chapter fourteen â baby king
"I THINK HE LIKES ME"
Roger studied the lump curiously, a cautious smile spread on his features. His shallow dimples creased and smoothed over as his mouth shifted into different silly faces. He was wearing his glasses today, round things with thin metal frames. They suited him, though Kieran insisted it made him look soft. Roger and I were trying to convince him soft wasn't bad, but when Kieran's mind was made up, it was really hard to change.
"It's a fucking baby, it's doesn't like anyone," Kieran hissed, safely on the other side of the couch. His feet were drawn up onto the cushion, arms wrapped around his knees securely trying his very best to look unfazed. He was anything but.
Roger rolled his eyes, leaning forward on to meet the baby's gaze. His eyes took up far too much space on his small, smiling face, and they met Roger's stare unblinkingly. I laughed, grinning when the baby's attention fell on me. He laughed when I grinned, copying me when I started chuckling. His eyes squinted nearly shut in joy, tiny hands clamping into fists and waving in the air triumphantly.
"What happened? Is it okay?" Kieran shuffled next to me on his knees. His hand grabbed my shoulder, concerned. My neck strained as I tried not to spasm from joy like a weirdo.
"Yeah, he's fine," My voice came out pitchy and I coughed, Kieran's hand sliding off me as I moved. No, come back.
Roger looked at me knowingly and I flushed, letting my head hang with a sheepish smile. Roger snickered, punching my shoulder before resuming his game of peek-a-boo. The baby cackled, clapping its pudgy hands together. I smiled as it kept sneaking looks at Kieran, completely curious about the scowling boy next to me.
"Why's it looking at me like that?" Kieran whispered breath fanning across my neck. I completely flinched, not ready for my neck to break out in a colony of goosebumps. Fuck.
Kieran looked at me weirdly, moving back from me with a jerk. I rubbed my neck anxiously.
"He's curiâ"
"âyou okay?" Kieran interrupted me, head tilting roughly. His eyes were narrowed and I cleared my throat, my heart fluttering when I met his gaze. Stop blushing, you're not fourteen anymore.
"Yeah, all good" I shook my head, grinning shyly. Kieran grimaced in response, nodding before shuffling back to his protective position on the couch.
"Guys, how's Baby King doing?" DJ burst into the room. His arms were filled to the brim with snacks, his balance off as he staggered around, almost dropping everything on Kieran. Kieran scowled, jumping closer to me so DJ could sit down without dropping everything.
I smiled, pleased.
"He's good. Living his best baby life" Roger chuckled, tickling the bottom of the baby's feet. DJ grinned, gently putting the snacks on the table before crawling over to where Roger was sitting. Baby King tried turning to see the giant man crawling towards him, falling on his back in the process. We all froze.
"Is he broken?" Kieran whispered, hurriedly sliding off the couch to look at the baby.
Baby King gooed, grabbing at his feet and rolling around with a smile. Babies are fucking indestructible. DJ laughed, scooping him up and blowing a raspberry on his stomach. Baby King squealed, kicking out his chubby legs as we all laughed (except for Kieran, who looked thoroughly concerned that a baby could make that noise and not be dying). DJ grinned fondly, cradling Baby King as he looked at me knowingly.
"How's life, Schmitt?"
"Busy" I answered honestly, leaning back into the couch as I watched DJ play with Baby King. DJ was fucking amazing at dealing with kids, it was like he knew exactly what to do around them. Roger and I weren't too bad either, but we were far less confident in our ventures to make the baby laugh. Kieran just didn't try, and Marco practically identified with them.
"College apps are sucking the life out of me"
Roger made an indiscernible sound of agreement, hands clasping over his face as he dragged his fingers down his cheeks.
"Fuck college apps," He sighed, folding his legs under him as Baby King decided to walk into his side. Roger smiled, letting his fingers lightly tickle over Baby King's chubby self. Baby King cackled, making that happy baby noise that could make the grumpiest grouch smile. He clapped his hands together, pulling on the buttons of Roger's polo. The kid always dressed up nice, even when he was going nowhere important. Ms. Keisha tried dressing Baby King up all nice, but he had a knack for stripping himself of all his clothes except a diaper. Marco was convinced he was a nudist at heart.
"Don't fucking curse in front of my little man!"
We all jumped a little, Baby King's reaction slow as he turned around, looking for the new voice. He giggled happily, holding his arms out as Marco scooped him up and stole him from Roger. Marco threw him up, catching him right before he smashed into the coffee table. Roger and I tensed, my eyes flitting over to Kieran who looked like he was about to faint.
DJ looked oddly unbothered, the same happy smile on his face as he watched Marco toss-and-catch the giggling baby around.
"Who's the cutest fucking bastard out there?" Marco cooed, preparing to launch Baby King up to high heaven. Baby King was laughing so hard he was squealing, voice pitching higher as he ran out of air.
Bless his little baby lungs.
"You are" Marco tossed him up, catching him solidly and letting him breathe for a second.
"Who's the little man that's gonna snag all the bitches at daycare?"
We all looked over at Marco, unimpressed as he grinned. Kieran's eyes were glued to the flying baby, eyes wide and shoulders tensed. I sidled up next to him, nudging him with my shoulder hoping I could relax him.
"What the fuc-"
"-You are!" Marco cut Kieran off quickly, smiling morphing to something quite aware of Kieran's annoyance.
I glanced at Kieran from under my eyelashes, smiling when I saw his leg next to mine. Throwing all my knowledge and logic out of the window (defenestration bitch), I let my leg touch his, a satisfying warmth spreading through my entire body like I'd just gotten into a bathtub filled with pop rocks. Kieran scooted farther away absentmindedly, eyes looking over at me for a millisecond with confusion. It was enough to make me doubt all the decisions I'd made leading up to that moment and enough to reaffirm that my stupid crush was going nowhere at all. Kieran was the farthest thing from gay. He was the complete opposite: yag. Kieran was most assuredly and unabashedly yag. I had to be dense to keep pushing fate like this.
"Marco, we gotta get going" DJ heaved himself up, dusting his pants off. Marco pouted dramatically, entrusting DJ to take Baby King from him as he sadly trudged over to his backpack. He grabbed a few snacks from the pile DJ had brought in with a semi-hidden smirk, slinging his bag over his shoulder. A small Ziploc baggie of a familiar aromatic fell out and he grabbed it sheepishly, genuine embarrassment crossing his features as it caught Baby King's attention briefly.
DJ frowned heavily, smacking Marco's head lightly. Baby King giggled, chubby fist tapping Marco's head too.
"Where you headed?" I headed back to my corner of the couch, intent on hugging the pillow and pretending it was Kieran. I'm royally fucked.
"Marco's shift starts in fifteen and I'm his ride," DJ sighed, still decidedly cheery as he passed Baby King to me. I smiled down at the chubby little lump, nose wrinkling when he grabbed at my hair. Babies' grips were abnormally strong and I winched, struggling to rip myself free of his chubby hands without upsetting him.
Marco grabbed DJ's arm, dragging him out of the room like a rolling suitcase. Kieran watched them go, eyes squinted suspiciously. I pursed my lips nervously, wincing again as Baby King used his free hand to poke at my face.
Roger gently pried the curious child from my face and I smiled, relieved.
"Thanks"
"No problem," He grinned, sitting down on the sagging armchair next to me. He busied Baby King by bouncing him on his leg, looking at me apologetically.
"I do have to leave soon though, so unless one of you magically becomes a baby-whisperer you're gonna have to tell Ms. Keisha you can't babysit today"
"We'll manage," I shrugged, looking over to see Kieran eyeing the baby venomously. His blue eyes looked cattish, lips curved down into his signature frown. Baby King caught his glare, smiling and reaching forward to try to crawl to Kieran and investigate. Roger held him in place as I tried distracting the baby, waving my hands lacklusterly.
"You boys most certainly won't manage," Ms. Keisha entered the room like a tornado, a gust of strong perfume and warm wind.
"Don't worry Roger dear, I called one of my usual babysitters. They're on their way"
"We could've managed"
Kieran finally spoke up, unfolding from his defensive pretzel to look at Ms.Keisha questioningly. From as far as I understood it, she was taking Kieran's Mum out to the city and they'd be back pretty late. The original plan had been for Kieran and me to babysit, but seeing as Baby King didn't like me and Kieran didn't like Baby King, the original plan didn't seem to be the best.
"Kieran, honey, I carried you in my stomach for nine months. You can't bullshit me"
Roger looked at Ms.Keisha like she'd said she was a Soviet Spy, a mixture of disbelief and extreme confusion melted onto his features. Baby King grabbed his glasses, making him shake his head, briefly engaging in a gentle tug-of-war to retrieve them.
"What do you mean?" Roger frowned, gently pushing Baby King's curious hands away from his frames.
"Kieran didn't tell you?" Ms.Keisha's brows furrowed in confusion, shock painting her face when Kieran sighed loudly, shaking his head grumpily.
"I was Kieran's surrogate; he's a test tube baby!"
"Am not!" Kieran hissed, red coloring his face as he looked away.
"Caoimhe used IVF because of some complications with getting pregnant, and I was the lucky surrogate mother to this terrific man right here" Ms. Keisha slapped Kieran's shoulder roughly beaming as he blushed even more, practically sinking his head into his collar like a turtle. A cute turtle.
"I never knew that! That's why you and Kieran are so close, you're like his second mother" Roger smiled, eyes wide with surprise. Kieran made an unintelligible sound, still upset at being called a test-tube baby. Ms. Keisha knew exactly what to say to embarrass him and she beamed, adjusting her purse strap.
"Of course! Kieran's just my bigger baby"
Kieran turned bright pink, Roger coughing loudly into his sleeve as he tried not to laugh. Ms. Keisha laughed heartily, pulling Kieran in for a tight side-hug before walking over and kissing Baby King on the head. He gurgled happily, more concerned with conquering Roger's glasses. She rolled her eyes, smiling and picking Baby King out of Roger's lap and plopping him into Kieran's unexpectedly.
Kieran froze, eyes bugged out and body frozen as Baby King looked up in awe at the boy that had piqued his interest. Calm down Lukas, you can't be jealous of a baby; that's stupid. Baby King happily grabbed Kieran's shirt in his fist, shoving the cloth into his mouth as he gnawed on his fist. His brown eyes swallowed his face as he looked to Kieran like he was a strange alien-god, and chewing up his shirt was a form of worship. Kieran loudly gulped, looking over to me for help.
I just shrugged helplessly, feeling my brownie points drain by the second.
"Alright, your mother is waiting in the car, so I'll be off," Ms.Keisha smiled cheerily, feigning obliviousness.
"Roger, will you get the door for me?"
Roger saluted us goofily, unable to keep the grin off his face as Ms.Keisha herded him out of the room.
"Bye Ezekial! Bye Kieran! Bye Lukas!"
Baby King (a much better title than just plain Ezekial) rolled in Kieran's lap, looking up at the tense teen with a drool-coated grin. A dark patch of saliva was bleeding into Kieran's shirt as he sat completely still, the rising of his chest shallow like he was afraid to breathe.
"Keep an eye out for the babysitter," Ms. Keisha's voice filtered through the house, naturally resonant, "His name's Michael!"
Î Î Î Î Î Î Î
The silence was deafening. Periodically interrupted by Baby King's happy gurgles, the TV was static in the background as I witnessed the strangest interaction between two humans I'd ever seen. After hearing Michael's name I'd felt my stomach drop, unease growing as Kieran's mouth had twisted into his telltale look of disgust. When Michael showed up at the doorstep, hair finally the platinum blond he'd been trying so hard to achieve, I expected an egregious catfight and a night of hate-filled silence.
What I didn't expect was to be the third wheel to my ex-boyfriend and my crush.
"I think he likes me more," Michael grinned, putting the now-empty cup of baby food aside. It was Gerber's Sweet Potato, a weird orangey mush that Baby King had devoured quite happily.
"Are you kidding? I'm obviously his favorite" Kieran scoffed, pushing Michael aside so he could clean up the remnants of Baby King's dinner. It was smeared all over his mouth, some squished in his hands, but Kieran cleaned it, unfazed. He was the last person I'd expect to be okay with cleaning baby spit-up, but there he was: a natural.
Baby King grinned, two bottom teeth the only ones showing in his gummy smile. Kieran grinned in return and I felt my stomach twist as I edged further into the couch. I wasn't used to being the odd one out.
Michael rolled his eyes, unfolding his legs so he could get up and throw everything out. Kieran followed him, muttering something about washing his hands.
Baby King eyed me mutely and started crawling over to where I was on the couch.
"What?"
I frowned, arms reaching out to steady the kid as he used the couch's arm to raise himself up onto his chubby little legs. He giggled with success, holding his arms out to me so I could pull him up. I didn't catch the memo and he fell on his butt, disappointment swimming in his features.
You and me both buddy.
He tried again and this time I managed to scoop him up, grimacing when he immediately started to chew on my shirt. I tried tugging him off but gave up when his tiny hand swatted me away.
"Why're you so obsessed with chewing shirts, huh?"
The dark patch of saliva spread, the light green of shirt suddenly shifting to a dark, damp color. If Baby King hadn't been the only one to pay me attention in the past two hours I would've left by now, but I owed it to the drooling legend. I patted his head sadly, smiling when he looked up at me, annoyed that I'd interrupted his snack.
Even my new friend doesn't wanna talk.
"He's teething" I felt the seat dip next to me, my breath catching when Kieran leaned over me to poke at Baby King. His hair grazed my arm, his hand absently pushing it back as he slouched back into the couch with a lazy smile.
We both watched Baby King mess around for a bit, his eyes flitting back and forth between Kieran and me as we lazily made weird faces at him.
"How'd you know he's teething?" Baby King finally took a break from chewing on my shirt, determinedly slipping out of my lap to walk around. He failed miserably, only managing to stand on two feet for a second before he was back on his knees, crawling under the table like he was on an adventure. I watched him nervously, unsure if he'd bump his head on the wood, but he passed through unscathed.
"Huh?" Kieran looked at me distractedly, still abnormally close.
"Oh, Michael told me. He knows a lot about babies and stuff" Kieran nodded, hands reaching down to pick up Baby King as he made his third lap around the room, accidentally running into my leg. Baby King struggled for a millisecond, stopping when his eyes met Kieran's. He squealed, clapping his hands together before cuddling into Kieran's chest, eyes tired and mouth slightly open. Kieran smiled, still a little awkward, cradling Baby King with a yawn.
"I'm fu-fricken tired"
"Same" I chuckled, sliding further into my corner to give Kieran room. Baby King made an unintelligible sound, arm reaching out to grab at my pants. I raised an eyebrow, my face flushing when Kieran slid closer to me. Baby King yawned and lay across both of our laps collectively, hands gripping both of our shirts tightly.
Kieran didn't seem to notice my state, head dropping back onto the couch as he nodded off slowly. He looked angelic when he was sleeping, a small frown still etched into his features though it looked cuter and not nearly as mean as it was when accompanied by his glare. His chest rose and fell and I tried to calm my heart down, failing miserably when Michael walked in, a sly smile spreading on his features after stopping in his tracks to take it all in.
"Lu-"
"-Shut up" I whisper-yelled, freezing when Kieran's head dropped onto my shoulder. His warm breath fanned across my neck, body sidling up even closer to me and he murmured something in his sleep. I could feel his lips graze the skin by my collarbone and I inhaled steeply, holding in a manly squeal.
"I'm not saying anything," Michael grinned. He was wearing an oversized sweater and he rolled up the sleeves so his hands would be free. His rainbow-colored bracelet jangled freely and I eyed it curiously wondering if Kieran would be so keen on talking to Michael if he saw that.
"How did Kieran react to that?" I gestured to the bracelet, not realizing how bitter I sounded until the words had left my mouth, mouth already contorting into an apology as Michael laughed quietly, trying not to wake the baby up.
"He liked it"
"He what?"
I didn't realize I'd jumped until Kieran grumbled loudly in my ear. One of his arms came around my back, pulling on the side of my stomach as he pulled himself closer to me. I wonder if he can hear my heart race. Baby King yawned, rolling around in my lap and rubbing his eyes, confused and tired. His face screwed up like he was about to cry and Michael quickly darted forwards, picking him up and rocking him.
"I'm gonna put Ezekial to bed, okay?"
"Yeah, um, what should I do about, um," Kieran, I stuttered, still stuck on the idea of Kieran liking a pro-LGBT+ bracelet. I'd seen Michael's bracelet enough to know that there was no way anyone could confuse it with anything but a supportive accessory.
"He looks comfortable," Michael smiled with fake innocence, cradling a very sleepy Baby King.
"Oh okay," I answered dumbly, shifting so Kieran's head wouldn't strain as much. My neck is going to be so sore when I get up.
"Did he really like your bracelet?"
Michael chuckled quietly, grabbing a throw from the nearby chair and throwing it to me.
"Yeah, he really did"
I quietly wrapped the throw around Kieran's shoulders, relieved when a bit draped over me so I wouldn't freeze my ass off in the night.
"You really like him, don't you?"
I blinked, looking away from Kieran sheepishly. Michael met my gaze knowingly, lips quirked into a sad smile as he turned to leave.
"I'm sorry" I fumbled with my words, unsure why I was even apologizing. I didn't do anything, but why do I feel like the world's biggest douchebag?
"Goodnight Lukas"
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3350 words
A long chapter to make up for not updating in a while! I hope you all liked it :) It was inspired by my baby cousin coming to visit haha
What do you think?
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a lovely week <3 :)