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Heart Attack
"There. All ready to go." I smile as brightly as I can as I fix Zayn's jacket.
"Thanks, Aves! Are you gonna come watch the show?" he asks hopefully.
I shrug. "I don't know..."
"Come on! Look, I know you are upset about Lou, but Hailee, Genny, Annie and Katie are all out in the audience and four more of your best friends are on stage that are here for you!"
Three.
Three of my best friends who were there for me.
Every time I think of Liam, it does anything but make me feel better.
I exhale heavily, mentally trying to subdue the headache I feel creeping up my scalp.
"Zayn, I just want to go lay down. I have Brooklyn for the night since Caroline has to go to some dinner meeting and I really need some rest."
He looks at me, questioningly, like he is debating his next idea to convince me to go. After a moment, he looks down, shaking his head with a sudden smirk. I quirk a brow at his behavior.
"You asked for it," he chuckles.
"Wha--?!" I begin, but am cut off suddenly when Zayn walks swiftly to me to scoop me up and throw me over his shoulder with an excited grin on his face.
He starts walked out the door, despite my screams--and fists--of protest, giggling.
"ZAYN JAVADD MALIK! YOU WILL PUT ME DOWN RIGHT THIS SECOND!"
"You said you were tired! I'm giving you a lift!" he jokes. Even though I know he can't see me, I'm giving his back a scowl that could cripple an Olympic gold-medalist with one look.
"Sorry if I don't think staring at an upside-down view of your fat ass is relaxing!"
He just laughs, sending a wave of vibration through my body. "You know you love it!"
I grumble something along the lines of a 'whatever'. I mean, I couldn't lie. As far as butts go, his isn't bad. That doesn't mean I exactly enjoy the view, but I guess I can't complain considering other alternatives.
After about three minutes of bobbing up and down through the hallways, I'm placed down on my own two feet on the side stage. I cross my arms over my chest, squinting my eyes determinedly at the cocky brown-eyed boy before me.
"That was unnecessary."
"It was necessary because it worked! You're here!" he exclaims, proud of himself, and waiting as if I should find it commendable that he was able to successfully complete such a daunting task of carrying a buck ten girl like me. Yeah. Congratulations.
"Whatever." I continue to glare at him, stubbornly. I'm already tired and in a bad mood and the last thing I want to deal with is an energetic twat; a description that currently fits Zayn perfectly.
Our stares are interrupted when Josh cries out from the right-wing entrance of the stage. "Zayn, man, we are on in two! Get downstage!"
"Okay, okay, I'm going!" he cries back before returning his gaze to mine. "See you out there!"
I roll my eyes at his attempt to get me enthusiastic about the situation. When he doesn't receive the verbal response I he was waiting for, he smiles wide and swings back around to run in the opposite direction of me to the entrance of the pit they were shot up on stage from.
As soon as he is out of sight, I let out a huge breath I hadn't realized had been waiting in my lungs. I walk over to find a seat on the couch they keep beside the stage for the crew--or more Lou, Caroline, and I--to rest on during the shows.
I am adjusting myself on the cushions when I feel my phone buzz from my pocket.
From: Hails
hey are you watching the show?! IM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!
From: Aves
ya im backstage. 5sos has already gone tho right?
From: Hails
ya MIKEY WAS GREAT! i haven't seen him perform since high school!!!
From: Aves
he was always pretty good!!!!
From: Hails
ya but he's even better now! and i haven't seen the other boys in years! they got so big!
From: Aves
thats how growing up works
From: Hails
hey are you ok? you seem off
From: Aves
im fine. just tired.
From: Hails
ya speaking of "tired" what are you gonna do about lou? and then this thing with liam?! like what is going on?!!!!
I sigh and run my hand through my hair, pushing it back from my face and relishing in the feeling of stretching the suddenly tighter skin of my scalp as my roots pull away from it.
From: Aves
I DONT KNOW!!! ugh im so confused. im still kinda mad at louis and trying to figure out how im gonna handle that but then this liam thing just happens and i have no idea what that is so im just as lost as you are!!!!!
From: Hails
you're a mess.
From: Aves
=_= not helping
From: Hails
i'm sorry. i don't know how to even help you with this. but what advice i do have is just talk to liam to figure out whatever that is. then figure out what you are gonna do with lou. one step at a time.
From: Aves
you're right. ok ill let you go since they just gave the 30 sec warning for the boys. i lub u.
From: Hails
i lub u too
I sigh deeply and lock my phone, turning the screen dark. I see my reflection in the glass. I stare at it for awhile. I'm faintly aware of music blasting from the stage signifying that the concert has started, but I don't listen. I block out the noise and just stare back at my reflection; dark bags above my cheeks, ghostly pale, and lifeless eyes.
What are these boys doing to me?
"Hey, Aves, are you okay?"
I look up and see a frowning Michael standing above me.
I shake my head. "No, yeah, I'm fine. Just tired."
He gives me a look that tells me he knows I that's not the truth. Instead of forcing me to talk about it, he just holds out his hand for me to take. I reach up and he pulls me so I'm standing in front of him.
"Let's go watch. There's only a few songs left, anyways," he says, pulling me by my intertwined hand to the edge of the stage where we can watch.
Liam is standing closest to our side of the stage, making my stomach churn at the sight of him. They are in the middle of a song, 'dancing' around on stage. This song, I actually know.
I was listening to Niall finish his part when Liam looks over to meet my gaze just in time for Zayn's solo.
"I'm trying to be okay, I'm trying to be alright. But seeing you with him, Just don't feel right."
My breath catches in my throat as I hold his stern gaze, when Liam brings his mic to his mouth and runs off down the stage for the chorus. And of course, Louis is the next to run over to my side of the stage. He looks distracted as he sings the words by rote. Like he is trying his best to just get through the concert; not really enjoy it. The boys always said that the one thing about their performances is that no matter how bad you feel before, the minute you step on the stage, under the lights and in front of the crowd, you can't help but smile and leave all your worries backstage. And I have an unfortunate feeling that I most likely know what could be causing Louis' foul mood. Me.
I've still been doing my best to avoid speaking to him, despite his best efforts to do the contrary.
He turns his head to meet my eyes and my heart stops as he begins to sing.
"Yeah, every time you look like that, you're giving me a heart attack. Seeing you with him, just don't feel right."
He continues to hold my gaze, even though I know he is supposed to be moving to center stage for the final chorus. Still, he remains rooted in place, eyes boring into mine. My breathing becomes shallow as he look at me with almost pleading eyes. I can't handle this.
I turn and run.
âââââ
Gen's POV
This is so cool! I have always wanted to go to a One Direction concert! Now, here I am, living, and loving might I add, the dream!
"This is awesome!" I yell over the crowd to Hailee.
"I know!! Ahhhh! Heart attack is coming on!!" she shouts back to me.
The boys are just running around onstage playing with each other, but when all of them walk downstage for the chorus, Louis stays put. You can tell he isn't supposed to because all the guys are turning around and giving him stern looks. And just as Zayn is walking up to get him, I estimate, Lou just up and runs off the stage.
"What the hell just happened?!" Hailee screams.
"I don't know, what the heck is he doing!?!" I yell back.
"AHHH! I'm gonna barf on EVERYONE!!" she screeches. I can't help from burst out into laughter at her comment.
"Wait, you don't think this is about Avery?" Annie turns over to ask me. I hadn't thought of that. Ever since the interview when they broke up, they've been avoiding each other like crazy! Avery would begin to walk into a room, see Louis, then run to the bathroom. I don't get it...
"I'm not sure, it definitely could be," I respond. After the song is over, the rest of the boys run off for an 'unexpected break'.
"What the hell is going on around here?!?" Hailee yells again.
"I don't know, but this group SERIOUSLY has to get their act together..."
"They're out of control!"
âââââ
Louis' POV
She turns and runs.
Shit.
I can't take this anymore. I can't lose her again. I couldn't live without her anymore. Being apart from her, and knowing I hurt her enough to want to leave me, is tearing me in pieces.
I look back over at the crowd, noticing a few of the boys' gazes focused casually on me, apparently noticing the internal debate I'm currently having.
I'm about to make a detrimental decision--to which area of my life, I have yet to figure out--but nevertheless, I have to do it, and the boys notice this as Zayn starts walking over to me... to stop me.
But, he can't stop me. Not now. Before he is halfway to my position on the edge of the stage, I pull the microphone from my mouth that I had yet to open since the first line of the chorus.
And I turn and run after her.
A few people try to stop me, and I see Mikey standing on the edge of the stage, gawking at me.
I can't spare a moment to pay much attention to the cries of my name to come back, however. She is getting farther away and I need to catch her soon.
I turn the corner down the hall backstage, and I see her sprinting at the opposite end of it, nearing the door to the exit by the tour bus parking.
"Avery!" I scream, hoping she may actually be willing to stop for me.
She turns at the sound of her name, and a wave of confusion and shock pass over her face, obviously surprised that I followed after her.
"What are you doing here Louis?!" she screams, slowly turning back around to run the opposite direction. However, her momentary state of shock gave me enough time to catch up to her, and I quickly reach out to grab her hand in mine.
"Wait!" I say, pulling her to turn around to face me. She tries to rip her hand from my grasp, but I hold her back and turn to push her against the wall to keep her in place between my arms which are now placed on either shoulder.
I notice her cheeks go flush and her eyes begin to well tears, and I know by this point, I am mirroring her expression.
"What?! What Louis?!" she squeaks out, less powerful than I know she had been hoping.
"Will you please just give me two minutes to talk to talk to you?" I breathe.
She blinks her eyes closed, trying to collect herself before she lets out a heavy breath and opens them up to meet mine once again.
"Fine."
I exhale deeply in relief, overly pleased that she is at least giving me an opportunity for her to hear me out.
"I'm sorry," I begin. "I am so sorry. I never meant to say that--any of it. Brad was trying to get to me and it worked. That's no excuse, I know, but I just love you so much and it is killing me that I hurt you. I miss you so much. I want you to be mine again. I want to be able to hold you in my arms again. I want to make you laugh and kiss you and hold you. I'll do anything. Just, please. I am so sorry, Avery. It's been hell without you. Please."
She closes her eyes once again, bringing her hands up to cup her face before she slide them back to comb her hair out of her face.
"I love you, too, Louis," she says. I swear my heart leaps at her words. "I know you didn't mean to. But you did. You did, and it made me realize what we were doing and how dangerous it could be for everything. And it lost my trust in you because, now, how do I know you will be able to restrain yourself from shouting out the next secret I tell you? I just--I am not in a place to be able to deal with this right now, Lou. I just can't. And I am still immensely, however irrationally, angry with you!" she screams, shoving my chest away from her. I don't budge, however. I'm not going anywhere, yet.
"Give me another chance. Please, Aves," I beg. "I promise I was trying to protect you from all of that in the first place, I just screwed up. Please."
She shakes her head violently, as tears fall from her eyes. "You told the world I wanted to kill myself!" she wails. Her lip quivers so much I'm amazed she can speak. "You tried to protect me but all you did was make that statement true all over again!"
This time when she shoves me, I stumble away from her, unable to keep myself up. I feel my back collide with the opposite wall as she turns to run off again with pain in her eyes. I hear the exit door close, and I know she's gone. My legs, unable to hold me anymore, collapse on the floor. My head tilts back to rest against the cool wall and I close my eyes.
Suddenly, I hear four pairs of feet clambering against the concrete floor coming towards me.
"Louis! What the hell happened?!" Harry's voice sounds above me. I know the boys are all staring, waiting for an answer as they surround me.
I make no move to open my eyes to look at them, though, as I answer, "I'm killing her."