Corey's P.O.V
I poured a little bit of dog food in to the bowl by the fridge. The poor dog was probably gonna croak sometime soon. He looked awful. But, I think he was happy. He was noisy, and grumpy, but whenever Ryder was around he would wag his tail a little bit and his eyes would sparkle. That dog really loved her.
I heard footsteps shuffling into the kitchen and I turned slightly. "Kelsey," I greeted.
"Fuck face," she replied.
I lifted an eyebrow. I hadn't heard her cuss before. "Wow. Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed."
"That's what happens when I see you first thing in the morning," Kelsey muttered. Suddenly her eyes locked on to the box in my hand and she stopped. "Are those Lucky Charms?"
"Uh...yeah. Why?"
She started bouncing. Here was the annoying little girl I'd been around recently. "Can I have some? Pretty please? That's my favorite cereal!"
"If," I said slowly, "you answer a few questions I have."
"Fine. Gimmie!" she squealed, bouncing again.
No one would have ever guessed that she was seventeen. I handed her the box and watched her scurry to the fridge. She was just like a squirrel. Finally, she settled at the kitchen table and looked at me with her big blue eyes, which were now shining happily. "So what questions do you have? I'm guessing they're probably about Ryder."
"Yes," I said, trying to decide on what to say next. "What's her favorite cereal?"
"She doesn't like cereal. I mean, she'll eat like three boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at a time, so I guess that would be her favorite, but she doesn't eat it for breakfast normally."
"Then what does she eat?"
"Ryder's weird about the things she eats. Normally she'll have oatmeal for breakfast, but she always talks about how much she used to love eating a bowl of strawberries and bananas in some cream. Every day she gets nachos and gets a huge portion of guacamole, but every time I ask she just tells me how much she hates it. And she won't share it, either. Then, I don't think she eats dinner. I've never seen her do it, anyway."
I nodded. "Alright. Next question. Who is Kale?" My voice was a little more steely this time. She had called me Kale last night. It bothered me a lot more than it probably should have.
Kelsey, whose eyes were set on her bowl of cereal, froze with the spoon half way to her mouth.
I waited.
She didn't say anything.
I waited longer.
She still said nothing.
"Kelsey," I said eventually. "Would you reply already?"
"He's...um...He was Ryder's...brother," she said awkwardly. "I never met him...he was, um...gone before she moved here five years ago. He...um...He was twenty, I think, and she was twelve. She...really, really loved him." Her eyes shifted away again. "She had...two brothers, actually. Kale and Cody. Cody was six at the time, I think."
Ryder had brothers...?
"When she was twelve...well...her mom was never really around much, and her dad was...mean. Ryder came home from school, and Kale was...on the floor. Of the living room. She said Cody was in his bed, and that she thought he looked like he was sleeping before she saw the blood soaking the blanket. Apparently, her father had gone crazy and killed Cody while he was sleeping since he was home from school that day, because Cody looked almost exactly like her mother did. Then Kale came inside and tried to talk to her father, but..." Kelsey's voice broke a little. "Anyway...her father killed himself after that. Ryder had...no one." She looked up at me again. They were so red. "She moved here a couple of months after that with her mother. Her mother is never around, at least I've never met her, but she pays for Ryder to live here and leaves her money sometimes for food. Other than that, I think Ryder's completely self reliant."
Ryder was alone. She had been alone for five years. My knuckles were pure white as I looked down at them now. I was shaking. She had been through all of that when she was twelve years old. She was a kid.
"I, um...my dad works for the police department. So when Ryder kept getting...well, detained, I started asking about her. He told me everything, and I felt really bad for her. I tried being nice to her, but she was never nice to me until about a year after that. She saw someone bullying me and kicked them hard enough to break their ribs. I didn't know it at the time, but Ryder was in a kickboxing class to manage her anger. She still is, but she doesn't really talk about it."
The more she talked, the more I felt like I was going to be sick.
"Bear was her brother's dog. He's eighteen now." Kelsey gave me a small, sad smile. "I'm afraid of what will happen when he dies. She's had...a lot of problems since she moved here, including self harm and...worse...but..."
"Stop," I choked out finally. "Stop it. I don't want to listen anymore."
"You asked," she murmured.
I knew that. And now I wished I hadn't asked. Ryder was...
Suddenly, a door slammed. Hard. I felt the vibrations through the counter, and the sound made me jump.
Ryder.
* * * * *
When I finally caught up to Ryder, she was almost two streets away. Her neighborhood was very widespread, so for her to be two streets away already meant that this chick had to be in track or something, because she didn't show any signs of slowing down. She kept running until she hit the tree line and disappeared. I kept chasing her, running in that general direction.
Finally, once I got around the trees, I found her. She was by a stream, her back against a tree, and she was shaking.
I didn't know what to say to her. So, I sat down with her.
She didn't move to hurt me, so I took it as a sign that she was okay with me being there. I was wrong.
"If you," she said, her voice shaking, "make fun of me, I swear to God that--"
I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She wasn't a bad person. She was just sad. She was sad, and I couldn't see it. I couldn't fix it. A moment of realization hit me, and I realized something...I wanted to make it better. For her. I wanted to fix everything, and make her smile, and see her happy. I wanted to change everything. For her. "Look, I understand that--"
"No!" she screeched suddenly, shooting to her feet.
I stood with her immediately and stared at her.
Her eyes were red. "You don't understand anything!" she yelled. "You have a family! Kelsey has a family! Neither of you can understand anything so don't you dare stand there and act like you do because I can't take it anymore! I can't take the fake people! The therapists, the doctors, the fake friends, anyone!"
"Ryder," I started.
"No!" she yelled. Suddenly, she tried to run around me.
I caught her by the waist and curled my body defensively as she tried to knee me in the stomach repeatedly. It hurt, but not as much as it would have if I hadn't been ready for her to attack me. It hurt, but not as badly as Ryder was hurting. She was in agony, and I could see it now. "It's okay," I said quietly, my face right next to her ear. I could hear her uneven, horribly choked breathing. "It's okay, Ryder. You're okay."
I could feel her shaking hard, and she was still trying to hit me, but I felt her energy fade and she eventually stopped fighting me once she realized that I wasn't going to let go of her. I used the weight of my torso to bring her to the ground, and held her against me as she shook. She wasn't crying. Her cheeks were dry. I believe that sometimes there's pain so bad that you can't even cry. I rocked her very gently for a while, and eventually she stopped shaking. She just sat there, where I had pulled her in to my lap, with her side against my chest as she curled up the best she could.
We stayed like that for a long time. I held her, and I didn't need to say anything. She managed to calm herself down, and eventually she began taking slow, deep breaths. I kept my head lightly on top of hers, holding her. Ryder didn't say anything for a long time.
"I want to go home," she said quietly.
"Okay."
I felt her shifting, but I didn't want to release her yet.
"I can't move," she murmured.
I nodded a little, and slowly unhooked my arms from around her, helping her to her feet. Never before had I seen anyone look so...fragile. Like it would take nothing to completely destroy her right now. Her eyes never met mine the whole time we walked back to her house. Running, it had taken about five minutes. The walk would take a lot longer. Not that I was in any kind of rush.
She kicked a rock in front of her a few times, keeping the same rock in front of her for as long as she could. Once we reached her street, she stopped walking.
I looked at her.
"That's Devon's car."
Following her gaze, my eyes landed on a sleek grey sports car in her driveway.
She took off suddenly, and I chased after her, but when I tried to follow her inside, Kelsey stepped in front of me. I looked down at her, and she shook her head, pushing me lightly back outside. I looked at her in confusion as she shut the door behind her. "I explained what happened to Devon," she said quietly. He's...angry. And sad. And...I don't think you should be in there when Ryder sees him this time."
"Why not?"
Kelsey ignored me and looked through the small window next to the door.
I looked as well.
Ryder had her arms wrapped around him, and now that I was focused, I could hear her crying.
Maybe it was me that should stay away from her.
Maybe I was the nightmare.