LUNCH WITH A ZOMBIE

Tonya, Priya, Zain, and Drake were eating lunch in the cafeteria of Mackenzie College.

They had a table next to the floor-to-ceiling window which overlooked the tree-rimmed lake.

“When do they turn off the fountain?” Priya asked, referring to a jet of water offshore in front of campus.

“When it freezes I guess.” For Tonya, the picturesque view was commonplace. During lectures, she preferred sitting close to the building’s southern walls which overlooked the broad lawn where athletic guys habitually threw Frisbees over the bronze head of sour-faced railroad baron, Sir William McKenzie.

“Tonya? Earth to Tonya?” Priya swept her hand in front of Tonya’s face.

“Sorry, what were we saying?”

“We think you should be in the movie,” said Drake. Tonya admired the way his shoulders filled out his checked shirt.

“We need a couple of girls for speaking parts,” said Zain. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a great white shark printed on it and a ball cap that said, “Fear Me.”

“Are you directing?” Tonya figured he belonged in front of the camera.

“That’s Drake’s job. I’m grip, best boy, bottle washer, prima donna, muse and auteur all rolled into one manly package.”

“You forgot egomaniac,” said Priya.

“Out of modesty.” Zain bowed.

Priya pointed out the window at Lakeshore Drive. “Don’t you love watching them scurry this way and that while we sit here enjoying our mango shakes?”

“That will be us in another half hour,” said Tonya.

“Not all of us,” Priya smiled. “Drake and I are skipping this afternoon, so we can figure out how to record my installation.”

“It’s a mistake,” said Zain. “What if people break our cameras as a Halloween prank?”

“When’s the last time you heard of someone pranking an art gallery? This is an installation, only for the interested,” said Priya.

“They could be interested in stealing cameras,” said Zain.

“They won’t even see them,” said Drake. “I’m going to mount them way up in the trees.”

“They could watch us put them up and steal them when we leave.” Zain pointed an accusing French fry at his friend. “What would you do then?”

Drake pointed a long fry at Zain’s heart and put on a cheesy French accent. “I would defeat them with ze Blade of Orléans. En garde, coward!”

Zain brandished his own deep-fried weapon and started to thrust and parry across the table. Drake stood up to gain some reach, so Zain leaped to his feet, and the two of them took the fight to the floor. All across the cafeteria, Tonya noticed people staring.

Let them. If Drake could let loose, she could too.

“Would you idiots sit back down,” said Priya. “You’ll embarrass Tonya.”

“Speak for yourself.” Tonya grabbed a fry and held it en garde. “I was known as ze Ketchup Killer of Loon Lake High.”

Priya raised an eyebrow at Tonya. She smiled until Zain put a hand on Tonya’s shoulder, his face suddenly serious. He pointed out the window.

“Isn’t that your Professor?” said Priya.

Through windows on the opposite side of the cafeteria, Tonya saw Professor Rudolph on the lawn. He was walking blindly up the path as students dodged out of his way. On the lawn, the statue of Sir William Mackenzie stood in his path. The Professor walked right into it, stumbled back and continued past, lumbering into a student and causing her to drop an armful of books.

“He looks sick or something. C’mon.” Tonya leapt to her feet and went outside to see what was ailing her beloved History professor. His eyes, when she caught up with him, were unfocused and dull, coated in a bluish film. He staggered blindly toward the west end of the grounds, headed toward the wooded path between campus and the cemetery.

It wasn’t difficult to keep up with him. He walked with the grace of Frankenstein’s monster. “Professor Rudolph,” she touched his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

No reaction.

“Can you hear me? It’s Tonya, from Philosophy of History.”

He kept lumbering forward, unhearing as well as blind.

Priya and Drake caught up.

“What’s wrong with him?” Priya stared.

“He won’t answer. Watch this.” Tonya waved her hands in front of his face. He didn’t react, so she stepped into his path and stood there. Professor Rudolph was huge and closing on her fast. She waited, blocking the way in the hope he would come to his senses. When he was about to plow into her, she leaped clear.

“We should follow him,” said Drake. “My brother used to sleepwalk so badly, my parents had to tie his leg to the bed, so he wouldn’t wander down the stairs.”

“If we wake him suddenly, could he have a heart attack?” asked Zain, who was drawing even with Rudolph.

Priya took the Professor’s shoulder and gave it a gentle shake. “Wake up Professor. Wake up!”

That didn’t work so they tried grabbing him. Gently at first. Then they tried poking. Tonya watched Drake pinch him, hard, but the Professor didn’t notice or slow down. He left the college behind taking the path into the trees.

Zain stopped, arms crossed. “I refuse to be a part of this. You’re going to hurt him, and then we’re going to get sued.”

“Don’t you need to have money to get sued?” Drake asked.

“Hey, I resent that. Someday I’ll be worth millions of bucks. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Priya rolled her eyes.

Tonya understood her frustration. While they were arguing, the Professor was getting away.

“Wait!” Drake yelled, but the Professor lumbered farther from campus.

“Adios suckers! I’ll be in Economics.” Zain waved over his shoulder and headed to class.

“Let Zain go,” said Tonya. “We have to stop the Professor, or he might walk into the road and get killed.” She hurried after him.

“How are you going to do that?” Priya jogged to catch up. “You’re a head shorter, and you’re a cream puff.”

“No problem.” Tonya caught up and rushed ahead of the Professor. Smiling confidently, she placed herself in his path, straight-armed her hands at chest height and planted her feet. She gave him a stern look and shouted “Stop!” but the blue film on his eyes told her magic was involved. Rudolph kept coming so Tonya resisted with all her force, for at least half a second, until he tipped her back and she crashed onto her ass. Before she could stand, the Professor stepped forward raising a foot so large that from this angle, it blocked out the sun. He was about to bring it down on her head!

Drake grabbed her hands and pulled her aside, just averting the Professor’s trampling feet.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

“Thanks.” She brushed wet leaves from her jeans.

After that, the three of them tried everything to wake Rudolph: grabbing, shouting, and even kicking at the backs of the Professor’s knees. That made him stumble, momentarily, but nothing could stop or wake him. Giving up on individual efforts, they grabbed onto his belt together and dug in their heels, but soon found themselves water-skiing along the path, sitting on their own heels as their feet slipped across muddy leaves. Three determined Ninjas were no match for the sheer forward momentum of Professor Rudolph.

“It’s like trying to stop a rhino,” said Drake “What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” said Tonya.

“He ruined my good shoes.” Priya frowned at her Victorian booties.

“We have to do something,” said Drake.

“Call the cops,” said Priya. “He’s a clear and present danger to leather goods.”

“Not funny,” said Tonya.

Nothing helped. Like god in his Greek philosophy lectures, the Professor moved as inexorably as the Unmoved Mover. What was next, perpetual motion?

Priya was panting. “Let’s get ahead of him and clear a safe path. It’s all we can do.”

“We need professional help,” said Tonya.

“Who? Campus police? The Provincial Police?” said Drake.

“The OPP would laugh at us,” said Priya.

“You have a point.” Tonya couldn’t imagine the OPP investigating a runaway sleepwalker. “So, we steer him clear of obstacles until he wakes up naturally.” Although she feared he could only be awakened supernaturally.

The professor had almost crossed the well-trodden path through the woods. Tonya said, “He’s headed for the cemetery.”

“That makes sense,” said Drake, “since he lost his wife. Maybe he fell asleep in class and he’s dreaming of visiting her grave.”

“Very poetic,” said Priya, “but shouldn’t we call an ambulance?”

“Yes. Do it.” Tonya wasn’t allowed to mention magic to Mundanes, but the man needed to be stopped before he hurt himself. Professor Rudolph wasn’t from one of the Old Families which meant using magic on him was prohibited. It looked like a rogue magic user was breaking the highest law of Loon Lake.

“Tell them we’re headed for the cemetery, and Priya, don’t forget to describe his eyes.”

Priya dropped back to make the call while Tonya stayed ahead with Drake.

“This is hopeless,” Drake said. “What if he walks into a car crossing the road?”

Approaching the cemetery, the gravel path changed to asphalt. This was the route runners took on their long circuit from the Athletic Center to the east, west along the south shore of the lake out of campus and then through the Eastern Gate into the Loon Lake Cemetery. All summer, Tonya had watched from the Herbal Healing Shop as they emerged from the Western Gate of the cemetery and turned south to run through Loon Lake Village in their team jerseys. Their typical route ran from Mackenzie College, in through the East Gate, along the path that ran past the chapel, out the West Gate and then around the outside of the cemetery and back up to campus again. How odd to be following the same paths chasing a runaway professor.

Somebody wanted to hurt Rudolph, but even the Mods wouldn’t curse a university professor, would they? It was such a blatant, public flouting of the rule of secrecy that kept Trads and Mods from settling their disputes in the street. Could it be related to her aunt’s mysterious illness?

He stepped blindly into the road.

They tackled him, trying to alter his course.

The force of their combined weight should have turned him, but they slid off as if he was coated in Teflon. He staggered across the road, oblivious to horns blaring.

A car was headed on a collision course with Rudolph.

Tonya was too far away to intervene.

The car squealed the brakes and Tonya watched helplessly as Professor Rudolph continued blundering forward, into the path of the approaching car.

Priya sprinted up from behind and shoved him across, clearing the road just in time.

Drake cheered and followed after them, but this tiny victory worried Tonya. It demonstrated that Rudolph could be hurried along, but he couldn’t be slowed or deflected from his objective.

And then, up ahead, Tonya saw salvation. The tall, wrought iron fence around the cemetery was right in the Professor’s path. A conscious man could turn and walk to the front gate, but Rudolph was in a mindless state. He would wash up against the gate like a fish in a net.

“I see the end of the road,” said Drake, echoing her thoughts.

The Professor shambled up against the gate where she expected him to stop. Instead, he placed one foot onto a crosspiece and boosted himself up.

Drake whistled. “Who knew he was so spry?”

“How’s he doing that in his sleep?” asked Priya.

“His eyes are open,” said Drake. “My brother used to open the refrigerator door when he was sleepwalking.”

The next bit was harder. The Professor had to get a leg over the top of the fence. Drake rushed over and tried to pull him back.

“Stop! What if you knock him down and he hurts himself?” said Priya.

“What if he falls on top of you?” Tonya stood helpless, her own body swaying in sympathy as the Professor teetered with one foot set halfway up the fence, the other in the air, straining his weak muscles to lift it over.

When he finally succeeded Drake said, “I thought he was going to rip something.”

Tonya clambered over the fence. “Stay here,” she told the others.

She followed his halting steps as he took the circular drive that led around the wooded hill and then continued, walking across country, between the weathered monuments in the oldest section of the cemetery. From here, she could already see her aunt’s shop through the trees, on the other side of Kenny Road. There was no doubt about it, as much as Tonya wished she was wrong. The Professor was headed straight for the Three-Century Ash. This confirmed her fears that the Professor’s problem was magic-related, but would the Ash protect a Mundane as it protected Tonya and other members of the Old Families?

The Professor stopped dead in front of the tree.

She heard feet crunching through the leaves behind her. No, no, no. Tonya was going to have to explain the tree’s powers to her friends.

How else could she make them steer clear of the danger? Her dream of popularity and a normal life was over. So much for keeping magic hidden from the Mundanes, the one issue Mods and the ruling Trads all agreed on.

Loon Lake Village, and the ancient section of the cemetery where the Old Families were buried, exuded supernatural energy. These powers were not supposed to leak onto campus, territory of the Mundanes. Tonya wrestled with what to do. If she told her friends about magic, the Pures like her mother (who never practiced magic) and the Trads (who hid magic from the Mundanes) would punish them severely.

“He stopped walking,” Tonya said. “We should go back to campus.”

“Not till the ambulance arrives,” said Priya.

Before Tonya could answer, the professor sat down on the dirty roots, and then lay out flat with his head pointing toward the Ash. He moaned and started to agitate his arms.

“What’s he doing?” asked Priya.

“Making snow angels with the leaves?” said Drake.

“Freaking me out.” Tonya’s phone shook in her hands. “I’m calling the hospital.”

“I already called 911,” said Priya.

“Calling the hospital direct is better. This isn’t Toronto,” said Tonya. She turned her back to finish the call. Afterward, she explained. “The firefighters are volunteers and the OPP are outsiders. I want to make sure they send first responders from Loon Lake Hospital,” who had seen weirdness like this before. She had made sure to mention the Ash Tree and the frosted look in the Professor’s eyes to tip them off that magic was involved. Something was going on, something a lot bigger than one sleepwalking professor.

When Priya and Drake went to bend over the body, Tonya said, “Stay back. He might be dangerous.”

“A dangerous sleepwalker?” Priya raised groomed eyebrows.

“We were all over him a minute ago,” said Drake.

“Just back off!”

Priya looked hurt but Tonya couldn’t stop to explain her darkest fears. She was desperately calling her parents, the Herbal Healing Shop, and her Aunt Helen’s number, leaving messages everywhere when nobody picked up. Even her Dad’s cell, which should have been switched on for emergencies, went straight to voicemail. In desperation, she sent him a text, even though he hated texting.

The ambulance arrived, rolling along the paved road which crisscrossed the cemetery. When the paramedics came out—a man and a woman—they looked so young, they could have been students too. He stood a head taller than his partner, but both had light brown hair, similar features, and dark green eyes. Were they twins?

Tonya and her friends answered their questions, then stood and watched as they slid Professor Rudolph’s portly body onto a stretcher. With a grunt and muttered curses, they lifted the heavy man and the gurney and rolled it to the back of the ambulance.

“Can I come along?” Tonya asked. She felt responsible, especially since she hadn’t been able to stop his blind walk to the Three-Century Ash.

“We’ll take it from here,” said the young woman. “Unless you’re a relative?”

“I’m not, but I’m from Loon Lake, and I think this is a local problem,” Tonya said. “He walked from the middle of campus to the Three-Century Ash with his eyes open but not seeing.” It was the most she could say in front of Priya and Drake.

Tonya watched their faces for reaction. A local from an old Loon Lake family would hear those clues and suspect magic right away. Unfortunately, these two didn’t react.

“Make sure they know about the Ash Tree when he gets checked in,” Tonya added.

“Don’t worry,” said the male paramedic. “He’ll get the best possible care.”

“He’s my Professor. Let me come with you.”

He shook his head. “You can visit him in hospital once the doctors okay it.”

As the ambulance rolled away, Tonya wondered what to do next. Could the professor’s illness be related to Aunt Helen’s and to her parents’ sudden move? Something was wrong. Her parents would never leave without giving her a forwarding address or telling her which hospital Helen was in. They were hiding something from her. Too many strange events at once had to be related, but how?

She looked at Priya and Drake, innocently watching the ambulance drive away. How long could she protect them from magic if a Mundane like Professor Rudolph wasn’t safe? Had he learned something he shouldn’t? The Old Families could be cruel to those who discovered Loon Lake’s secrets. When she was only sixteen, her mother made her attend a meeting where City Council wiped some poor Mundane’s memory. He had stumbled across some Mods using magic, and so, to protect their secrets, the Council made him forget several months of his life.

“Now do you see why using magic is wrong?” Her mother had smiled at her, eyes glinting.

After the ambulance left, Drake and Priya turned to go. Tonya followed without saying a word.

The three of them were nearing the Eastern Gate when Tonya stopped. “I’m going back to the shop.”

“What about class?” Priya asked.

“And Rudolph?” said Drake.

“I’m worried about my aunt. She isn’t answering her phone. I want to make sure she’s alright.”