The grave. The cottage. The words carved into the wall.
My hands clench by my sides, palms sweaty.
The apology was his.
Giorgioâs.
The man whoâs always in control.
But people donât do things like when theyâre in control.
My throat works. âWhy?â
Pain stirs behind his eyes before his gaze darts down the hall. He stands and extends his palm. âGet up. Iâll tell you, but not here.â
He helps me to my feet and leads me upstairs, his hand clenched firmly around mine. My mind jumps to worse-case scenarios.
What was he apologizing for?
Something to do with his mother?
My stomach drops. Did Sal order Giorgio to kill his mom?
The idea is so terrible, and frankly , that it makes me draw to a sharp stop.
Giorgio said he also had ghosts that haunted him. Is his mother one of them?
I draw in a shaky breath. Realizing Iâm no longer moving, Giorgio looks over his shoulder, and his expression darkens when he sees how freaked out I am.
âIâll explain everything.â
âOkay.â My voice comes out like a croak.
No, Giorgio couldnât have killed his mom. Thereâs no way. When he spoke about her, it sounded like she was really important to him.
He pulls me into his bedroom and locks the door. When he lets go off my hand, I shrink into the wall. âYouâre scaring me,â I confess. âTell me whatâs going on.â
Giorgio stops in the center of the room, his broad chest rising and falling with steady, even breaths.
He rakes his fingers through his hair and says, âThat cottage used to be the groundkeeperâs. My mother lived there when she was a girl.â
I wait for him to continue, my heart rapping against my ribs.
Walking over to the window, he links his hands behind his back. âWhen I was a child, she always told me she was happiest here. My mother regretted leaving her family behind to go to Naples. She married my father a year after she arrived in the city, had me another year later, and for the next decade and a half, she suffered from terrible depression because of what had happened to her.â
âWhat happened?â
âMy first memory of my mother is of her crying while she rocked me to sleep. She cried a lot during my childhood. My father hated when she did it in front of him, so sheâd hold her tears back until we were alone.â
My question hangs unanswered, but I donât dare interrupt him. The words drip out of him slowly, as if he has to work for each one.
âShe killed herself when I was fifteen. Hung herself in her bedroom while my father was doing his deliveries around the neighborhood. I found her like that when I came home from school. That morning, I could tell she wasnât well, and I asked my father to wait at home until I got back so that someone would be there to keep an eye on her, but he didnât. He left, and she ended her life.â
I cover my mouth with my hand. âOh my God.â
Giorgio shakes his head. âShe never blamed me explicitly, and in some way, I think she loved me, but it was the kind of love that eventually tore her apart.â His voice turns brittle.
I push myself off the wall and take a few tentative steps toward him. âGiorgio, I donât understand. Blame you for what?â
When he doesnât answer right away, I move closer and wrap my arms around his waist. I think he might push me away, but instead, after a moment, he drops one of his arms and places a palm to rest over mine. The fabric of his dress shirt brushes against my lips, and his familiar scent reaches my nose. I press deeper into him.
âShe was violently raped.â
My eyes widen in horror. âBy who?â
âSal.â
He turns, and the movement forces me to drop my arms and take a step back. Late afternoon sun streams into the room from behind him, leaving his face cloaked in shadows.
âShe was nineteen when it happened. She never fully recovered. My father knew she was unwell, but he didnât care. He spent many years telling her when she was at her lowest that she needed to move on. That it happened to so many women, friends of theirs. âLook at them,â heâd say. âTheyâre fine. Why arenât you?ââ
His face becomes a grimace. I realize then that Giorgio hates his father. Maybe as much as he hates Sal.
âI moved her body here after I bought the castello,â he says in a somber voice. âShe was first buried in a cemetery in Naples. My father owns the lot beside her. I couldnât stand the thought of him lying beside her one day, so I bribed someone to dig up the coffin, and I brought it here in secret. I wanted her to rest in the place she always considered to be her home.
âThereâs no good way to say it, Martina, so Iâll be blunt. I didnât deal with it well⦠Moving her here. Iâ¦lost it in that cottage. I was so angry. I just wanted to destroy everything in my sight. I was ashamed of who I was and the pain I brought her.â
My forehead crinkled. What pain? It sounds like Giorgio was the only one who cared about her.
âButââ
âI already told you I blame Sal for her death, but the truth isâ¦Iâm equally to blame.â He drags a palm over his mouth. âMy mother never told me the details, butââ He expels a harsh breath though his nose. âBased on some of the things she said, I know the rape was brutal and horrible. She had to go to the hospital afterwards. A few weeks later, she found out she was pregnant.â
My heart stutters, and thereâs this feeling of a rapid descent.
âWha-what did she do?â
He takes a slow, deep breath and then lifts his tortured eyes to meet mine. âShe kept it. Youâre looking at the result.â
My belly turns as the horror of what he just revealed sinks in.
âSal isâ¦â I force the words past the dryness in my throat.
Giorgio looks down at the ground, his skin turning sallow. âMy biological father.â
I open my mouth, but there are no words. No words to express even a fraction of what Iâm feeling.
Iâm frozen, glued to the ground as Giorgio gives me a bitter smile. âNow you know the truth about who I am. For my mother, I was a curse. A walking, breathing reminder of the worst thing that ever happened to her.â
The pieces fall into place. The words on the walls⦠He blames himself for what happened.
âThe fact that she managed to hold on for fifteen years is a miracle,â Giorgio says, swiping a palm over the back of his head. âAfter what happened, Nino, the scumbag I call my father, did nothing to help my mother get justice. Instead, he accepted a bribe from Sal. He promised his silence in exchange for a promotion. We lived in the territory of the Secondigliano Alliance, but there was an intersection in the neighborhood controlled by the Casalesi. Nino is a vain man, Martina, and his vanity rendered him useless. He ran a tiny cigarette shop, barely scraping by, and he hated that lowly business with all his heart. When Sal offered to make him a submarine for the Casalesi, nothing could make Nino say no. Not even the knowledge that his wife was carrying another manâs baby. After I was born, he pretended I was his, but my mother told me the truth when I was ten. For years, Iâd ask her why she looked at me likeââ he breaks off and purses his lips.
I press my nails into my palms. âLike what?â
âLike she was staring at a stranger instead of her son. Iâd catch her doing it every few days, and it scared me. Iâd tell her she was doing it again, and sheâd usually snap out of it. One day, I made her angry, and she told me she never wanted me. That my father wasnât really my dad, and that the man who was, was an evil man. That I might turn out to be just like him.â
My vision blurs. âShe shouldnât have said those things, even when she was hurting. You were just a kid.â
He dismisses my words with a wave of his hand. âMy mother wasnât perfect, but I loved her. Finding out the truth didnât change that. If anything, it made me respect her even more for the sacrifice that she made, keeping me. She didnât live to see Sal get what he deserves, but when I found her cold, lifeless body, I made a promise to her that I avenge her.â
Everything makes sense now. âThatâs why youâre backing Dem. You want to play a part in taking down Sal.â
He averts his gaze. âYes.â
âDoes Dem know Salâs your father?â
âNo. None of the Casalesi are aware.â
âBut this is why Sal traded for you, isnât it?â
Giorgio scoffs. âHe certainly wasnât driven by any kind of familial affection. Sal has many bastards scattered around Naples. I was a young hacker working for the Secondigliano Alliance and I helped the Alliance pull off a deal that Salâs men were also involved with. My skills caught Salâs attention and it didnât take him long to figure out who I was. When Sal told my old capo I was his son, the capo deemed me compromised. Heâd probably have killed me if Sal hadnât made it clear he was happy to take me off his hands. Ten thousand euros and a medicâthatâs what Sal gave him in exchange. I didnât have much choice in the matter. I had to accept my new boss if I wanted to keep my life. And so I did. I put on a convincing face for a long time, but there hasnât been a day where I havenât cursed that manâs existence.â
He exhales and drags his palms over his face.
âSal deserves to die. Maybe when itâs done, Iâll have it in me to burn that cottage down to the ground. I havenât returned to it since the day I buried my mother. It repulses me.â
Of course it does. Itâs a physical manifestation of the guilt heâs been carrying all his life.
âYou wrote youâre sorry, but you have nothing to apologize forââ I start, but he cuts me off.
âI do, Martina.â His voice is firm. âI brought my mother terrible pain while she was still alive.â
âYou didnât choose to be born,â I argue. âYes, the circumstances were awful, but you were an innocent child. Your mother made the choice to keep you, to nurture you, despite what happened.â
âAnd she regretted it for the rest of her life.â
I step closer and take his hands into mine. âEven if she did, itâs not your fault. You canât blame yourself for how she felt about her decision.â
His eyes lock on mine, and a soft breath escapes past his lips. He lifts his fingertips to my cheek. âI didnât tell you this for you to pity me or to try to heal old wounds. Iâm telling you so that you know exactly the kind of man I am.â
It dawns on me then that he thinks thereâs something wrong with him. Because of the circumstances around his conception? Does he think Iâll push him away now that I know the truth? True, his father is a terrible man. Salâs the reason my parents are dead. The reason Imogen is dead. But if anything, I feel closer to Giorgio now more than ever.
âAnd what kind of man is that?â
âRotten,â he says softly, dragging his knuckles over my cheekbone. âIâm broken, Martina. I donât know what it feels like to be whole.â
I grip his wrist, holding him in place. âHow do you think I felt when you first picked me up? Back then, I could have said those same words about me. I was so broken, I was still messaging Imogenâs number even though it had been months since she died.â
Surprise flickers in his eyes. âYou were?â
âYes. Seems crazy, doesnât it? Thatâs why when you took my phone, I nearly lost my mind. Sending those messages used to be the only thing that would help me get to sleep.â
âIâm sorry. I didnât realizeâ¦â
I let go of him. âI hated myself, Giorgio.â
He clenches his jaw, clearly displeased at hearing that. âAnd now?â
âNow, I think even the most broken of things can be mended by the right pair of hands.â
The vulnerability that bleeds into his expression takes my breath away. He stares at me like heâs seeing me for the very first time, and thatâs when I decide I like that look more than anything. More than the kisses, or the sex, or the way his hands feel on me. In that look lies the suggestion of a future. A tantalizing hint at what this could be if my time here didnât have an expiration date.
âI crave you, Martina.â He slides his fingers into my hair and pulls me closer to him. âIâve craved you from the moment I saw you, and I promised myself Iâd carve that craving out of me. But the deeper I cut, the deeper you burrow. Iâm afraid that if I donât stop trying to rid myself of you, Iâll end up cutting out my own heart.â
âThen let go of the knife,â I say, my lips close enough to brush against his, âand let me mend you.â
He crushes his mouth to mine. His hands clutch me so tightly, itâs nearly painful, but I wouldnât try to pull away in a million years.
A madness consumes us, erasing thoughts of consequences and complications. Nothing exists in the moment except for him and I. Everything else disappears.
He tugs my leggings over my ass and takes turns lifting my legs to finish stripping the material off without breaking the kiss. His tongue dances with mine, and his teeth graze against my bottom lip. When he bites down harder than usual, I jerk away and meet his eyes. âIs that punishment for not covering up that hickey earlier?â
Desire swirls in his wide pupils. âNot even close.â
âYouâre the one who left it on me,â I say breathlessly as he lifts me, his hands cupping my ass.
âThatâs because you are mine to mark.â He runs his tongue over my neck, sending shivers scattering over my skin. âMine to fuck. However and wherever I want.â
He presses my back against the wall, and I tighten my legs around his waist as he reaches around them to undo his belt.
When I feel his hard length pressing against my panties, I drop my head back, anticipation coiling inside of me. He grips my chin and forces my eyes back to his. âYou will look at me while I fuck your tight, young pussy, .â He nudges my underwear aside and pushes the tip of his cock inside, stretching my opening. âDo you understand? You look away just once, and Iâll stop.â
I nod frantically. âI understand.â
He smirks. âGood fucking girl.â And then he thrusts all the way in in one smooth stroke.
My body shivers from that delicious fullness. âOh God.â
He holds the backs of my thighs with an iron grip as he starts moving inside of me. He holds my gaze, and the force of his full attention reaches into the farthest corners of my mind, making the boundary between him and I blur. We become one.
My moans grow louder, more desperate.
He clenches his teeth and pumps faster, stretching me to my limits. My release starts to build, and as it does, my eyelids drift closed.
He rams into me once more and stops. âLook at me. I want to see your eyes as you fall apart.â
My blunt nails dig into his shoulders. I follow his command, and when my pussy starts pulsing around his cock, I moan his name.
âFuck,â he groans. âSay it again, . I want you chanting my name as you come all over my cock.â
I sob as my orgasm crests. âGio!â
He helps me ride the wave with his steady thrusts, but soon his own release overtakes him, and he sinks all the way inside of me, pressing his forehead against mine. â
, this place between your legs, itâs heaven.â
I breathe in his scent and shudder as his cock twitches inside of me. His fingers are so tight on my thighs, Iâm sure Iâll have bruises tomorrow, but right now, my bodyâs oblivious to pain.
Around Giorgio, it sings with pleasure.