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It was a month since I'd started my diet. I was feeling tired all. the. dang. time.
But I was encouraged to continue when I'd checked the bathroom scale this morning and saw that my weight had dropped to 168 pounds, about 76 kg. It was too late to quit now and I was happy that I was seeing results. My stomach felt smaller, a little flatter, and my face had definitely slimmed a little bit. I was excited for however many more changes my body would go through.
I was happy with my results.
"Come on Phoebe! Run, you're almost there!" My physical-education teacher said as I slowly jogged past him. I was tired and in desperate need of water. "Last lap!"
"Mr. Hurley, I don't feel good." I said, feeling my legs grow heavy beneath me. I huffed loudly as he encouraged me to keep running. The sun glimmered on my skin, burning me as the heat made my vision grow blurry. I couldn't see where I was running anymore as the grass, dirt path, gate surrounding the field, and the sky all turned into one bland color.
The next thing I knew, I'd hit something and landed on the grass. I was seeing nothing more than a blur of blobs as they covered the sun. I looked around, unable to comprehend what had just happened.
â
I woke up in the nurses office with an ice-pack on my head.
"Phoebe Masters." She said, handing me a cup of water, "I'm so glad you're awake."
"What happened?"
"You passed out during PE. Mr. Hurley and a few other people carried you here." The nurse said and my stomach sank at the word carry. People were able to lift up my massive body and move me to the nurses office. I was humiliated and confused.
"Who?" I asked, sitting up as the sharp pain struck the back of my head. It was a tension headache, I knew this because I was getting them more often lately.
"Some of your classmates."
"Who?" I asked again, I wasn't sure if she could read the panic on my face. I hoped she could.
"Let's see..." she put her finger on her chin thoughtfully, "I can't recall" She said. I bit my lip. Random people and Mr. Hurley had to carry my giant unconscious body to the nurses office. I felt humiliated, violated even. I didn't want people to know how soft my stomach was. Or how squishy my arms were when they lifted me up.
I began to panic, my heart racing at the thought. I wondered how many people had seen them carrying me and if they'd commented on how heavy I was. There were three of them for crying out loud. I started crying, the thoughts swiveling in my mind. It was too much.
"If you want to go home, I can call your parents." The nurse said, but I shook my head through the tears. I knew they wouldn't pick me up, they were probably at work right now anyway. The nurse didn't know what to do so she simply let me sit there in tears as I lifted my head up to frown.
"S-sorry. I should get to class." I responded, climbing out of the seat she'd set me in and walking out the door. Only, I didn't want to be here anymore and I didn't really want to hide in the bathroom for the rest of the day.
The nearest store, restaurant and whatever else was at least four miles away and I didn't think I could make it anywhere in this heat without fainting again.
"Please go to the auditorium at this time!" The speakers went off, loud and clear as several classroom doors opened and students walked out.
I looked down at my legs that were still in the PE shorts. They looked giant, like elephant's legs, as I took each powerful step forward. I flinched, annoyed at how big my body still was regardless of how much work I'd put in to try to prevent that.
I followed the crowd, each person was too distracted talking to each other while I entered alone. I felt isolated as we all walked past the cafeteria's round tables and entered under the archway that led to the auditorium, which was actually the gym for PE. Afterwards, I could change back to my skirt that I'd only worn because it was a Monday. I'd worn the khakis for the other four days of the school-week and nobody had ever noticed it so I continued to wear them more than once a week.
Everyone sat in the burgundy bleachers that were stacked with testosterone and estrogen from the students at Parley High School. I groaned as I climbed to the back, hoping that nobody was staring at my butt, and sat alone.
I watched as more students filed in from grades 9 through 12. My eyes spotted the only Asian man at our school as he entered with Jamison and the goons. He was laughing at something they'd said, his hair, like silk, falling into his eyes as the broad smile seemed to illuminate the entire room. I felt myself smiling just looking at him so I quickly looked away.
I didn't want people to think that I was a creep for watching a handsome boy with his friends. I couldn't resist though. I looked back up and saw his eyes right on me with an astonished look on his face. He had strong cheekbones, lifted high by God, and a firm jawline.
He patted Jamison on his shoulder and, before I knew it, he was walking over to me. To me!? I was in utter shock that he had chosen me over them.
He climbed up to the highest level of the bleachers and slid past several knees to stand in front of me and say, "are you okay? I heard you ended up in the nurses office."
"Kyle," I smiled, he preferred to be called that at school, but when we were alone on the bus, he enjoyed being called Ji-ho. I didn't understand it, but then again, maybe we're all just trying to fit in. "Why aren't you sitting with your friends?"
"You are my friend too," he laughed, gesturing for the person beside me to scoot over so he could sit. My eyes widened and my heart sped up for no reason. He had made it a habit to sit beside me recently and I was slowly becoming more comfortable with the concept. "Anyway, why were you in the nurses officeâ and why are you still in your PE clothes?"
He cared more than I thought he did. I bit my lip and looked down at my giant knees. I wished that they could shrink and show more bones like the skinny people. I wished that there wasn't a giant layer of fat coming from my thighs and making my upper legs look like giant pale cones.
"Oh, I fainted in my third lap. I just left the nurses office actually. I'm okay now." I responded, smiling at Ji-ho as he pursed his lips, but didn't say anything. "The nurse thinks it's because the sun was too hot and I was dehydrated." I lied.
"Then drink more water, can't have you fainting on the bus-ride home." He said, I couldn't help my mentality and the mental image of him having to carry my fainted body home. I cringed, I'd probably break his arms by accident.
"I have been." I muttered through the commotion as Ji-ho talked about something else but I didn't pay much attention. I could hardly hear him through the loud conversations of my classmates and other people at this school.
The volume slowly simmered down as the principle approached the microphone, he, admittedly looked very angry.
"Hello everyone." He said, "today we had an unscheduled meeting with the school for two reasons. One." He said, then paused, "please be quiet."
Nobody listened to himâ they were just excited to see their friends in the middle of the day right before lunch.
"One," he said, louder, "someone has stolen my sneakers. I had left them in front of my office this morning when a monk was visiting and now they're gone. If you see them, they look like this," he showed an image on a projector of gold and silver shoes that looked like soccer cleats. "Please report this to me immediately and from where you found them so the culprit can be punished. These shoes were given to me by my late mother and I would appreciate them back."
"Why did he have to call a school meeting instead of saying this over the intercom?" Ji-ho asked and I shrugged.
"My second announcement before the aloha team flaunts their dance and such, is that I would appreciate if there was less bullying going around on my campus. We are here to learn, not to torment one another." His blue eyes scanned the audience until they landed on me. I wondered why, but instead, I looked away. My stomach growled, but at this point, I'd become dulled to the sound. It didn't bother me or faze me. Often times, I would just ignore it.
"I have an extra apple in my backpack." Ji-ho said, "I can get it for you before we go back to class."
I wondered how loud my stomach had to have growled for him to tell me that. I shook my head, "I'm okay."
He raised a brow, but said nothing as the principle kept talking and I began feeling light-headed again. I forced myself to say awake, grabbing onto Ji-ho's arm as he gave me a confused look, but didn't move. I felt like I was going to throw up.