Chapter 28 Epitome
Jason
The knock on the window almost startled him, but Jason was already expecting Caleb's arrival so it didn't startle him too much. Jason felt like he was still in a dream as he leaned over the desk he usually did his homework on, to open the window. Jason never told Caleb about the emergency staircase that he would have had to take to get here, but he supposed it was better than the front door. That held too high of a risk. His mom would have to get up and ask who was at the door, which would mean awkward explanations. Throw in terrible lies, and Caleb would have been sent straight back where he came from because there was no way Jason was in any way a good liar.
Jason figured he could have appreciated the fact his mother would have still deeply cared about protecting his virtue, but Jason was now well past that.
Jason's heart was pounding so hard that it reached his ears. He was sure they were flaming red as he tried to open the window, move the desk to the side silently as possible for his boyfriend, no... fiancé, to get through. The possibilities, of the endless possibilities. Caleb didn't flat out say they were going to have sex, but it wasn't like he needed to. Was he ready? Did he want to? His emotions were too all over the place to be able to place down a proper answer.
It was purely ironic when Caleb was halfway in the window, he smiled and said a little casual, "Hey." Like what they were about to do wasn't about to change Jason's life forever, before his feet touched the floor.
Jason returned the same greeting, amazed at himself that he didn't squeak instead. He was bound to throw up if this kept up, and that... couldn't happen. He backed away and was about to strip his shirt off. What stopped him was the extra pair of hands that suddenly reached over from behind to stop him.
"What are you doing?" Was there amusement laced in the question?
"I'm..." Doing what you said you wanted? Stripping? Getting ready for bed?
He tried again, even with Caleb's generally warm hands (they were currently cold) still over his own. He was trying to pull the white t shirt he was wearing up and over his head, seductively. All he managed to do was look awkward and clumsy. He barely got the hem of the shirt past his belly button when Caleb clamped his hands firm enough to stop Jason.
"If you don't want to... I'll understand." This time there was no amusement at all in his voice. It was serious. Well the whole sex thing was serious.
Without turning and with enough steel in his voice, Jason said, "But I do want to."
He hoped that he didn't sound like he was whining. He wanted to sound sure of himself. Like a full grown man. He found himself wanting to be more of a man for Caleb. At this, he blushed.
Caleb's head came to rest over the back of Jason's. He could feel his cheek pressed there. Caleb's heart couldn't be felt, but Jason was sure he did feel a vein in Caleb's neck spike once.
And so they stayed that way for a while. Caleb behind Jason, only a small lava lamp on the night stand next to Jason's bed kept the room lit, and the window was still open. It was a chilly night. Jason could almost smell a hint of the sea. Caleb continued to hold Jason from behind, he gradually started to feel his heartbeat slow down. He was starting to relax that he sighed and let his body lean into Caleb's. Caleb had moved his hands around Jason's waist and rubbed his nose against the back, shell of his Jason's left ear.
Jason had no idea how long they stood that way, but Jason was feeling relaxed enough to sleep soon.
"Walk over to the bed." Caleb rumbled. "But don't take your clothes off."
Jason almost snapped his head up but that would have resulted in a head-butt. He didn't want his Prince Charming end up to his floor with a bloody nose. Heat surfaced over his cheeks but he did as he was told. The distance from near the window to the bed never seemed as long as it did now. Jason thought of trying to twitch, at least look sexy while walking away but his limbs felt too locked in place to even attempt the simple act.
He placed one knee down on the bed that was in the corner of his room against the wall. His shadow grew shorter as neared the bed, but he didn't feel Caleb follow. Caleb was heading in the other direction instead. Jason's heart pounded hard in his ears, was Caleb leaving? Did he think Jason wasn't ready?
Jason was about to say something but Caleb reached over to the window, and snapped it shut, closing out his worries. His heart didn't seem to want to calm down. He had to gulp once more. He'd never gone this far with anyone before. Then again, Caleb wasn't an 'anyone'.
Caleb seemed to stare out the window at first, both hands still on the panel. Jason wondered what it was he was seeing out there in the dark. He paused there, dressed in a black pea coat. A black scarf was wrapped around his neck in a couple of circles. His head was tilted to one side before he smirked, lopsided. At himself? Was he nervous too?
Caleb unwound his scarf at first, never looking Jason's way. Next came the coat, which he was now folding neatly over the computer chair behind him. He slid himself out of it too quickly that Jason might have blinked and missed it. Caleb had to walk a couple paces behind him to leave his now folding jacket over the back of the computer chair. The sound was suddenly deafening to Jason's ears. He never had company over this late, but Caleb wasn't just company. He was his fiancé.
Holy crap! Fiancé! They weren't even officially married yet! Were they really going to do this?
Before Jason could think about the events that took place at dinner earlier that night... Jason had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment, he was too close to dry heaving. When he opened them, Caleb was staring at him. Jason had a hard time looking at him at first but forced himself too. Jason was sitting his back against the wall in the center of his bed. He didn't have any socks on. Just the t shirt and pajama bottoms. His heart thudded once more at the realization that Caleb was no longer as overdressed.
Caleb was wearing a low neck black shirt. He put his hands in each jean pocket, as if suddenly unsure of what came next. The long silver chain necklace with a dog tag attached at the end of it was what Jason tried to focus on next. He needed to think of something mundane. Make himself relax again. He was using all the willpower he could to focus on an inanimate object and he counted silently in his head to ten.
One, this was supposed to be something amazing, not feared.
Two, Caleb was still staring at him.
Three, he could do this. He was going to do this.
Four, Caleb did another head tilt.
Five, Jason needed to pull his legs against his chest and loosely wrap his arms around them.
Six, Caleb seemed to be trying to get his attention but Jason wasn't ready for that yet. Soon. Real soon. He needed just a little more time.
Seven, Jason was focusing on his breathing. It was still difficult but it would get easier.
Eight, he took a long inhale followed by a longer exhale.
Nine, It was easier now.
Ten, Jason met Caleb's eyes.
Caleb met his stare, and their eyes locked once more. The world outside of their stare turned blurry and shifted awkwardly. Jason couldn't bring himself to look away. What stopped it all was when Caleb reached up with one hand, let out a long breath, raked his fingers through his hair from the front to the back. His arm fell back at his side, limp.
Caleb pulled his other hand out of the pocket, that it joined his other hand at the bottom of his shirt. Jason felt calm enough now that he felt his mouth get wetter. At a moderate pace that wasn't too fast or too slow, pulled the bottom of his shirt up and over his head. Caleb was shirtless. Shirtless and standing in his room. He looked GOOD! Perfect!
This was the first time Jason had ever seen Caleb like this. His mouth continued to fill with saliva at the tightness of Caleb's skin. He closed his mouth making an inaudible sound. Caleb smirked, like this was nothing to him but he stayed where he was.
Jason knew what had to come next. He did it without having to look at what he was doing. He pulled his shirt over his head a tad quicker, next to how Caleb took his off. He didn't take it off the same way Caleb did. Jason did it one handed, like he always did when he undressed himself. His knees came down, his feet were pointed directly up and he didn't see where his shirt landed.
A bit self-consciously, Jason tied his hands behind his back. Jason felt Caleb's eyes on him without having to see. He was watching, eyes seemed to burn his skin everywhere they went. If that wasn't erotic enough, Jason didn't know what was.
The bed moved when Caleb finally sat, Jason was paralyzed from the waist up, afraid to turn, worried of what Caleb might think of him. Suddenly, Jason felt like he was almost unworthy, like his body wasn't perfect enough. He was afraid again, but it wasn't like Caleb had run screaming from the room yet. So that was a good sign.
Jason worked out, maybe not as much as Caleb looked like he did, but then, there was a tiny roll down by his belly button...
Caleb kept his eyes locked with Jason's as he bent slightly to untie his shoes. He heard the first clack to the floor. Then came the next. He never knew the socks came off, if Caleb was wearing any. Maybe Jason should have turned on some music? To help ease the nerves, maybe even mask the noises they might make tonight?
Jason was hardly aware that Caleb was leaning, closer, his lips closed over his, parted, pinched at Jason's lips and released again. Jason was at war with himself. He wanted desperately to lock his arms around his neck. To pull him closer, get a better taste. It didn't matter that they had kissed plenty of times before, Jason found he could never get enough. Sometimes the kisses were feverish, other times a different kind of heat. It was like he was kissing two different men at certain points. He could be kissing a Prince or a regular guy he met at school. It was never always the same.
The Prince version was usually the more careful kind. The guy he met at school was ravishing, like a bad boy. Right now, it seemed to be a healthy mix of the two. Jason returned the kiss just as passionately. Unfortunately, it ended too soon again. Jason found himself licking his lips, getting a savor of the flavor Caleb left behind.
Here comes the scary part.
Jason heard the belt unbuckle but didn't hear anything else. Caleb had to scoot around a little and Jason didn't look downward. He was afraid if he did, the nice little moment they were having would end. He would look later. Jason reached down and tried to fumble with waistband but again, he was too clumsy as he went about it. His elbow bumped into the wall making the whole effort as unsexy as possible.
"Not yet." It had felt like a really long time since Jason heard him speak.
Caleb paused before continuing to shrug out of his jeans. Jason slipped and felt his eyes dilate at how snug the boxer briefs fit on Caleb. They were gray and almost silky looking. He didn't realize he was hard until now. He could feel himself leaking, his member pounding with fresh blood, begging to be touched. Preferably by Caleb, no other.
Jason must have finished because he heard the heap of the jeans fall to the ground. It was almost muted, but he still heard it. Caleb's hand reached for Jason that Jason was bracing himself for another kiss. His hands moved smoothly over to the waistband. He was cupping Jason's butt cheeks. Jason could feel his warm hands through the fabric. There was a bit of maneuvering involved before sliding them off. The scent of Caleb had Jason almost going cross eyed.
Caleb kissed him again. This time with more vigor. Before Jason knew it, his pajama bottoms had vanished. When Caleb threw his head back, Jason could feel the bed move and hear the headboard bump into the wall, the mattress shook with his laughter. Was he laughing at him?
Now Jason was able to turn, eyes accusing. "What's so funny?"
"We match!"
Jason glanced down and sure enough, they were both wearing the same boxer briefs, down to the last stitch. Jason somehow managed to forget but he didn't laugh. He just stared back at Caleb. "I love you."
They were holding each other close, it seemed without either of them realizing it. Somewhere along the line, Caleb had scooted up with his back also against the wall. He was almost cradling Jason in his arms. Jason searched through Caleb's eyes, looking for a reaction, any reaction. He couldn't tell, other than the fact that Caleb had ceased all laughter. It was as if he too were searching through Jason's eyes with many unasked questions. None of which, surfaced.
"Lay down on the bed." He said, not quite commanding, but directional enough. "I want to see you. All of you."
The nerves that wrecked his body once, did not return. They almost did. Jason went down on his back but was in a soldier like position. Arms, legs close together as he almost shivered at the memory of Caleb using those very same words. A different location, a whole other lifetime. His boxer briefs were fully tented much to his embarrassment, but that didn't seem to make Caleb look away in disgust. Instead his eyes lingered there in that same spot. Goosebumps started to pick up along his skin. It was cold without Caleb being close enough.
Caleb stared, as if memorizing every part of his body. Jason felt heat come back to his cheeks. He left like he was being observed on an observation table. His arms were close to his sides while his legs seemed glued together. Caleb's eyes traveled from the tips of his toes, then up the last hair on his head. Everywhere his eyes turned, Jason's body reacted. Could Caleb see the heat that rose at every fleshy bit his eyes lingered?
With no warning, Caleb fisted the covers and sheets that was once nicely made behind his back, they were suddenly out from under him and over the both of them. Jason made an indescribable sound during the motion when Caleb's body fell over his. Lips met his at the very same time. Jason's body was the far opposite of cold now.
Heat. So much heat. It was like his body became engulfed in flames. Jason was hardly aware that he was starting to sweat on his back. His legs had parted, pinning Caleb in place. The sheets were far over Caleb that they were past his shoulders. Only his head could be visible. Jason was completely enveloped in Caleb. It was better than all his previous fantasies.
Caleb was grinding with Jason. Jason didn't realize what was happening but they were both pulling at their own waistbands. Jason was leaking so much, but he realized this just a bit later, not all the leakage was his. Strange liquid was spilling over his stomach in a sticky mess. Most of it seemed to come from Caleb.
Jason didn't want to ruin the moment by asking how long it had been for him. For Jason, this was his first time.
Caleb was hovering over Jason, Jason planted his hands over Caleb's lips. It was dark, but there was enough light to see his face, blissful and needy. Jason hardly noticed the way Caleb took each thigh and parted his legs further. He didn't even question the warm throbbing member of Caleb was being pressed into Jason. They were doing this without any lube. Perhaps the leakage spilling from Caleb's member would pass as lube.
Jason had to grunt through the pain and Caleb pressed harder. It was extremely uncomfortable at first but it didn't take long until a blinding sensation hit. Jason closed his eyes, opened them, closed them again. He felt blind, numb with an amazing sensation. His arms locked around Caleb's neck, tight with tension. Was it possible that they were really doing this? That Jason had a sweet spot down there after all?
Caleb held still for a moment as that blinding sensation passed. His lips were pressed firmly together in deep concentration. He moved again but the amazing feeling didn't come again. It hurt, a lot, but Jason couldn't bring himself to make this all stop. Caleb was inside of him. That was where he wanted him. Jason was willing to take all the pain it took to keep Caleb this close.
He felt Caleb pull out, only to press back in and white lines rimmed his vision. Caleb was close. Caleb jutted out a broken breath before pulling out some and jammed back in again. There! He found it again! Jason's back arched and he had to hide his face at the base of Caleb's shoulder to smother the strangled cry.
He hardly realized he was whispering the words, "Don't let me go, don't let me go," Over and over again.
Caleb sucked in a breath, held still before the word, "Tight," was said out loud.
Jason wanted him to keep going, he started move but Caleb was shaking his head violently. The veins in his neck were sticking out. His face was scarlet red. This brought alarm to Jason that he had to ask if he was ok.
Caleb didn't answer right away. When he did, he said, "Don't move. I'll come. You're too tight."
Jason wasn't sure if that was really a compliment or not. He figured now wasn't the time to ask. All he wanted was to feel that amazing feeling again. To be blissful on that floating white cloud again. Jason obeyed and stayed still. The red on Caleb's face started to clear, no veins were visible, but his eyes were still down cast deep in concentration.
Caleb grabbed a fistful of Jason's member that Jason almost squealed. He had to plant his face at the base of Caleb's shoulder again. It was hard and unfortunately restricting their pleasurable moment, but he didn't want to risk waking his mom. Caleb was jerking Jason off in time for him to push himself in and out. Sometimes he hit that same sweet spot that left Jason almost drooling at Caleb's shoulder, other times he did not.
When Caleb did hit that spot as he jerked Jason off faster, Jason thought his very head was going to pop off at any moment. Caleb seemed to sense this and pressed his lips over Jason's, keeping him in place. Keeping him whole.
Then he stopped. Jason had to do some maneuvering to get a look at Caleb's face. Did he do something wrong? But what he expected wasn't this. Caleb had a look on his face that looked adoring... passionate. If the word in the dictionary came with a picture, it should be this. The smile was faint, his eyes smoldered, no galvanized.
Jason felt himself fall from the high that he was building up to. For a while they stayed that way again. Caleb snug and deep inside. Caleb took a hold of a thigh, Jason let him, repositioned himself some, and Caleb pushed himself back inside.
They rocked, for what felt like hours, gazing into each-other's faces. Soon they were both able to read each other enough. Caleb could tell where to aim and Jason knew how to move. They had found their rhythm, the tension down below building once more.
Caleb placed his lips over the base of Jason's neck, marking him as his. He stopped again, the rush of the build falling again. Before it could reach ground level, Caleb picked up where he left off again. Jason realized he could do this all night. It would be worth it.
So when that moment started to build, get close, Caleb didn't stop. It was a race to the finish this time. This was it. The moment everyone wrote books, made movies and wrote songs about. None of it could compare to the experience.
Epitome. Maybe that was the only word that could closely resemble to the way Jason felt. He felt like his jaw was close to dislocating as he buried the back of his head in the pillow behind his head. His hands tightened on parts of Caleb. Jason wasn't sure at first but he felt Caleb go tense all around at that moment too. They locked gazes once more at most pivotal point.
The jets that spewed from Jason's hand, barely felt, all there was, was Caleb. Caleb was everywhere, buried deep beneath the skin. In his heart. There was no place inside or out that wasn't touched by Caleb.
Caleb dropped his face, eyes closed briefly, Jason watched with a mixture of appreciation and empathy. Caleb's mouth was ajar, eyes still blazing, fell back down to Jason. He bent down, placed his lips back down first over Jason's lips, then back down to the base of his neck where he marked his lover. His fiancé.
Forever.