an extra happy birthday for my sister (Gen) who is 13 today!!!!! LUV U BOO!!!! julia_genevieve
Change My Mind
"I'm bored!" Hailee cries from my bed. I have my own room in the house since Harry and Hailee are sharing. Hey, I'm not complaining. More room for me!
We just got into Havasu, and since it's about seven at night, there's nothing to do.
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. This is the last leg of my break for the majority of the American tour, so I am going to enjoy every minute of it," I grumble as I close my suitcase and shut the closet to join her on the bed.
"Really?" she asks.
"Yeah, I mean, we've already had a long break. Management made it so most of our break time is spent on the west coast because for the next few weeks its basically back-to-back shows and interviews and meet-and-greets and blah blah blah. I think we may have a day or two in New York or something, but that's pretty much it."
"Oh. That kinda sucks," Hailee grumbles.
"Yeah, I guess. But I've enjoyed my vacation. I haven't had a real break in a long time, with school and everything."
"Hmm," she hums in agreement.
After a few seconds of comfortable silence, I ask, "What do you want to do for dinner?"
"We could always go to The Naked Turtle. I haven't been there in ages."
"Yeah, I guess so. A drink sounds good, right about now," I groan in exasperation.
"Yeah, how are you and Louis doing, anyways? It still just seems like a lot of tension."
"I don't know," I answer honestly. "I think we are both just too stubborn to stop being mad at the other."
Hailee turns to prop herself up on her elbow, resting her head in her hand, to look down at me.
"Are you ever going to forgive him?"
I groan and drag my hands down my face in annoyance.
"I don't know! I mean, I know he never meant to hurt me, but I can't help feeling betrayed, ya know? I still love him--I never stopped in the first place. I just, don't know if I can let it go so easily."
"Babe, you aren't letting this go easily," Hailee chuckles. "The guy's miserable. He's putting himself through hell and back he feels so guilty. Now, I think he's just getting frustrated that nothing he does seems to be enough. He's getting tired of fighting for something he is realizing he can't have."
I take a deep breathe, just frustrated with this whole situation.
Yes, I want to forgive him. Yes, I love him. And yes, I feel bad that he is torturing himself on my behalf. But even with all of that--no, I could not move on from what happened. Not just yet, anyway.
"I don't know if I am ready to just, forgive and forget."
"Don't forget," Hails corrects. "Forgetting means acting like it never happened, and you end up making the same mistakes you learned from this. So, don't forget, just forgive. Learn from this and make it better."
I narrow my gaze at her. She seems to notice and looks at me weirdly.
"What?"
"When did you get so wise?"
She just chuckles and shakes her head. "Since... since I fell in love." She looks up at me.
I sit up straight in the bed, looking at her dead in the eyes with a stunned expression.
"You love Harry?!" I whisper yell, in the off chance someone can hear me if I don't.
She smiles widely at me, unable to contain her excitement.
She nods definitively. "Yeah, I think I do."
I smile at her--the first true smile to stretch across my face in what feels like an eternity.
"Have you told Harry yet? Does he feel the same way?"
"No, but, I mean, I think he does. I hope he does," she answers back.
"Hails, I've seen the way you look at each other. I can tell you, he is feeling whatever you are feeling. And if that is love, well that's just fantastic!" I beam at her.
"Really?" she smiles, suddenly somewhat unsure, but I know she knows it is true in the back of her heart.
"Really."
She squeals and pulls me into a big hug.
I laugh into her shoulder and hug her back as we begin rocking back and forth, playfully.
After a minute or so, we pull back, both with stupid grins on our lips.
"So, what do you want to do now?"
"Hmm... I know a fun game we can play to mess with the boys," I smirk, evily.
"Oh, I'm in."
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"Who's first?" I ask as I plop down on the ground of the living room, between Hailee and Niall.
"Can I go?!" Niall shrieks beside me.
"Okay," I chuckle and leave the floor open for Niall.
"Okay! Harry! Truth or dare?"
"Hmm... I think I'll go truth this time."
I roll my eyes and cough "Wimp," under my breath.
"Fine," Niall grumbles, not satisfied with his choice. He seems to perk up, momentarily, however, when an idea appears to have popped into his mind. "Do you love Hailee?"
I look over at Niall in shock. Is he a mind reader or did he overhear Hailee and I's conversation from only moments ago?
Harry seems to be doing his best to contain his panicking insides as he sits beside Hails.
It only takes him a few moments to pull himself together, though, for the next thing I know, he's responding with a cool and collected, "Yes."
Hailee looks up at him excitedly. "Really?"
"Yes, I love you. I was going to wait to tell you..." he drones out, glaring at Niall. "But, I guess now is as good a time as any." He looks back to meet her gaze.
"I love you, too." She smiles up at him and reaches up behind his neck to pull him in for a kiss.
"Okay, okay, love birds. Save it for the bedroom," Zayn laughs.
They both chuckle and pull away blushing. Harry grabs her hand, entwining it with his, and kisses the top of her head lovingly.
"Okay, Louis, truth or dare?" Harry begins, looking over to Lou across from me.
"Dare."
Harry's smirk grows and I feel the atmoshere around me make a dramatic shift, making me begin to feel a knot growing in my stomach. I know that smirk.
"I dare you to... kiss Avery... for at least 30 seconds."
The blood drains from my face and I gasp for air. Louis seems to mirror my expression, with the exception that his holds an unspoken wrath of anger.
"Haz," he groans through gritted teeth.
"It's a dare! You have to do it!" Niall says, perking up at Harry's plan.
Remind me to hit them with an anchor.
Louis exhales heavily, his eyes focused on the floor in front of his lap. He probably won't do it. I mean, I wouldn't have the guts.
When I assume he's not going to do anything, he quickly gets up on his hands and knees and crawls over to me, keeping his gaze firmly on the carpet as if he is trying to not talk himself out of it and just go for it. When he finally reaches me, he stops for a millisecond before lifting his head and meeting his lips with mine.
They're rigid and hard against my lips. Still, I forgot how good it feels to have his lips against mine. He must come to the same conclusion because soon, he begins to move his lips against mine. I allow ours to move in sync, enjoying the feeling of having him close once more.
Expecting him to keep it soft and slow, I'm thrown off as his lips quickly become more and more desperate against mine, leaving me more and more breathless. I don't question it as I reach my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him desperately closer. I feel his tongue drag across my bottom lip, and I automatically relax my jaw and open my mouth. He shoves his tongue between my teeth with a grunt, jerking his whole body forward with it. I can't hold back the moan that escapes my lips as he massages his tongue against mine.
I lace my fingers through his hair, tugging rather roughly on his locks. His hands are placed on either side of my hips to keep himself up, but he slowly trails one from the ground to my waist and up my hips. His fingers dig harshly into my sides.
That's when I hear the timer on Harry's phone go off. I completely forgot that we still have an audience. My cheeks flush red as I slowly pull away, keeping my eyes closed. I feel Louis' heavy breathing against my face, mirroring my own labored breaths.
"Aves," Louis pants. I open my eyes to meet his staring back at me, in the same close position from before; neither of us daring to move away. "Avery," he repeats after a few seconds to catch his breath. "I dare you to forgive me."
I'm faintly aware of hearing five pairs of feet shuffling out of the room, probably assuming it's a good time to give us some privacy.
"Avery?" Louis calls after a few seconds.
My mind is reeling and I can't seem to get a hold on it. I know what way I want to answer, but I'm also aware of how I know I should answer.
If I was being smart, I would say no, get up, and leave. It would keep me from getting hurt and stop the feeling in my chest that eats away at me every time I think about the possibility of forgiving him. I would put an end to all those thoughts but cutting off the option, for I know after this, it would be final for the both of us.
On the other hand, saying yes would have similar effects. Only I know I would be setting myself up for being hurt again. But even with that risk and the feeling of betrayal and defeat that lingers inside of me, I can't bring myself to answer any other way...
"Yes."
"Really? You mean it?" he looks up at me, hopefully.
"I do."
And with that, he crashes his lips against mine once again.