SHIN
The woman's slap was reassuring, her palms weren't as calloused or merciless as the man's punch. I preferred her mode of torture to the other one. I was starving, the woman was against the idea. But lost to him. An hour more, I don't think I can keep my concious awakened.
My head falls to the side with half of my body hunching with the momentum. Her hand weaves through my hair and I was yanked back- I face him. I should've known. She never touched my hair. Shabby, tall, and grouchy since the day I had opened my eyes. I can't even recognize how many hours it had been since they took me in a hostage.
I focus on the split, thick brown scar running down his side, from his temple to the ear lobe. His cropped hair damp with grease and dirt, he smelled of burnt coal.
"Listen here kid" he growls, a chill elopes my battered body at the raging threat, if listening was an emotion- I was doing my best to not let him think otherwise. I listened obediently "It's either your mother listens to us, or you die here"
When my mouth thirsted to swallow the fear before I could free my words out, I couldn't. They were parched. So dry that I couldn't feel the texture of my tongue. My gaze darts to the woman- unlike him, she resembled a person one would pass through the street.
Her eyes were always alert, though she kicked and thrashed me around right before each call they made to Mom so I could beg and cry as I spoke. She wasn't as cruel with the pressure she used. I looked at her for solace. My eyes hazing with each blink.
She crossed her arms, looking away. she often did that when the man was around me. Ignored initially, but later stopped him at the right time from damaging me beyond repair,
But tonight it was fruitless, it was as if I was rooting to find a pearl among a bucket of muck.
I breathed through my parted lips, the blocked nostrils too tight as a result of the constant mental breakdowns I was having.
"She won't do it" my voice trembled, an octave higher than me "What you are asking for is too big"
Abruptly I am pushed to the side, he screams in frustration as my temple hits the concrete. Soon my visions weren't vague, but blacking out altogether. For the first time, I took notice of the lady fighting with the man-
"This won't do" it came from far away, her terrified voice screaming in shock as a hand presses against the side of my head, probably to curtail the blood flow. I feel the touch, I hear the sounds. But they slip away the hastier I tried to keep my conscience alive "This kid is not the one we are here to kill"
I wanted to hear, know more of what they had in store for me. To believe that my mother will choose me over her duty.
But I know- even if she choose to do it, our life will be worse than what these two could do to me.
So I slept through it.
Slept through it similar to how I sleep through every good thing that could have happened to me.
My trainers spring against the ground as I ran, the sole bit my toes uncomfortably since the sneakers were new. I ran with the speed, propelling my stamina in a quest to vacate my mind. It was six-thirty in the morning, and the park had infrequent joggers minding their own business. With my hoodie up in order to avoid any social interactions, I fling my priority into planning my day.
I had my calendar full of what I must be doing today. But when I received a call from the alleged designer that the coffee guy had implemented me off- I realized I had entirely forgotten about him too. I can't even recall his name until the woman herself had brought it up.
"Mr. Moreno had us see to it. any time today will be fine with Belinda, we already have his tailoring measure-
Nicholas Moreno.
My insides groaned at how stupid I was. I had gambled with the impression that I will turn into a new leaf today when I was a grown-up tree that lacked photosynthesisim. It certainly was too late. Wheezing I slowed on the track, bent with my hands on my knees gasping for air. I glare at the path ahead of me, and in two minutes I was running again.
Again and away from regrets, mistakes, and traumas. The morning had been cloudier than what the weather had suggested, I can't even jog in peace. Hicking up the pace, harder and faster I comprehensively began to envy Lee as I skim over the events from yesterday.
Even with a shattered dream, he had a life where he had ample reasons he could live for. A story that he could proceed with. A life that he could look forward to. I don't see or speculate mine to be like his. Resting by a tree, I let my head fall to my hand as i skids into a seating position. No matter how much I resisted the tears kept coming. My body fell weaker as I bawled my eyes out in the secluded corner. The strong façade I had up melts, my sanity acts as a diplomatic wax that can't survive a temperature. A coward. A stupid girl who sleeps only to wake up without hope.
As I cried, I even forgot what I was crying about. When the drizzling rain pelts, I cross my leg and hug it to my chest. Miles away from home- wondering what my family was up to. It's not been that long- but I miss them. The rain was soft by where I sat, the trees behaved as a loose ceiling while the view I had was of a heavy downpour. The smell of earthy musk whiffs pasts with the slight sprinkle of rain spraying on my face. The wind was in frenzy.
The sudden onset of rain steered the park clear of runners and walkers. I- perhaps was the only one who sat there drenching without care. I got up, unzipping the hoodie, taking it off completely so I was left in a black tank top and grey yoga pants. The sky was grey, the clouds still hid the sun beneath. But I was done hiding- I have cried enough for a week to last. Stepping on the mainland I look up at the sky- they fall on me. e
Each drop on my skin as they healed me for the moment. The absence of pain can't be a permanence, but the key is to treasure the little relief you conjure in between.
The splatters of water hitting metal sheets and the jostle of leaves fights for dominance, I smile sadly at the thought of such natural chaos, It was beautiful, the melody of them in dispute - when I open my eyes, I see something equally fascinating â I see him.
Lee.
Farby the lane as our eyes met. His were on mine- though far, I could make out his explorative gaze on me with a glance. He had his brows furrowed, his clothes drenched similar to mine. The shirt that he wore to bed last night stuck to him like a second skin. We don't do anything else- we just stare. Without words, without an interruptive movement from either of us.
I couldn't look away. It felt as if I had no control over what I wanted to do. When he neared- his steps turning quicker as he strides, I blinked rapidly to lose the water weighing my lashes down.
"What are you doing?" he hisses gritting his teeth, pushing his wet hair back. With an exposed forehead and angry stare he brought the top of his knuckles and flicked the top of my forehead "You want to get sick or what?"
Rubbing the spot with disbelief I gawked at him.
"What a hypocrite! You are here soaked in rain too. Where's the umbrella huh?" I raise my knuckles to return his favor. But he was fast as he grabbed my wrist- ducking right in time.
"Oh yeah? If it wasn't for you I wouldn't even be here. I woke up without you using me as a make-shift pillow. I freaked and came here looking for you. You even didn't had your phone on you" he bursts, his anyious eyes pinning me for a few seconds. Finally he shakes his head like a puppy, droplets of water falls on me as I flinched. It sets me back upright.
"I don't use you as a pillow" I shout, cutting through the lies he was knitting. "I would never do that. I coul-
"Then why do I find us tangled by the sheets early in morning every day? I have been helping you go back to your side of the bed at sharp seven so we could avoid the awkward confrontations. Now I even clock an alarm to carry out the deed. I wake up to detach us"
When he said deed, he made sure to flash his pearly white teeth sassily. It irked me. He probably wanted me to be moved by it-
"It's too early for this" I sigh, despising the burns on my cheek. He was four years older than me, yet he was so immature. why can't he just let things pass? Why was he giving my heart such a difficult time?
"It's also too early for so many things between us. but I am holding back aren't I?" he grunts with a snappy jerk, he then regards me through the side- the darts from the sky calms as the sun sluggishly yawns through. "Let's go, I have no clue of how to take care of a sick girl. I barely could look after myself. We can't have you catching a cold or flu"
Ouch.
"I can take care-
"Of yourself. I know. but what if it gets bad- what if it affects your digestive juices and you start puking. I can't run around with bowl so you coul-
Whining I stomp off, he follows me grinning as we drag soaked shoes through the reception, then the elevator. At least the penthouse. Once in I move in the direction of our room to clean up- but his call halts me-
"Hey shin"
Biting my lips to store my bursting irritation in, I turn around.
"Now what?" the tip of my nose bumps into his buttoned chest as I stumble, I regain my startled self as he supports me by the arm. I wasn't prepared to face him so close by, so with a wide-spanned gaze, I look at him questioningly. His search mine, thoroughly. As if he was flipping the pages that were scripted with something he couldn't read. I won't let him. He can't know.
Neither can he cross the line I have drawn between us. It's poisonous enough for both of us, it will be the beginning of a story that possibly will be left incomplete.
"You cried?" his utterance couldn't be more fragile. And these signs couldn't alert me more. They were enough for me to yank my hand back. But his hold only got stronger.
"I wasn't"
"Your eyes are swollen, nose pink. Don't lie to me"
"I did not. It might be falling ill or something" seething a silent breath in at the unprepared crack in my reply that only ironed his creasing doubts. He slants as he looked at me- challengingly. That was the last straw, with my might I attempt to shove him off- but he pulled me to him. His vice arms embraced me into a hug so tight that I momentarily swooned within. His words vibrates through him, I could feel the touch of them as it transcends from him to me.
"My language of comfort had always been this" his palms cups the back of my head as my cheek cushions against his wet damp shirt "You can hold me, hug me, or talk to me when it gets hard for you. Okay?"
It was pathetic what I did in succession. It shouldn't be this way- he shouldn't be acting out the way he is. He was the ticket to my temporary freedom, he wasn't supposed to trek his position into someone important. But when I hugged him- returning everything that he was making me feel then was a mistake.
A mistake that will leave us hurting if we didn't stop.
It's not a past.
It's not the present.
But a future that was bigger than us both. But I was clenching on to him with a vulnerability that he thinks he could heal. If only he knew that anything that had happened or anything thing that I am so far has nothing to do with what might happen next.
Phew! So how you guys?