Chapter 30: Chloe & Tor

CHLOE

Chloe eyed Tor through her long, dark hair as he prepared for bed. He’d removed his shirt, and Chloe found it difficult to tear her gaze away. Her body tingled, a flush creeping up her throat.

She’d never experienced this before. It wasn’t as though they hadn’t shared a bed before—on several occasions. But this was different.

Everything was different. Her father’s voice echoed in her mind: ~Remember original sin. You’re weak. Keep your heart close to God.~

Folding her arms, Chloe turned her head with a shiver, biting her lip.

“Are you all right?” Tor asked in his deep voice.

Allowing her hair to fall further around her face, she nodded.

“Are you coming to bed?” he asked.

She jerked her eyes up. It was the first time he’d actually ~asked~ her to join him, rather than pulling her in after him.

He was gazing at her from across the room, leaning his back against the headboard, his long brown hair cascading down his broad shoulders. Chloe felt the blood pool in her hips. She felt it rush into her cheeks. Her mouth filled with saliva. He was so handsome.

Clearing her throat, she stood from the little table and approached. She was only going to sleep next to him. It would be innocent. There was no need to worry about anything.

His yellow eyes were gleaming. They briefly flicked up and down her body before he pulled away the blankets and patted the spot beside him.

Chloe hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Chloe swallowed. Her mouth was dry. “I—I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Doing what?” he asked.

“Being with you.”

He sighed. “We’re not going through this again, are we?”

“It’s not that.” She couldn’t stop biting her lip.

“Then what?” he asked.

“I’m—I’m frightened.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I frighten you?”

She nodded. Inexplicably, tears rushed to her eyes, and she hurriedly turned away before he could see.

“Why do I frighten you?” he asked.

Chloe clutched at her throat. “My—my father. G-God. My soul. And—and it’s going to ~hurt~.”

She could feel his yellow gaze boring into the side of her head.

“What about your father? And what do you mean it’s going to hurt? ~What~ will hurt? I’m not going to hurt you.” He was starting to sound angry. “How many times do I have to tell you that?”

His impatience made the tears roll faster. She tried her best to bury her emotions, but they seemed to swell inside her like a wave. Dropping her head into her hands, she burst into tears.

“Chloe!”

Suddenly his arms were around her. She didn’t resist as he pulled her into his chest. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry,” he said. He leaned his cheek against her head. “I wish you’d tell me what’s going on with you.”

Chloe’s arms were locked between their chests, her face mashed into his shoulder. He smelled ~so~ good. His skin was warm. He held her without speaking, brushing his fingers through her hair.

Slowly, her tears eased away. Chloe looked up. He looked down.

Before she knew it, they were kissing. Little kisses, his lips soft against hers. His tongue brushed against her lower lip. The blood was thrumming through her veins. Her tears dried stickily upon her cheeks.

She suddenly forgot where she was, who she was, what she was doing—that she ~shouldn’t~ be doing it. All she knew was that it felt good. It felt ~right~. How could something so right be bad?

~You are weak. You and all women like you.~

Chloe ripped her lips away with a start. She pulled from his arms.

“Chloe…”

She wiped her mouth. “I can’t… I can’t sleep with you tonight,” she said. She lowered her eyes to the floor. “I ~won’t~.”

Tor was quiet. “Yes, you will.”

“I ~can’t~.”

“Yes, you will. Just like you’ve done every night before.”

He grabbed onto her arm. Chloe didn’t bother pulling away as he guided her over to the bed.

Chloe crawled into it. She felt herself heating up, burning, as Tor climbed in after her.

Chloe lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Tor reached over and switched off the light.

He took her hand, kissed it, then rolled onto his side. As she always did, Chloe rolled onto her side too, facing away so he could spoon her.

He liked it. She liked it. It was what they always did.

Chloe felt herself burn all the hotter as he curved his big body around hers. She could feel the heat of his breath against the nape of her neck.

His arm was around her waist. Against her backside, she thought she could feel ~it~, but she couldn’t be sure.

He brushed the hair away from her shoulder. Chloe quivered. He tightened his arm around her waist.

Chloe stared across the room and through the window into outer space. It was strange to think that it wasn’t the most terrifying thing that she was encountering right now.

She was in space! With an alien! And yet it all felt so unimportant compared with what was happening between them. With what was happening within Chloe herself.

She sucked in a breath. It was like her body was moving against her will.

One moment she was facing the window, the next she was rolling over in Tor’s arms and facing him. Chloe glimpsed his eyes before she scrunched her own shut and pressed her mouth to his.

She seemed to burn from the inside, right from her hips and into her throat. She felt his hand upon her hip, and it was shooting little zaps of electric energy down into her groin. Already, she could feel herself moistening.

~You’re all weak.~

Chloe kissed harder. Tor shifted his hand from her hip to her lower back and pressed her more tightly into him.

He was grunting a little as he kissed, and each time he did, it sent a thrill of pleasure through her. He was enjoying it, and it made Chloe enjoy it all the more.

Still kissing her, he rolled her onto her back so that he was on top of her. Chloe snapped open her eyes.

This was it now. They were doing it. They were going to do it! A heavy pressure pressed down upon her chest, making it difficult to breathe—not helped by her furiously pounding heart.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Chloe couldn’t answer; the words stuck in her throat. Not knowing what else to do, she nodded.

He kissed her nose. He kissed her cheek. Then the corner of her jaw.

Chloe stiffened, then jerked as he ran his hand up beneath her shirt. Chloe fastened her eyes upon the ceiling as he touched her, stroking her nipple, gripping her breast in his big hand.

It felt good. It felt wonderful. It felt ~awful~.

A sickly feeling was starting to gnaw at her stomach.

He moved his lips to hers, lightly touching her cheek with his big hand as he kissed her again.

He smiled. He brushed his finger against her mouth, then slowly moved down her body until he reached her waist.

Chloe was panting, and she couldn’t stop trembling.

When he touched her pants, she cried out. She slapped a shaking hand to her mouth.

Tor paused. He was still and quiet, a shadow watching her.

Chloe couldn’t look back, fixing her eyes upon the ceiling again, not knowing what to do.

She couldn’t say no. She couldn’t say yes.

Both were equally desired and hated. What was wrong with her?

The mattress sank as Tor pulled away. He switched the light back on and stood by the bed.

“Chloe. ~Chloe~. Look at me.”

Slowly, she turned her face. His yellow eyes were gleaming between thick dark lashes.

His muscular frame had never looked so big.

He was beautiful. He was hideous.

All she wanted to do was mash her face into her pillow and scream, and yet she couldn’t look away.

“You’ve never been with a man before, have you?” he said.

Chloe swallowed. Her mouth was so dry she almost choked.

Clutching at the blanket, she shook her head.

A man. He said a ~man~. Not a boy. And he ~was~ a man.

But how was this going to work when she only felt like a girl?

“I’m sorry. I hadn’t even thought…” He shook his head.

Slowly, Chloe sat up, clutching the blanket to her chest.

He took a couple of steps back until his back was almost pressed up against the wall.

She was feeling better now. The sickly feeling was going away.

She took a breath, releasing it slowly between pursed lips. Her heart slowed.

“Have you even seen a man?”

Chloe shook her head.

“Do you want to?”

Chloe’s heart leapt into her throat.

TOR

Tor waited, his heart beating hard. Chloe was so pale she was almost white.

Her hands were trembling around the bedcover she was clutching tightly against her.

Tor was struggling to understand. He tried to think back to when he’d first been intimate with a woman.

He hadn’t been nervous at all. She certainly hadn’t been.

Then again, she hadn’t really been a real woman, had she? And it certainly hadn’t been her first time.

Tor frowned. This was all so complicated. Rictorians were so complicated.

She wanted to do it—he could see it in her eyes—and yet she was fearful. But fearful about what exactly?

“Do you want to?” Tor repeated.

Slowly, she nodded, though her fingers clawed into the covers.

Tor untied his pants and dropped them. He leaned against the wall, holding his hands loosely at his sides.

He brushed the hair from his shoulders, allowing her to look him over freely.

She turned whiter. Her lips were blue, and she was clutching the blanket to her throat.

“Just look at me,” he said. “Don’t think about anything else. We won’t ~do~ anything else, okay?”

What happened to the women on Rictor 5? What did the men do to them to have them be so scared?

It was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be amazing.

They’d finally gotten over the hurdle of Chloe not liking or trusting him—and yet she couldn’t make the distance. She should be excited, not scared.

It was worrying. He needed to talk with the others and find out what was going on. He knew Chloe wouldn’t tell him.

She was clutching the blanket to her face now. Her eyes kept darting to him, then to the floor, around the room, then back to him again.

Every time they dropped to his penis, they’d flick away almost immediately.

Tor tried his best to keep the frustration out of his face and his body relaxed. He made sure to keep his penis limp, too.

Again she looked at him, dropped her eyes, then flicked them away again.

“Just look at me!” he said.

With a jump, she jerked her eyes back to him. They lingered only a moment before she swiveled them away again.

Tor sighed. He really needed to get her to speak with the other women.

And not just because of the bonding, not even ~mostly~ because of the bonding; she needed to speak with someone about sex. Just sex.

It was astounding. She wasn’t a child.

“That’s enough, I think,” Tor said, pulling on his pants.

Chloe was staring at him, her eyes wide and shining with tears.

“I’ll sleep on the floor tonight.”

He could feel Chloe watching him as he gathered some blankets from the cupboard and spread them upon the floor.

Taking a pillow from the bed, he lay down and gazed up at the ceiling.

He watched her from the corner of his eye. She hadn’t moved, still clutching her blanket to her chest, though her face was filled with color now.

Too much color. She looked like a blister. He supposed it was an improvement.

“Good night, then,” he told her, and switched off the light.

Darkness descended. All was quiet except for the sound of their breathing.

He closed his eyes. Though the floor was hard and uncomfortable, his mind troubled, his body still burning with desire, he managed to fall asleep.

Some time during the night he woke. Rubbing at his face, he checked the time, only to discover it wasn’t yet close to morning.

Then he saw what had woken him. It was Chloe. She was curled up against him, her forehead pressed into his shoulder.

He gazed at her shadowy figure a long moment, his heart sitting somewhere high in his throat.

Was she asleep? Very carefully, he rolled onto his side until he was facing her.

As he pulled in close, she raised her face. Tor held still, uncertain.

Without a word, she pulled in against him and buried her face in the nape of his neck.

Tor curled around her with a sigh.