Christmas day
I wake up and grab my phone. I got my phone back late last night. I read the time to see it was about 4am and I roll my eyes.
I did some important things on my phone. Like change my lock screen (photo up top) and block Jax's number
I stayed on my phone for while and waited for Alannah to wake up. It was about 7am when Alannah woke up and she shot up straight away.
"Its Christmas!" She squeals and I put my phone down.
"Merry Christmas bub." I say pulling her into a hug.
"Go wake James up." I whisper to her and she jumps up and heads through the bathroom to James room.
I follow behind her slowly and watch as she jumps on James.
"Its Christmas. Its Christmas James wake up." She shouts whilst jumping on James bed and he just groans. James pulls Alannah down and hugs her making Alannah laugh.
"Come on get in here." James says and I roll my eyes playfully before getting into bed beside James. We then have a group hug whilst Alannah laughs.
"Merry Christmas guys." Nicole says walking into James room.
"Merry Christmas!" Alannah shouts, clearly excited. I sit up and Alannah sits on my lap.
"Can we go open our presents now?" Alannah asks.
"Sure." Nicole says.
I take Alannah's hand and we all head downstairs.
We go into the living room and Alannah runs to the Christmas tree
. She sits in front of it and starts going through the massive pile of presents.
Nicole hands me a coffee which I thank her for. Recently, I've been really obsessed with coffee. It tastes amazing and not just that the caffeine helps.
Alannah goes through the presents and gives everyone their present if she comes across it.
She was so happy about the presents but there was something wrong.
After breakfast me and Alannah took her stuff up to our room. I then get her washed and dressed for the day. I get her dressed into a white top and white tights. I then put her in a pink overall dress and sit her on our freshly made bed.
She sits playing with some of her new toys while I head into the shower.
Once I got out of the shower and blow dry and curl my hair. I get dressed Into some white and black checkered trousers. I also put on a red chunky crop top jumper. I then sit at my unit and do my makeup.
"Mama you look beautiful." Alannah says and I smile at her.
"Not as beautiful as you." I say and she giggles. We take some of her toys and head downstairs.
"Lara you look amazing." Nicole says and I smile slightly.
"Thank you." I say smiling.
Me and James play with Alannah with a few of her toys but around 1pm Alannah fell asleep.
My phone rang and I see the familiar unknown number.
"I need to take this." I say standing up and running up to my room.
"Hello?" I answer praying it is actually my father.
"Lara, sweetheart it's me." It's him.
"Dad?" I question to make sure.
"Yes sweetheart." He clarifies
"Uh merry Christmas." I say
"Merry Christmas. I thought that you would want to talk about what's about to happen." He says.
"Sure." I nod.
"I'm in London right now for Christmas. But tomorrow I'm leaving. Im going to get you and Alannah on the way home. I'll take you to Brazil where I'll tell you everything. But I won't be there until the 27th." He tells me.
"How long will I be there for?" I ask
"How ever long you want to. I want to he apart of your life again Lara. It would mean a lot to me if you came to live with me in Brazil for a while." He says and my eyes widen.
How can he say that now when he left years ago?
"You should have thought about that before you left me." I bite
"I'll explain everything as soon as I see you. I promise."
"Okay." I sigh.
"I'll see you later kiddo. Have a good day." He tells me.
"Bye." I say.
"I love you sweetheart." He says before ending the call.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to stay here in New York anymore. Not anymore, so I'm thinking of genuinely going to Brazil. I want to hear my dad's side of the story first before making any decisions.
But I don't want to stay in New York, that's for sure.
I also feel bad because I'll be leaving Nicole and David after everything they've done for me.
It makes me feel guilty but I don't think I can stay here in New York much longer.
I head downstairs into the living room where James was. David wasn't sat in the living room, he was helping Nicole with our Christmas dinner.
"You alright?" James asks and I nod and smile. We got about twenty minutes into the Grinch before I had to wake Alannah up.
After we had Christmas dinner we were all sat in the living room having a good day. Alannah was playing with some of her toys and we were all talking and laughing.
There was a knock at the door and David walked over to get it.
"Yeah but James is going to be the princess." Alannah says making me and Nicole laugh.
"Just turn around. You're not seeing them." I hear David say. He's on about us. Alannah and I. I just know it.
I stand up and walk over to the door and see David talking to Jax.
"David it's fine." I say placing my hand on his shoulder.
"No it's not." He says and I sigh.
"I need to talk to him anyway, it'll be okay I promise." I say and he sighs.
I close the door behind me and sit on the porch.
"What do you want Jax?" I ask and he sighs.
"You look nice." He says and I nod.
"I know." I say bluntly and he sighs.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing." He says and I roll my eyes.
"Alright considering the not sleeping." I admit and he sighs.
"Lara I am sorry, but it had to happen." He says and I roll my eyes.
"I just wanted to see if you'd let me see Alannah. It doesn't have to be straight away, but soon." He says and I sigh and look to my feet.
Is he joking? He came here and he hasn't really apologised and now he wants to see Alannah.
Well I have news for him.
"Jax I'm moving." I say and he looks af me shocked.
"What? You can't move." He shouts and I sigh.
"Why not?" I say and he starts pacing around.
"You can't just leave." He says and I scoff. I can and I will.
"Give me a reason why I should stay?" I ask and he stops dead in his tracks and looks at me.
"Because I love you okay? You can't just leave me here." He says and I sigh and play with my thumbs nervously.
"Jax I can't stay here after everything that happened." I say and he sits beside me and takes my hand into his.
"Where are you going?" He asks and I shrug my shoulders, pulling my hands out of his.
"Well my dads going to pick me up in a few days. Explain everything to me. I'm going to Brazil for a while and well if I like it there, maybe I'll stay in Brazil with my dad. Then if not I might go to La with James, but who knows." I say and he sighs.
"Can I see Alannah before you guys go? Maybe take her out for dinner or something please." He says and I shake my head.
"Jax I don't trust you, not anymore. And especially not with Alannah." I say and he looks at me as if I just murdered his cat.
"Are you serious?" He asks and I nod. He stands up infront of me.
"Jax you have to understand where I'm coming from. You didn't just hurt me, you hurt Alannah as well." I say and he sighs.
"Mom? Jax?" I hear Alannah say.
I spin around to see Alannah stood at the door with Nicole behind her.
"I'm sorry, I tried to stop her." Nicole says as Alannah runs over to Jax. I smile at her softly before she heads away from the door.
"Jax I didn't think I'd get to see you again." Alannah says and she cuddles into Jax.
"I know but I got you a Christmas present that I wanted to give to you." Jax says putting Alannah down. Jax gets something out of this car then gives the box to Alannah.
They sit beside me on the porch as Alannah rips open the present. I watch her eyes light up at the present from Jax. It was a yellow cuddly bear and Alannah hugged it straight away.
"Press its hand." Jax says and she follows his orders. Alannah presses his hand and looks down to to the teddy with eyes full of love.
"Hi narna, it's time for bed. I love you and just remember I'm here to help fight off your bad dreams. Sweet dreams." The teddy says in Jax's voice and Alannah starts crying.
Just before I pick her up. Jax does and he comforts her whilst she cries.
Jax puts Alannah in my arms whilst he looks at us both with sympathy.
"So this is goodbye?" Jax questions.
"Looks like it." I say and he takes a deep breath and nods.
He walks over to us and kisses Alannah forehead first. She puts her head in the crook of my neck and he then kisses my forehead.
"I still love you. I won't stop." He says and I feel my heart break a bit.
"Jax please just go." I choke out and he nods. He bids a goodbye before getting in his car.
Alannah practically cried her self to sleep that night. I go up to my room and put Alannah to bed. I change her to her pyjamas and switch the lights off when I notice James standing by my door.
"You wanna talk?" He questions and I nod and follow him into his room.
"I spoke to my dad earlier. He wants me to live in Brazil with him. I know I don't want to stay in New York any longer, so I'm seriously considering it." I tell him and James looks at me shocked.
"I know, I don't want to leave you guys behind but I seriously can't stay here anymore. It just reminds me of him too much. I don't want to be reminded everywhere I go." I say and he nods.
"It hurts. I can't sleep and he's going to be here. I don't want to run into him when we're shopping I just can't do this. I can't be here and be happy anymore. There's so many bad memories for both of us. I need to go." I tell him.
"I know I know and that's why in saying, if you need to go. I'm not going to hold you back." He says and I smile.
"I can come visit you in LA with Alannah. We'll sort this out." I say and he nods.
"Good." He says and I smile.