Chapter 19

(Chapter song ‘Send Me An Angel’ by Scorpions)

JESSE Our second ace in the hole is a cabin in the woods toward the north end of Idaho. We usually have two or three depending on how many good jobs are in the area. With train still on its way, we’re not leaving. We need this now. We’re losing cash fast and it’s not like it’ll get any better.

Penelope needs food, shelter and clothing and I’m not about to let her suffer. Me on the other hand, I’m struggling a lot.

I heard what she said. Every word. It hit me too. Right where I was hoping it wouldn’t.

She loves me. That’s fine by me. I won’t say it back. Ever. It’s not who I am. I don’t do that. I’ll care for her and keep her, but I won’t love her. Not in that way at least.

“Jesse.”

I turn and she’s coming with a couple buckets.

“Hey, darlin’. Ya fetchin' us some water?” I tip my hat and kiss her cheek when she’s close.

“Yeah. Is the fire ready?” She pants.

I smile. “Yep. Dakota, Harley and Mutt are hunting supper and Bill is helpin’ Justice with horses. So, I guess I’m all yours if ya want me.”

“That would be lovely. Thank you.” She smiles.

I take her buckets and we walk into the woods. “You…You ok…with all this, I mean. It’s not the best life…” I say as I move brush out of her way and allow her through.

“Yes. Honestly. It’s beautiful out here. You and the boys are fine company and I don’t need much. You’ve given so much already.”

“Just wanna take care of ya. That’s all.” I mumble as I step behind her to the pebble bank of the slow moving river.

The other bank is lined with dark green pines and trees. Random boulders breach the surface and a bird flies from one of the trees as we set our buckets down.

“You’re doing a fine job.” She straightens my jacket lapels.

I hold her waist. “I can’t work now.”

Her lips fall a little. “I realize this.”

“You know I can’t support ya if I have no coin.” I grumble.

“I know.” She looks up at me. “There’s more to life than money. Love holds no comparison in value. If we are together, we have all we need.”

I scratch my temple and pull away. I clear my throat. “Ya. Um…Either way. I need to get money.” I grab a bucket and take it to the waters edge.

I take off my boots and socks. Rolling up my trousers, I step into to the water. I dip the wooden buckets in, fill them and walk them to Penelope standing bare foot in the pebbles.

“Here ya go." I quickly smile and set them down in front of her.

She steps over them and wraps her arms around my neck. “What would I do without you?”

I grin. “I dunno. Be off happy as a lark with some rich city dude.”

She chuckles. “Jesse. I want you. All of you. Why can’t I just be happy with that?”

I nod. “I guess I can’t really argue with that, can I?”

“No. You can’t.” She gently kisses me.

I break the kiss and take off my shirt. “Come on.” I motion to the water with a smirk.

She laughs as I undo my trousers and pull them off. “The drinking water.”

I grab her dress and pull it up over her head. “It can wait.” I lean in and kiss her.

She breaks the kiss, bites her lip and takes off her undergarments.

I pick her up and carry her to the water. Her legs wrap around me and she kisses me as the cold water hits my balls. I shiver on her lips, making her giggle. “God, that’s cold.” I chuckle.

“It’ll warm up.” She whispers.

“Damn right.” I bruise her lips as I walk us out. The rivers current washes around us as she runs her fingers through my hair.

I suck her neck and jaw. My fingers find her core. Her legs pull up around me as I run my thumb around her clit. She moans on my tongue.

I feel the heat increase and that calming fire touch she has. Like a thunderstorm on my skin. Her breathing increases as does her arousal. I find her entrance and she’s already dripping in her juices. She so warm and aroused, it makes my dick solid in seconds.

I grab my stone hard dick and find her entrance. I push it into her and she gasps with a moan on my shoulder.

I plant my feet and pull her up. I push her down with a grunt. “I never tire of feelin’ you.” I devour her mouth and shove her onto my dick harder.

Under the water, my hands grip her waist and I give her every stroke like I own her. She’s mine to fuck and I’m making her know that.

“Jesse, Yes!” She throws her head back and her hair drifts onto the water. I run my lips all over her exposed chest. Nipping her soft breasts.

Her nails dig in as her sounds get louder and her pussy tightens around me. If this is what sex with an angel is like, call me a reformed man. Damn.

She bucks her hips into me and I thrust faster. She pulls on my hair and she screams even louder.

“YES! RIGHT THERE!” I cup a breast and twist her nipple. My dick throbs inside her and I move my hands to her hips. She hangs onto my neck and I pull her onto my dick fast like she wants.

I pull her to me and hit her pussy deep. I feel her tighten even more and which makes my dick swell.

“Fuck…Sweet Pea…You feel so fucking good.” I growl and kiss her hard.

My hands hold the meat of her ass as I pump her pussy so hard the water splashes all around us. I slide a hand up her back to her neck and hold in a tight grip.

Her pussy grips my cock and I feel her come all over me.

“YESSSS!” Her screams echo through the trees as I grit my thrusts.

“Yes, baby…Fuck…So damn tight!!” Her warm juices feel amazing against the cold rush of the current.

I give it to her even harder and feel my back tense. Her pussy strangles my dick and my balls pull up. I slam her into me, wrap my arms around her and empty my dick into her hot pussy. I growl in her ear as I bite it. She screams so loud. Her pussy walls pulse on my shaft as I pump out every drop.

I hear her screams die down and I slow to a stop.

I push her back and move her hair. “Ya warm now?” I grin as I wipe the water off my face.

“Yes.” She giggles on my lips.

She pulls back and stares at me.

“What?” I smirk.

“Who are you?” She asks.

“Me? Just a man.” I shrug.

She shakes her head. “No, really. Who are you?”

I wipe away the drips of water coming off my hair. I guess I could tell her who I am. She’s seen me. Heard us talk. She’s not gonna hurt anything by knowing. “Let’s go.” I motion to the shore.

We walk and find our undergarments. I head to a large rock on the beach and sit down. She sits beside me.

I pull a leg up and lean my arm on it. “I’m what’s known as a shape shifter. Technically, I’m a hybrid.”

“Hybrid?” She looks at me curiously.

I nod. “I’m a mix of two creatures. A Shapeshifter and a nymph.”

“A nymph.” She arches a brow.

“You might know ‘em as wisps, fairies or gnomes, but those are all in stories. No. A Nymph is a beautiful creature. Each is in control of one element of the earth. They choose it based on their design.” I throw a pebble and pick up a small stick.

“What does that mean?” She asks.

I look out to the water. “This river. It’s pretty, clean and untouched. That’s thanks to the nymph that runs the place.”

“There’s one here?” She looks around and covers herself.

“Relax. All nymph are girls.”

“All of them.”

“Yes, ma'am.” I nod. “I have 6 sisters. Out there on the wind. Sailing with the sun and running through the trees, riding the ocean waves…”

“You’re not one of them?”

I shake my head. “I’m a man. Men don’t get nymph powers. No. I got to stay with my daddy while my sisters flew off to live their lives after they…” I stop myself and look down.

“After they what.” She tries to see my face.

I raise my head. “It’s not important.”

“No. Jesse, I want to know. I want to know you no matter how awful.” She insists.

I study her a moment. She told me about her beatings, might as well tell her mine. “My mother. I saw her for a brief minute. My god, she was beautiful. Built by the universe. She shimmered like starlight. Her voice was so gentle. I felt so at peace when she held me. Then everything went to shit so fast.” I lick my lips and press them as I try to suppress the pain in my heart. I wipe my nose and sit up. “My mother was a Celestial Nymph. She ruled the stars. All of them. You could say she was the Queen. There’s a rule. A very important one. For the Celestial nymph to survive the birth of her children, she has to be under the protection of her temple.” I turn to Penelope and she looks confused. “It’s like a church.”

“Oh.” She nods.

“The protection of Athena would grant her the power to survive the birth and keep her powers with her. Her daughters were supposed to be born shifters like me, but we got…delayed.” I pick at the ground.

“By what?” Penelope tilts her head.

I roll my eyes to her. I feel them heat as I point to my chest. “Me.”

Her brows furrow.

“I came early. Slowed us down. We couldn’t get to the temple in time.” I swallow and turn away. “She birthed my sisters in the road.” I feel tears line my eyes. “I watched my mama get ripped apart into six pieces. My sisters took her power into their bodies. Becoming the nymphs they are today. Then she was gone…just…gone. My sisters flew away, leaving me there with Artemis. They just took off to find their elements and never looked back. Not once.” I fought my shaky breath.

“Jesse.” She whispers.

I glance at her as the corner of my lip ticks. “I don’t blame them. They just did what’s natural. I don’t even blame Art really. My mother was taken from him. Stolen by time. Murdered…by me.” I lower my head to control my pain.

“It’s not your fault. You were a baby. How could you possibly believe that?” She places her arm around my shoulder.

“I just do. It kept me alive through every stabbing of the silver blades. Every broken bone and re-broken bone. Every mercury burn.” I wince as I remember all the pain.

“I deserve it. I deserve it. It’s what I said to myself as the whips broke my skin. For every iron nail driven into my palms and shins to the floor. For every ounce of my blood Art spilled. I deserve it.”

I grit my teeth as I relive the hell of my life. “I don’t want to die because my punishment isn’t over. It’ll never be over. I live like this. I feel this empty because I deserve to be empty. The love I was suppose to get broke apart because I fucking broke it.”

I look to her and see tears in her eyes.

I tilt my head to her. “Awe don’t cry, Sweet Pea. Honestly. I’m not telling ya this to upset you. I’m telling the truth because…I’m hoping you see that whatever you think of me, this is why I am this way. I’m a sorry sack of meat and I’m alone. Even with people, Penelope. I will always be alone. As much as you and that angel want, there’s no redemption for me. I don’t want it.”

“You don’t want to be forgiven?” She searches my eyes as her breath hitches.

I shake my head. “No…I don’t.”

“But…why? God will forgive you, Jesse. He has to.”

“Sweet Pea, if I let myself be forgiven, then my life ends. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.” I run her hair through my fingers.

“You could love me. Wouldn’t that be worth forgiveness?” She gives a half smile.

I give one back. “I could, but you couldn’t fill the gaping canyon in this dogs chest.” I shrug. “I’m not saying I don’t like ya, I do. I just…don’t have that kind of room for you. There’s too much black in here. Too much pain. I suffer too much to let you in here. Pea. I’d just destroy you, baby. I would"

She gets on her knees and holds my cheeks. “I don’t believe that. I love you. I wouldn’t love a man who wasn’t good and kind and full of worth. You are that man. I know it. I believe in you even if you don’t.”

I cup her cheek. “You’re sweet, little girl, but we both know love comes and goes like drifters looking for drink. When it dries up, he moves on. For now, I’m thirsty and I will be for as long as you’ll have me, when that dries up, I’m gone.”

Her face falls. “You really mean that.”

I drop my hand. “I do.”

She stares at me then shakes her head. “No. You won’t. I have faith. If I have to hold it for both of us, I will. You’re a good man, Jesse. You’ll see. A good, honest man and I love you. So much.”

I stare at her, cup her cheek again and stroke it with my thumb. I pause and search her eyes. She’s being truthful. Too bad I can’t. “Let’s get this water back.” I turn away and stand.

I kind of feel better telling her, but she can’t know how I feel because even I don’t trust it.

I help her get dressed and pick up the buckets. “When we get back, the boys should have supper ready to cook. I have to speak with them so, cook up what they caught.” I’m turning tails on this subject quick before it goes further.

“Of course.” She mumbles. “I’ll call…when it’s done.”

“Good.” I say as I walk ahead.

I feel the cracks. I feel the movement of my heart. I feel guilty lying to her, but it’s for her own good. I know I can be with her for as long as she wants. I will protect this little girl with my life, but I don’t think I’ll ever tell her that.

****

She’s so angelic. A vision in my dream. Her body moves with pure sensuality on me. I feel what she feels. I feel what she wants. I feel connected.

I look up at her naked body as she rides my dick. I feel every inch of her skin as she moans in my dream.

Her beautiful, glowing eyes catch mine. “I love you.” Her voice sounds like it’s in the clouds.

I hold her hips as my dick thrusts into her. “I love you too.” I breathe.

The dream changes and it’s dark. Thunder cracks and lightning strikes. Penelope screams.

I look down and I’m hanging off a cliff. It’s black and strange. The wind slams me against the rock wall and whips my riding coat. My panic laden voice cracks as I hang from one hand. “What?!!”

I look up and Penelope is crying and screaming. “NO! JESSE!!”

“Penelope…” My brows stitch up as I look to my hand hanging onto the rock. I see myself let go.

I jolt awake. “Penelope!...” I’m on my stomach in bed. I lift my head quick. My hearts racing to the point it hurts.

I roll over and slam the heels of my hands into my eyes. “What the hell?” I huff.

I roll my head around and Penelope is gone. “Sweet Pea?”

I get up, throw my trousers on and step over everyone sleeping on the floor of the ramshackle cabin.

I step outside and there she is in her sleep gown. She’s looking up and I follow her line of sight. She’s gazing at the moon. It’s full tonight.

“Sweet Pea? What are ya doin’ up?” I say as I walk over to her.

“You can’t…”

I stop and tilt my head. “Can’t what?”

“You can’t love her.” The voice was hers, but I know it’s not.

My jaw goes slack. “Caliel.”

She turns and her eyes are a shimmering dark silver. There’s pain on her face. The moon shines over her making her glow against the dark of the surrounding trees.

I turn my head slightly. “What do you mean?”

“You need to leave. Tonight. Abandon her, Jesse. She feels too much already.” She’s troubled. Concerned.

I cross my arms and lean to him. “Caliel, are you outta yer damn mind? No. I’m not leavin’ her out here.”

“You have no choice, Jesse! You must! You can’t be here. I’m sorry, but you can’t be with her.” She stares at me with determination and serious conviction. She really believes what she’s saying.

I point at her. “First, you don’t tell me how I live. I think I got that covered. Second, this girl yer riding in, she’s the most precious thing I got. I don’t know why, but for some stupid ass reason, I was given her. I’m not about to walk out on that. I’m also not about to let a dick of an angel tell me to leave her like a broken mule. No fucking way.”

She presses her lips together and tilts her head. “You have no idea who your fucking with, mortal. I’m kind, but that can change, remember that. I’m warning you now. You stay, EVERYTHING goes to hell. Including her.” His true voice comes out.

I get even closer. “You think yer pretty little wings scare me. They don’t. As far as hell goes, I already been there. It ain’t that bad. How about you go find yourself another sorry sack to spout shit from? Leave this little girl alone. If she goes to hell, it’s on you and your selfish ass stealin’ her life.”

Caliel grits his teeth. “I chose her because I knew she’d lead me to you, you dumb shit. Now, shut the fuck up, pack what you need and leave…her…” He glares into my eyes.

I glare back. “You better give me one hell of a good reason.” I grind.

She grabs my neck and whispers in my ear. His angelic words enter my mind. When he’s done, my face falls and my brows stitch up.

He nods in understanding. “You may think I’m an asshole, but know…I truly am sorry.”

He closes his eyes and opens them. Releasing Penelope.

“Jesse?” She says as she faintly falls and I catch her.

“Whoa. I gotcha. I got ya, baby.” I say as I scoop her up in my arms. Her eyes rest and her head lays on my chest.

I look to the moon and back down to her. My chest starts to hurt as I press my lips to her forehead with Caliels words in my head.

I close my eyes and fight the sting.

It’s not fair, but then nothing in my life has ever been fair.