Twenty-Nine

This was the night that I died.

Alice was no more and so was Nathan, who would soon belong to another. I was in a mess, my thoughts in a muddle as I struggled to make sense of it all. It was as if I had been cast into a deep ocean, fatigue from keeping myself afloat. All because of a stupid mistake, my life was destined for misery. There was nothing else I could desire other than the urge to run away.

"Just like me, your daughter will live a life of false comfort, to suffer the betrayal of her lover. Through many lifetimes, she will relive the same torment without any relief. Never will she get the taste of true happiness but only the comfort of constant pain and suffering."

"No. No more." I said adamantly as I stood up from the bed, feeling the sting from the sprain that shot up my spine; paling in comparison to what my heart was tolerating.

"I will live my life the way I want it to be." Biting back on the physical and mental toll, I reached for my phone and sent a quick text before tucking Alice under the covers.

Grabbing my keys, I limped towards the door of my bedroom, taking in the peaceful silence as I took one last look at her before shutting the door.

"Goodbye, Alice."

The night that swallowed the house in pitch darkness seemed different from the usual. Perhaps, it was the unveiled truth that became the light; shining forth within me.

Yes, I was hurting, but there was a small sense of comfort; and it was all thanks to Alice. Now, I possessed a newfound strength, a fervor to make things right once and for all.

The moon gleam and shone down the empty streets, while I took small and steady steps to the park; an eerie yet calming effect as the chilly breeze whiffed across my skin, sending a series of goosebumps to appear.

Slowly but surely, the park came into view.

The crickets resonated louder than ever as I settled on the bench and stared at the water that sparkled under this moonlit night. I drew a breath before exhaling while I leaned backward.

For the first time in five years, I was finally surrounded in serenity amidst those bustling thoughts of mine.

"Ava."

The heavy thuds that ambled along the sand tore my attention away from the scenic view as he arrived, looking as stunning as ever in his tux. Despite what he did, I couldn't help but smile as I gazed upon his face. I guess the intensity of my passion for him would always prevail over our ordeals.

"Sit down." I invited.

His heavy pants and disheveled hair appeared as though he had sprinted from a faraway place just to get here. His steps slowed as he approached me while I scooted over, making sure not to put my weight on the sprained leg.

Nathan, who seemed to have taken notice of this, crouched down and removed my shoe before placing my foot on his thigh.

"It's all my fault." He muttered while massaging the affected area. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'm fine." I assured, instantly relaxing under his healing touch as I continued to peer at him, feeling a sense of endearment and fondness welling and gushing out of me.

"How could you say that?" He mumbled, his figure tensing and growing rigid as he gently placed my feet on the ground. I, on the other hand, was taken aback by his sudden outburst as his voice cut through the tranquillity of the atmosphere.

"After all that I have done, how could you let me off so easily? The least you could do is to shout and scream, or even hit me; anything that will make you feel better."

His huffs in vexation only led me to grin as his words were more than sufficient to confirm his affection for me.

"But you being here already makes me feel better," I uttered, brushing my thumbs across his cheek as I stared into his eyes; pain visibly etched across.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I was ashamed of what I did and afraid that you wouldn't forgive me. But at the same, if you were ready to bury the past, I felt unworthy to be by your side. I am in a bind. I don't deserve forgiveness, Ava. I don't deserve you. But at the same time, I really want to spend the rest of my life with you." He placed his hands over mine, gently clenching them as he brought my palms to his lips.

I placed a soft kiss on his forehead, knowing fully well that his past actions did not reflect his emotions. Just like me, this repentant man was breaking and hurting for years, condemning himself for the accountabilities that I have already forgiven him for.

Enough is enough.

"I couldn't protect you, Ava. You don't know how painful it was for me to see you lying in the hospital, with no memories of us; nor was it easy for me to see you in that tub. It was too late of me to realize that in all the past lives that we shared; that without you, I am nothing." He broke down, completely battered up on the inside as the tears came free-falling.

"But I guess that short span of time away from me guaranteed your safety away from Victor. I would rather let you go than to see you die before my eyes again." He pulled me into a crushing hug, wrapping me up with his warmth.

I nuzzled against the crook of his neck and took in his scent, relaxing in the very arms that made me feel like I was home.

"It must have been hard for you. But I don't need your protection." I said, snuggling even closer to him. "All I need is for me to stand by your side, and to share your burdens."

As we tore away from each other, I stared straight into his eyes, captivated by the tenderness and devotion they held.

"I forgive you, Nathan."

At that instant, I could feel him melt in my arms, no doubt a wave of relief washing over him.

"For anything you did in the past, I consider it void. Because I know that our love is bigger than this; and that this shall be the first obstacle we surpass, together." I stated as his eyes sparkled in response.

For a moment, all words were absent as Nathan simply stared at me.

"Then..."

He whispered in a sweet and velvety voice that seemed to drip with honey as he leaned our foreheads together, our breaths lightly grazing each other's lips. "I choose you, Ava. In this life, and the lives to come, let it be that you shall be the only one for me."

Suddenly, a powerful surge of energy seemed to grip me from within, as if a thousand daggers had been plunged into my heart, poking, and prodding at every inch as it sent me convulsing to the floor.

"N-Nathan, it h-hurts!" whimpering and wailing in utmost torment, I screamed silently; not wanting to wake the neighborhood.

Clutching onto my chest, I crouched onto my knees as a squeezing sensation clenched over my chest, prompting me to wheeze and suffocate over the lack of air.

"Ava!" Nathan hurriedly pulled me into his arms as we sat on the ground, with my head against his chest and his hands positioned protectively over my stomach.

"C-can't b-breathe...hurts..." I voiced, trying to breathe as hard as I could to prevent myself from being smothered.

Yet, as I fought through each breath, it seems as though the lacerations upon my heart penetrated deeper and farther inwards, scrunching, and inflicting an extraordinary amount of pain. I was frightened, but somehow, with Nathan here, everything seems to be alright.

Just then, the menacing laugh from the woman played in my head, as the words that were spoken earlier brought my attention to a small part of the curse that I have overlooked.

"Unless he chooses her, willingly; to sacrifice all that he has for her. Then, will her cycle break. But even so...She will never remember him again. After all, it will be like a new life. And it will either be a hit or a miss."

Then, the vision of Alice appeared while she drew her dying breath.

"I'll see you soon..."

I couldn't help but laugh.

Even till her death, she remains as cheeky as ever.

Though, I knew that she had a reason for doing so. The first and obvious one was her desire to break my curse. And the second, was Nathan. If it were revealed that for the cycle to be broken that my life would have to end; Nathan would most probably deny his feelings, and what Alice had done would have gone to waste.

I guess this is the end.

I thought, knowing that after the next few minutes, all memories of this life and the past that was shared with Nathan, would be wiped clean.

"Hang in there! Just hang in there!" Nathan cried while he waited for the line to be picked up. It was the first time seeing him in such a great panic. Yet, I loved it.

I continued looking upwards as I saw beads of perspiration lace his temple. And his patience, quickly wearing off.

So, this is what he'll be like if he had been there when I was attacked.

Smiling, I garnered the energy that I could muster to reach for the phone that was pressed against his ear, hanging the call with a beep. The warmth that spread through my body was unlike before. I felt safe and secure despite coming face to face with death itself.

So, this is what it's like to die in the arms of your lover.

Nathan, who seemed to realize that I was in my final moments, bowed his head nearer to mine as he clutched my body closer to his.

"Please don't leave me again." He sobbed, shaking uncontrollably as he rocked me with his body, as if he were trying to coax me into staying. "I'll do anything...just stay by my side."

The desperation in his voice tore me apart as the yearning to stay with him grew stronger. But my body didn't allow it as I grew weaker and weaker every second.

"Smile..." I hummed, reaching upwards to swipe his hair away.

That was the last thing I wanted to see, for him to show me that expression that made me fell hard for him, his happiness. However, this only prompted more of his tears to drip on my cheeks.

"Please..."

My wish was answered as he bit back on his lip, forcing the two sides to curl upwards. Nevertheless, his brows furrowed and dipped, telling a different story towards that smile of his.

"U-Ugly..." I giggled weakly, prompting him to give a sad chuckle.

Wiping his tears, I peered straight into his eyes before returning him a grin.

"Be happy..."

Slowly, the energy within me drained away as my vision grew blurry and my body left lethargic; all I wanted to do was sleep. And that, I did.

Enveloped in complete darkness, I felt myself draw a final breath, leaving me in the absolute certainty of just one thing.

I was finally free.

Nathan's POV

"But she will turn out to be." Victor sighed, patting on my shoulder as he walked out of the room. "Chew on my words. In time, it will make sense to you."

No, it won't.

Because time and time again, the main culprit will never be her, but me.

I sat there, contemplating about the past.

My parents were gone and there was nothing I have left, nothing but an empty and soulless company that I thought would somehow, make my parents proud; for my dad to see that the years of scorn we had to endure was not for nothing.

But now, this all felt pointless.

The emptiness screamed louder by the second. And it was a gap that could only be filled by her. The guilt ate me alive as I recalled her floating figure in the tub. Right now, I would trade anything for a moment with her.

"Don't you screw up this time."

Though I didn't know her name, I remembered the words as her voice rang out to me, like a blaring siren that nudged me awake.

What was I thinking?

I clenched my fists into my hair as I thought back on all the promises I could not keep.

The past was the past, and now, this is my future; my chance to make things right.

Standing to my feet, I made a hot pursuit to Victor, dashing through the empty halls and towards the pickup stand. I was relieved that he was still there, just about to enter the car.

Taking a deep gulp of air, I steadied my breathing and calmed my nerves.

"I forfeit!" I shouted, prompting Victor to turn round, retracting his foot from taking another step into the vehicle. "You can have it all."

"Are you really going to give it all up for a woman?" He spoke calmly, the creases of his brows becoming increasingly evident.

"Yes." I simply replied, knowing that this was the only perfect response.

"I would gladly trade all the wealth I have to spend my remaining days with her."

"You foolish boy!" He seethed as I saw a drop of his saliva spew out. "After all these years, the money I have pumped into your education; you are just like your father; an ungrateful brat! It's a pity Diana has a son like you!"

"Call it what you may, but I believe, in here" I retorted while placing a hand over my chest, "that my parents too, would wish for my happiness. A company is nothing but a soulless enterprise; the traces of my parents are no more. And I would only disappoint them further if I deprive myself of happiness."

"You are hopeless!" He spat, slapping me hard across the face. Yet, the sting could not be compared to the pain on the inside.

Giving a loud huff, Victor whipped his head and stomped heavily into the car, leaving me stranded in the dark, with nothing but a few streetlamps illuminating and casting its shadows over me.

"Yes, I am..." I muttered with my head bowed down low. "Hopelessly in love."

Sauntering towards the bollard, I leaned back, resting my weight on its sturdiness. Though that did not seem to take the full pressure off me, that conversation did relief a portion of it.

Did I feel dejected over the company?

Yes.

Do I regret it?

Absolutely not.

By now, the streets were emptied, as did the cars that were parked for this exhibition. It was a deafening silence that left me isolated with my thoughts as I pondered about Ava and the next steps that I should take.

Will she ever forgive me?

More than anything else in the world, the thought of her rejection, trembled and frightened me. Though, I did not think that I had what it takes to wash my hands off her, if it were her decision, I would have complied and left her alone.

Sighing, I tilted my head towards the night sky, where not even a star could be spotted; as if it meant that everything I did was a forlorn attempt.

Just when I was about head back to the office, the loud ding resonated amid the serenity.

I'll be in the park.

The instant palpitation and throbbing against my chest sent me into overdrive as the thought of her willingness to meet me, poured delectable delight.

Without hesitation, I burst off into a mad sprint, ignorant of the burning sore in my thighs, and lungs that seemed to prick painfully as I panted heavily in this cold night air. However, that discomfort seemed to be overthrown by the consolation that I may have a second chance; a possible opportunity that I clearly knew was not deserved.

The fight to resist the exhaustion went on before the park finally came into view.

Exhausted, I slowed my speed and trudged through the compound, looking for any sign of her.

And there she was, sitting quietly by herself as she took in the calmness of the atmosphere, looking extremely peaceful and beautiful.

Strolling over, her head snapped towards my direction as I took in her smile that seemed to shine brighter than the full moon.

"Ava." I breathed.

"Sit down." She said while she moved to the farther end of the bench. Immediately, my eyes were drawn to her ankles as she limped slowly, careful not to put any pressure on it.

I was ashamed of myself, for having done this to her when it was not her fault. Kneeling, I removed her shoe and carefully placed her foot over my thigh before massaging them.

"It's all my fault. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'm fine." She responded, with that assuring tone that intensified the waves of guilt that broke the dam from within.

I was angry at how useless I was, for not standing by her side; leaving her to face the crowd with nothing but utmost embarrassment. I couldn't look at her, not with the overwhelming emotions that were radiating from her.

"How could you say that?" I boomed, after placing her feet back on the ground. Her expression drew into one of shock as the serenity of the night was blown away by my outburst. "After all that I have done, how can you let me off so easily? The least you could do is to shout and scream, or even hit me; anything that will make you feel better."

I huffed, desperate for any relief I could get. All I wanted right now was for her to hurt me the way I hurt her. I wanted her pain and anger to be directed at me. Yet, all she has done was love me.

"But you being here already makes me feel better." She responded as I felt her thumbs caress my cheek while she stared straight into my soul.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she questioned.

"I was ashamed of what I did and afraid that you wouldn't forgive me. But at the same, if you were ready to bury the past, I felt unworthy to be by your side. I am in a bind. I don't deserve forgiveness, Ava. I don't deserve you. But at the same time, I really want to spend the rest of my life with you."

I cupped my hands over hers before bringing her palms to my lips; the softness that I had been yearning for the past few weeks while I battled against my emotions.

I am a sinful man.

"I couldn't protect you, Ava." I continued, "you don't know how painful it was for me to see you lying in the hospital, with no memories of us; nor was it easy for me to see you in that tub. It was too late of me to realize that in all the past lives that we shared; that without you, I am nothing." I croaked, feeling the wetness trail down towards my chin.

"But I guess that short span of time away from me guaranteed your safety away from Victor. I would rather let you go than to see you die before my eyes again."

It was the truth. I could never allow myself to be the culprit of her death ever again.

Pulling her against my chest, I felt her lips press against my neck, chasing away all the negativity that was swarming around me.

"It must have been hard for you. But I don't need your protection." She stated, pushing herself even closer to me. "All I need is for me to stand by your side, and to share your burdens."

As we separated, I was reminded of her words.

"If anything happens, I implore you to not keep me in the dark. Let me share your worries and pain. Let me be the shoulder that you can rely on. Even when nobody is on your side, I will remain. Okay?"

Locking my gaze on her, I searched her eyes for traces of emotions as they held much passion and fire for me.

"I forgive you, Nathan. For anything you did in the past, I consider it void. Because I know that our love is bigger than this; and that this shall be the first obstacle we surpass, together."

Immediately, that huge rock was lifted off my chest; the weight was no more, as if it had sunk to the bottom of the sea, enabling my hand to break through the water surface for a gulp of fresh air.

"Then..." I softly said, leaning my forehead against hers as I took in her scent; feeling a warmth spread like a wildfire, lighting up my darkness. "I choose you, Ava. In this life, and the lives to come, let it be that you shall be the only one for me."

Even if you would come to hate or abandon me, I will gladly bear the hurt.

Suddenly, a scream tore through her lips as she fell to the floor, jerking violently while she clutched against the fabric on her chest.

"N-Nathan, it h-hurts!" She wept, whimpering silently as she convulsed in pain. Her gasps for air grew harder and strenuous to the point that shattered me.

What's happening?

"Ava!" I roared, capturing her into my arms as she leaned the back of her head against my chest. While I, on the other hand, had my arms placed over her stomach; failing pathetically as I attempted to protect her from the harm she was facing, hoping that the pain would be transferred to me.

I would trade anything to be in your position.

"C-can't b-breathe...hurts..."

"Hang in there! Just hang in there!" I cried as her face contorted in pain while I dialled for emergency with my shaky hands. However, those trembles soon came to a still as she reached for the phone to hang the call.

She looked tired and pale, as if the last of her energy was about to get sucked away.

I crouched down, pulling her closer to me as the thought of the inevitable came in barrages. I was not willing to accept it. I was not ready to be left alone. Again.

Not this again...

"Please don't leave me again." I wept, feeling the hot tears gush down. "I'll do anything...just stay by my side."

"Smile..." Her fingers stretched out, sweeping away the hair that was stuck on my face.

How can I smile when you are like this?

"Please..."

Her pleads intensified my aching chest as I realised that this was her last request; which made it harder due to the sobs that came raining down her face.

For now, the best I could do was to hold my breath and bring forth a thin and strained grin.

"U-Ugly..." She said while giggling weakly, sending a chuckle to escape from my lips as she wiped the tears.

The breaths she took soon became shallower and heavier, her body absent from any strength; daunting me of the end that was drawing near.

"Be happy..."

My mind was reduced to mush as her arms came dropping to the side with a loud thud as it hit the ground; a sharp pang gnawing my insides while I bawled and wailed out into the peaceful night and towards the moon.

She was gone.

Bringing her hand to my lips, I kissed it for as long as I could, savouring the residual warmth that was soon to disappear.

It took a while for me to quiet down before I breathed out a sad laugh.

"And how could I do that without you, silly girl?"

I muttered, pressing a gentle kiss upon her forehead before gazing upon her beauty and pristine, knowing that once again, this will be our last time together; but not for long.

"I will find you again. Until then, wait for me."