Chapter 19: Alexis & Drake

ALEXIS

Alexis kept out of the way, sitting in a chair in the corner of the infirmary as Drake and the others readied the place for the incoming Rictorians. ~Humans~, she corrected herself.

She watched Drake work, feeling very proud of him—and a little nervous. They’d saved Clint and Roco, and it looked like they were likely going to save all the others. Brave men. Soldiers. They deserved to live no matter the cost, didn’t they?

Drake was standing by one of the capsules as he scrolled through his electronic notepad. Did he feel her misgivings? Or was he too busy to notice? She felt his stress, for sure, not to mention his own fears and uncertainties.

But they were fears and uncertainties of a different kind from hers. She couldn’t explain it. The feeling somehow sat differently in her body.

He was anxious and excited too. Even to the point of thrilled. It made her smile, then grimace. She needed to talk with him—but he was too busy. She needed to talk with ~someone~.

Both Juan and Myeong were resting with their paired Zibons, but neither were asleep. Alexis went over.

“Juan,” she whispered.

Juan raised his eyes. “Alexis.”

He gave a smile. “I haven’t told you how much I like your new look.”

Alexis reached up to touch her hair, smoothing her white braids through her fingers. She liked it too.

He shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re bonded. I thought you’d be the last—other than Karina, of course.”

Alexis twisted her mouth. “So you thought I would give in.”

He scoffed. “You thought you ~wouldn’t~?”

He looked over at Clint, who was sleeping beside him. Juan touched his cheek with the tips of his fingers. “~Who~ wouldn’t?”

A good question.

“What about Karina?”

Juan’s face twisted. “That one—I’m not so sure about.”

“And what happens if she doesn’t? What’s going to happen with her? Will they force her, you think?”

“They would never do that.”

“You think so?”

Juan frowned. “What are you getting at?”

Alexis dragged her fingers through her braids. “You’re not worried? About the ethics of this?”

She gestured at the capsules. “They are going to take a bunch of people from Earth, just as they did us, and bond with them. ~Forcibly~ this time.”

Juan opened his mouth and shut it, then looked back over the capsules, his forehead puckered. “They won’t force them. They’ll bond willingly. Like us.”

Alexis shook her head. “But they won’t have time to form an attachment. You don’t know what the Zibons are planning. I do.”

She looked over at Drake again. “Haven’t any of them considered it? Do we mean so little to them?”

“We mean everything to them,” he said. “~Everything~.”

“Once we’re bonded, yes. Or to-be bonded. But as individual beings? As a ~species~? Do they really care?”

~You’ve trapped me in an unequal relationship where you have all the power and I have none. This isn’t about bonding. This is about control.~

Alexis bit at her lip. Had she been wrong?

“Stop thinking about it like that,” Juan said. “Think of it this way: What other choice do they have?”

“I need to talk with Drake.”

Juan grabbed her hand. “Leave him, he’s busy. Why don’t you go and chat with Myeong? See what she thinks.”

“You haven’t even told me what ~you~ think. Do you think it’s right?”

Juan stared up at her, then looked down at Clint. His face softened. “Yes. These are wonderful men. Not perfect, but they’re better than any we could find back on Earth. They deserve to live.”

Alexis watched him as he gazed upon Clint’s face. Thirteen. Thirteen people. Likely women. She felt a rush of anger.

When she looked up, she saw Drake watching her from across the room, his forehead furrowed. She turned to Myeong. She was sitting up in bed beside Roco, who was rolled away on his side, his big shoulder rising and falling as he breathed, deeply asleep. Alexis went over.

“Hi,” Myeong said quietly, her dark eyes darting over Alexis’s new look.

“How is he?”

“Much better. ~Very~ tired.”

She looked over at him with an affectionate smile. “I just want to take him back to our room and keep him to myself.”

“You’re stage two, right?”

Myeong nodded.

Alexis winced, remembering how much it had hurt. And to wait so long! The woman was stronger than she looked. “How are you coping?”

She released a long breath. “I’m coping. That is all.”

Alexis folded her arms. She could feel Drake’s eyes upon her like a prickling at the back of her neck. “Tell me, what do you think about going back to Rictor 5?”

“What do you mean?”

“About taking more women. Like they did us.”

She nodded at the capsules. “To save these aliens.”

“I—I haven’t really thought about it.” She frowned. “I—I guess they must. What else can they do?”

Alexis pursed her lips.

“You look worried,” Myeong said.

“Aren’t you? What if these women don’t want it?”

“But they ~will~. Just like us.”

“Karina doesn’t.”

Myeong frowned down into her lap. “But we’re matched. They’ll match them, won’t they?”

She raised her eyes. “If they’re meant to be, it can’t be too terrible, can it?”

She looked over at Roco. “I thank God every minute that they chose me.”

Alexis turned at the feel of a hand upon her shoulder. It was Drake, looking tired. His smile was strained.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I—I need to speak with you,” she told him. “Do you have time?”

“I always have time for you.”

Taking her hand, he pulled her across the floor and into the laboratory beyond. Two Zibons looked up from whatever they were working on at their benches, then back down again. Drake took her to a quiet corner.

“Where’s Miktar?” she asked.

“Sleeping.”

Alexis frowned. “Like ~you~ should be sleeping.”

“Soon,” he said, giving a tired smile. “Somebody has to be here.”

He rubbed at his eye. She felt the urge to rub at her own eyes. “What’s wrong? Why are you feeling so…unsettled?”

“I don’t know about this,” she said quickly, glancing at the Zibons behind her. “What you intend to do… I’m not sure… I’m not sure it’s right.”

Drake gazed at her. He gazed ~into~ her. She could feel the guilt swelling in her throat.

“We have no choice, Alexis. We either do this or they die.”

“But if you do this, my kind will lose their freedom. They will be…they will be like ~slaves~.” Alexis bit down on her lip, hating the word, but she couldn’t think of another way to describe it.

Drake’s dark eyes were piercing. “Do you think ~you’re~ a slave?”

“No.”

“You didn’t like ~me~. In fact, you didn’t like me even at the first stage.” The corner of his mouth tugged.

Alexis shrugged her shoulders at the feel of his laughter bubbling through their bond. “That’s not actually true,” she said, forcing back a smile. “I ~did~ like you. I was just hurt—and stubborn.” She could now look back fondly at how ridiculous the whole situation had been.

Drake took her hand. “True.” He leaned in to peck her on the lips. He stroked her cheek. “But Quinton matched us. It was inevitable.” He suddenly lowered his eyes, frowning. He dropped his hand from her face.

Alexis shook herself at Drake’s surge of unease. “What is it?”

“Captain Ream has no interest in Quinton’s cellular matching. We will take what is available.”

“And you don’t think that’s wrong?”

“I didn’t even think about it.”

“You didn’t ~think~ about it?” Her voice echoed around the room. Alexis glanced behind her, but the Zibons were ignoring them. “You didn’t think about it?” she whispered in dismay. “What if these women have husbands? Children? ~Families~? You’d just take them away?”

Alexis suddenly thought of her own sister. She had three children. What would happen if they took ~her~? Who would take care of them?

She could feel his surprise—and his guilt, a twisty feeling in her stomach that made her feel ill.

Drake shook his head. “Too busy. Too worried. And…and…”

“…you just didn’t care,” she finished for him. “Anything to save their lives without care that you could be ruining someone else’s.”

Alexis winced. Her hand was shaking as she pushed her fringe out of her face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She winced again. “But you—but you did the same to me.”

She wiped at her face. “I hate this. I ~hate~ this. Making you feel bad makes me feel bad.” She raised her face to the ceiling as she tried to hold back her tears. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

There was a long silence. Alexis was looking away. Drake wasn’t talking. But they didn’t need to look at each other. They didn’t need to speak. Alexis could feel everything. She could imagine his expression. She knew what he would say.

“I didn’t think it through,” he agreed in a low voice. “When I took you. I just… I just thought it would be the best for the both of us. It ~has~ worked out for you, hasn’t it?”

Alexis felt his fear like a squeeze around her heart. A second, harder lump formed in her throat. It made her body ache. It made her hand tremble as she reached out to touch his cheek. “I need to ~see~ you. Let me touch you.” The urge to have his mouth against hers was agony.

Before she even had a chance to move, his arms were around her, his lips pressed against hers. Alexis clawed into his sides, then grabbed at his head as she raked her fingers through his dark hair. She pulled away breathless. He was breathless too, his chest heaving against hers as she laid her head upon his shoulder. She rubbed her tears into his shirt.

“This is hard,” she said. “How can I argue with you? How can I reason with you?”

“You ~are~ reasoning with me. I can feel every word you say. I understand—and I am ashamed. But see why I did it. It was selfish—but ~see~.”

“I can see,” she whispered, gripping onto him more tightly. That loneliness. That hollowness in his chest that only she seemed able to fill.

“I will do something,” he said, kissing her on the head. “I will make sure they are matched.”

“But you won’t stop them.”

“I cannot. They cannot die. It is the best that I can do. Feel me. See my point of view. What is right? Their matched partners ~will~ have happy lives—and nobody has to die. The alternative is not an alternative.” He touched her cheek. “You’re not entirely convinced, I know. But I ~will~ not back down on this. And think about it: Even if I wanted to, do you think the others would agree?”

Alexis thought back to Chloe, Aisha, and Karina being dragged, screaming, into the infirmary. She shivered. What would it be like for the new women?

He took her hands and kissed them. “I will have them matched. That is the best I can do.”

DRAKE

Alexis had completely drained Drake’s excitement. His chest felt hollow as they reentered the infirmary.

She was right. And it was something he really hadn’t considered. And he felt ashamed. Did he think so little of Rictorians that he hadn’t even cared? No. That wasn’t right. He just cared more about his brothers—which was natural.

But she was right about herself. He had snatched her away for himself without a thought for her own life. Slaves. What a word to use. Again, she wasn’t exactly inaccurate. They would be a slave to a bond they had no choice over. But they would be matched—and that would make all the difference. If nature were allowed to take its course, they would have fallen in love organically, just like Alexis and himself had done.

Or was he just kidding himself?

He was pondering all this as he looked over Lew’s capsule. This was right. There was no other choice. It had to be done. What was worse: potentially taking away these Rictorians’ freedoms or allowing these men to die?

He glanced over at Alexis, who was watching him. It was only hours before their arrival on Rictor 5—he had to act quickly. With a nod, he put down his electronic notebook and took out his I-Spy.

He braced himself as he connected with Captain Ream.

“Yes?” came his gruff voice.

“Captain Ream, sorry to disturb you, but it’s Senior Operative Drake here.”

“What is it? Do you have an update about my men?”

“Uh, no. My patients are no different.”

“Then what is it? I’m very busy, as I’m sure you know…”

“I’ll be quick. I believe it is in our best interest to perform cellular matching once we reach Rictor 5.”

“No.”

“Captain Ream—”

“I said, ~no~. It will take an hour to conduct the operation, then another to round up the appropriate stock.”

Drake winced at his choice of words.

“It is time we do not have,” he continued. “Time that could mean permanent injury to our men. We can be in and out within minutes.”

“Captain Ream, the Rictorians—”

“I said, no, and that is my final word.”

The connection ended. Drake’s heart was racing as he slowly lowered the I-Spy.

He slipped it into his pocket.

He turned and saw Alexis watching him.

She was frowning.