name, shall resound throughout the high society. I am a child that gets better when praisedã
ãBecause Ojou-sama is a child who will get carried away when praised, I do not intend to change the current Spartan policyã
ã!?ã
Mariywa who wouldnât even whisper a semblance of gentleness, as expected was the nastiest, worst, cruelest, merciless private tutor.