Do you know what it feels like to see the man you like only looking at someone else?
Every time Sylvia witnessed him blushing while talking to another person, her heart felt like it was about to burn away.
But she thought that it was a problem that would naturally resolve itself if only she was given a little more time.
After all, Sylvia had never once thought she was inferior to anyone.
As for the girl with the red hair whom she considered barely any better than herselfâ¦
She had seen that girl holding hands with the man she liked, happily chatting away just the two of them, blushing shyly as they pecked each other on the cheek, and finally, there she was, dressed in a wedding gown, getting married to him.
In every single moment, seeing Scarlet with her red eyes, mocking her with a grin, was anything but pleasant for Sylvia.
To be exact, it wasnât just unpleasant; it was extremely vexing.
It made her frown involuntarily.
âItâs just an illusion anyway.â
Sylvia had realized long ago that she was witnessing an illusion.
Thatâs why it made her feel so bad.
It troubled her that what her subconscious feared or cringed at was so trivial.
Wasnât it just a bit humiliating to feel inferior to Scarlet, even for a moment?
After a few deep breaths and focusing her mind, the illusion faded away.
Even after escaping the illusion, she found herself preoccupied with Scarlet every time she saw her.
Feeling such emotions made her even more upset; Sylvia clicked her tongue.
She had to gather her thoughts to avoid lashing out at Scarlet, who was her usual self, offering her macarons.
*
I want macarons.
When that thought crossed her mind, it felt strangely natural when Scarlet soon presented her with a macaron.
âCan she read my thoughts or something?â
Suppressing the irritation bubbling up from the illusion she had seen yesterday, Sylvia asked Scarlet how she knew she wanted macarons.
âBecause weâre friends, I can tell.â
It was an utterly baffling response.
Particularly, Sylvia didnât think of her as a friend at all.
Not understanding, she bluntly asked if there was a reason for her to keep buying macarons, but Scarlet simply reiterated that it was because they were friends.
Honestly, Sylvia thought Scarlet would tire and give up soon.
They hardly exchanged any conversation, and she only expressed gratitude occasionally when Scarlet bought her macarons. To call it friendship when no one was asking for anything in return was a bizarre situation.
She figured that Scarlet would soon show her true colors.
But whether it was patience or an absence of pride, Scarlet kept repeating the same actions since the very first day without a hint of dissatisfaction.
Yet, that unwavering demeanor didnât feel bad to her.
Sylvia thought it was much better than those who approached her under the pretense of wanting to be friends only to quickly change their attitudes.
And that day, as she passed through the first-floor corridor on an errand, she saw a familiar figure carrying someone into the infirmary.
Leonor Lionelle.
The child of a famous hero, she had occasionally mingled with Sylvia since childhood. Sylvia saw her carrying Scarlet, who had quite literally just handed her macarons, into the infirmary and peeked inside out of curiosity.@@novelbin@@
Inside, Leonor was laying Scarlet down on a bed when their eyes met.
Leonor smiled at her meaningfully and asked Scarlet, whose expression was different from usual,
âHey, I remembered your name earlier. Youâre the one being Astraâs little servant, right?â
Little servant, huh.
Sylvia had never once thought of Scarlet in that way.
There was no way she would make someone do something so barbaric. Aside from the initial playful request for macarons, everything else was just Scarlet taking the initiative.
But could others see it that way?
Just as Sylvia was about to open her mouth to defend herself, Scarlet spoke in a voice that sounded like she was high on something.
âNo way, Iâm not! Sheâs my friend!â
It seemed like she was just letting whatever popped into her head slip out.
As a result, Sylvia felt a twinge of shock.
A possibility she had never considered had just dawned on her.
âIf you dislike it, I could tell her to stop, how about that?â
âI donât want you to⦠I want to do it⦠Otherwise, I wonât have friendsâ¦â
ââ¦Is that so?â
Scarletâs declaration of wanting to be friends made Leonor smile as she faced Sylvia.
Sylvia felt confused.
âIs it really just that she wanted to be my friend?â
She had assumed that Scarlet was lowering her pride because she wanted something from her.
But what if,
Scarlet was buying her macarons every day simply because she called her a friend?
What if she was just a naïve fool who genuinely thought they were friends?
As those thoughts ran through her mind, Sylvia found herself fleeing the infirmary and returning to her classroom.
That couldnât be true.
She hoped it wasnât like that.
If so, didnât it mean she was a terrible person?
Her ears burned with shame and flushed red.
ââ¦Scarlet is not feeling well, so sheâs lying down in the infirmary.â
Responding to the teacherâs question about Scarletâs whereabouts, Sylvia thought,
Am I really allowed to trust her this time?
Does she truly just want to be my friend?
If itâs indeed true.
If she maintains this consistent attitude toward me for a while,
What should I do?
*
As her thoughts shifted, receiving the macarons offered by Scarlet felt somewhat awkward now.
Normally, she would have accepted them without a second thought and said something like, âWeâre friends, right?â but nowadays, those words felt too difficult to say.
ââ¦Thank you.â
Even uttering those simple words of gratitude felt foreign to Sylvia.
It wasnât just a superficial gesture; it was a bit sincere as well.
*
The next day, for some reason, Scarlet, who usually arrived at school early except on the first day, was late.
âScarlet, youâre late.â
Sylvia muttered to herself, unable to shake her concern.
A moment later, she heard the voice of Yoon Si-woo, who was sitting beside her.
âSylvia, can we talk for a sec?â
The man she liked was leading her to a secluded spot.
Her heart raced, thinking it was a confession moment like the ones discussed by other girls.
Cooling her cheeks that were flushing with anticipation, she awaited his words.
And then Yoon Si-woo spoke.
âIâd like you to stop accepting things from Scarlet.â
Sylvia couldnât comprehend the situation for a moment.
Why was he talking to her about her after calling her over?
Realizing it wasnât the scenario she had anticipated, she took a deep breath and replied.
âUh⦠Could you explain why I should do that?â
âThe reason is⦠I canât say, but just please do it.â
Just when she had begun considering that Scarlet might actually be treating her as a friend.
Why was he asking her to stop accepting macarons from Scarlet?
It was impossible to fathom Yoon Si-wooâs reasoning as he refused to provide any justification.
âIt feels a bit harsh to tell me to stop without stating a reason. Scarlet is simply being kind to me as a friend by buying me macarons.â
When Sylvia said this, Yoon Si-woo frowned slightly and retorted,
âLiar.â
âWhat?â
âItâs a lie. You donât view that girl as a friend.â
Sylvia felt her breath catch in her throat.
It was true.
She still hadnât thought of Scarlet as a friend.
She had only begun to wonder if it was possible to befriend her just a day ago.
It was indeed the truth, but the look in Yoon Si-wooâs eyes, as if she was nothing more than garbage playing with Scarletâs feelings, angered her slightly.
ââ¦I donât understand why you feel that way. To say such nonsenseâ¦â
âStop. I know everything.â
Cutting her off, Yoon Si-woo shot back.
In some way, he spoke as if he had already condemned her as a bad person, which made her suspect that Scarlet had said something to him.
Although she had just begun to contemplate an openness to becoming friends with Scarlet.
Wasnât it wrong to suspect someone who wanted to be her friend?
She desired companionship too but feared they might turn out to be users.
Was that so wrong that it deserved a scolding from the very first person she had ever liked?
Feeling hurt, Sylvia shouted,
âWhat the hell is this?! Why do you always care about her? I⦠I like you so much moreâ¦!â
In the midst of her shouting, she caught Yoon Si-wooâs gaze.
His eyes were as cold as if to say that she didnât deserve anything.
Yeah, she was that kind of person.
She had managed fine without friendships, so she could continue that way.
ââ¦Alright. Iâll stop receiving macarons from Scarlet. After all, we werenât friends to start with.â
*
While they were eating, a macaron was suddenly thrust in front of her.
How did she know I was craving macarons?
But now, that didnât matter.
Ignoring the macaron Scarlet had offered her upon arriving late to school, Sylvia said,
âI donât need it.â
Seeing her tilt her head in confusion, Sylvia reiterated,
âDid you not hear? I said I donât need it. You donât have to keep buying me macarons. I have no reason to accept them from you.â
âBut⦠but, friendsâ¦â
With a quivering voice, she spoke to Sylvia, causing a twinge of guilt.
Maybe she truly wanted to become friends with her.
But even if that was the case,
âIâm sorry about that. Itâs my fault. So, Iâll be honest from now on.â
She was a suspicious person who toyed with her feelings, treating her like a servant.
She didnât even deserve to become her friend.
âI never thought of you as my friend from the beginning.â
So she shouldnât become friends with her.
Watching Scarletâs face contort in pain, Sylvia thought exactly that.