Chapter 91: Chapter 86

NOTE: Before you all get mad, let me make it up to you by saying that it's a LONNNNNNG chapter, probably a size of two chapters or maybe more. So bring all your snacks out, it'll bea long read and steamy too.

There will be no author's note at the end but don't forget to leave endless comments, votes, and share with others.

I'm looking forward to reading your feedback.❤️

Enjoy, Elihannahittes! (Did I say it right? Whatever)

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Song: 'Take My Hand' by Emily Hackett

I've never really known what love is

But whatever it is, I feel it in your kiss

You waltzed in like somebody planned it all

I feel right where I belong

My knees are weak

My heart is strong

So gimme your word

And I'll give you all I've got

No, we don't have much

But it sure feels like a lot

So, take my heart and take my hand

Take my heart and take my hand

Take my heart and take my hand again, and again

Right where we stand

........................................................................

"Since when did you start wearing glasses?”

"What the hell, Mila? Get out of my bag!" I snatched the bag from her hand but couldn't take the glasses because she was already wearing them.

"Oh, custom-made, nice. They are not that powerful, though." Wearing it, she commented, checking herself out in the mirror.

"Give them back, Miles. These aren't mine." I tried to catch her, but she dodged.

"I know; they are mine now," she said, slipping out of my grip.

"Absolutely not! Give them back before you break it, bitch."

"Come on, you're fighting me for a pair of glasses? I know they’re expensive, probably limited edition, but come on, please," she tried to guilt-trip me.

"I'm fighting you because they are Elijah's!" I blurted out.

Urgh, now she'll be all over me.

"Oh, Elijah's, huh?" she said, fluttering her eyes. "Is that how you get yourself off when he's not around?" Her eyes went wide. "Eww!" She threw them on the floor like they stung or something.

"Gross, Mila," I picked up the specs and inspected them for potential damage.

Putting them back in my bag carefully, I flopped on the bed tiredly, not in the mood to fight her anymore. Mila sat beside me, observing me.

“Come on, spill the beans,” she said, knowing something was bothering me.

“I’m tired, Miles; I just want to sleep.” I flipped on my stomach and buried my face in the pillow, trying to avoid this conversation.

“Yeah, not buying it. I know there’s something on your mind; you’re an open book. All of us noticed during dinner how lost and quiet you were.” Lying next to me, she rested her arm flat and propped her head on her hand.

“I’m fine,” I said, turning my face towards her.

“Why are you so upset? This weekend was supposed to be fun like old times. We rarely get time to be together, but if you’re not okay, then neither of us will enjoy either.” she said with concern.

“I don’t know, Miles,” I said, giving up. “Everything is so confusing. Just when I think things are getting better, something or other happens, and we’re back to square one.”

“What do you mean?”

I sighed and told her everything that happened today and on our LA trip, even the graphic details of our make-outs too.

“Wow, girl, you’re finally getting some action,” she sighed dreamily.

“I’m not, Eva is,” I said sulking.

“Hmm, I don’t think so. I think he’s telling the truth. The way I see it, the guy definitely has the hots for you,” she grinned.

“Shut up, Miles, I’m serious.”

“I’m also serious. Hannah, do you realize your life has become like that of a romantic novel? It has all kinds of twists and turns, ups and downs. You even have an antagonist too; I mean, who has that? And on top of it all, you have a hero exactly like you wanted!” she tried painting a brighter picture.

“I never wanted a person like him,” I retaliated.

“Did you not? All your life you’ve fantasized about men you read in novels, rigid and arrogant, turning caring and romantic. Elijah is exactly that, toxic yet redemptive,” she pointed out.

Is this true? Is he what I’ve wanted all my life?

Well, he’s much more than that.

“Those were fantasies, Miles; this is the reality,” I said in my defense.

“Only a few of us get to live our fantasies. Despite the circumstances, you’re that lucky one. Make the most of it, my friend!” She said sincerely.

“I can’t, you know that,” I said vulnerably.

“You can, Hannah,” she held my hand, assuring me, “Don’t deny yourself the happiness that you deserve. Don’t let your fears get in your way. We want to see you happy; give it a chance. Give him a chance.”

“It’s not worth it. I’m not ready for it.”

“Not ready for it? Who are you fooling, Hans? From what you’ve just told me, you’re more than ready. You’re just afraid to let go and listen to your heart. As I see it, he’s trying, in his own weird way, but he’s trying; it’s you who's holding back.”

“He’s still with Eva; do you want me to beg him or just be his mistress?” I asked, getting offended.

“I want you to be open with him and talk instead of playing cat and mouse and pushing him away.”

“Talk to him about what? He made it very clear that we would never have anything between us. All we have between us is purely sexual, which is not okay with me.” this was the first conversation we had after our wedding.

“If he only wanted you in his bed, he would’ve done that by now, and even you won’t be able to resist him, you know that.”

“There’s no need to complicate things more than they already are for something that can never happen, nor do I want them to happen. It’s okay; it’s just nineteen more months, and then none of this would matter.”

“You’re so stubborn, you know that?” Why is she talking like him? “You will ignore your and his feelings because of your so-called protection mechanism and won’t even give a chance to something that can be beautiful. All because you made a pact to never get in a relationship when you were not even a teenager."

"I don't want to end up like my father; I'd rather not have pain than deal with it. Besides, I'm happy this way."

"Are you, really?" Her question caught me off guard. Am I happy? "I don't know how he feels about you; maybe you are right; maybe he's just playing around. But you owe it to yourself to know if he's not. Don't punish yourself for the mistakes of your father," she held my hand and squeezed it gently. "Stop pushing people away. Love is a beautiful experience; even if it causes hurt, it's worth it."

"I can't; it's not that easy. I don't want to sign up myself for hurt when I know that's all I'll ever get." I know I sound like a broken record, but I just can't let myself fall into the trap of love.

"Just because Uncle Zach dealt with it poorly doesn't mean you will too. Choose a different path, make better choices, but at least take that first step without thinking of the last.  You've turned every guy down that has shown a speck of interest in you just so you can avoid getting hurt."

"Yeah, and it worked out perfectly for me," I said, somehow trying to salvage myself.

"Locking yourself in a cage and saying you're free isn't freedom, Hannah. You have to step out of your comfort zone and into the real world."

"Easier said than done, Miles. You won't understand; you haven't lived a life I've had."

"Oh my God, Hannah, can you for once look beyond your emotions and fears? Do you think only you have issues? Look around, everyone's got their own shit to deal with, just different than yours. Not everything can be about you and your feelings. You have daddy issues, fine, we understand, but stop meddling on them and move on. If you keep at it and keep pushing away those who love you, you'll end up alone, and it won't be anyone's fault but yours." I stared at her in disbelief; what she said hit a nerve.

I saw regret flash in her eyes, but she masked it and maintained a strong face.

"That is what I want, Miles. I don't want to be with someone and fear when they'll leave me. I'd rather not get into it at all." I felt my gaze harden as I tried to do the same with my heart, but for some reason, it decided to side with her rather than me.

I know what she's saying isn't wrong, but she's not understanding me.

"Are you hearing yourself right now? No one is leaving you, and even if they did, it would be because of your constant inability to trust people. I'm sorry, but you're not so special that he'll keep waiting for you to grow up. It's better if he gets on with Eva than with an immature girl like you who's so consumed by her fears that she refuses to see the love around her. And don't look at me like that, I don't care because you needed a reality check before it's too late."

"How dare you say that to me?" I threw a pillow at her that hit her face hard, "You're his friend or mine?"

"Unfortunately yours," she replied as the shock of being hit hard wore off, "Now, listen to me, you little punk. You're going to pick up your cell phone and talk to him," she ordered in her stern voice.

"He could've done it too," I said in a small, disappointed voice.

"He did; you didn't pick up," she pointed out.

"Just once," I defended.

"And now you're going to do it, you understand," she pointed a finger at me as she leaned over me intimidatingly and stared at me like she meant business. It's a look neither of us can fight.

"Alright," I bowed my head in defeat. "Hey, wait, where are you going?" I asked as she got down from the bed and headed towards the door.

"Do not think I'm spending my night away with you. Jason's waiting for me in our room. Unlike you, I'm actually very secure in my relationship," she bragged, teasing me, "I still crave the touch of my man after all these years. Bye!" She said in a sing-song voice as she bid me farewell, her eyes gleamed with love and mischief.

"Bitch!" I again threw the pillow at her, but until then she had already closed the door behind her.

I dropped my head back on the pillow as I stared at the ceiling; her words weighed heavy on me, scratching my insides like thorns. I want to get rid of all these feelings caused by Mila's outburst and Elijah's actions. I'm so accustomed to being numb towards my feelings and putting them at the back of my head like they don't matter. But this time it's different; they are stronger than ever and harder to ignore.

What do I do? Is Mila right?

You know she is.

Can Elijah and I be more than contractually married?

"And if you think I was toying with you, then there’s no point to all this. Because it’s not about what you saw; it's about what you wanted to see. No matter what I say, it won’t change anything because you have already made up your mind.”

Should I let my walls down and trust him, give him a chance?

Give us a chance?

After endless tossing and turning, I finally give in at around midnight. Maybe it's time to let my heart take that lead for once; I don't want to regret anything.

Hesitantly, I picked up my cell phone and dialed his number.

My heart raced as it continued ringing, anticipating what I would say to him once he picked up the call.

Do I ask him for an explanation, or should I...

"Look at the time before you call someone, Hannah," I instantly ended the call, and my cell phone dropped out of my hand, hitting the carpeted floor.

My heart sank when it heard a different voice than his, a woman's voice.

Eva's voice.

Did he bring her to our house just because I'm not there?

I felt a bile stuck in my throat, making it harder for me to breathe, and my whole body broke down into uncontrollable shivers. I rubbed my chest as the painful stinging in my heart increased with each passing second; my eyes forgot to blink as relentless tears flowed out of them.

Sitting on the bed, I hugged my knees to my chest to somehow pacify myself, but nothing worked. The walls of the rooms started closing down on me to the point of becoming suffocating.

Deciding I couldn't take it any longer, I wrapped a shawl around my shoulder to give myself a false sense of warmth and comfort, and I stepped out of the house.

As I stepped out in the silence of the night, only the calm sound of waves and the distant chirping of crickets could be heard. Wandering around aimlessly, I saw someone quietly sitting on the wooden deck looking at the peaceful nature. Thinking I'd wallowed in my misery enough, I decided to sit next to him.

"Fuck, it's cold," I gasped as soon as my feet touched the cold lake water.

"Give it some time; it'll get better," he said, taking a puff of his cigarette followed by a swig of his beer.

"Will it, Nick?" I looked at him with hopeful eyes.

He knew I wasn't talking about the water temperature, for he just shrugged in response.

"Why are you up so late?" he asked instead and offered me his cigarette, which of course I refused.

"I can ask you the same thing," I questioned back.

"Just needed a fresh breath of air," he sighed, looking ahead.

"You're smoking a cigarette, idiot." Taking the half-smoked stick from his hand, I threw it in the water.

Both of us stared at the orange flame, trying to put up a fight to stay lit for longer, but succumbed to its fate before it was completely consumed by the water.

"Well, that gave up," I said, taking in the drowning stick.

"Have you?" Nick searched my eyes with a meaningful look.

"I'm trying to hold on, to somehow keep the spark alive, but it's not enough apparently, and I don't know if I have a fight left in me anymore," I said, staring blankly at the hypnotizing water. "What about you? Why are you out here in the dead of the night?" I changed the topic.

"There's a girl I met in Germany when I went there last time," he said after a long pause, a pleasant yet sheepish smile plastered on his face.

"Oh my God, shut up, no way!" I lunged at him and hugged the life out of him, and for the first time, he let me. "Tell me everything," I said, feeling happy for him.

"You know me," oh, I do, don't I? That's what makes it more shocking, pleasantly, though. "I didn't think it was anything serious until it was," he raked his hands in his hair shyly.

"So the playboy is finally ready to settle down, huh?" I elbowed him teasingly.

"If only it was that easy," huh? "She has her life there, and I have mine here; it's too early in our relationship. I thought it would be easy, but this long distance is killing me," he said seriously.

"Do you love her?" I asked.

"I don't know, it's too early to tell, but it's definitely different than all my previous flings. Fuck, it's scary," he visibly shuddered.

"Aww, aren't you a cutie?" I pulled his cheek lovingly. "I never thought I'd see you like this. Now, tell me, when do I get to meet her?"

"Never, oh no no, God no!"

"How rude!" I pushed him away, but he laughed it off and pulled me in for a hug.

We sat there till dawn catching up on each other's lives. It didn't change anything in my life, but it definitely diverted my attention from the pain my heart was feeling.

The next morning I was woken up by the ringing of my phone, but I was too sleepy to give a damn. Without opening my eyes, I pressed the mute button instead of cutting the call. It must be Mila or Jason trying to wake me up to go for a hike; they didn't know we slept after dawn.

It didn't take me long to fall back asleep, but again I was woken up by the constant vibration of my phone. Groaning angrily, I opened my eyes and saw the caller ID.

Elijah.

Bastard, what does he want from me now?

Too angry to even see his name, I put my cell phone on silent and threw it away on the bed before I went back to sleep.

Once I woke up around lunchtime, I freshened up, picked up my cell phone, and headed down to meet others. It was then that I checked my phone and saw eighteen missed calls from Elijah in the span of three hours.

My head instantly went to think if he was okay or not.

Well, why should I care? He's with his girlfriend, what would he need me for?

Ignoring it, I went to join my friends for lunch when my cell phone went off again.

What does he want from me?

To enjoy my meal peacefully, I cut the call.

From across the table, I saw Mila scowl at me, and I challenged her stare with a hardened one. Meanwhile, Nick and Jay exchanged confused looks.

Apparently, Elijah can't take the hint that I don't want to talk to him because my phone rang repeatedly, not once but about four times.

Deciding I'd had enough of it, I excused myself from the curious gazes of people and went out to attend his call.

"What do you want?" I lashed out instantly.

"Where the hell have you been? I've been calling you all morning," Oh God, the audacity of this man.

"Get to the point, I don't have time for this," I said in a rage that I'd felt all night.

"I need to talk to you," came his grim voice.

"I don't want to hear anything, you can go to hell for all I care," He should talk to his girlfriend all he wants. "Bye!"

"Wait!" I don't know why, but I stopped.

He didn't say anything for a while; only the faint sound of his breathing could be heard like he was unsure of what to say. I heard him sigh before he finally opened his mouth.

"I need the Cadmore group's documents, I can't find them." I noticed a shift in his tone.

Is he for real? Is that why he's been blowing off my phone all morning, for a file?

And here I thought...

Never mind, I can't with him.

"You know what? You're a piece of shit, you asshole!"

"Hannah, listen..." I cut the call before he could degrade me further.

I switched off my phone for the rest of the trip.

........................................................................

For the rest of my short vacation, I tried my hardest to enjoy it for the sake of my friends and my own sanity. I was glad to be away from my life and from him, I needed this distraction.

Seeing my mood, Mila didn't say anything, nor did she bring him up again, and I was thankful for it.

We left on Sunday evening but I went to Mila and Jason's place instead of returning home.

Monday came, and I was back in the office. Still not in the mood to face him, I ditched my office that's next to his and rather opted for the coworking space that our office has.

It's a cool space for us creative minds to sit in when our offices and cabin feel enclosed, the room has glass walls overlooking the nature outside, and the sunlight seeping in is a great way to catch up on our vitamin D needs.

I've often been to this place where we occasionally hang out and catch up on office gossip but never for work. But today I've planned to spend my day here and work.

And that's what I'm doing; well, working and talking with my colleagues from different departments.

I was standing in a group of four people when a voice echoed in the giant hallway, capturing everyone's attention.

"WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR PHONE NOT REACHABLE?" no, it wasn't said with outrage but with clenched teeth, it was asked in a calm tone but with a concealed yet seething anger. Anger is the only thing I can feel.

Everyone turned around to see who was the recipient of this lovely greeting from their boss. Everyone except me.

"I don't know, must be a signal issue."  I lied to him, which he didn't buy, for he bore holes in me with his gaze only.

He walked up to where I was standing and did something I never expected him to do, at least not in front of everyone.

Amidst the sea of people surrounding us, he covered the distance we had between us and stood in front of me.

Not able to look him in the eye, I broke the eye contact and turned my head away. His intense gaze, along with all the eyes we had on us, made me nervous, and my stomach churned in anticipation.

"You're coming with me," With that, he held my hand and started walking away while tagging me along like a stray sheep.

"What are you doing?" I whispered from behind once the initial shock wore off. As usual, his Highness, the mighty Elijah Alexander refused to answer and continued walking, ignoring the shocked gasps of people watching.

"Mr. Norman, stop it now; everyone's watching." I hissed.

"It's Elijah," he turned all of a sudden, his fierce gaze ready to consume me, "Now shut up and walk," He resumed walking with no plans to let go of my hand; his grip wasn't harsh, but it was enough to keep me at bay.

"Like hell, I'll shut up. I'm not your servant that you can boss around. Now stop creating a scene and let me go," I tried to release my hand from his hold but to no avail. "Elijah, let go, or I'll..."

"What, scream? Go ahead. It'll capture all the attention that you so never wanted." Only I could hear his voice.

Shook! How dare he use it against me, and rightfully so.

So I did the next best thing that I could think of.

With my free hand, boring my nails in his flesh enough to leave a mark, I pinched his wrist, HARD!

That should get results.

It didn't.

The bastard didn't even budge; the more pressure I applied, the more it became clear to me that he was immune to feeling any pain.

Again, there was silence; he didn't react at all to the pain I was inflicting. He led me to the presidential elevator. Now, it was just the two of us, away from prying eyes.

"Who do you think you are, huh?"  I withered my wrist in his hand and pushed him with my free hand.

As expected, the hulk of a man didn't budge one bit; instead, he continued facing the door. I, on the other hand, kept looking at him, trying to decipher his motives behind this shameless audacity.

We quickly reached our floor since there were only a few floors between us.

"No one should disturb us," he ordered to a shocked-looking Casey as he dragged me toward his office.

Damn, what is he going to do with me? And why am I more intrigued than scared?

Casey raised her eyebrows in confusion, and all I could do was shrug, not knowing what else to tell her.

"Enough, Elijah! What is this behavior? Are you insane?" I lashed out the second we stepped into his office.

"What do you think?" I flinched as he suddenly pushed me against the adjacent wall and banged the door closed.

I didn't realize when he intertwined our fingers together, but I didn't try to break them apart; his big hand holding my small one felt complete. The erratic thumping of my heart reminded me of his effect on me; no matter how hard I tried to stay angry at him, having him near and this close replaced all the irritation with an unknown fluttering of my heart and anticipation that I always felt with him.

"This is for the cheap stunt you pulled... and this" he showed me his bruised wrist with my nail marks. He moved my hair away from the shoulder to reveal my bare neck, his breath tickled as he whispered in my ear, his tone was harsh yet sensual, "Tell me, what should be your punishment?" His rough and husky voice sent chills down my spine.

But before I could ponder on his barely audible words, he diverted my attention completely by placing a soft yet lingering kiss on the side of my neck. His expert lips left a delicious burning sensation on the spot.

I let out a suppressed yet pleasurable sigh, and my grip tightened on our holding hands. I didn't know that a simple touch of his would make me this weak in the knees.

My heart testified how much my body had missed his touch for the past two days, something that my mind turned into frustration.

"What are you doing, Elijah? It's not right," I weakly protested not knowing if I meant it or not.

"Is it not?" came a muffled sound from his lips. I squirmed as he kissed my sweet spot repeatedly, rendering me all sensible thoughts. Is this his way of punishing me? Because it's working. "Do you realize how worried I was when you didn't come home last night and your number wasn't reachable either?" what, he was worried about me?

"I... I didn't think you would notice," I was barely able to get my words out, the pleasure his lips were giving me was making me lose my mind.

"Oh, I noticed, I noticed it very much," I moaned uncontrollably when he bore his teeth into my skin that was bound to leave a mark.

What is he doing, why is he doing it? These were the questions going on at the back of my head, but they didn't seem important enough for me to find their answers.

"Don't stop, please, don't stop," I said, vulnerable and lost in the moment. I realized that I'd rather said it out loud and not in my head as I intended to.

"Oh, baby, I'm not planning to," With that, his lips captured mine, and I reciprocated without wasting a second. Before either of us could reach our high, he broke the kiss, leaving me wanting more. He teasingly rubbed his lips with mine, not enough to touch but leaving me craving for more, a lot more.

He knows what he's doing. It's not a punishment, it's torture.

Finally, ending my misery, he fully engulfed my lips, and our tongues moved in harmony. It was a needy kiss, full of want and desire. A kiss that evoked every cell of my body and set it on fire. It was fulfilling but not enough. Every thought left my mind as our lips moved in sync, wanting more from each other.

He kissed me like he missed me.

Huh, what a weird rhyme and even weirder thought.

Him, missing me? Impossible.

I felt the racing of his heart when he finally let go of my hand only to snake his muscular arms around my petite waist, possessively closing any gap that our bodies might have had between them before.

I tried to get more comfortable since I knew we'd be at it for a while, I wrapped my arms around his neck, my feet tip-toeing as I tried to diminish the barriers of our height difference. My hand held his head, encouraging his actions.

But he had other plans because, in one swift motion, while still embracing me, he picked me off the ground with ease, my legs automatically wrapped themselves around his torso like it was the only thing they'd ever known.

One minute we were making out against the wall, and the next thing I knew we were still making out, but now we were on the sofa, all the while with our lips still devouring each other,

My fumbling hands on their own accord took hold of his tie trying to loosen it as he hovered over me, his broad and firm body pressing my petite figure into the sofa seat that despite it being a concise space it felt like the most comfortable place to make love.

Elijah took matters into his own hands and pulled at his tie in one go that my rookie ass couldn't do and held both my wrists with one hand over my head.

Roaming all over the length of my arm, his hands desperately made their way to unbutton my shirt while his skilled lips now explored my neck, placing ruthless kisses on the exposed area of my skin. My breath hitched when his hands lightly made contact with my tender breasts, making them go hard instantly; it was a sensation like no other.

My body trembled under him with desire. Never moving the fabric away, he left lingering kisses between the valley of my breast. It only added fuel to the fire; the tension between our bodies continued growing as he made his way down to my clothed stomach. Thousands of erotic thoughts and scenarios raced in my head.

And amongst all those, one took the lead and reached the finishing line.

An image of him and Eva, together in bed all weekend.

That woke me up from the dream that I was living in, and my brain finally registered what was happening.

Fuck! What am I doing?

So, with all my might, I pushed him away and sat down on the sofa. Not able to meet his eyes and feeling exposed, I shyly and embarrassingly faced the other way and tried to button my shirt with wobbly hands. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself as I tried to stabilize the loud thumping of my heart.

For God's sake, we're in the office!

"Urgh," raking a hand in his disarrayed hair, he groaned in frustration, "What is wrong with you? This is the nth time you're putting a stop..." Too overwhelmed, I cut him off.

"What is wrong with you, you horny pervert?" I said, facing back to him.

"Mind your language, Hannah." How about we mind our bodies, you freak?

"You of all the people have no right to lecture me about manners."

He didn't retort, giving us both some time to get back to our senses.

"Where were you all night?" His tone was grave.

"You bastard, what do you care where I was when you were busy spending your weekend with your damn girlfriend?"

"I spent my weekend with whom?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Don't act so innocent with me. I know you were with Eva the whole weekend I was away," cutting to the chasing, I answered straightforwardly.

"Was I? I must not have noticed," he found it amusing? Well, I didn't.

"So you're cheating on your wife with your girlfriend or on your girlfriend with your wife?" I didn't care. If I sound jealous, so be it.

"For the last time, Eva is not my girlfriend. We just have a sort of an arrangement. There are no strings attached," he said, moving closer to me.

"She's your mistress! How is that better? And don't be a fool; she certainly has her strings attached to you. You both look good together." I said getting uncomfortable at the thought of them alone, but it was true.

Eva and Elijah, even their names sound good together.

"Can we put her aside and talk about us?" Holding my hand, he said gently this time.

"Can you?" I looked at him with hopeful eyes. "I'm sure you must have had an unforgettable weekend," I said, unable to look past it.

How can he kiss me so passionately and then go on to have sex with her? Can he be so heartless?

"My weekend was, in fact, spent alone and boring; you weren't home, remember?" I involuntarily blushed at his flirting. Dammit, I'm supposed to be angry at him!

"You're a liar; you certainly were busy canoodling." There's no way he can fool me.

"Canoodling, seriously, what are you, eighty-five?" What has gotten into him? Can't he judge my mood? " Besides, who told you I was, as you say, canoodling?" Holding his chin, he was intrigued.

"Your "arrangement"," I made quotation marks as I snickered.

"Eva?" he pretended like it was news to him.

"Do you have other arrangements too? Of course, you do, yikes." I made a disgusted face.

"Stop thinking, will you? It doesn't suit you." Asshole, he's insulting me again.

"Get lost, I don't want to talk to you." Jerking his hand away, I got up from the sofa when he pulled me back.

My body stumbled from the impact, but I held onto his shoulders to keep myself from falling, his hand never letting go of mine. I got nervous when his eyes landed on my swollen lips again and traveled down to my neck and then to my cleavage. I saw his Adam's apple move as he gulped.

Am I turning him on?

Umm, you think?

Thank God I recovered back to my senses before other parts of our bodies did the thinking for us. Nope, not going to let it happen again. I settled myself back on the sofa again, but this time I didn't try to put a distance between us.

"Listen to me, Hannah, once and for all, because I won't repeat myself again," he said seriously like he meant business; the playfulness from moments ago was gone. "Nothing happened between Eva and me on the weekend, and neither did anything happen between us on that day; you just walked in on us at the wrong moment."

"You mean something would've happened if I didn't walk in on you two that day?" I said furiously, "Well, I'm sorry for being a cockblocker," I spat in exasperation without realizing it.

"You were, but not with Eva." I sensed his eyes on me, and only when I looked at him did it occur to me what I had said.

Wait, are his ears red? Is he blushing?

Am I blushing?

What is happening?

"Then why did she pick up your phone when I called you at midnight?" I asked lowly; the fluttering of butterflies in my stomach seized, and pangs of hurt overtook me.

"You called me?" His voice raised by a decibel like he didn't know, I nodded in confirmation, "Oh God, is that why you didn't come home last night because you thought I was with her?" Either he's slow to understand things or he's genuinely confused. Judging by his cluelessness, I'm putting my bet on the latter.

"Nothing happened between us, you understand, nothing," he emphasized as his gaze penetrated my soul. "We were out on a formal event together. That's it? What?

"What event? Don't you think I would've known about it if there was one? Don't forget I'm your personal assistant." Does he think I'm stupid?

"I said formal event, not business," closing his eyes, he rubbed his forehead, and his face broke into turmoil before reaching a conclusion. Hesitantly, he started again, "Eva and I started a non-profit organization together almost five years ago. It was an event to raise funding for our drug abuse center, to which we went together, nothing else." His eyes reflected sincerity that vanished all the doubts from my head.

"Why didn't you tell me then?" I asked abruptly, not knowing where this hurt came from.

"It had nothing to do with you."

"Well, thank you for showing me my place." So this is my value in his life, huh? And here I thought... never mind.

"Hannah, wait. I didn't mean it like that," he stopped me before I could get up again, "I meant, not many people know about it, and I like to keep it that way. It's something very personal to us," he explained.

"Good to know I'm as basic for you as everyone else." What did I expect, that he'd let me in on his personal life?

"You're right, I should've told you," he said, caressing my cheek, "I'm sorry." One minute he brings me up, the other he brings me down; life with him has become a seesaw, I swear.

"Even so, it still doesn't explain her hands on your dick." He choked on his saliva, and his eyes bulged out, not expecting me to say it so casually. "I mean, her hands on your phone," I tried my hardest to recover from it, but the reddening of my cheeks didn't make it easy at all.

Look at you two fighting like the husband and wife that you are.

"My cell phone was inside the car with her while I bid farewell to some donors; that's the only time she could've had access to it." This is so absurd to be real; should I trust him? " And as for the former, I was still in the daze of our kiss that she just caught me off guard, and before I could comprehend it or stop her, you walked in and misunderstood everything. Both situations are just a case of bad timing," he was calm as a cucumber. "Trust me, nothing happened, I dropped her at her place and I slept at mine, alone."

Is he actually explaining himself to me? TO ME!

How did that happen? Some time ago he didn't want to see my face, let alone bother talking to me, and now he's giving me justifications.

"So even if she does something good, she just can't keep her hands off you, bitch." His eyes flashed with amusement, but I didn't give a damn.

"Why, are you jealous?" A smile tugged on the corner of his lips as he leaned his forehead against mine; his minty breath enticed me and made me nervous.

"Why would I be jealous?" I tried to play it off coolly, which he didn't buy.

"And that's why I didn't tell you. I can never tell if you care or not. It always bothered me that you were least bothered, let alone be jealous, when I actually was with Eva."

"What else did you want me to do, huh? Beg for your attention like a cheap, desperate slut that you thought I was?" I said remembering what we have isn't real.

"No, that's not what I meant. I..." He was at a loss for words, but his hands refused to let go of my face. "We have a lot to talk about.  But don't worry about Eva; I'll handle her; she won't bother you again. She's not a bad person, Hannah," he assured me.

"Is that so? You're still siding with her." I said, thinking back to all those times she's insulted me, "Why don't you wife her up if she is so good?" How dare he defend her in front of me?

"No need, I already have one." Why does he look so sexy when he flirts? It's exhausting to not get distracted. Focus, Hannah.

"So you would rather fuck her than marry her. Wow, Elijah, you're a bloody gentleman," I poked his chest.

"I'm not fucking her, Hannah!" His grip tightened immensely on my arms. "I'm not fucking anybody! Don't you get it?" I flinched at his raised voice, unable to look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you." His expression softened when he noticed the fear on my face. He pulled my reluctant body closer and embraced me possessively, comforting my racing heart.

I rested my head against his hard chest, his even heartbeat soothing me instantly. Wrapping his arms around me, he kissed my forehead and put my head in the crook of his neck.

I wish I could stay in this moment forever; the peace and comfort I feel now was something I've craved for a long time, a feeling of belonging.

"This feels nice. Let's stop fighting, huh?" His hands caressed mine absent-mindedly, and his words warmed my insides.

"I mean, I won't mind. We can be friends," I offered generously. What else could we be?

"With benefits?" I know what you did there, "Though, you'd be the first girl who wants to be my friend by choice." I felt him smile.

"Oh, get off of your high horse of hotness." Smiling, I elbowed his stomach.

"It's true, I can't help it," ugh, this show-off narcissist.

"Oh, I know, I've seen the list." I couldn't help but feel resentful, "And I've seen it myself too," the very night of our wedding, in fact. My stomach churned at the ugly memory.

"I just made a statement in front of everyone, and you're still questioning me? Tell me, when have you seen me holding Eva's hand publicly or any girl's for that matter?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"That's because you want to embarrass me in front of everyone," what else could it be?

He slumped against the sofa back and pulled at his hair in frustration. I looked at him in confusion.

"Why do you always think I'm on a mission to embarrass you?"

"Because you promised me a fall and you stayed true to your words," I gulped hard. I want to trust him, but there's so much history that I can't put it behind me.

"Hannah, I'm sorry. Please, stop holding on to those words," a look of guilt passed through his face. "We've come far ahead from there."

"How can I when you've never said anything else to change that?" I looked away from him.

"I haven't said? What am I doing now? Leaving all my important meetings on a Monday morning, I'm sitting here with you, trying my hardest to communicate with you, explaining myself, which I've never done before, and you're still stuck on what I bloody said fucking three months ago?" My eyes refused to let go of his. Is he saying he's changing for me?

"And what about you?" He didn't wait for me to reply, "When have you ever said anything? You just back out at any given moment, shutting yourself away, repulsive to my touch." As much as I didn't want to feel the guilt of his accusations, I can't help but self-reflect, and it does sentence me as a culprit.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously.

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about," he slowly and sensually dragged his hand up my arm, causing fireworks in my heart and goosebumps on my body. "You know you want this; you're just afraid to accept it. Tell me, what are you afraid of, baby? Talk to me," his hand stopped at the freshly created hickey; he caressed it with the right amount of pressure, and my breathing got heavier with each second. "You like this, don't you?" I trembled as his breath trickled into my ear.

"Stop it, please. Why are you doing this?" What does he want to prove?

"To prove to you that no matter what you say, your body reacts to my touch," he nuzzled his nose with mine intimately, he licked his lips, and my body lost all sense of restraint it once knew so well. "And even if you deny it, you still crave my touch... as I crave yours." Placing his lips on mine, he leads the kiss once again.

He didn't need to do much; my desperate lips did the talking for me, and my limbs were like a puppet in his hands at his mercy. And everything inside me thanked him for the adrenaline bliss his touch was causing. I had no defense to refute what he claimed so boldly.

"You like it when I do this?" He kissed me all over my face and neck. He untucked my shirt that, despite seeing so much action, was still neatly tucked in my pants.

I weakly nodded when his long and commanding fingers traced patterns on my bare flesh, making me a moaning mess at his slightest touch.

"Don't resist me, princess; let go." My body was already at his mercy, and after that, my mind was too; it was consumed by all the incredible things his fingers were capable of doing.

His other hand traveled up and down my leg creating friction, until they were settled near my pool of heat. He knew exactly what he was doing for he never touched me there, but somehow I was clenching my core the hardest, afraid if he even slightly grazed it, there would be no coming back from it.

Mila will regret ever lending me her clothes; she's not getting these back, that's for sure.

"Tell me," he continued drawing slow circles with his palm on my inner thigh, knowing very well the effect it had on me, "Am I making you wet?" He whispered huskily in his sexy voice near my neck, causing delectable shivers with his words and actions. My eyes rolled so far back in my head at the pleasure he was giving me that if I had gone blind at that very moment, I wouldn't have been able to notice.

Wet, you say? I am afraid that right now if your hand moves by an inch further, I'll be solely responsible for causing a tsunami.

I've never felt this way, so wanted by someone that I'm ready to lose myself in him, in his touch. I don't know much about physical attraction, but I'm sure no one else can make me feel the way he does.

Everything about his touch is magical. I guess; now I know why he's such a bragging bastard.

"Elijah..."I cou;d only manage to say his name; the rest of the English vocabulary sounded foreign. I could only remember his name.

"Not like this, Baby, I want to hear you scream my name when I'm done with you." He sure knows the art of bringing me to the edge. "Rest assured it won't be in my office on this lousy couch," he said in his normal masculine and unaffected voice.

He retrieved his hands from the delicious assaults he was doing on my body and leaned back, creating some space between us before he kissed me for the last time on my forehead.

"Let's get back to work." He looked at his watch. How can he be back to himself in literally no seconds? "Here, have some water." He got his glass of water for me and sat in front of me on the center coffee table.

Still hyperventilating and not fully recovered, I took it from him with trembling hands, still trying to process what just happened. His eyes never left my face while I drank the water.

"Elijah, I..." I was still too much in a haze to formulate a proper thought.

"It's okay, we'll talk about it tonight over dinner, okay?" He touched my cheek, which I'm sure resembles a ripe tomato.

Dinner? I nodded nonetheless.

"I... I should go," too overwhelmed with the whole make-out session and looking for an escape, I stood too fast to rush out and hit my knee on the corner of the coffee table. "Ouch!" I cried out in pain.

"Hey, be careful, would you?" He sprung on his feet and sat me back down on the sofa. "Is it hurting?" He sat down on the floor and lifted my pants leg, trying to assess for some potential damage.

Is he worried about me? The thought alone made my insides warm.

"Not so much," I mumbled, still feeling sensitive from his touch, my brain was too stuck on what happened a while ago, but it couldn't comprehend pain, even if it was there.

"You're so clumsy; what am I going to do with you?" Satisfied that there was no bruising, he put my pants leg back down and looked at me with an expression that was filled with care and adoration.

He certainly doesn't care about me.

"Don't worry, I'm not someone special that you should care about." I looked away, unable to look at his talking gaze, aloofly remembering what Mila said.

"Who said you're not special?" He held my chin with great warmth to meet his eyes. "You're my wife, the one and only," his smirk made me blush, "A title no other woman ever held... nor will," he said the last part under his breath, but I heard it anyway.

Am I really special to him?

He is just teasing me; he doesn't mean it, right?

Then why is my heart testifying on his behalf?

What are we? I wanted to ask him but refrained, afraid that what if it's not what I'm thinking? I pushed the thought aside.

I don't want to burst the bubble of my happiness just yet.

"Thanks," I leaned down and placed a quick peck on his lips, "I'll see you later at dinner." A look of affection rested on his handsome face.

"Hannah," he called at me when I was about to open the door, "Your buttons are done all wrong," I looked down and sure enough they were.

The rest of the day went fine and a permanent smile was plastered on my face all throughout.

And just so you know, I didn't see him for dinner because my husband is a bloody workaholic!

But I didn't mind.

Because after a long time, I was feeling happy.

........................................................................

Author's note:

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