Chapter 48: Chapter 46

Note: ‘The one where we lost a Friend."

Today is a sad day for everyone who has grown up watching Friends or is discovering the show. Our beloved Chandler Bing left us today for his heavenly abode. The king of sarcasm is no more, yet his legacy of spreading joy remains. Though, friends will never be the same again, but we’ll never forget you, Matthew Perry, for you shall always be remembered and live in our hearts. Your life was a reminder to all of how important it is to make others laugh, regardless of your own personal demons, and what compassion can do for others. My words fall short as I bid farewell to my forever favorite character.

My heart goes out to all of his friends, family, and fans. Rest in peace, Matty!!

Song: In Loving Memory by Alter Bridge

Thanks for all

You've done

I've missed you for so long

I can't believe you're gone

You still live

In me

I feel you in the wind

You've got me constantly

I never knew what it was to be loved

Thanks for all you've done

I've missed you for so long

I can't believe you're gone and

You still live in me

I feel you in the wind

You guide me constantly

………………………………………………………………………

ELIJAH’S POV

The weekend passed, and now it’s Monday. The last two days were slow to pass, and uneventful, giving everyone time to think.

My weekend routine wasn’t any different than before, but my mind wasn’t at peace. It never is, but this time, it was triggering me to self-reflect.

What have I become? This isn’t a matter of ego anymore. I feel like I’ve lost the tiny speck of humanity left in me.

I’ve lit the fire, so why am I burning with her?

What am I to gain from this?

I know I owe her an apology. But do I really owe her?

Isn’t this the outcome of her own decisions?

If it is, then why doesn’t it feel like it, why it feels like I am the culprit?

You’re in a loop, somehow wanting to believe that you’re not the one sabotaging things.

I think I should apologize.

Before I could act on my decision, the door to my office opened, and Eva walked in.

“Are you in a better mood today?” She sat in the chair.

“What do you want, Eva?”

“I thought I'd ask if you’re still lost like yesterday,” she looked straight into my eyes, “is there anything you want to tell me?”

“No,”

“No as in you have nothing to tell or you don’t want to tell?” she inquired further.

“No as in none of your business!”

“Fine, keep sulking.” she rolled her eyes.

I ignored her as I already had a task in mind, a rather tough one—the one I’d never done before.

She knows that I’ve ended the conversation from my side but she wasn’t done yet.

“I’m hungry” She tapped her fingers on the table to grab my attention.

“So?” I pretended to read a file in front of me.

“So let’s go out,” she said as if it’s the most obvious thing.

“I’m busy,”

“You’re not, you are just ignoring me.”

“Then why are you still here?” I shut down the file.

“Because I’m crazy, that’s why! I just can’t let go of you” she said in all seriousness.""

I just looked at her to take the hint.

“It’s just lunch, Elijah... or it could be anything you want.” she opened the button of her shirt.

“Let’s stick to lunch for now.” I closed my laptop, and we left.

Getting in the elevator I pressed the button for cafeteria.

“What, why are we going there?” she made a face.

“You said you’re hungry?”

“Yeah but to go to a restaurant not here like your common employees.”

“You are my employee.”

“But not common. I assume you don’t fuck your employees.” Her foot raised across my leg as she came close to my face to kiss but I turned my face the other way. I can tell it angered her but I can’t entertain her right now.

“Not now, we’re in the office, Eva, anyone can see us.” I reasoned.

“Is it such a bad thing to be seen together?” the want in her tone was evident.

“I don’t want any scandal.”

“Since when have you been conscious about your reputation?” her question was laced with bitterness.

“I’m not.”

After a few seconds the elevator door opened and we walked out.

The whole cafeteria went silent as I entered. Some faces looked at me with envy, some with admiration, and some with lust. But there was only one person who didn’t look at me at all.

It was her.

It slipped out of my mind that now that she works with Margeret her lunch hours are the same as everyone else. She’s sitting in a group of six, four boys and one other girl.

We walked past their table and sat in the executive corner from where the whole cafeteria could be seen.

As we settled down the chef himself came to take the order. Within a couple of minutes, we were served.

Eva started talking while eating her food but my concentration was somewhere else, on someone particularly you can say.

Sitting a few tables ahead as our faces faced each other, she was engorged in her food while she talked enthusiastically among the people at her table. She really loves her food.

But what caught my eye was a guy sitting next to her, very close. He leaned further towards her and said something in her ear to which she shrugged. I didn’t realize when my fist clenched on its own.

“If you want, we can invite your wife here. You don’t need to devour her from afar.” Eva said.

“I wasn’t looking at her.” I diverted my eyes from her and took a bite of my pasta.

“So you’ve started lying too, that’s a first,” she called me out, “You know everyone here is looking at you. There are smiles passed to grab your attention, yet you’re unaware of it as you have your eyes fixated elsewhere.” she laughed a little, but there was no humor, “ But you know what is intriguing me? That she’s looking at everyone but you. You like that, don’t you? she keeps you at arm’s distance and treats you like you’re an ordinary person. And here I am, pouring my heart out to you. Is that why you take me for granted, that you don’t have to chase me?” the grudge in her voice was mixed with hurt.

“You’re reading way too much into nothing, Eva,” my words were betrayed as my eyes moved on their own accord in the accused direction.

“Yeah, I’m reading into it, “ throwing the napkin on the table, she got up, “Thanks for the lunch, Elijah." Stomping her feet, she left, making eyes turn our way. Everyone’s but hers.

I again noticed two people who were a little too close for my liking, laughing together.

Your liking?

The more I observed them, the more it irritated me. My reactions stopped making sense to me. I’ve got nothing to do with her, so why am I bothered by seeing her with someone?" The urge to go over and have a word with them became so overwhelming that it is becoming difficult to sit here. More than that, it’s confusing as to why I want to do it in the first place. To hell with her. Whoever she chooses to sit with is none of my concern.

I think your concern is not that she is sitting with someone else, your concern is how she can sit with someone else while completely ignoring your existence.

Leaving my half-eaten food, as my thoughts became more absurd, I too got up and left.

After a while, I was on my way back to the office when I stopped the elevator, remembering the task at hand.

Ignoring all the greetings as I walked passed the people working on the floor, I moved towards the studio. My eyes roamed around in search of a particular face. I guess she’s not back from her break yet. I looked at my watch to see the time and realized there were still a couple of minutes left before her lunch break ends.

Meanwhile, I sat in Marge’s room and waited.

“Are you all right?" Margaret asked as she walked in.

“Why wouldn't I be?"

“Because in less than two weeks this is your second visit here,” she said bluntly.

It’s true, I don’t come to this floor unless I am directly involved in the design process. There’s still almost a month until we start the new hotel project. Dad will be handling the rest of it as I'll head the design team on his last project .

“I came to ask about her performance?” I lied.

"Whose performance? A name wouldn’t hurt.” she quipped.

“The girl I brought here last week, are you doing as you were told?”

“The girl you brought here? With all due respect, sir, you sound like a pimp” she said sarcastically, “Her name is Hannah, I’m sure you must know it. Regarding her performance, I think I still have three more weeks before I can make an assessment. Let's just say I’m trying my best to ‘fuck her up’.”

Before I could answer, the door to Margaret’s room opened, and she walked in, but not alone.

“Hey Margaret, were we wondering if you have...?" It was the same guy as before. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Norman, I didn’t see you. I’m Daniel, it’s a pleasure to meet you, sir." Excitement was evident in his voice as he reached ahead further to shake my hand.

Too bad I don’t share his excitement, so I didn’t budge. Embarrassingly, he removed his unshaken hand.

My eyes moved past him and went to her, only to see them already looking back at me. We both looked at each other for a few seconds before she broke the silence.

“We apologize for intruding, Mr. Norman, we didn’t know you were here. Margaret, we’ll come back later." Saying this with a straight face with no emotions whatsoever, she put her hand on his arm and pulled him outside.

“Who was this?” I asked Margaret.

“That was Hannah.” she gave me a fake smile, “And that was Daniel, my new assistant, he joined 3 months ago. A very talented guy, Hannah is working with him, he and Rhea are the ones leading the interns.”

“Why is she working with him and not with you?" I asked with a clenched fist.

“Because as much as you think I’m free, I’m not. I don’t have time for interns, Elijah.”

“I didn’t like him.”

“I saw it. "She said like knowing it all.

“Fire him.”

“What? Why?" She folded her arms in complete astonishment.

“Because I’m telling you to."

“What’s going on with you, Elijah? I would not do such a thing."

“If you can’t, then I will."

“But tell me the reason, at least. I will not terminate a poor guy just because you don’t like him.”

“I’m your boss, Margaret. You will have to do as you’ve been told. Without questioning”

“Elijah, I don’t know what is wrong with you, and I’m not asking you to tell me either. But whatever you’re doing is absurd. First, you asked me to ruin Hannah’s career, and now you want me to fire Daniel. Stop playing with people’s lives just because you have power.”

I don’t know, but I didn’t like him at all. I am irrationally bothered by his presence. But why would I want to fire him? Disliking someone isn’t a good enough reason to terminate them.

I sat still as I reflected on myself. I concluded that my dislike for him was because he made her laugh, and I couldn’t see her happy. I want to see her in misery. I pledged to myself to snatch any form of joy from her. Yeah, that must be it.

Didn’t you come here to apologize to her?

Didn’t you see what happened to you after seeing her in misery?

“Okay then, let him be, but she will be working right under you from now on. "That’s an order!"

…………………………………………………………………

Sitting in my office, my mind was everywhere except at work. I swirled a glass of whiskey as I thought of my contradictory behavior. Nothing is making sense. My actions are opposing my feelings.

Do I need to apologize? I don’t think so. She didn’t look much affected, to be honest. In fact, seemed quite happy.

The image of a tear-stricken face made my whole body stiff, the memory of it haunting me. I gulped the remaining drink, the burns it left in my throat were incomparable to the burns I feel throughout my body.

I hate her with all my might, but can I live with the burden of insulting someone over their deceased mother?

The moral dilemma I’m going through is no less than a battle.

Doing the right thing despite the hatred I have for her is weighing heavily.

After two more drinks and a lot more contemplation, I picked up the phone and dialed a number.

“Send her to my office with a file, Marge.”

“What file?”

“Any.”

With that, I ended the call and waited for her.

The question still bothers me as it rings in my mind.

Why should I apologize if hurting her is all I ever wanted?