Luca's POV
I dried my hair off with a towel and chucked it on the floor as I collapsed into my bed. The sun had long since set, leaving just the slight glow of the moon illuminating the snow outside.
I sighed, turning on the bedside lamp and leaning back onto my pillows. I was confused and I was hurt all at the same time. Keeley's face earlier just about destroyed me. Everything had been great. We had laughed, we had smiled, we had kissed, and we had danced. It had become hard lately to find time that could be spent with just the two of us, and when we finally did, it ended in flames.
I can't even describe the look that had crossed Keeley's face. She had gone from cloud nine to absolutely shell-shocked in a matter of seconds. Her breathing became heavy and quick as her golden eyes focused somewhere that wasn't the living room.
I wanted to run after her, hell, I tried. The only thing that stopped me was Brady. He didn't give me an option as he told me that I wouldn't be able to help Keeley at that moment. He told me he was sorry, but he couldn't let me go upstairs to see her, he wouldn't allow it.
And so I watched as Keeley's best friend chased after her to comfort her. It should have been me up there helping her, but I fucking couldn't and it pissed me off. What could he provide her that I couldn't? I get it that I had known her for far less time than Brady had, but it still should have been me.
And when she flinched away from my hand that was reaching out to help her, I felt as if a part of my heart had shattered at that moment. To think she believed I would ever lay a hand on her made me feel shitty about myself and made me second guess the entire nature of our relationship.
For as long as I've been with Keeley, things have come easily. Whether it be trust, comfort, or love, it just happened. Hell, the day I met Keeley the conversations between us never turned awkward and we consistently had things to talk about. I wasn't used to not knowing what was going on with her. Of course, I'm aware of the fact that she has secrets and pains she would rather not share, but I at least thought she would tell me when things became too much. I thought she would never walk out on me, as she did tonight, without an explanation.
I had stood in the living room alone for a few minutes after everything had happened, wondering to myself where I went wrong. Our families eventually wandered in and I couldn't even look at them without feeling some sort of tug in my chest. I walked off and had come to my room, staying there till now: four agonizingly long hours later, slightly past midnight.
I reached up and rubbed my eyes, willing sleep to come, but I knew it wouldn't. Sleep, for me, was never easy. No matter how exhausted I was, when I laid down my head at night, I could never succumb to the peaceful oblivion that the darkness brings. My mind wandered from topic to topic, from murder to murder. The faces of the people I had killed drowned my thoughts in silent screams and their pleas for life.
But it all changed when I met Keeley. I suddenly found napping and sleeping easier when I laid with her, or even just knowing she was right down the hall made my body rest. It made sleeping easier because I knew that I would be able to see her quicker if I fell asleep this second. Sleeping was easier because thoughts of her consumed my mind rather than the demons who lurked in the shadows of my head.
I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that we were both hurting, and I didn't want to go to her in case she wasn't ready to talk.
I'm not sure how long I tossed and turned, but when I heard three soft rasps on my door, I was up in an instance.
I yanked open my door and was met with the girl who would no doubt always manage to take my breath away. Although tonight, her amber eyes were red and teary and her beautiful blonde hair was matted down and knotted together. The radiance that I usually felt when she entered the room was dull, like there was no sign of it ever existing.
It looked like she was only in a large t-shirt that reached her knees, and it pained me to see her shirt wrinkled and splotchy, more than likely from the tears she had shed. Keeley had her arms hugging her body, almost as if she was trying to hold herself together and prevent herself from collapsing. She wasn't standing strong and seemed to wish herself smaller, which was very different to me.
I had seen Keeley cry on different accounts, but something about this was different. No matter how saddened she felt, Tesoro managed to keep herself up and moving forward, never fretting too long on any particular thing. But here she was, four hours later, her eyes glossy with unshed tears and shoulders still slightly shaking.
I waited for her to say something first, her mouth opening and closing multiple times before she dared looking up to meet my eyes. And when she did, another piece of my heart shattered as I could actually sense the amount of hurt and pain she was in.
The corner of her lips quivered as her voice croaked.
"Luca?"
Her tears began again as I pulled her inside my room, shutting the door and locking it. She apologized over and over again while I wrapped her in my arms and held on to her for dear life. I managed to move us over to my bed, and when I sat down, I found Keeley immediately wrapping her legs around my torso and her arms around my neck, squeezing me in a hug that tells me she needs me as much as I need her.
I kissed her forehead and rubbed my palm up and down her scarred back until all that was left were the sounds of her sniffles and uneven breaths.
When she pulled her head away from my neck, I cupped her cheek with my hand and used the pad of my thumb to wipe away the remaining tears.
"I'm sorry for what happened earlier," she whispered while running her hand through my damp hair.
"Keeley, you don't have to-" I began, but she was quick to cut me off.
"No, I do," she spoke adamantly. I tightened my hold on her as she leaned back from my bare chest. "I do have to apologize because you in no way deserved to be treated like that. I want you to know, I need you to know that I trust you and I know that you would never lay a hand on me. I just, that song-"
"Keeley, baby, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I know you don't like to talk about it," I told her softly before placing a soft kiss on her forehead.
I know Keeley has a dark past, one she doesn't like. And if it hurts her too much to speak about it, I'd rather she would wait until she was ready and not now when she feels like she has to say anything.
Tesoro tilted her head to the side, almost as if she was trying to sort out some puzzle. I watched the corners of her mouth tip up slightly as a saddened smile made its way onto her face. Her stunningly amber eyes had lost some of the pain in them and took on a look that I liked much better, one of love.
It was times like these when it hits me that Keeley is hurting just as much, if not more, than I am. She doesn't openly talk about the demons that plague her thoughts, nor does she ever act like they bother her. I guess you could say we both have that in common.
It's just that when I look at her, I can't help but view her as the epitome of grace, strength, and beauty all combined into one imperfectly perfect person. I often forget that people like Keeley always have pain behind their smiles and screams behind their laughs.
"You are so good to me, Luca," Keeley whispers breaking the silence that had fallen over us. "But you deserve to know part of my life when it constantly interferes with yours."
I went to say something, but she moved one of her hands that was playing with my hair to cover my mouth. She gently shook her head before continuing.
"That song was a big part of my life for a while. There is a lot of pain, but also a lot of good memories behind it. I hadn't heard it in a long time, and when it played today, all the memories, both the good and the bad, came crashing down on me. It was a lot to take in, and I'm sorry for reacting the way I did."
I didn't hesitate to pull Keeley even closer to me as I buried my face in her neck and grabbed onto her sides that were hidden by her shirt. I know that I could say something or tell Keeley everything is okay, but without actually showing her, I have a feeling she'd have a hard time believing it.
"It's okay, Tesoro," I murmur into her neck.
"I love you, Luca."
"I love you too."
I felt her delicate hands cup my jaw and bring my face up to hers. I gave her a smile before placing the softest of kisses on her pink lips.
When I went to pull away, Keeley caught me off guard by pressing herself into me and deepening our kiss, not that I was going to complain though.
I tilted my head as I licked the seam of her lips for permission. She didn't give it to me. Instead, I felt her hold tighten around my neck as she held back a cheesy grin more than likely at my impatience. I love Keeley with all my heart, I do, and I always want to see her stand her ground. But when it comes to her and me, she knows I like to take control, and that girl, she likes to tease.
I bit at her bottom lip, causing her to open her mouth and I didn't hesitate to slip my tongue in. There was nothing hurried about our kiss. Rather than trying to rush it and get my hands all over her, I savored the touch of her lips on my own as she intoxicated me. And when she leaned in more, I moved from her mouth to her jaw and down her neck, tracing the pattern I had kissed her in just hours earlier.
I smiled against the spot on her neck where I had left a mark, knowing damn well that the moment someone in this house sees I'll be dead. But I couldn't really find it in me to care as I felt Keeley's nails drag down my neck and chest. She took me by surprise as she pressed on my chest, sending both of us backwards as she landed straddled across my hips.
I held back a groan as she took over and trailed her mouth down my neck and over my bare chest. I gripped onto her hips tighter, feeling the little control I have starting to leave my body as hers presses into mine. Her blonde hair is falling down and spilling across my skin, the lightness of it sending shivers down my spine.
I couldn't handle her lips not being on my own any longer as I braced my hand against her chin and the top of her neck. I pulled her up and flipped us over, causing a small squeal of surprise to leave her pink lips. I tilted her head up to gain better access as I pressed my hips to hers. I slowed our kiss and lost myself in not only the way her lips danced with my own, but the way her smooth legs wrapped around me. I could feel one of her delicate hands combing through my hair, the other messing with the silver chain around my neck.
A moan escaped my mouth as I felt her thighs squeeze around me and her fingers twisting in my hair. I used an arm to prop me up as the other ran down the length of her sides and across her stomach, aching to feel her skin against my own. I teased with the hem of her oversized shirt, pulling back from her lips and looking into her amber eyes that were wild with lust.
"I know that you aren't comfortable with more and that is completely okay," I whisper, "but may I do this?"
I tug at the end of her shirt while reading her eyes. Keeley's eyes are bearing right back into mine and her lips are slightly swollen from our kiss.
I watch as she slowly nods her head. I have to calm my breathing as I lean back onto my legs and use both of my hands to gently pull her shirt up. It passes her thighs and then her waist, showing me that I was correct in the fact she had no shorts on. Black lace covered her hips and I let my eyes wander from the top of the lace and up her stomach, taking in the way the dark ink on her left side made her skin that much more pale.
I continued easing the shirt up and I eventually pulled it over her breasts and over her head, tossing the shirt somewhere off to the side. I inhaled sharply as I sat back and raked my eyes over the beautiful woman lying in front of me on my bed.
Her matching bralette left little to the imagination as it cut lower than anything I had seen her wear, and dammit, I was feeling all sorts of things.
Keeley's whiteish hair spilled all over my pillow and her pink lips were slightly open. I watched as her almost bare chest would rise and fall, and the paleness of her skin contrasted the floral ink on her sides and the little black lace that covered her. I scanned my eyes down her torso and down her legs, almost breathless at how stunning she actually is.
I saw her hands move to cover her, and I immediately took both of them in one of my own and pinned them above her head. I leaned over her and the feeling of her chest on mine had my body going crazy.
"Dammit, Keeley, you're so fucking gorgeous," I whispered while leaning down and giving her lips a brief but possessive kiss. "So fucking gorgeous."
I feel her moan against my lips as I kiss her hard and slow, pressing myself further into her and dragging my free hand down her stomach and up over the side of her breasts. I soak in the feeling of her skin against my own and the warm smell of her body. I take in the way the skin on her sides is slightly raised from scars to the way her hands strain against my own, begging to be let go so she can touch me.
Keeley is intoxicating in every way and any way possible. My body is drunk on her touch and high on the sounds of the small sighs that escape her lips. She's hypnotizing from the way she moves to the subtle look of bliss that covers her face when I reluctantly pull away. I relish in the radiance that has found her again, and it warms me right down to the core.
We both lie there a moment, each of us breathing heavily and neither of us willing to move away. I study her face as she slowly opens her hooded eyes and gives me the most breathtaking smile I've ever seen from her. I smile back before placing a final peck on her lips and rolling off of her, releasing her hands in the process.
The moment my back hits the bed, she's pressed into my side and tangling her legs with my own. I wrap her into my arms and don't let go, afraid that if I do, I'll never experience a high like this again. It's quiet as we both slow our breathing and embrace each other. Me, holding onto her for dear life, and Keeley tracing one of her hands in circles across my chest, every so often running my necklace through her fingers.
"Did you mean what you said?" her faint voice whispered in the darkness. I tilted my head down to look at her where her head was lying on my chest.
"Which part, baby?"
Her head slanted up to meet my curious gaze as I brushed the hair from her face.
"The part where you said I'm pretty," she spoke, her voice coming out meekly and her eyes filling with worry.
"No," I tell her and her face instantly falls. She begins to retract herself from me but I let out a low chuckle and pull her back.
"Luca, I don't-" she begins to protest but I immediately cut her off.
"I don't think you're just pretty, Keeley. I think you are fucking gorgeous and by far the most magnificent woman I have ever set my eyes on. You're so much more than just pretty."
She smiles and scoots up so her head is laying closer to mine, her almost naked body pressing into me. I lazily run a hand up and down her side as I feel her release a breath.
"That was such a bitchy move," she mumbles and it causes me to let out a hearty laugh that fills the quiet around us.
"I have no idea what you mean, Tesoro," I tease her, embracing the way she is smiling again. I know that what happened tonight has drained her and that it will not instantly go away, but seeing a true smile on her face makes me feel better and I know she does too.
"You, my love, are a tease."
"Me?" I gasp. "If anyone's a tease, it's you."
And that's how the rest of the night goes: us going back and forth, laughing, talking, kissing, embracing each other. I don't think she quite understands how much I love her and the way her laugh sounds. Or how she doesn't understand that her smile makes me feel good and her overall aura is contagious.
To me, it's impossible not to love Keeley. And I plan on loving her and only her.
Till the day I die.
***
Keeley's POV
I wake up to the sound of Luca's soft snores filling the room. I blink my eyes open, and when I go to rub the sleep away, I'm suddenly aware of a weight lying on my chest. I glance down to see a mess of ebony hair splayed out across my skin.
I smile at Luca's sleeping form, his arms wrapped around my torso and his head resting on my chest. My very bare chest might I add.
I feel warm and tingly all over, and much better than I did yesterday. I know Luca doesn't fully understand, I don't expect him to, but I can't even describe the way I felt when he pulled me into his arms. I felt as if things were actually going to be okay. It was okay that I wasn't okay.
I lazily ran a hand through Luca's tangled hair and used my free hand to trace shapes onto his bare skin. It was a step for me to be so vulnerable in front of him last night, both with my emotions and with my physical self. I hadn't been so exposed to somebody since the last time I was with Adrik.
Being with Luca was different than ever being with Adrik. Adrik would continuously push me to talk about my problems and what was bothering me. He was determined to fix it for me, whereas Luca would no doubt fix things with me. Luca pushed me to do things he knew I could, and stepped back and supported me when I couldn't. He was understanding.
And while, yes, I loved to dance with Adrik, there's just something different about dancing with Luca. There's more passion, more emotion, more freedom with him. Luca will take the lead, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels as if we are equals.
I smile to myself as I watch Gnocco's eyes flutter open, hazy with sleep. It takes him a moment before he gets his bearings and lifts his head to meet my eyes, a lazy grin taking up his face.
"So that wasn't a dream," he mumbles to himself, and I can't help but laugh. I look at him as he turns his gaze from my face to my chest, his smile growing more than I thought was possible.
"Holy shit, that was not a dream," he mumbles while placing small kisses on my breasts and up my chest, slowing when he gets to my neck and finally stopping when his lips land on mine.
I smile into the kiss as he laughs and pulls away from me, his hair sticking up in every direction.
"No, it was not," I tell him softly.
"Hey, Luca! Where- why is the door locked?" I hear Giovanni call from outside the door.
I watch as Luca's eyes go wide, mine probably doing the same. The doorknob jiggles and Luca scrambles off the bed to fetch me my shirt.
I do my best to throw it on and smooth my hair, trying not to burst out into laughter as Luca trips over something on the floor and hits the ground. He stands up a bit disoriented and rubs his nose.
"Have you seen-" oh shit.
Luca throws the door open and I don't dare move.
"-Keeley," a surprised Nick says. He and Gio walk slowly into the room, both with a look of shock on their faces, although I think Nick's is laced with horror.
They look from me to Luca and back again, both taking in the ratty state of my hair and Luca's, both of our clothing looking rumpled and thrown on last minute. It isn't until Nick's eyes land on Luca's chest and lower neck that I start to panic.
Between yesterday afternoon and last night, I might have gone a tad wild and left Luca with quite the assortment of hickies across his tanned skin. If I wasn't worried about Nick and his growing understanding of what happened, I certainly was now.
Luca and I didn't sleep together, I'm not ready for that, but Nick doesn't know that. And considering the state we are both in, we aren't doing a very good job of showing it.
"Oh, fuck no," Nick spits out while glaring between the two of us. His eyes are like ice and his face tells me all I need to know.
He's about to unleash hell.
"You're fucking my baby sister?!" he yells and I cringe at the volume. Giovanni is still standing near the doorway, his mouth dropped slightly open.
"Nick, we aren't-" I try but he cuts me off immediately.
"Don't lie to me, Keeley! I get it, you two are in love or some shit like that, but you two, especially you," he points in my direction, "don't need to be hooking up in our house. Shit, you shouldn't be hooking up-"
"Hold on!" I yell to interrupt him. It looks like his head is about to fly right off his shoulders in anger and disbelief at what he walked in on.
"First off, Luca, would you please put on a shirt?" I ask, hoping that if Nick can't see anything, he'll calm down. Luca snaps out of his shocked daze and immediately picks up the shirt he tripped on earlier and throws it over his head. Once he's finished, I turned to Nick.
"Second, Luca and I are not hooking up as you so kindly called it. Yesterday was a very tough day for both of us, so I stayed in here to sleep. I won't deny that Luca and I- yah know, shit. What am I saying?"
"What she's trying to say," Luca says, finally finding his voice, "is that neither me or Keeley are ready for that stage in our relationship. We messed around, but there was no hooking up, no rocking the bed, no doing the deed, no-"
"Luca, please shut up," I beg while closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. He's not making this any better. When I open my eyes again, Luca's ears and neck are bright pink and Nick looks simply horrified. Meanwhile, Gio is standing in the corner holding a hand over his mouth trying not to burst into laughter.
"We didn't do anything, Nick, and even if we did, that wouldn't be your business. We are both adults, we love each other, there would be no shame in anything. But we didn't and I would really appreciate it if you didn't blow this out of proportion."
Nick looks at me, and I can tell he's having an inner battle over what to do. His eyes dart from me back to Luca, and back to me again before sighing.
"Fine, I won't tell anyone. But please, if you ever do, yah know, sex," he spits out like it disgusts him. I slap my hands onto my face as I can feel the embarrassment rising. "Just be quiet about it."
And then he and Giovanni were both out the door. Luca shut the door after them, not turning around to face me quite yet. He slowly moved over to the mirror on the wall. He reached behind him and pulled the neck hole over his head. Luca studied himself in the mirror for a moment before turning around with a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Feeling possessive are we?" he chuckles. I hide my face from him.
"Shut up."
His laughter filled the room as he walks back over to the bed and cages me between his arms. When I look at him again, he presses a kiss on my lips. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me.
He pulls away shortly and gives me a knowing smile.
"You, Keeley, are quite something."
***
Two hours later, I was showered and laying on my bed, sighing at the chain of texts between me and Aubrey.
Please, Keeley. It will be fun, I promise.
-Aubrey
Aubrey, I don't know. The last time you promised me fun, you took me to an illegal fight in some sketchy-ass part city.
-Me
This one isn't in a sketchy city, nor is it illegal, nor is it a fight. It's just our friends going out and having fun. After the week we've had, don't you think we deserve that?
-Aubrey
Fine. Let me ask.
-Me
Aubrey was determined to take me out, and if I'm being honest, I kind of want to go. Some time out with friends might be nice so I can clear my head for a while.
I reluctantly roll out of bed and head out of the door and towards my father's study. I hope he says yes, but if he says no, it won't be that big a deal.
I knock on the solid wood door, waiting till I hear him say come in to turn the knob. I see him sitting behind his mahogany desk, sipping coffee out of a new mug that I haven't thrown into a wall.
"What's up, Keeley?" he asks me setting his cup down. I feel like I'm in the principal's office.
"Would it be okay if I went out with Aubrey and my friends tonight? I'm not sure what we're going to do, but I would like to go," I tell him carefully. His shirt isn't wrinkled and his hair is perfectly gelled back, hopefully, signs of a good morning.
He thought about it for a minute before shrugging his shoulders.
"I don't see why not. Be back by 2, okay? And be careful."
I stare at him questioningly before slowly nodding my head. I don't think he's ever agreed to something I said so quickly.
I turn out of his office and close the door, automatically pulling my phone out of my pocket.
I'm in.
-Me
***
"I'm not wearing that."
I stare at the clothes, or really lack-there-of, in Aubrey's arms. I'd gotten here an hour or so ago around seven, and in the short time I've been here, she's done my hair and my makeup. Now she's just trying to convince me to wear close to nothing as well as ankle-breaking heels.
"Come on, Keels. You'll look super hot. The guys will go crazy," she begs me. I give her a blank look.
"Aubrey, in case you've forgotten, I'm in a very committed relationship with an Italian mafia man, and you, you are involved with a giant English dude," I reason, although I don't think it's working.
"He's Scottish, Keeley." I roll my eyes. "But at least try it on, and if you don't like it, you don't have to wear it. Just please try it on."
I glare at her and she holds my gaze, never once wavering. It's eventually me who sighs and snatches the clothes from her.
"I'm not gonna like it."
***
"TaterTot, you look good," Xavier tells me as I walk out of Aubrey's house in five-inch ugly heels.
I feel stupid. Don't get me wrong, I think I look damn good, but I don't really feel like me.
My hair is pulled back into some sort of messy, updo ponytail sort of thing that matches Aubrey's. The makeup she had so graciously done for me is in silvers and more neutral colors. I feel as if my ass is about to fall out of my black skirt that is finished with a black belt. A deep-red, lacy top leaves little to the imagination as it pushes my boobs together and crisscrosses its thin straps in the back. Black, chunky, heels are strapped onto my feet, and the only things of mine that I'm wearing are my diamond rings and necklace.
I stole a leather jacket from Aubrey to cover my shoulders and back as there is snow on the ground, but if I'm being honest, I feel a tad vulnerable without it. My back and its scars are on full display for anyone who would like to see. I've been trying harder lately to not let them hold me back, but it's still a work in progress.
"Thanks," I mutter to Xavier as he helps me climb into the back of his truck. I slide in next to Luna and give her a small smile. She looks gorgeous in her long-sleeved, black dress. It ends just above the knee and the way her long hair is curled frames her face. I can see why Alex stutters every time he talks about her.
Xavier helps Aubrey after me, and I do have to say, the two of us will more than likely be turning heads tonight.
Aubrey's hair is fixed similar to mine, and her makeup lets her grey eyes seem bluer. She's wearing a denim-colored, tight dress that stops just above mid-thigh and has thin straps that go across her back. Her white strappy heels make her tall frame even taller, and the confidence she has is amplified by her attire.
"You girls ready?" Alex asks from the front. He and Xavier are both wearing dark jeans and untucked button-down shirts. They look equally handsome, and I'm starting to get curious as to where we're going.
"Yeah, is someone going to finally tell me where it is that we're going?" I pipe up from the back. Xavier reverses out of Aubrey's driveway and begins to drive down the street.
"Aubrey didn't tell you?" Xavier sends an odd look to us through the rearview mirror, and I immediately turn my attention to Aubrey who's got a sheepish look on her face.
"Tell me what?"
"Oh, don't worry," she tried to reassure me. "It's going to be fun. It's this newer club, and after the week we've had, I thought we could let loose and have a little fun."
I took let out a heavy breath at her words.
Letting loose, for me, wasn't something I minded, but rather something I haven't done in a long time. Something I hadn't done since Adrik. Back at Reform, I can clearly remember the times when my team and I would break into the Commander's office and raid his liquor cabinet. We were young, way too young to be drinking, but when all of your life is filled with pain and hurt, you look for a way to escape it.
It would normally be whiskey that we'd steal, as it was one of the only things the Commander would drink, but occasionally there were other liquors too. I remember when it became more than just the drinking, though. Dylan and Brady had raided his desk and found his stash of pot, the two of them automatically preferring it to the alcohol.
Lexi and Alice stopped the drinking after a while, but I grew to love not only the way it tasted, but the way it made me feel. After hours and sometimes days of physical labor and torture, after days of seeing and experiencing some of the worst things in my life, the liquor soothed the aching in my head and my body. I felt like I was floating. I didn't feel remorse for any of the terrible acts I'd done, and I didn't think about my family who didn't care about me.
I didn't feel anything. I didn't care.
I just didn't care.
"I've never been to a club before," Luna said breaking me out of my trance. I gave her a smile before turning back to Aubrey.
"Fine. But you're buying the first round."
***
I threw my head back in laughter at the story Aubrey had told me as we pushed away from the bar. Thanks to the fake IDs Aubrey had gotten the two of us, I was buzzed with the feeling of Jack and Coke running through my veins. We had been here about two hours, and in those two hours, we had done a couple of shots, had a few drinks, and danced like crazy.
I was careful with how much I was drinking, knowing damn well that once I have too many, I'm undeniably sloppy. I lose all sense of control over my body and lose my strength. I could have a few more and be fine, but I didn't feel like getting close to drunk.
The two of us turned heads as we pushed through the crowd and towards the booth where the guys and Luna sat. I didn't think they were looking at me though. Aubrey looked drop-dead gorgeous and she knew it. Four guys had come up to her since we'd been here, and every single time, she shut them down. Not before letting them think they had a chance first, of course.
I slid into the booth after Aubrey and looked at our friends. Xavier and Alex were laughing whole-heartedly at something while poor Luna was trying to make herself smaller in the corner. It's quite clear the club scene wasn't her thing.
We all talked for a while, my drink long gone, and when I was about to get up and get my last one for the night, Aubrey squealed as her current favorite song began to play. I was pushed out of the booth and dragged to the dance floor, already moving my hips and throwing my head back.
I grabbed Aubrey's hand and spun her around, the two of us dancing together like there wasn't a care in the world. The bass echoed throughout the room as strobe lights lit up everyone around us. We danced for the rest of the song, and when it changed, I motioned to Aubrey that I was heading to the bar. She nodded her head before turning back to the floor and laughing.
I plopped myself on a barstool after pushing my way through the crowd. The bartender gave me a smile and didn't ask me anything as he already began making me a drink. I slid him the money for my drink before picking up the glass and sipping it.
I felt a slow burn seep down my throat and ease my body. Aubrey was right, I guess. This really was something I needed.
I turned on my barstool and raised the glass to my lips, ready to observe the crowd. But my gaze stopped short as I watched a figure approach me, his face completely pissed.
Nick was the last person I expected to see.
I couldn't move as he pushed his way to me, his hand grabbing my glass and slamming it down on the bar. The noise shook me out of my daze as I straightened my back and gave him a cold look.
"Get your coat," he spits out at me. His face was turning red and I could see the frustration and disappointment swirling in his eyes. But what caught me off guard the most, to be honest, was what he was wearing. He looked... casual.
An untucked, black button-down shirt covered his arms and torso. He was wearing dark blue jeans instead of slacks for a change, and he wasn't wearing fancy dress shoes, but rather loafers. A black and gold watch was fastened around his left wrist, and his hair was not gelled back like normal. It was rather... messy.
"Now," he emphasized as he grabbed my arm and dragged me off the stool. Nick was livid and his grip reflected that. I winced as his fingers dug deeper into my bicep.
I ground my heels into the sticky floor and ripped my arm out of his hold. My hand automatically reaching up to rub the dark red spot on my arm.
"I think the fuck not," I told him in a tone that was just as bitter as his. An angry smile crossed his face as he looked anywhere but me. I'd never seen Nick like this, not even when I was a kid and did something stupid to him.
When his eyes made their way back to mine, they were like ice, so cold I was certain they would freeze me on the spot if they could. They were the eyes of my father.
"I'm going to try not to cause a scene here, Keeley, but you aren't making it easy. You shouldn't even be here. It's almost midnight, you're drinking, and look at the way you're dressed. We," he stated while pointing back and forth between the two of us, "are going home."
I could understand why he'd be mad that I was drinking, and it wasn't late, but that wasn't what bugged me. What did, though, was the way he motioned up and down with his hand when he talked about what I was wearing. Nick looked disgusted when he looked at me, and that hurt more than I cared to admit.
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I asked looking directly at him. The music pounded around us and the lights were flashing. I was suddenly feeling a tad woozy.
"Do I even have to explain that? You're not stupid, Keeley, so don't act so ignorant."
I flinched back at the tone and meaning of his words. He moved to grab me again but I sidestepped him.
"If you've got something to say, Nick, just say it," I bite back. But I wish I wouldn't have said that, because if I had known that the next words that came out of his mouth would make me feel more self-conscious and shittier about myself physically than I had in a long time, I would have stayed quiet.
He let out a frustrated laugh before speaking. "Look at you: your skirt, the shoes, the fucking lace top. I didn't peg you as the whore type, Keeley."
I flinched back again, I'm sure my face showing just how much his words actually affected me. I began to interrupt him, but he kept talking.
"You're buzzed, if not drunk, and you look like you're ready to go home with any guy who even remotely looks at you. And really, Keeley? Have you forgotten your back? Nobody here wants to see it. Nobody wants to see you're fucking scars."
After the words left his mouth, I could see the look in his eyes shift, almost as if he couldn't believe the words he had just spoken, but the consequences of his words were automatically felt.
I knew I wasn't, but I suddenly felt naked in this room full of strangers. Nick's words had hurt me more than I would have liked to admit. I'd completely forgotten, for once, about the dark lines that painted my back. I hadn't felt ugly. I hadn't felt stupid. I had actually felt pretty. And yes, my clothes were revealing, but I was dressed like I was going to a club. That was it.
I was suddenly back in the mind space I had been over a year ago: feeling shitty and scared of the way I looked. Hating myself for the way others thought of me. Hating myself for believing that I could be more than just my pain.
Nick had hit something in me that I thought I had moved past, but as I felt tears beginning to form in my eyes, I knew that wasn't the case.
"Munch," he said much quieter this time, but I couldn't find it in me to speak to him. He looked to my arm, where I was still rubbing the spot he had grabbed me, and disbelief took over him.
On my arm were five blackening spots.
"I'm sor-"
"Nick, what's going on?"
I turned my head over my shoulder and caught the sight of a woman walking up to us. My first thought was that she was gorgeous. Her long legs and slim frame made her almost as tall as Nick in her heels. A tight, white dress hugged her body and accentuated her small curves. Her hair was so dark that it was almost black, and her sunkissed, tanned skin made the vibrant green in her eyes pop. She was beautiful, and by the way she wrapped her delicate hand around Nick's arm, I knew that there was more to their relationship.
I quickly cleared my face of anything I had felt, allowing myself to go cold and fall slowly back into the girl I once was. I didn't think it was possible for only a few words to send my mind back to after Adrik. I didn't think it was possible, after months of learning to love again, to feel so empty inside. But Nick just had to prove me wrong.
Fucking Nick.
"Julia, this is my sister, Keeley. Keeley, this is Julia," he paused, "my girlfriend."
I studied his face for a moment, taking in the way his eyes searched mine, looking for any clue as to how I was feeling. But any relationship I had built with Nick was gone. I wouldn't allow his words to hurt me again.
I let out an amused chuckle at the look on Julia's face. She looked confused.
"How lovely," I spit out, and suddenly wondered to myself how much I knew about Nick. It seemed he knew all about my relationship, as he did walk in on me and Luca this morning. He seemed so eager to know everything about me when I didn't truly know a damn thing about him.
I walk away, preparing to get my jacket and purse from the coat lady. I'll text Aubrey when I'm out of here. I can't even think straight at the moment.
"Where are you going?" Nick shouts at me as he pushes him and Julia through the crowd.
"To get my fucking coat," I snap while turning to face him. Julia's eyes lift and I could tell she had been staring at the scars. The scars I suddenly couldn't fucking stand. "I thought that'd be fine with you so I wouldn't look so disgusting."
Julia's eyes widened in what my guess would be surprised as she turned her gaze onto Nick. He was looking right back at me, this time, his eyes were far from the cold look I had gotten earlier.
It took all of five minutes for the three of us to retrieve our coats and get in the car. Nick had driven one of the SUVs today and I didn't mind. It meant that I could sit directly behind him and not have to see his face. I texted Aubrey about what had happened and she told me that she would call me tomorrow so I could vent to her.
You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. I was furious at Nick and what he had called me, but more than that, I was unbelievably hurt. Part of me thinks I had imagined it, that he had never told me my scars were nasty and that I quite literally looked like a whore. But then I'd run my hand over the new bruises on my arm, and knew that it wasn't some fantasy.
It was my reality.
We had been driving for a while and only were a few minutes away from home. I knew that I wouldn't feel like being around Nick after we got out of this car, and I'll be damned if I don't get some of my questions answered before then.
"So," I spoke bitterly, successfully disturbing the forced silence around us. "How long have you two little lovebirds been together?"
I could physically hear Nick let out a frustrated sigh and adjust his grip on the wheel.
"Three months," he ground out. I let out a humorless laugh. I was home three months ago. Hell, I've been back for four months, although it seems like it's been so much longer than that. He had never even told me.
"Have they met the family?" I asked, this time wondering if maybe he just hadn't told anybody. I don't know why I was trying to make this situation better, his answer probably wouldn't even be able to make me feel any less shitty anyway.
"She's only met Giovanni and Finn, but the others know, all but Luca."
I could feel my irritation rising. My hands automatically were aching to feel a knife or a gun, anything that I could use to take my aggravation out on.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I kept going. I looked in the rearview mirror and caught Nick's gaze, but I turned my eyes to Julia who looked guilty. She probably didn't plan on date night turning this way.
"Keeley, that's enough," he stated telling me that he was done with questions, but I was far from it. I couldn't care less about him at the moment.
"Does she know what we do, Nick? Does she know about our family business?" I could tell I had hit a spot in both of them as I watched their shoulders grow rigid and Julia's face turn to Nick.
"She knows enough about what we do to understand that it's not an easy lifestyle," he explained.
I surprised myself as a cynical laugh escaped my lips, sounding so much like Adrik's that it frightened me, but I pushed it aside. I was better than he was, I wouldn't physically hurt Nick. I wouldn't stop to Nick's level, especially not Adrik's.
"I know about the family, Keeley, and I'm okay with it," I heard Julia try and reason. I had to fight the urge to reach forward and grab her neck. I felt my mind and body having a battle that made my head spin. My mind was telling me that enough hurt had been caused tonight and that I should drop it. My body? My body craved murder at the thought of being treated like Nick had done to me.
"Julia, you seem like a very nice girl, but my hands are itching right now with the desire to hurt people. And normally when I start, it's very hard for me to stop. So when I say this, I mean it in the nicest fucking way: shut the hell up."
It was at that moment that we had parked in the driveway and I was already out the door and making my way up to the house. I heard Nick's footsteps racing to catch up with me.
I was all too warm as I ripped off my jacket and climbed up the few steps to the porch.
"You need to calm the fuck down, Keeley," he shouted at me as I threw the door open and stormed into the house. I could see our family and the Moretti's in the living room, their heads turning at the sudden commotion.
"Why? Why should I calm the fuck down Nick?" I yelled at him while making my way to the stairs.
"What is going on? Why are you home early, Keeley? Did you not have fun?" I heard my father question as he walked into view, the rest of the family not far behind.
"Why don't you ask your son and his girlfriend. I'm just a fucking whore with ugly scars, isn't that right, Nick? What would I know?"
I didn't stay to see the surprised look on my father's face. I didn't stay to grab Luca and bring him with me. I didn't stay to explain my story. I just left.
I rushed my way into my room and slammed the door behind, locking it before stripping out of my clothes and turning on the shower. I let the water burn my skin as I stood under it, unpinning my hair and letting the tears fall.
I looked down at my once pale skin that was quickly reddening with the heat from the water. I didn't care that it burned. I didn't care that angry tears fell from my eyes like rain. I didn't fucking care about anything right now except the disgust I felt with myself.
I just didn't fucking care.
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Hey guys! I'm so sorry about the late update. College has been quite crazy and as you can see, this was a really long chapter. I hope you all loved it!
Please tell me what you think!
Happy Reading!
Final Word Count: 8536