Don't let anyone's opinion of you change how you move through this world. You've got more important things to focus on.
Excerpt of recovered correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Thana Valaren.
~
The rest of November passed by without another awkward run-in with Violet and her friends. By the time December arrived, Thana had nearly given up on hoping that Liam would ever have any time for her.
Xaden, on the other hand, had somehow found enough time between brooding and leading the Fourth Wing to start training with her and Garrick. She hated every second of it.
Today, the gym was half-filled with first-years desperate to prepare for the challenges that would resume after the solstice. As Thana followed Xaden and Garrick inside, her gaze landed on Rhiannon and Violet sparring at the center of the room. Nearby, Imogen had Ridoc locked in a chokehold. Liam sat on a bench carving his latest masterpieceâhe didn't need more training.
"You're getting tired. I don't want to hurt you," Rhiannon said.
"Challenges resume soon. You're not doing me any favours," Violet shot back.
"She's not wrong," Xaden commented as he passed.
Thana might have laughed if he didn't sound like he wasâalmostâflirting.
Violet's expression barely flickered, but her eyes betrayed her, flicking to Xaden like she couldn't help herself. At least in some capacity, Violet was suffering. That was satisfying.
"Go away unless you have something useful to say," Violet muttered, a half-hearted jab at his ego.
"Move faster. You'll be less likely to die. How's that for useful?" he shot back smoothly, smirking.
Thana scoffed, slinging her bag to the floor as she stalked past him, driving her shoulder into his bicep on her way to the mat by the far window.
She turned her gaze to the stained-glass panes, the fractured view of the Ikabos River beyond. She wished she was out thereâanywhere but here, forced to watch Xaden flirt with Violet like her mother hadn't ordered his father's execution. Like he hadn't sworn he'd burn her bloodline to the ground, like he hadn't killed for less.
Before Basgiath, he was a blade honed for retribution, but now? Here Xaden stood, proving that some debts were negotiable. But, not for Thana.
Footsteps approached. Not Xaden. Not Garrick. Liam.
"Can I help?" he asked, gesturing toward the punching pads.
"Sure," she replied, feigning indifference.
She started throwing punches, and from the way Liam's brows lifted slightly, she could tell he hadn't expected her to hit so hard. They didn't talk much. He just murmured quiet encouragements.
Over his shoulder, she caught sight of Xaden and Garrickâboth now shirtless, sweat-slicked and fighting like their lives depended on it. Violet and even Rhiannon had abandoned all pretence of training, their eyes glued to the spectacle. Xaden knew exactly what he was doing.
Annoyance prickled up Thana's spine. Then anger. She channelled it into her punchesâsloppy, reckless strikes.
"Whoa," Liam muttered.
"What?" she panted. "I didn't hit you that hard."
"No, but you're going to break your wrist if you keep punching like that," he said, his voice gentle.
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She started unwrapping her hands.
"You don't have to stop," Liam said, hesitant.
"I'm done," she replied, gaze flicking toward Xaden and Violet.
Liam hesitated. "Okay," he said quietly. There was something sad in his voice, something that made guilt twist in her stomach. She knew this was his way of making time for her, and she'd just ruined it.
"Thank you," she managed. They stood in awkward silence for a moment.
Then, after a beat, Liam spoke again. "Hey... I could let you know when we're training. Maybe you and I could practice together sometime?"
She hesitated, about to say she trained with Garrick, but... now that Xaden had joined them, three had become a crowd.
"I'd like that," she admitted, offering him a small smile.
Liam reached for her hand, brushing his thumb across the back of her palm before carefully unwrapping the rest of her bindings. He moved slowly as if savouring the moment.
"Sorry," Violet's voice cut in. "We're heading out. I'll meet you in the mess hall?"
Liam tensed, his hand still in hers, but his gaze flickered between Violet and Xaden, hesitation clear in his eyes.
"No, I'm coming," he stammered.
Violet arched a brow. "Are you sure?"
Thana pulled back her hand, crossing her arms over her chest. She didn't miss the way Liam seemed to shrink slightly at the loss of contact.
"Hey," he murmured, forcing a small smile. "I'll let you know when we're training next."
And just like that, he was gone, grabbing his things and falling into step beside Violet.
"You threw, what, four punches? And you're calling it a day?" Garrick teased, his voice laced with amusement.
"Yes," she said sharply, slinging her bag over her shoulder and stalking out of the gym.
~
Xaden flirting with Violet consumed Thana's thoughts and the water from the shower cascaded down her body doing little to cool the heat rising in her chest. She was angryâno, jealous. It wasn't something she liked to admit, but she couldn't deny the feeling gnawing at her.
She turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. As Thana stepped out of the shower, her eyes landed on Imogen, standing by the sink, looking as if she were gathering the courage to say something.
"Hey," Thana greeted, her voice flat.
"Hey," Imogen replied, a little too brightly.
Thana moved to the sink on the other side of the room, brushing her teeth with exaggerated nonchalance. Imogen lingered nearby, clearly waiting for the right moment to speak.
"Do you need something?" Thana asked, though she already knew the answer.
Imogen hesitated, her lips parted as if she were struggling to find the right words. Thana bit back a smile. Imogen was rarely lost for words.
"It's just..." Imogen trailed off, her brow furrowing in thought. "Does Garrick have a girlfriend?"
The question caught Thana off guard. Imogen, who usually went after what she wanted, was suddenly uncertain.
"No," Thana said, the word slipping out easily. Imogen let out a soft sigh of relief. "I think there are a few girls who think they're his girlfriend, though," Thana added with a wry grin.
Imogen's expression shifted to confusion, her brow knitting tighter.
"I don't think there's anyone in particular he's focused on," Thana clarified.
Imogen's face softened with satisfaction. "So, he is single?"
Thana's thoughts momentarily flickered to VÃ lka, who was speaking down their bond.
"Gods, she's exhausting."
"Yes," Thana replied, both to Imogen and VÃ lka.
Imogen brightened. "Could you... maybe see if he likes me?"
Thana blinked, momentarily thrown. She wasn't exactly the best wingwoman, but Imogen wasn't Violet. And, if she was honest, she didn't mind helping outâso long as it wasn't Violet.
"Sure," Thana said, shrugging with feigned indifference.
"You're the best, Thana. Seriously, you are." Imogen beamed, throwing her arms around Thana in a tight hug, causing the towel to slip dangerously. Thana quickly grabbed it before it could fall.
"Sorry!" Imogen exclaimed, pulling back. "You're the best," she repeated with a grin. "You're gonna talk to Garrick. Get a vibe. His vibe. About me. You're gonna talk to him. 'Cause you're the best," Imogen said, her words rushing out as she darted from the bathroom.
As the door clicked shut behind her, Thana couldn't help but think that everyone around her seemed to be getting actionâexcept her.
~
Thana had been pacing outside Bodhi's door for what felt like an eternity. Her nerves were frayed, her heartbeat thudding in her ears, but after 5 minutes of indecision, she finally gathered the courage to knock.
The door swung open, and Bodhi's dishevelled face appeared in the doorway. His hair was mussed, his shirt half-unbuttoned.
"Thana? Hey," he greeted, his voice casual but with a hint of surprise.
"Hey," Thana managed, her voice tight as she tried to steady her racing heart.
She looked him overâbarefoot, still half-dressedâand then she heard the unmistakable sound of someone shifting in the room behind him. Bodhi opened the door fully, revealing Selene, the blonde he'd been pining for since she crossed the parapet, standing awkwardly in the room, her shirt misbuttoned.
Thana raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a teasing smile. "You met Selene," she commented, eyes glinting.
"What are you doing here?" Bodhi shot back, not missing a beat.
Thana stammered, taken off guard by his question. "WhaâUh, what?"
Bodhi didn't answer right away but instead glanced over at Selene, whose face had already started to flush with embarrassment. "Why are you here?" Bodhi repeated, his voice quieter now.
Thana's mind raced. She had no idea how to explain her presence. "Well..." she started slowly. "You bought me cake the other night, and..."
Before she could finish, Bodhi's eyes lit up, knowingly. "Did you bring me cake?" he asked, his smirk maddening.
Thana paused, heat rising in her cheeks. She could feel her face flush. "No," she muttered, the moment feeling increasingly awkward.
With a final, resigned sigh, Thana turned to leave. "You have company, I should go."
"Good night," Bodhi called after her, the teasing edge still present in his tone.
"Whatever," she grumbled, not bothering to turn around.v
Thana stomped down the stairs, humiliation threatening to suffocate her. As she reached her room, she opened the door and slammed it shut behind her, the sound of it echoing in the hallway.
"Smooth," Valka teased through their bond.
"Shut up," Thana muttered, collapsing onto her bed.
"I wish you did sooner," Valka added, his voice filled with dry amusement.
Thana groaned, burying her face in her pillow.