Chapter 48: Fear in Familiarity

AVA

The first day back at the office after our trip, I felt just as nervous as I did the very first day I worked there.

I was certain that people would have caught on to Cyrus and me being gone for a week at the same time and that they’d already be gossiping about our relationship.

But of course, in reality, nobody had connected the dots, and I was able to return to work as normal.

I didn’t see Cyrus all morning, since he had back-to-back meetings. My friends and I caught up over coffee, and I told them all about my week back home.

I’d turned my engagement ring around so that the diamond was hidden in my palm, and not even Ella seemed to notice it.

At lunchtime, Ella popped her head into my office. “Lunch at Greenwich?” she asked hopefully.

I leaned to my right a little so I could look around her at Cyrus’s office across the food court. I was kind of hoping to see him at lunch. His door, however, was still closed.

“Sure,” I said, trying to sound upbeat.

We rode the elevator down and walked over to Greenwich, the lunch place across from Brentstone and Sons.

It had been a while since we’d had lunch there together, and I was genuinely excited to catch up with her, especially since I had some really big news to share.

But I couldn’t help thinking about Cyrus every few minutes.

Ella’s loud gasp shook me out of my thoughts.

“What is ~THAT?!~” she shrieked, grabbing my hand.

I realized then that I’d been absentmindedly spinning my engagement ring around my finger.

“Are you ~engaged?!~” She slapped her hand over her mouth.

I grimaced apologetically. “Eh…yes.”

She shot up from her seat, nearly knocking her chair over in the process. “To ~Mr. Brentstone?!~” she squealed, earning a few curious looks from people around us.

“Would you mind keeping it down?” I tried to hide my face behind the menu.

“Right,” she said quietly and sat back down. “But ~are you~?”

I couldn’t suppress the smile creeping onto my face. “Yes,” I whispered.

Ella fanned her face dramatically with her hands. “I think I’m going to cry. I’m so happy for you, Ava.”

We spent the rest of our lunch talking about the engagement and our vacation. Ella wanted to know everything, and I told her all she needed to know.

We finished our lunch, and I checked my phone again as we walked back to the office. I froze momentarily when I saw I had four missed calls and a bunch of texts from Cyrus.

I decided to just make my way back to him quickly instead of reaching out to him by phone.

We went back up to the twelfth floor. As soon as we stepped into the office, my eyes caught Cyrus’s from across the room.

He looked very tense, and I saw him breathe a sigh of relief as he saw me. He took two large steps toward me and then halted.

I slowly walked toward him. My surroundings faded more into the background with each step I took. All I could see was him.

I took a ragged breath as I stopped in front of him, close enough to smell his woodsy scent but far enough away so as not to raise any suspicion.

“Ms. Mayweather,” he said darkly, sending a chill through my body.

“Mr. Brentstone.”

“May I see you in my office please?”

I hesitated, slowly regaining my sense of my surroundings.

“Now.”

I avoided his gaze as I entered his office. I saw my friends and a few other colleagues watching us curiously before Cyrus closed the door behind us, blocking us from their sight.

His expression was darker than usual, more hostile, like it was when I first knew him. It made my stomach churn.

I’d always loved how bold he was with his emotions. I appreciated the contrast between his hard facade and how sweetly he loved me. I also loved his edginess and the dominance he asserted.

But this time, it seemed more serious for some reason. He seemed almost angry, like he had been with his father before, and with Timothy last week.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I felt the familiar sense of caution bubble to the surface. ~Defuse the situation.~

“Hi, honey.” I spoke carefully, gauging his reaction. “I missed you.”

“Where were you,” he asked, although it sounded more like a statement. “You had me worried there.”

I swallowed thickly. “I had lunch at Greenwich, with Ella.” I reached for his hand, never breaking eye contact. “It was just us two. There was no one else with us.”

I reached into my purse and rummaged around with my free hand. My fingers clasped the receipt from lunch, and I pulled it out shakily and put it in his hand.

“Here you go. I had the garden salad, and Ella had the salmon toast. I can ask her to confirm, if you want.”

“Why?” Cyrus’s brow furrowed. He seemed more confused than angry.

Suddenly his eyes widened with realization. “Oh, no, you don’t have to show me receipts, Aves. I believe you. I was just worried.”

He looked down at my hands holding his, still trembling. He pulled his hand away and took a large step back.

“Are you… Are you ~scared~ of me?” Hurt replaced the confusion on his face.

I felt a pang of guilt when I looked at his face. ~Was I?~ We stared at each other for a long moment. Then he turned his back to me, pausing before walking over to his desk.

He sat down in his chair, not looking at me. He sounded strangely distant.

“I apologize. I came on too strong. I was just worried when I came out of my meeting and I couldn’t find you anywhere. I was excited to see you after all those meetings.”

He looked at his desk and then rubbed his temples with his hands. “I can’t believe you were scared of me. I can’t believe ~I scared you~.”

My heart shattered at the sight of him like that. I quickly walked to him and dropped down on my knees in front of him.

“No. No, Cyrus. Don’t do that.”

I pulled his hands down from his face and replaced them with mine. I brought his face toward me.

“You didn’t. Listen to me. Old habits die hard. It’s just my fight-or-flight response kicking in. This had nothing to do with you, just with me.

“It happens as soon as I feel anger directed at me, especially from men. Especially from men that I care about. It’s even happened with my father once or twice.”

He still wasn’t looking at me. “But you thought I was angry at you. That’s on me. I should be more careful with my tone around you.”

“Cyrus, look at me. Look at me. I am not scared of you. You don’t have to change anything for me. I fell in love with your bold, assertive personality. It just clashes with my history sometimes.

“But I love your harshness, your roughness, your dominance. And that has nothing to do with my past. Quite the opposite.

“Don’t walk on eggshells around me. I’m not some vulnerable little glass doll that’s to be handled with padded gloves.”

I took a deep breath before continuing. “Be yourself, and teach me all emotions can healthily coexist. Teach me anger can still be safe.”

Cyrus’s eyes finally met mine. He tilted his head back as he studied me. “Damn, baby, that was poetic.”

He inhaled sharply. “All right. But promise you’ll tell me if I’m coming on too strong. No need to feel scared over misplaced intensity.”

“I promise, Cy.”

I stood up to stretch my half-asleep legs, and he pulled me onto his lap. He looked at his watch.

“I have about twenty minutes left until my next meeting. How about you?”

“No meetings until three.” I nibbled the edge of my lip.

Cyrus stared at my mouth for a moment. Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward a door in the back of his office, one that I hadn’t noticed before. He opened it and gestured to the room behind it.

“I want to show you something.”