I got my first vaccine shot and experienced certain side effects of it. It took me two days to recover, still I wasn't feeling like doing much. Sorry for the delay in update. But here I am-
Missed you all.
Enjoy..and yeah don't forget to leave votes and thoughts. Hope life is good for y'all
P.s unedited.
LEE
The knife cuts through the skin shell, one sleek motion and it wilts through in middle- undressing the shrimp. The youtube tutorial suggested it to be done with light pressure. I don't think I have it in me, to be gentle with anything- one look at shin's lip, the red siren goes off inferring that I should keep my distance from her, It's a requirement so that I don't end up scaring her away. So I stood a collective six inches away from the tabletop counter where she sat on, her legs crossed and cozily tucked as she operated on a frozen shrimp.
I was hovering above her, for moral comfort as she administered the ingredients. The present image of a butchered sea creature proves to be the most adequate one to keep me from reimaging the kind of kiss that I didn't know I had it in me. Like a starved soul, that I undoubtedly was- had pounced on her the moment she dropped the curtain of courtesy that remarked that type of relationship we had.
The reign of what it actually meant registered with the trails of shiver she reacted with every little touch of mine. Not that I could put it into words of what I felt then, it was what I had never felt before. I was high, I was low. Her lips were cold and soft â warming up to mine until it almost was feverish in temperature. To the popular belief that I smile a lot that I do it for the sake of a disposition and identity, in the time of true ecstasy- I turn into this confusedly drenched excuse of a man that doesn't know how to keep his mouth in check.
Filter?
Do I know how it works?
With others it was different- the girls I dated in past were either older or were the same age as me. But shin- she was four good years younger to me. At that age, I don't think I knew what I wanted to do the next day with my life, let alone get on in a serious relationship with a said wife. Our charts were already a messed version in itself. Where we were two individuals in a legal marriage testing their take on dating.
I can't afford to race our journey like I usually do with things. If I wanted to run, I might just crawl instead. Because my face and bilingual ability were the only Korean thing about me. And yeah, the two-year military enlistment I completed for the last years counts the most. It probably was the addition among the reason why I had forgotten how fragile girls are. But I can't deny that shin's fragility was a tad bit on the amusing side. She was sensitive to the sun, to flowers, to touches that were overwhelming on her. She doesn't complain- but I try to be safe whenever I hold her, to make sure I am not leaving temporary marks on her. Even if it were only for a couple of minutes- I keep myself from being the cause of her discomfort.
Can't guarantee how long I will last though-
Because shin might be younger than me, but she has her priorities straight. Most of what she does or says are signs of maturity in itself. She may have had a standard Asian childhood, But she probably grew up with her own ideologies that made her different among all the other proposals I declined.
They were four girls I met prior to her. The awkward dinner silence was the common thing I made sure we had among us. Embellished and bandaged for the occasion they sat there with embarrassment that I caused them as they tried to shove a conversation down my throat. Again- they were older and some same as me. From reputed families and heritage backgrounds. I disliked what I had to do in order to secure my freedom. But I did it anyway.
A forced arranged marriage wasn't my scene.
But then she stumbled in with her peculiar nervous gestures and a tempting proposal. The same girl who months later managed a car chase and dodge a prison scene on her own was the one who probably waited outside the restaurant for half the hour to tame her anxiety when I first met her.
Which could say much for itself. I don't know much about her- not even a snippet of what she does about me. Much of my private life could be used as a textual subject in Korea with the amount of media attention we get. With my sister being a celebrity designer and my brother joining an agency to pursue his career as an idol was a bonus.
"This was easier than I thought" she blinks, soaring her spine as she marinated the shrimp with the canned sauce that she had brought along. Her synthetic gloved hands were red from spices when she moved her head to get the hair off her face, In an instant, I was there to hold it for her. "I think I get naturally good at whatever I do"
"I don't doubt it" fascinated I gather her hair, braiding it as best as I could into a bun. It was messy- but it did the job. I watched her confidence deflate the second I got near her. It was toxic to say I liked how vulnerable she gets around me- but since I knew the moment I hit a distraction, she'll be herself. Feisty, witty, and insanely sarcastic. She had been that way since we naively had decided to befriend each other. Her true colors began to incite the house with her presence.
"Mister Lee" she sighs, wiping her face with her forearms as I nod behind her back even though she can't see me "Is there any work you plan on doing or supervising the job Is all you want to do. You were the one who suggested we make the dinner at home tonight"
Instead of answering I hug her from behind,
Dinner at home? Those darn shrimps saved me from initiating another kiss that I had no control over, Bet I would have prompted it by the garage if I hadn't come up with the lie that I was hungry.
For poor shin, the said dinner was an armor she wasn't aware of.
"But I like watching you do it" I rest my chin on her shoulder, she squirms but held on to her customs. Her inner feminist won to our proximity as approximate of ten minutes later I was chopping onions with Shin examining me with swimming goggles on. I was given none. So I wiped my happy tears. She still sat at the table with a wide smile.
"I like watching you do this too" she cheerfully pats my shoulder in an act of encouragement "You are chopping them, right sweetie"
Sweetie.
Isn't that my choice of syllable to annoy her? So many elements were switching tonight, I could barely keep up with my thoughts and her. I stare at her through the peripheral . This wise, I was serious with my utterance.
"What made you change your mind?"
She plucks the spring greens from the basket-
"What change?" âplaying it dumb like always.
"You know what I mean?"
She takes off the gear once I slide the contents from my cutting boards to the previously steaming broth in the pan as shin asks me to. Once she fits the lid, I wait for her. The aroma from fresh and grounded herbs fills the kitchen- the three-step ramen was the final décor to the enticing flavor dancing In air.
But- I want her to answer first. I won't eat or let her eat until she answers me.
So once I plate the food for us both and refused to pass them to her so she could dive in with her anticipating chopstick- the curve of her lips falls in dejection.
"It's like you understand the code, but won't cooperate" with my eyes smugly closed I tap my chopstick by the ledge of the fine china. "I am interested to know why you accepted me today"
Compromising to the comfort of her seat, she shifts in them. Her cheeks dusting in pink as she threw me a quick glance.
"I realized that I was trying to fix a wall that wasn't even there" her lips forms an unconscious pout, her gaze falls to the deserted chopsticks "But who could have thought that the Lee I was attracted to would blackmail me with me with something as sacred as a food for-
I slide it to her before I could say or think of it. Or let her finish.
That little vixen knows how to use the card while I was here scraping on delusions.
A grin flourished, a complete natural one as she dug through the edibles. She gasped the moment she chewed on it.
"I am a fucking chef" she exclaimed, but choked the sooner she realized what she had said. The amused smile that I had wasn't new- in fact the first time her versatile vocabulary surprised me was in the escape room. It probably was the day when I stopped looking at her with a stereotype. "Forget I said that, expletives does not go well with my pretty face-" sipping on water she waves at me- it was hard to keep myself from fueling her blush further, but since I wanted her to savor her food in peace I nod in humor.
But when I took my bite in, I realized why she was so confident about it. It was fucking good.
"This-" I chew fast to get it out "This- is delicious"
Her excited giggles earn a soft chuckle from me. she brings her phone out to take a snap of the food. Then she scrolls through her screen, so I intervene to ask-
"What's your ID on Instagram?"
She breaks her contact from the mobile, dropping it by her side with quick ignoring glances.
"We should finish first- its getting cold," she thinks she dodged the progression. But I had my intentions tracked down. If not all- I will get her to open up with what she had consent with. So while we ate, we managed a two-fold conversation. Formal at the beginning since I got to know that she had once aspired to become a fashion modulator.
Now that she said it, I could sense the passion similar to what sera have in regards to style and setting. When sera got promoted to the position of director- it was one of the proudest movements for our family. One- because she chose to do whatever the hell she wanted to, and Two- the most annoyingly reckless elder daughter finally achieved a milestone that we secretly thought she would lose because of how temperamental and egoistic her attitude was.
But Shin- she looked and felt like someone that could belong there.
"Fabrics, colors, and how it's shaped tells a story too. The world of art is closely connected, it's just an artist's vision that brings it to life" with a shrug she removes her hands from the table, done with dinner. But not with talk.
"So why didn't you do it. Become one I mean" my curiosity wasn't harsh- I knew what I wanted my whole life, I lived and enjoyed every second of the days I was at it. I wish I could understand the why of her-
She plays with the rim of the glass with a smile, I don't take my eyes off her. I don't think I would desire to look anywhere else while she was there, breathtakingly gorgeous and subtly dressed in a comfy large shirt that barely covered her upper thighs.
Everyday struggles of a decent man.
"If I chased my dreams, I would have still given up after" she cuts through before I could join "I don't feel comfortable around people I don't know. It took me years to get to where I am here today, but working atmosphere especially in a place like that. I would have been eaten alive" a shrug and that easy smile attempted to soothe me. But it promoted my existing need-
I needed to know what happened for her to elevate such fears, But since it hasn't even been a night of us together. I hold in, placing it among the hundreds more I have- it wasn't easy though.
So we plunge into something different. And with shin and her power to just ignore the stressful previous episode in a minute, it wasn't a chore to forget mine with her. Another habit of her that makes her adorable.
A woman now, child the next.
"So you were in military for the last two years?" my shoulders procured in stance at how shocked she was about it, but then she goes on to add "No wonder your abs are so steely"
That was general praise in her tone. Glad I chose to do the service since I could have used my condition to pass the enlistment. I did it to get away from the scrutinizing radar of media- But who would've thought It could be something that would- well since I had scarred her with my creative innuendos so far, I let one slip this while too-
"Not that you know how it feels. I have never been touched by you"
Her gaze searched my face calmly. She took a sip from her wine.
"I know a good one when I see one" a salute is thrown my way with two of her fingers. She was tipsy, but sane. She was the balance of Shin that was not shy at the moment and regret later. She will excuse this in the morning so now I smile in with a brewing frustration.
It took me her statement to realize that she might have had relationships in past as well. Did he have abs too? Was it as good as mine? Did she touched-
"I should try punching you in the face"
I tilt my humble face in subject with the serenity she was executing, I have stopped reacting to her and bargained to settle with a welcoming smile. She drains me, in a good way. In a very good way.
"And why would that be?"
She was soon by my side, squinting as she fists her arm.
"I want to see how quick your reflexes are" she bats her lashes, silently asking for permission. This comes after I had admitted that I was a black belt holder in taekwondo. It wasn't a lie though- I could choke slam a giant Edmund if I want, I just don't do it.
Angling my jaw I nod-
"Go ahead"
Half an hour later- she wheezed grinning. It was the initial punch she had filed by my ribs after countless tries. When she failed to get five across, she begged me to teach her the basics. I wouldn't have accepted if it wasn't for her antics.
"I want to learn them for self-defense. Don't you want me to be safe and-
And yeah- that's how we ended up in the gaming room where the space was wide, and her shirt was off. She had a tank top underneath- though.
Conceiving that she wouldn't be able to hurt me for all the good reasons, I taught her the minor tricks which she used on me to double-check. Her excuse was, it had been a month since she hit her brother, which makes me wonder at the kind of sibling bond she has-
"oh about that- we sometimes end up in ER" she mumbles, though I sensed the sarcasm I still was paranoid, I regard her as she twisted her body in stance and high kicked into the air. Her hand to eye coordination was something to die for- literally. She is small, but fast. And with flexibility at her disposal, I doubt she lost a fight with her brother.
Which again was worrisome.
"What do you both fight about?" she heaves a breath, turning to me with her hair falling around her bare shoulder. A thin layer of sweat glistens by her neck as she nibbled on her lip-
"It's a long story" she offers.
"we've got time, don't we?" my brow arcs as I fall into the couch, sitting with my arm around the header. She nods shifting to get to the shirt- I pull her to my lap in the immediate junction. A soft gasp leaves her as I fasten her to me. My arm locked by her waist as she stared with her big doe eyes. Despite the struggle to get my breathing in check, I assure her-
"Don't worry. I won't do anything" recognizing my own voice became a mystery, too low, too deep. I don't know what I was saying or was frantic to say- but I draw back the silky strands of her hair that framed half of her face with my thumb. The feel of her on me was enough for me, as for the transfixed gaze I had her pinned with- I don't know how long I did it until I used my voice again. "I-I just want to know your story. Nothing else"
It's her who tears her eyes from me. as always. A smile follows me as she blinks in a haze. Not as confident as before was she?
But she speaks, narrates doing her best to decapitate the tension in the room. The room which once housed LAN and gaming streams with a batches of hormonal dudes under its roof, now hosted two people who were in deep denial of the palpitating emotions. But it was better this way. I can't afford to rush and nor to trigger her with it. Heck, I don't think it ever was a physical attraction that led me to this. She was more than that, way more intense and real.
Because I was learning her- with each word she spoke, I found them sinking into me. I was memorizing every little detail that came with her- her likes, dislikes, views, and aspirations. I liked everything about it, her smile, her laugh, her clueless scowls, her cunning remarks, her quirky digs, and the fact that she could pack a punch. And when invested in her talks- I realized why,
"We were taught to save the pocket money given to us for anything said luxury we wanted to buy. My parents raised me and Hwan like any other average household. We do our own laundry, make our bed, buy stuffs with our savings. But as soon as I turned eighteen and my allowance got expanded-" she sighs in dramatic despair "Hwan had to snoop in. He would take just about anything from me without asking. So that's how our house mostly began to resemble a war ruin. Even now- I bet he is in my room instead of his, he likes my gaming set up and I also believe he is using my Nintendo switch-
"Wait" I raise my hand sitting straighter-
"What?" perplexed she asks scanning her surrounding. But it was her again.
"You play?"
Slowly she turns to throw me a sweet- sweet smile.
"What do you think I do here when you are gone?" she gestures her index, circling at the parlor top.
A crack of code, we knew what it meant. As an avid gamer- the challenge was hot on heels and couple of hours later we were on the floor with me attempting to not break the controller into two and her collecting my misery with a cheeky smile and occasional chicken flap dance. It was her victory move.
"I am so polite" she muses with a hand to her heart If it were anyone else, they'd be rubbing it on their opponents face" she leans, she had her maroon shirt on. she must've sneaked into it when I was getting my ass kicked by her. She was a pro gamer- someone my older mates from tracks will worship if they'd ever know of her. Not that I'll ever let that happen.
"Why is there a pole here?"
She leans her side by the pole, the ceiling to floor pillar that was there for decorative purpose. But it was indeed an odd placement.
"I question that since day one" Imitating her, I side with the foot of the couch. The energy running low from all that happened tonight. But still as an afterthought, I add "You can dance on it. Flexible ones have it easy don't they?"
She covers her fluster with a snort.
"It's a curse too. I end up kicking myself sometimes"
What was this girl?
I don't know. because then she winked at me-
"You want me to dance for you?" she says simultaneously inspecting the pole for strength. I sat there gaping with useless air that came out of my mouth, she grinned back with mischief "But you have to work more on that, I have to like you a little more for me to put on a show for you"
Pursing my lips I rig my jaws to let her have her moment.
"So you like me less now?" I draw out, craning my neck to stare at the higher ceiling from where I could spot the entrance of our room by floor one.
"If I did, I wouldn't have been loving every bit of conversation that we have once you are asleep"
A part of my soul leaves me, I close my eyes with a smile. I have been waiting for this-
"What did I do?" I ask with a tilt, the cold blue light from the still monitor casts a glow on her as stifles her smile in.
"That's a secret between and my sleeping beauty. Can't share" her lids droops as the day's fatigue gets to her, a tiny yawn follows my observation. I call her over-
"Come here"
"What?" she blinks her sleep-induced gaze as I motion at my lap.
"Sleep"
Hesitant at first, she does crawl over and snuggled once in. With her head on my lap I comb her hair gently until she dozed off, which was in less then a minute . For the rest half of the hour, I was on the phone flipping through the mails and sorting out what needed to be cleared before we leave for the island tomorrow. Once done I carried her to our room.
She was angelic even when she wasn't doing anything.
I take the couch with no sleep on near sight. Not when I had a million thoughts scattered around. Not simple when most of them suddenly seem to welcome Shin in them. With how dangerously fast it was changing for me- I only feared a reality where I might crash into a dead end.
Only if I had known that it was real.
Not my emotions. But the fear.
Phew!
You know the drill guys.
Tell me how it was- I can stir up.the early chaptersð