Chapter 14

(Chapter song ‘I Don’t Care’ by Apocalyptica)

JESSE I push open the barn door and step in. The horses hoof the floor and whinny as I walk in. They’re all settling in for the night. They don’t seem to mind their new house guest.

I still don’t know how to feel about it.

I don’t know what I’m doing. This is so wrong. I just…I can’t stay away. Remember that poison? Yep. That’s the stuff. My hide’s burning with it now.

I take off my hat and hang it on a nail on a barn pole. I slowly walk to her mare and make sure she’s watering properly and eating. She’s fine. In fact, she’s quite comfortable sharing the stall with my bronc. I scrub his nose as he bumps me with his snout. “You take care of her. Git me?” He grunts and shakes his head. I grab his bridle. “No complaints.” I look into his eye then push his head away.

I climb the ladder to the loft. “Is it alright?” I call before I step up.

“Yes.” She calls out.

I bite my lip and climb to the top. As I walk, I think about what I’m even doing. Is this what I want. I’m not supposed to care. I can’t care. I’ve been empty for so long, I forgotten what this is I’m feeling. I don’t even think I felt a real feeling ever. Artemis took it all away before I even had a chance.

When I heard she suffered the same beatings I did, it killed me. It didn’t seem right. Of all the people. I deserved every ounce of my ass kicking. This sweet thing doesn’t. She done nothing wrong except meeting me.

Now she's caught up, I can’t turn her loose. She won’t stand a chance. I don’t think I could shake her even if I did.

My boots hit the wood floor. “I’m sorry ya gotta sleep out here. With a house full of men, I figure it’s safer in the barn…”

She comes into view around a pile of hay. I gave her sheets and blankets and other things to settle her in.

“It’s fine. Thank you. The horses make it peaceful.” Her smile lights up her face. I give one back, but I’m not sure if it’s real.

I breathe in deep as I take her in. She’s in her sleep gown and sitting on a bale by the open loft window. Her legs are pulled up and she's hugging her knees. I slowly walk to her and sit beside her. “I need to apologize for gettin’ ya mixed with us.”

“Jesse. There’s no…”

I hold up a hand. “I know what yer gonna say. You wanna be here. I git that. Sweet Pea. You don’t know what yer askin’, darlin’.” I lean on my knees and roll my eyes to her.

“That’s it, isn’t it? I do, Jesse. I know. I know what you are and more importantly, I know what you can become. I want to help you.” She tilts her head to me. Her voice is so gentle and soft. She shouldn’t even be saying my name, let alone looking at me.

“There’s no helpin’ me, Sweet Pea. There just isn’t. I’m who I am. My life began hard, it’s gonna end hard.”

She puts her long leg on the floor and scoots close. “It doesn’t have to be. You only need to let me in. Let me guide you. Help you to realize that all is not lost. You don’t need this life. It’s not over, Jesse. You need to let go and open your heart.”

She places her delicate fingers on my cheek. She leans close.

“I can’t. I’m too messed up.” I whisper as I look into her eyes. “I can’t care about you the way you want. My heart. It’s broken in so many ways.”

“Yes, you can. Nothing in this world is unfixable. Even you.” She says quietly as she strokes my scruff with her thumb.

My eyes close at her warm touch. I’m not used to this feeling. “I’m poison, Penelope. You don’t want me.”

She licks her lip. “Yes, I do.”

I lock her gaze and see something I never thought I’d see in someone. I saw faith. Real faith. She wants to trust me. She shouldn’t because I don’t even trust myself, but she has pure faith that she thinks can fix the damage in me.

I reach out and slide my hand behind her hair. This is it. This is where everything goes to hell. This is where I lose everything.

My lips meet hers and my tongue slides into her mouth with a peaceful feeling growing inside me. I caress her tongue and feel her love. Feel her faith. Feel the precious gift she is. For the first time in my 600 years, I’m wanted. I’m needed. For the first time in 600 years, I feel like my birth to this world was for a purpose.

I pull her into my lap and stand up. Picking her up under her ass. I walk, deepening the kiss. She holds my head as I lower her to the makeshift hay bed.

I take off my jacket and shirt as I kiss her. I bite her neck and chin as I strip off my trousers and johns, kicking off my boots in the process.

I break the kiss and rest my forehead on hers. Both of us have shaky breath. We both know this crosses lines. I tried to pretend I could just leave it. Turns out, she won’t let me.

We both watch my fingers play on her soft chest. I trace the lacy trim of her sleep gown and forcefully pull it down exposing her breast. She moans quietly as I cup one and suck on it.

I nip and lick at her skin and pull her gown all the down. Her naked body felt so damn good against mine. She’s so heartbreakingly beautiful. I fight the fall, but I’m losing fast.

I bruise her lips as I slide my hand between her legs. She moans on my lips as I push a finger into her wet pussy. Her thighs spread for me and my dick hardens like a rock.

I rub her pussy harder and devour her mouth. She smells so fucking good and feels even better. The power in her touch sends shocks up my spine.

Her moans get louder as her pussy tightens around my finger. I pull out and fist myself.

I bite her lip as I find her entrance and shove my cock into the base. She grips my hair and lifts her knees to my chest. I let out a groan as I get deep inside. Fuck, she feels even more amazing than the first time.

I taste every inch of her neck as I trust her hard and deep. Her pussys tight and wet. My chest thumps with every pound. My skin feels like it’s on fire as she runs her hands up my back.

I run my hand down her side to her soft outer thigh. I pump my cock even harder as she starts to scream.

“Yesss, Jesse!” She holds my neck and back I hold her head to my shoulder and growl. “You feel so damn good. Fuck, Sweet Pea…”

She bites my shoulder and screams louder.

“Yeah…That’s it, baby. You like that?” I grind as I speed up.

“Yesss! Like that…”

“Come, baby…Let me hear ya come.” I breathe in her ear.

I slam her pussy harder. I pull her hips up and rock my hips deeper. Shocks run through me with every stroke. I can’t get deep enough. I can’t fuck her hard enough or fast enough. I want more. I’m starting to crave it. I feel like it’s never going to be enough.

Her pussy tightens around my dick so much I feel my balls twitch. I’m close.

I sit up. “Come for me, Sweet Pea. Show me how much ya want me.” I grit as I pound her as hard as I can.

“YESSSS!” I feel her pussy squeeze my dick and her come gushes out.

A few more strokes and my balls pull up. My release pours into her amazing pussy. Splashing all over her walls. I roll my head back and growl loud. My eyes glow as my shifter side enjoys her power as much as I do. My power wants to combine with hers. It’s fucking intense how it feels like it’s being called by her. I’ve never felt anything like it in my life. I look down at her beautiful face.

Her auburn hair is pooled around her head. The sweat on her body makes her glow. She smiles an angelic smile as her chest heaves. Her dream filled eyes meet mine as I lower myself to her and gently kiss her lips. I pull away and rest my head on her shoulder.

She gently strokes the back of my sweat covered hair. “I see you.” She whispers. “I will always see you. I know who you are. I feel you inside. You just need to trust.”

“I don’t know how.” I say as my fingers gently trace around her shoulder.

“I can show you. Let me be your angel to guide and guard you. Jesse. Let me love you.” She says.

I don’t know if I can do that. I’ve spent so long guarded, to just give it away like that, it feels wrong. Especially to her.

“I don’t deserve an angel.” I feel a lump develop in my throat at those words. Thoughts of my mother dying because of me, I deserve a first class seat to hell.

“You deserve a lot more than you think.” She lifts my head and pulls my chin to face her. “You are worthy of so much. You just need to feel it.”

I pull out and pull the blankets up, resting my head on her chest as I try to deal with her words. Is it possible? Does a demon deserve an angel? Can an angel fix a demon?

I feel sleep come quick as my mind fills with a peace I don’t recognize. Her heart beat is so calming. It’s like I died and my life doesn’t exist. None of it matters anymore.

She wants to save me. Is this what that dream meant? This woman is meant to break me of this hell I’m in? Is she strong enough to do that? I can’t love her. I know I’m completely incapable of that. I don’t know the first thing about it.

There is something in her that I find appealing. She creates something in me and for the first time ever, I feel it…

I feel…content.