Chapter 40

There’s a saying that a person goes through a total of three destined relationships before reaching adulthood.

Perhaps that adage also applied to life on the battlefield. The third relationship was just flowing into his life, after all.

“Oh, the main character appeared.”

It started the moment he returned to the barracks after his meeting with Setsunen.

“Now, everyone, pay attention! Our rookie will introduce himself,” Alidona said.

The members of the Knights of the Iron Cross began to laugh, applaud, or whistle.

“We made a little bet. Do you mind, Fake Warrior?”

“…?”

“I bet two gold coins that you were an imperial noble before becoming a Fake Warrior. You have that kind of atmosphere!”

“There’s nothing to worry about. Most of the Iron Cross are descendants of noble families. The same holds true for me. True nobles like the captain and Mern are a minority.”

Kaisen felt that something was off. Since it was a knight order made up of only imperial nobles, he expected it to be stiff and old-fashioned, unlike the other corps…

No, there was definitely a system in place: praying at a set time, taking care of one’s appearance, taking care of personal hygiene, etc. Even sitting down neatly at tables to eat was a difference.

That was it, though. Them talking loudly with each other reminded him of the old White Bone Corps.

He felt the warmth of those many days and recalled old sounds, smells, and sensations. He’d always felt confused by such atmospheres after the White Bone Corps was annihilated.

His world felt like it was shaking, and his vision blurred. Just when he was about to decline…

Alidona approached with a sly smile on her face. “Rookie, the battle started right after you arrived, so we didn’t have time to talk, but we should at least introduce ourselves, right?”

“Rookie?”

“Yes, Rookie! What else would you be? You’re the youngest. Do you see that guy serving drinks over there? His name is Kwen. He just became a squire and he is the same age as you.”

She offered him a drink, the swirling wine resembling the blood staining the ground outside.

He felt nauseous and turned his head away. “Alcohol is…”

“Yeah, no. If you’re not going to introduce yourself, at least drink it. It’s a congratulatory drink and is almost alcohol-free. You won’t get drunk anyway since you’re a Fake Warrior.” The red-haired priestess burped out a breath reeking of alcohol.

Was that person really a priestess? She was the top witch… respected by everyone, but she was a heavy smoker and drinker.

It felt like the world was really coming to an end. He looked to Loveris for help.

Did it seem like he was asking for permission?

Loveris, who was sitting at the head table and sipping wine, nodded rather than stopping them. “I’m sorry for letting you get caught up in Alidona’s pressure. That’s the kind of person she is. She seems drunk, so if you pretend to go along with her, she’ll stop eventually.”

As soon as he accepted the drink from Alidona, the cheers grew louder.

He stared blankly at his glass of wine, and for some reason, he felt stuffy, and his head hurt. The words deeply embedded in his heart flowed out of their own accord. “I’ll just be honest. I can’t get along with many people. I don’t even want to.”

He wanted to make it clear, even though he knew he would be met with a sharp and hostile silence after the excitement subsided.

“How can you guys… be smiling like that when you’ve been on the battlefield longer than me?” he asked.

“…?”

“Don’t you know that the friends you’re laughing and chatting with could die as easily as a bug on the side of the road?”

“…”

“If such painful parting is inevitable… why make such connections…?”

Time spent together… The feelings they shared… What if all those times and memories… ended up turning into a nightmare?

“Isn’t it meaningless to make friends…?”

‘I was born like this. I can’t be a hero who leads everyone like my mother was. My heart is too weak.

‘Is it really right to vent my anger like this when their burden is as heavy as my own? Regardless, I wanted to tell someone how I felt.

‘I wanted them to know my narrow path of the sword is one I walk alone.

“Hmm, meaningless?” Alidona leaned in until she was just a hair’s breadth away. Her actions somehow felt full of vicious intent.

Kaisen backed away.

Alidona smiled. “Honestly, I thought you were a bad kid. You don’t really think that way.”

“…?”

“The first thing you grabbed as you stepped away were the shortsword at your waist and the ice necklace around your neck. Doesn’t that mean you value them more than your life?”

“…!”

“You don’t think those memories are meaningless.”

It felt as if a blade had pierced his heart. Shame… It could be called shame. He was still too young and full of youthful stubbornness to admit it.

“Kaisen, have you ever read a book?” Loveris asked. “Books are a microcosm of life. One volume can contain a person’s life. Isn’t that amazing? Depending on the person, it only takes half a day to a day to read an entire life.”

“…”

“The more you read, the closer it gets to the end, but no one reads a book and thinks, ‘The story will end soon anyway, so it’s meaningless to continue.’”

They knew that it would end someday, and there was sadness, but there was also joy that could only be found in the story of such a life—life in which joy and sorrow repeated, intertwined, and bloomed was the providence of the gods.

“If you harbor such thoughts and don’t read the book at all, giving up on all aspects of life, then how will you know where life could lead or how it could end?

“This is the answer to the question you asked earlier. Think about it carefully.”

Kaisen’s head felt as if it were filled with cotton. He wanted to, no, he had to refute her words, but he didn’t have the wisdom, intelligence, or experience to do so.

He needed a drink of cold water… Forgetting he was holding wine, he gulped it down and felt better.

Strangely, he felt closer to the truth and suspiciously hot at the same time. In that closeness and heat… he didn’t need any strength to go up to the door of truth in his heart and turn the knob.

“You’re betting on me… alright. Let me tell you why I’m like this! I’ll make you shed tears.”

“Kya. It’s started. It’s started!”

“Did he get drunk from just one drink?”

“Fake Warriors don’t get drunk, right?”

Loveris felt that something was off and looked at Alidona, who smiled and put a finger to her mouth as she poured more wine into the glass.

It seemed that she’d abused her magical knowledge and done something strange to the wine.

“That woman… she played that same trick on me before…” Loveris sighed and closed her eyes.

Words poured from Kaisen’s mouth, as if they’d been coagulating in his body for years until being flushed out.

“I was born in Aslan, a village at the end of the earth…”

“Aslan? Isn’t this the old empire’s naming method?”

“What, he isn’t an imperial noble?!”

“Hey, where are you going? Bring all the gold coins!”

Mern crossed her arms next to Loveris. “Captain, is it okay to let Alidona’s prank go on like this?”

“I would have normally intervened, but this is good for the boy.”

“Why?”

“If he doesn’t let it out, it’ll fester and explode one day.” Loveris finished the remaining wine in her glass and looked up at the sky.

The annihilation of the White Bone Corps…

Though he hadn’t shown it when they met, being one of the only ones to survive must have been painful.

Kaisen continued, “My mother’s name was Irene… That was an alias, her real name is Raminea… Raminea Alter Aradamantel…”

A silence blanketed the room.

“My mother deserted… gave birth to me and my sister… and lived happily with my father… and even raised a hunting dog named Sam… he was very smart… he often followed my parents to the early morning service and waited quietly in the church yard… ahh he was very cute.”

“…”

“My mother always… went running to me as soon as I made the slightest cry… until I started laughing, then she would actually get more upset…”

Again, the painful hole in his chest tore open. Could it be that even intoxication dared not numb the pain he couldn’t fully voice?

He could barely continue speaking and clutched his chest as breathing became harder.

“Even when the uruks came… I didn’t want my mother to leave, so I hid. She came looking for me… but because of me… she died trying to save me…”

“…”

“There was a chance, sob sob sob, because mother challenged Balkarro in Kaltake and overwhelmed him…”

The soldiers looked startled. “What, Kaltake? Then that brand on his cheek is from then…”

“If only I hadn’t screamed… My mother was the pillar of my life… but I… I… was only a burden一”

By the time he realized something was precious, it was already gone.

The same went for the White Bone Corps—just as he realized they were as important as family, he wasn’t able to share it.

“ 一fuck it, shut that fucking mouth of yours!” Teval suddenly approached him and grabbed him by the collar, forcing him to shut up. “Hey, you damn kid… Do you think you can do everything?”

Teval was powerful enough to easily subdue Kaisen, even with his strengthened body. “People around you died because you didn’t have enough power? Don’t make me laugh!”

Teval’s grip around Kaisen’s collar was tremoring, but there was no hostility behind the man’s gaze. “It’s natural that you can’t do anything. Nothing! What on earth could a 13-year-old kid do?! Those deaths were not your fault!”

Mern spoke up. “Teval, stop yelling, and let the boy go.”

“Why does such a young kid carry this burden in his heart?” Teval met Mern’s eyes and let Kaisen go before he stomped out the door. He was thinking of his own son, who died at 10 years old.

Mern didn’t ask, but she supported Kaisen and quietly said, “Kaisen, no one is telling you to forget those deaths.”

“…”

“Do you know the story of Rista Alter Schirpin? My ancestor, Kies, was a member of her hero party. That is the pride of my life.”

Rista Alter Schirpin was the legendary Fake Warrior who conquered the 1st Era of Turmoil. Her historical existence was why Schirpin was considered a holy sword of a higher rank than Aradamantel.

Kies was the most powerful imperial knight of that era and considered the greatest one of all time.

“Through Great Mage Lynn’s sacrifice, the expedition was successful. My ancestor lived a really hard life, more so than anyone else. Do you know why?”

“…I don’t know.”

“When he died and met Lynn again, he wanted to tell her that her sacrifice was not in vain and that, thanks to her, he was able to live a fulfilling life.”

His teacher’s smile as she died and the happiness she dreamed of flowed into his mind. “Tell me how happily you lived…”

Mern continued, “I really like that story. If we keep crying, will the people who died before us really be happy? Rather than crying, we should live happily, to feel the joy they no longer can.”

‘Living happily…? In a world like this…?’ He tried to laugh, but nothing came out. Rather, it reminded him of the promise he shared with Tarcio in the Temple of the Sword of Bravery.

“Kaisen, I didn’t lend you Bloodwind because I hoped it would be useful to you.” As if seeping into that distant promise, Loveris’s voice sounded natural. “He’s a gift meant to welcome you into our Knights of the Iron Cross.”

“…A gift?”

“We follow the same mission as you, and we are family. There is nothing special about giving gifts to family.”

Family… A gift to your family…

“Kaisen, why are you so scared? From the moment you came here, you haven’t been alone,” Alidona said.

Was it just an illusion that his mother’s smile seemed to be superimposed on hers? “When you reach your limit and want to cry, don’t try to hold it in. Drop everything and cry. You are not god, a hero, or a devil. It’s okay to cry and stand again. That’s what people do.”

He didn’t want to cry? What was she talking about…? His face felt warm from the unbidden tears.

“My Kai, I’m sorry. You must have been so scared because I wasn’t there; I just had to do the laundry…”

Why did it feel like he was hearing his mother’s forgotten voice?

“Are you okay?! Now that mommy is here, you don’t have to cry. No, you can cry if you want! You’re okay. You’re okay. Yes, peekaboo! Arururu, peekaboo!”

His emotions from that day were finally coming out.

“Oh… you’re smiling now.”

* * *

“What about Kaisen?” Loveris asked.

Alidona answered her question with a burp. “Teval carried him to bed. I never expected him to fall asleep after crying. He’s just a big kid.”

“As I said, he’s not even 20 years old yet. He’s just 18. His body and mind should be maturing in the Temple of Sword of Bravery, but he’s fighting on the battlefield. The Fake Warriors are all too young in this war.”n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

Loveris thought back to the past. She wondered what kind of change of heart it took for Kamila, who seemed to have given up on everything, to accept him as a disciple…

‘When dealing with the Mauna Roa, it wasn’t a coincidence that he seemed closer to Ramina and not Kamila in appearance.’

Was the lineage of and light of a hero passed down like that?

Did the Three Heroic Dragons know? Of course they knew. If Raminea’s death was covered up, even the Imperial Court would know.

“Iron Cross, I am issuing a strict silence order, banning you from revealing what we heard here today until the day you die.”

“Until I die? That’s a good thing.”

“Retri, what are you so happy about?”

“After we die and go to heaven, we’ll have something to boast about. We had a drink with Raminea’s son, right? We fought shoulder to shoulder on the battlefield.”

“Hey, man! You were behind him. What do you mean, ‘shoulder to shoulder’?”

“You bastard! We fought shoulder to shoulder. Don’t you know that such a thing is just a metaphor, like a poetic expression!”

Alidona asked Loveris. “But what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“You talked so much about family and all, but… you don’t have much time left now.”

A sad silence hovered between them.

Loveris poured the last of the wine into her glass and muttered, “As you know, the Paige family has precognitive dreams. They are very abstract, so it is difficult to interpret them, and there are very few people who can dream them, so they are meaningless.”

“I know, and you’re one of the very few who may or may not appear once in a hundred years.”

“I’ve always had dreams like this since Master passed away during the ‘Black Summer.’”

“What dreams?”

“Dreams in which countless corpses are floating in a sea of ​​blood, creating stepping stones. I stand such nightmares with the only lamp, and at the end of the sea of ​​blood is the ‘Gate to Autumn.’”

“The ‘Gate to Autumn’ huh? You become a poet sometimes.”

“The corpses are all people close to me. A teacher, colleagues, friends, seniors, subordinates, and my disciple…”

“Loro…”

“When I see it, I think, ‘Oh. I have to overcome their deaths and go beyond them to open the ‘Gate to Autumn’.”

The deaths that lay on the trajectory of Loveris’s life were dozens of times more than those that piled up along Kaisen’s path.

Still, she calmly said, “Today I had a dream, and Kaisen was standing behind me.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t the one to open that door. I was born as a mere stepping stone for him.”

Alidona immediately realized what her old friend was trying to say and gave a sad smile. “I see.”

Those who became heroes had to lose precious people and use them as stepping stones to carry the ‘light of the world’ into the future.

‘That’s not a road a normal person can walk on…’

That lone path of only the sword was what those who had been called Warriors since the beginning of time walked.

Alidona did not put those momentary thoughts into words.

She didn’t dare to say it in front of her friend, who had walked that path her whole life. She just vaguely said, “What should we do? That child will be all alone again…”

* * *

December, 1697 AD.

After the Battle against the Mauna Roa, the Red Mountain Front blocked several more major invasions.

Mirngadia of the Heavenly Castle summoned all the major commanders and spoke. 「Do you know what it means for the Mauna Roa to have reawakened after less than 20 years?」

The Mauna Roa was the Incarnation of Kings. The stronger the King’s power, the less time it would take to acquire a new body.

「The Kings’ second coming is near. Just as the Mauna Roa was able to awaken, high-ranking Kings also began to awaken.」

“一!”

「An ‘emergency heat wave warning’ is being issued to all fronts.」

It was a military term referring to the general mobilization order for when the abyss spread in the summer, and the survival of all humankind was threatened.

The moment the order was issued, all of humanity entered a state of war, and all material and human resources were conscripted into the military.

「It seems like this war has fully started.」

____