Song: 'Too good at goodbye' by Sam Smith
You must think that I'm stupid
You must think that I'm a fool
You must think that I'm new to this
But I have seen this all before
I'm never gonna let you close to me
Even though you mean the most to me
'Cause every time I open up, it hurts
So I'm never gonna get too close to you
Even when I mean the most to you
In case you go and leave me in the dirt
But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry
And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry
And every time you walk out, the less I love you
Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true
I'm way too good at goodbyes
I'm way too good at goodbyes
..........................................................................................................................
HANNAH'S POV
The rest of the ceremony went by in a haste state.
We exchanged rings, where my hands kept trembling while his stayed rigid and firm, an indication of our inner selves, I guess.
I know what you're thinking.
What about the kiss, right?
Well...
We didn't.
That's right! We didn't have our wedding kiss, people!
More like none of us initiated it. Honestly, it isn't a shocker, because I wasn't expecting it, and judging by his looks he wasn't either. It isn't a marriage of two people who're in this willingly, in fact, it's a marriage between two people who can't stand each other.
Seriously, no love lost here.
Ten or so minutes since I've been in his presence and I've already lost the hope of a decent relationship if you can call it that in the first place.
As for the people around us, nothing was out of place for them, too. You're wondering how?
Because the people around us were only close family who are aware of the situation and knew it's not a normal marriage, we're not into this for the sake of love but business.
There's only a bunch of people present, eight to be exact. Three of my friends, my dad, uncle brad, and aunt Claudia. And just his parents.
All these people knew the circumstances that brought us together and that we're practically strangers that happen to be married for the sake of business. If this isn't justification enough for not kissing then I don't know what is.
Still, there was one person shocked by all of this.
The minister. Probably it was the first time in his life where the newly wedded couple wasn't jumping like sex-starved bunnies over each other the minute they were pronounced man and wife.
I think he didn't get a memo. Poor guy.
After idly standing in front of everyone for a minute or two, his dad breaks the awkwardness and decided that it's time to go, and like the robots, we all followed his lead to the outside of the church.
Since this was the most awkward wedding in the history of mankind, an after-party was obviously out of question.
And an after-party for what even? It's not like there's something to celebrate.
Once we all stepped out of the church, the realization hit me hard once again.
This is it!
This is where I have to leave with him as his wife and I'm not sure I want to do that just now. I don't think I prepared for it.
I don't think I'll ever be.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when his dad approached me, kissing me on the forehead.
"You look beautiful, my dear. I'm so honored to finally call you my daughter."
His eyes held sincerity like he meant every syllable of what he said, yet the word daughter didn't sit right with me. I've heard these words before, and look where that lead me.
I stopped my mind from going back to the betrayal of a man I once loved more than my life and mumbled a small thank you.
Next came his wife, she looked a little hesitant to approach but did it anyway. She hugged me which took me off guard but as she engulfed me, an instant unknown relief washed over me. There's just something about her that brings peace to me. She has a natural aura of positivity around her.
"Welcome to the family" putting her hand on my cheek, she said in a soothing voice, warmth oozing from her whole being.
I like her already.
After letting go of me she moved towards her son and mimicking the previous action tried to reach for his cheeks in the most motherly manner possible. But he stepped back, rejecting her touch, leaving her dejected and hurt.
This son of a...!
She stepped back and nodded while smiling sadly. Uncle rick was about to say something when she put her hand on his arm and squeezed, probably to stop him from calling out his son's rudeness. He did stop but not without throwing eye daggers towards him which I can tell by the impression of his face that he's least bothered with.
Turning his attention back to me once again, he patted my head saying 'see you around' and left with his wife.
The way he held her didn't go unnoticed by me, just by that mere gesture you can tell how much they love each other.
One after the other Jay, Mila, Aunt Claudia, and Uncle Brad hugged the life out of me empathically like a soldier going on a war with no hopes of returning alive.
What can I say? We're all just naturally dramatic like that.
If it was any other day, I would've made fun of it, maybe would've been irritated by it too, but not today.
Today I needed it.
I looked towards Nick standing a little away from us, glaring at the statue of a husband I now have with the most spiteful look I've ever seen him wearing. And to tell you the truth, he was returning it with equal fervor, if not more. They both seemed like at war with each other, killing one another just by looking.
I started stepping towards Nick but when his attention snapped back to me, he made a hand gesture which stopped me right in my tracks. Once again glancing towards me and the man beside me with hostility, he left.
Ouch! Well, that didn't hurt at all...
I know Nick is angry at me for me, but I'm not worried about him, he'll come around. He always does.
I sighed with exhaustion at the irony of the situation when I saw my father making his way towards us. I'm physically and emotionally so worn out that I'm unable to show reluctance even. Still, it doesn't hurt any less, nor I want anything to do with my father any more than I already have, not yet at least.
Before my dad could reach us, the man beside me started moving away grabbing my attention. I saw him descending the stairs of the church and walking towards the awaiting car.
Dad was now standing in front of me, looking at my passive face. Kept looking at his guilty stricken and hurt features with my emotionless state.
"I know you don't want to see my face, but I just want to thank..."
"Was it all worth it?" I cut him off impassively while motioning my head towards the man he's chosen... imposed on me. he didn't answer.
"Yeah, I thought so."
Taking a hold of my dress I turned and left him standing there only to be called back by him. I was four-five steps down by that point, I stopped by didn't turn eventually.
You have to be strong, Hannah, I told myself and prepared myself. Taking a deep breath, I finally turned towards him. I tried my hardest not to break down yet my voice cracked a little.
"I'm done, dad," I saw his face crumble then and there because those weren't just words, my eye held conviction to actually mean them.
"... with you," I mumbled almost inaudibly but I know he heard me, his tears said it all. I turned around to leave, it's still not easy to watch him breakdown like that despite all he's done. But I'm nowhere near to forgive him or let the love I had for him until last week resurface. I don't see it happening anytime soon.
With that I moved towards the man who's now tied to my life, a shudder passed me just thinking how life will be once I set a foot in this car.
I've left behind a man who was my everything once to live my life with someone who's emotionless yet one emotion comes across pretty clear.
He hates me.