Chapter 41

Kelly Goddess, everything hurts. What the hell happened? I could feel my jaw tense from clenching my teeth. My muscles ached and even my bones hurt. I cracked open my eyes, surprised to see a structure above my head. I slowly sat up, only now noticing I was naked except for a thin sheet. And then I began to remember. Emmett’s stupid dad jokes. The ape. And then…Keres. Oh goddess, what did I do?

What can I remember? I remember Keres taking over and killing the ape…I remember chasing something, no-someone. Several someones. Did I hurt them? I think I took a swipe at Thorin…I ran Emmett into the water…and I think I was nipping at Jonas’s tail. One thing I do remember was killing…a lot. Goddess, I’m a monster.

I carefully got up and wrapped the sheet around myself like a towel, my body protesting the entire time. Its been so long since I had an incident, I almost forgot how painful it felt. I exited the small hut I was in, wondering where I was or if the guys had any clue where I was or if they were bleeding out in the forest somewhere. I saw a young girl sitting by a campfire, her face dropping when she saw me. Her head snapped in the other direction, yelling something to someone. A few moments later, an older woman emerged from another small hut diagonal from mine.

She smiled and grabbed a stack of what looked to be straw, shuffling her way over to me. She said something but I didn’t understand her, until she handed me the straw and I realised it was actually a grass skirt and top. I smiled and thanked her, grateful for the clothes. I’m confident my bag was long lost at this point. That was the least of my worries. The older woman helped me dress and the young girl styled my hair with a handmade vine crown.

“Have you seen three men?” I asked when they were finished. I doubted they could understand me with the language barrier but it was worth a shot.

“Solnyshko, you are awake.” Thorin said, emerging from the thick brush with a bundle of wood on his shoulder.

“Oh thank goddess.” I sighed in relief, making my way towards him. “Are you okay?” I asked as I hugged him, pulling back and looking over his shirt, which had a few spots where it looked like he was bleeding through.

“Eh, better days, worse days. I’m just happy you are alright.” He said, dropping the wood by the fire.

“Can I look at that?” I asked, pointing to his chest.

He grumbled but didn’t fight me when I gently pulled him to sit down next to me on a log by the fire. I helped him get his shirt off and the older woman came over with some supplies, mumbling as she did so.

“Did you give her a hard time?” I asked, removing his pitiful excuse for a bandage. There was a bowl with some clean water and a stack of fabric as well as some giant leaves and vines. Better than nothing.

“I don’t trust.” He growled as I began cleaning his wounds.

“These are deep.” I frowned.

“They are healing.” He shrugged off.

“From me?”

“From Keres.” He corrected.

“And Emmett and Jonas? Have you seen them?” I hesitantly asked, afraid to know the answer.

“They left hours ago to search for flower.” He grumbled.

“Without us?” I frowned.

“We would have held back.” He sighed disappointedly.

He was probably right too. Neither of us was in any condition to be trudging through the forest right now. Hopefully, they will be okay on their own out there. From the sounds of it, Keres was unsuccessful in damaging them like she did everything else, thank goddess.

I managed to find our first aid kit jammed into one of the bags and began sewing up Thorin. I hardly knew what I was doing, but it was better than leaving it as it was. After I wrapped him up, we had some lunch with the native women and then Thorin and I began slowly gathering more wood as a thank you for their kindness.

We rinsed off by the edge of the water, taking turns making sure nothing was going to pop out and cause trouble. I made sure to get all the remaining dirt, b***d and sweat off my skin and then helped Thorin clean up without getting his bandages wet. By then the sun was setting and we ate dinner with the ladies before excusing ourselves for the night.

“Do you think they’ll find it?” I asked Thorin as we began settling down for bed in one of the huts.

“I would be helpful if they did.” He sighed, lying on his side. “But I don’t hold breath.”

I joined him, laying on my side facing him. “You said the old woman guided them?” I asked.

“She gave them another location. It was closer than what the man told us. She lives in forest, so it made sense to follow her map first.” He nodded.

I was about to ask him something else, when the older woman came bustling in.

“Hi-” I began, sitting up slightly. “Everything okay?” I tried to ask, even though I figured she wouldn’t understand me.

She was chanting something, a bowl of brown paste in her hand. She went over to Thorin first and then me and used two fingers to smear some of the paste over our hearts. I looked over to Thorin, giving him a strange look, but he was too busy watching the woman like a hawk to notice. She finished by smearing some of the paste over my lower stomach and then smiling broadly.

“Um…thank you?” I said, smiling awkwardly.

She winked at us and then quickly left. I couldnt help but feel like this was some sort of weird blessing she was trying to give us. Did she think Thorin and I were a couple? I guess we did work well together, but we’ve known each other for years now. Maybe because Jonas and Emmett left us behind. Maybe she just assumed? But we were both physically unable to travel, which I was guessing she would be able to tell based on our current conditions.

“We should get rest.” Thorin interjected, clearing his throat and lying on his back.

“That was weird, right?” I asked.

“It was fertility blessing.” He said quietly, avoiding looking at me. “We had witch doctor back home who would do something similar.”

“Oh!” I blushed.

A fertility blessing? I guess now would be a bad time to tell her I was on birth control. Ha. But it made me wonder…

“Would you ever want any pups of your own?”

“Nyet.” He shook his head.

“Why not?” I frowned. If I ever became queen, it was literally part of my job description to procreate.

“I not be good father.” He shook his head.

“Well, I highly doubt that,” I sighed. “You always take great care of me.”

“Only you.” He grunted.

“You don’t think if you had a daughter you would treat her like you did me?” I asked.

“I do not wish to talk. Goodnight.” He said, his eyes shutting.

Of course, now that his were shut, mine were wide open. How could he not want any pups? I feel like there was more behind his answer than him just feeling like he wouldn’t be a good dad. There had to be. Did he just not like pups? He is very no-nonsense, but if it’s your own pup…I just can’t imagine not wanting any.

I only recently started humoring the idea of pups, since my medications were working so well, maybe I could carry on to full term now that Keres was moderately under control. Shewolves are discouraged from shifting soon after finding out they are pregnant. The shift can be dangerous for the pup. Keres was never trustworthy enough, but now the meds took away that possibility, for the most part, as it would seem. As long as I wasn’t sweating to death in the rainforest, that is.

To hear that Thorin didn’t want to be a father was a bit disappointing. Would I want to pursue someone who didn’t want any pups? Especially knowing that it might be my sworn duty to provide an heir one day? I wonder how Emmett and Jonas feel about pups…