The response for the book has been such a pleasure to scroll through. Though I may not be able to reply to most of the comments or DMs, I do read them all. And it makes me feel so blessed.
So eat healthy and stay safe. Water plants and moisturize your skin. Drink water- hydrate. Done?
Yeah also vote...it makes Lee happy.
Now proceed.
LEE
"Sorry for keeping you, Miss Han"
Though I had my back to the man, the familiar voice ignited a stream of memories that weren't pleasant in existence. It was twisting and loathsome that my intellect decided to completely ignore the prospect of such a coincidence to occur. But even in a city that's infested with sin, there were only a few assholes it harbored. And a Moreno with that cynical touch in utterance could only be the prick himself.
So I turn around, my surface a blank canvas with mobility to change according to what the scoundrel has to offer. It was curative to witness the color drain from his face. He probably wasn't friendly with the idea of a reunion. With his company and agency backing and cleaning up his trash- he doesn't know how to get through the shards of glass left behind when he shattered a man career.
"Lee?"
He has changed. Something in him has- not in ferocity. But beneath his hide, he didn't look so good. Then it hits me. Of course, it wasn't well for him. I knew it the moment Clarissa called me today, We had enough evidence to carry out the prosecution.
"Nicholas. Nice to see you man" I smile, of all the images I could link him with- I remember one where he stood with Madison with his filthy hand on her waist. In the middle of my house was it where I found them, she went with him the day I needed to be held and comforted the most. But it wasn't that which seem to boil my blood- it's the thought of what he might have planned if I wasn't here with Shin. He wasn't touching her or even next to her- but I was going crazy just by the thought of it. It wasn't making sense. So I fucking smile at him. It's worse for me to do it through a façade. It's when I am the most unforgiving. "Still the same. Missed me?"
He doesn't answer at the moment. I don't expect him to- all I wanted now was to get shin out of here. I felt her presence next to me, but I don't want to look at her. after the shoot and what I went through it- I don't think it was safe for her to interest my attention so soon.
"How are you?" he asks, his discomfort morphs into a forced nonchalance. Mine doesn't. it boosts me to walk slightly towards him, confront him personally. But shin was a still at an arms reach- I make sure of it.
"I am as fine as I could be. But what about you? " I glance at my watch wishing the time would move promptly. I hate his mere existence. I look up with my light eyes, training it on him so it could wrench him more. "I don't think you could say the same"
In a spur of a second, his gaze speared into a glare. But they were afraid in corners. It was relaxing.
"Why are you back?" his voice was an octave above a whisper, "I thought you had an empire to take care of"
I closed my eyes with a chuckle, I detest how I was finding this so entertaining. He didn't share the same sentiment though.
"I didn't come here alone" I reach behind and coiled my fingers by Shin's wrist. She had a small one- and by the number of times I had held her by it- I bet I could blindly sketch them on a sheet despite my zero experience in the field. I bring it up so her ring was on display "My wife wanted to get married here"
We have been using the marriage card more often than I would like. But it didn't feel wrong.
There was a silence. But it wasn't Moreno who had to add something.
"Lee" shin whispers, leaning a bit by me "It's the wrong hand"
Taking it to notice, I say-
"Show the other"
Obediently she does as I drop her ringless one. She waves of- as if she was desperate to escape the situation too. Good. I prefer it this way. When Morenos demeanor soured the least, I know he was playing it casually.
"What are you trying to imply Lee" he smirks, the arrogance brutally fake on him. "The girl ruined my shirt, I asked to be repaid. What's the catch that I am not getting here?"
In an odd move I threw a quick glance at shin. Her nose twitched with a short crease clipping between her brows. She too thinks it's ridiculous. Who wouldn't- people get paid by money and not being guilt-tripped into a shopping date to fulfil some measly motives.
"Same old Moreno" I know it was the last jab, there wasn't much he could say or do after this. Though I wish I could do this other way with shin not around. "Always after someone who is taken or committed. Like a dog, tailing around anyone who you pass by"
I wish I could've left right then- but the son of a gun still had it in him-
"Madison did chose me. A dog over a pup" his smirk was petty, I wasn't sadly smiling anymore. His words did get to me as pathetic as it was, I itched to bash his skull against a wall. Pup? He thinks I looked like a puppy?
My jaw numbs from the hideous clenching, flipping my wallet I trace out my card. I hand it to the girl who received us initially, she looked at it as if I was holding a glass of blood out for her. but takes It nevertheless.
"Extract the money enough to pay for the highest attire at price" then as an afterthought I scratch my brow with my index "You know what? make it two" with a deceptive glance at his way I grab shin's hand again. Interlacing our fingers as I start to walk- but when we were about to cross path with him, I look to the side. "Bid them wisely in some kind of auction in future" I place a supportive hand at his shoulder, he tensed at that. He wasn't immune, was he? So I grit it down his range "You are going to need the money to survive"
My steps were bold, even when I was free from the suffocative studio- I still held my head high up. When we stood next to the car, I wasn't so sure. A constellation of anger and frustration soon drizzled over me. and then I know I wanted to change into a curve before I go off. Shin probably wasn't awaiting a snappy outrage as she flinched when I shifted to look at her, abruptly.
I took a deep breath. Exhaling it through my lips I calmly spanned my arms towards the direction where we came from.
"Shin" I used a tone that one does to make a child understand the tribe "You just can't go out alone to meet a man with a face like that"
The air blows her hair into her face, she tucks them behind her ears with her gaze narrowing.
"You mean that I shouldn't go alone to meet a man whose personality you already knew but it just began to fit his face as he revealed his true colors and now you think everyone with a similar structure or shape is a jerk?"
That tied my tongue in complication. She wasn't wrong. Hell- she couldn't be more precise. What am I to do with her? She was a living box of Pandora for me, the more I know of her- the harder it gets to stay away. A little bundle of trouble she was for me. That's all.
Like the candies, to crave but can't have.
Can't have-Â but it still has been causing these blunders which leave me conducting a pep talk inside my head for hours in the bathroom. Hug me and hold me whenever you need me?
What was I high on when I permitted her to do such a thing? It got so frustrating to the point where I was pulling my hair out.
Why do I want to protect her so bad?
What was I even protecting her from? If this keeps going on- she might be needing protection from me instead.
"Who is he?" there she goes. Tearing me open further. But I was too late to throw this off the bush.
"He use to be a rival in tracks" her lips part, but she restrains herself from prying. I don't stop though. She can know- it's nothing I ever tried to hide. It wasn't my fault for it to be ashamed of "Four years ago when I got into an accident, it wasn't because of my negligence. But it happened because it was meant to happen"
She blinks, Once. Twice. By the third they spanned with realization. Then she lets out a stream of curse in our national language. It was adorable. So I cursed at my conscience.
"You were framed by that- that- ?" she was fighting her own words now, her shoulders raised, her thin frame shifts in brakes. She looks through my shoulder at the glass door "You were so rude in there"
Immediately I frown- I believe I wasn't- But-
"You insulted dogs by addressing him as one"
The vexed atmosphere dissolved because when I heard my own laugh even before I knew I was doing it, it's when you know that you are entirely off the hook-
-but it also meant that I accidentally was getting chained by something else. Or rather someone.
****
By the time we drove around, it was a peak hour for lunch enthusiasts. We decided to wait in line when the restaurant which Shin and I randomly sighted by was full. It was a buffet hub, and the aroma of grilled meat and tangy sauce overtook the other equally enticing flavors that I could taste just by its smell. Shin seems to contribute with my thoughts as her gaze kept switching by the vessels upon the stove top. Preplanning what and how to have it all without throwing up.
They weren't any reservations we could make or bribe the old woman with who seems to run the homey East Asian restaurant. She was strict with the rules. Since it was on a first come first serve basis, we waited outside.
Shin produced out a tube of sunscreen from her satchel- rewinding me to the moment she had asked me if I was wearing any SPF serum. It was in her backyard- almost three months ago. I'd be a lie if I say I hadn't thought of her during the period that passed between our agreement and marriage. Though we never met- she crossed my mind more often than I delighted. Regrettably, it was always connected to deviate my sense of paranoia. I was betrayed once- I couldn't risk it again.
But my worry was futile.
Each minute with her- I regret ditching her the whole time.
So the least I could do was apply a coat of sunscreen as we stood, despite a layer that I previously had on. She was relieved. As for the lunch- we didn't speak. There wasn't a thing to, the food and our actions spoke for us. Each time when we praised a starter- it was conveyed by us serving it upon the other's plate and ushering to try it since our mouths were full.
She seems to enjoy the seafood better compared to the rest. When we got out I was a pound heavier and for a petite girl like shin, she did her best. She- was her best. It was five in the evening and Shin scrolled over her grocery note summarized on her phone. And soon we were surfing through the aisles of the convenience.
"Oh this is embarrassing" she mutters sitting cross-legged, tugged in a shopping cart as I wheeled. "I can walk, it's not that bad"
Rolling my eyes I softly hit my knuckle by her round head.
"Why didn't you tell me before. Your ankle is swollen" I sigh turning right, she leans sideways and slides a red baseball cap. She wears it to conceal herself. Smart move.
"Exaggeration right there. Its just red- not-
She halts when I drop a tray of shrimp wrapped in a saran on her lap. She inspects it like a child would with their toy. But she wasn't one- so it was totally childish of her to be walking around in a distorted shoe. Apparently my haste to get us out of the clothing store caused an inch of her heel to chip off. I wouldn't have known if I hadn't caught her grimacing with the steps when she thought I wasn't looking at her.
We did get new shoes. A comfortable converse. But there was no way she was walking with that tiny red foot of hers. size six feet- they were pretty small compared to mine. Despite the tantrums, it was easy to pick her up- The cart was big enough for her.
"We need vegetables" there was a mounted mirror in front of us, I wasn't able to see her eyes because of the cap- but did envisioned the pout with which she pointed once she found it. I had never seen someone look so happy in a venture to purchase peas and onions. But there she was-
For how long has she been craving for a home cooked meal?
"People are like vegetables. they each have a quality that complements a human nature"
I-Â wasn't expecting the debut of a Shinian philosophy. But did she ever turned out as my expectations? This was a waste of my energy. So I smile at her- a dignified one.
"Please explain me teacher" sarcastically I press my palms together- as if praying to a monk. My utterance was a mix of I am pissed off at you for not telling me about your leg earlier
-and
Please go on, I really want to know what you have to say.
But she's doesn't care, she dived into the sea of doctrines right away.
"Turnips, Radishes and Broccoli" Deep into this, her eye elucidates a strange passion "They are the least favorite ones into society. The Moreno guy falls in this category. Disliked, unwanted, and bitter-bland. An exception to few spices they don't go well with anything else. Harvested only for the bare population that prefers them"
I chew on my bottom lip, trying to not admit how relatable it was. But then-
"What about me? What am I?"
Her eyes graze the bed of various greens, It puts me into a state of unease. I don't want to be spinach.
"A carrot"
Thank heavens, itâ
"You are like a bunny"
Wait- what?
"Have you seen yourself?" it wasn't a defense, my smile was for real this wise. She was as close to a rabbit as far as anyone across the vicinity. I refuse to be called a puppy and a bunny in a day.
"Yeah- don't go on me now. I don't know why I said that either" her nose flared as she picks a bag of carrots "You are sweet like these, crunchy and hard in texture, but vibrant and sweet within. Aren't you?"
I hum with my thoughts circling on their own. Erring to hold it in- I ask-
"What do mean by crunchy and hard?" chuckling I clutch the bar, pushing forward, not anticipating an answer.
"Oh- that's because I saw your abs today. First hand. They were firm- just like-
She didn't render me speechless. She couldn't even if she tried to. Because I was a man of many words. But she somehow jumbled it down to make me think of one single term despite my fierce struggle to create a sentence. Even within my head, all I could exclaim was-
Fuck.
To help us both out of the situation, I played it cool. I wasn't cool.
"What about you?"
"hm?"
"What's your vegetable?"
She rubs her hands sluggishly, embracing her knees to her chest as the contents kept invading her space. She stared ahead.
"I am a potato"
I nod in respect.
"Why do you think you are a potato?"
My interviewing abilities skyrockets with her. I do ask her questions with an interest in knowing her more. Basics may be- but it's a start. But I know that I want to get there- a silent wish to know what caused her to break down this morning. Why was she here? Why did she want to get married to a stranger? Why is she-
Yes there were many whys
But I yearned to know why she thinks of herself to be a potato tonight? The rest could wait until she was comfortable.
"It's mostly a dish served by edge that no one notices until they want to enhance the taste of something that's utterly boring. Potato is never a main, but neither completely abandoned from the circle. It's just-there"
My grasp on the hilt squeezed, I had no head start to do any but uselessly confess-
"But I like a potato"
And she had the apt response for it.
"That's you being a carrot"
Half an hour into the stroll we were done- she stood next to me by the billing counter when I nudge her elbow with mine to alter her attention from staring at the small twelve by twelve decorative pillows to me.
"What's on ten?"
She frowns as if she couldn't get me. Did she take me for a fool? She shouldn't- I wouldn't let her. My aggressively sharp brow raise gains me a sigh from her. The clicks of the scanner reading the bar codes breaks through us in short whiles.
"You might have counted it wrong"
"I am bad at estimations. Not counting"
"I forgot what it was"
"Nothing truer has ever been said" then I blurt a fact that brought out the fraction of Shin I never saw- yet "You need me to complete them. So better hurry"
She chuckled, running a hand through her hair in disbelief. She was a feminist- I was one too. I am identified my mother's surname for a reason. It was a tribute. I knew it will influence Shin- but what I didn't perceive was impulsive outcome of it from her. She grabbed the pillow- the size of an infant and dumped it into the billing pile.
"I can get done with them in ten days If I want" she didn't even look at me- It was so much fun to watch her fume with fervor "I want to drive today" I don't think- with a smile I slip the key into her outstretched palm.
I may be- shouldn't have.
Twenty minutes later I was clutching my chest with my ears ringing with the siren from a cop's vehicle that was chasing us. We were speeding.
Shin was speeding.
And the terrifying aspect was her being happy about it. With my breathing forgotten and hands fastened on the dashboard- I kept navigating her. I had to clear my throat twice since it kept clogging because of how alarmed I was. she drove at residents pace we left- the streets were lighting up with the early night falling in. It went loyal until she brought her phone out to check the route with least traffic- and as soon as she spotted a cop on duty, the car ignited with an acceleration that threw us back.
I wasn't prepared.
She was.
So far it's been three minutes into the action and I was â undeniably enjoying whatever this was. On minute four she entered another avenue- slowing it down- then she stopped entirely.
Then she was crawling over the passenger seat, my seat. Over me.
"What are you doing?" I ask breathing. Heavily.
She faced me, fisting the material of my blazer and tugging it.
"Throw yourself at the driver's seat. I wanted the chase, but I can't go to prison"
The screech of another vehicle inverting surrounds us, there was no way we are getting out of this. So I responsibly ask-
"Why?"
She shoves me, in a reflex I vacate so she could take my spot. And I - was she throwing me under the bus?
"Don't worry. You are only there because you can't get pregnant"
With that she grabs the pillow she procured from the mart, shoving it inside her top she turns in time when we heard a knock by the window. I roll it down, the young official In uniform, aided with a Bluetooth headset leaned with a sturdy face to inspect me.
He opens his mouth when-
-A scream cuts through. It was shin- she had her hand placed above her enlarged cosplay of a belly while the other one masked her face. She doesn't stop there, as a falsetto she inserts a sob with another pitiful scream.
The horrified cop steps away, speaking into his mic-
"Sir it's a lady in labor"
He was probably heeded an order- because with a bow he motioned his arm frantically, imploring us to hurry.
I drive-
Half a minute into the road I look at her, she glimpsed between her fingers. She uncovers her face and removes the pillow, hugging it to her chest. With a relaxed smile, she closed her eyes resting her head on the pad.
I smile with her. A sense of calm washes over me as I refused to reject and deny something that I have been doing for a while.
An acceptance of the degree I was falling at. I know I was falling way faster than I could keep up.
Faster than I could catch my breath.
Faster than anything that had ever happened to me that was so beautiful.
So...huh? Lee is... I don't know.
IT'S YOU- HENRY