Chapter Two
"Naam hi mat lo mera. Pati ka naam nahi lete waise bhi."
⧠P R E E T â§
"Meet my husband"
"Heinnnnnn?" I looked at Deven upon hearing this in my ear and felt his confused gaze on me along with a smile. Why did I think that he'd tag along with my acting without asking him to?
Thank god at least he didn't say it out loud.
"Do you even know him, Preet?" Neava whispered in my other ear and I just passed her a nod.
"I missed you too, Hubby," I said loud enough for everyone to hear and went forward to hug him. Because of his height, I had to raise myself on my toes so that I could reach his ears and tell him to act alone.
Or else my head will lay his chest in the name of a hug.
"Humari shaadi hogayi hai?" He asked and for some reason, he sounded a little too happy.
[We are married?]
"Ji nahi. But Play Along, please." He nodded and I broke the hug once again entangling my hand in his.
[No.]
"So, this is my husband, Deven..." What was his last name?
"Mehrotra." He completed it when it took me too long to speak.
"Humare yaha pati ka surname nahi lete." I waved my hand in the air dismissively and tried to act all shy, glancing at Deven I found a horrified look on his face. I looked at Aniketh and his mom who were looking at me with an equally weird expression. And Neava looked like she was just done.
[We don't take our husband's surname.]
"Yeah, she's my husband." Now all eyes were on him who just said these words out loud.
"No, I'm her wife." I opened my mouth to speak something but ended up gulping. It took Deven long to frame the sentences in his head and then he said.
Galat pati choose karliya maine.
[I chose the wrong husband.]
"I'm her husband. She is my wife." This time he spelled each word properly with a gap of one second.
"Introduce them to me, Wifey." I had this urge to roll my eyes at the last word but I'll let it go since I started this cringe shit by calling him Hubby.
"This is Aniketh, you know about him-" He totally doesn't "and that's his mother."
"Ohh. Finally got to meet you, Aniketh. I've heard a lot about you from my wife. You are a very nice man-" I nudged his shoulder which made him look at me. I shook my head with the sweetest smile present on my face.
"He's not?" Deven whispered. "Stay away from my wife, Aniketh. The next time I see you-"
Once again I nudged him and he glanced at me with a helpless look. Who asked him to add these sentences on his own? Just act like a good husband, nod at my every sentence.
Lekin chale ye bhai sahab hero banner.
[But there he is acting like he's the hero.]
"You guys are lying," Aniketh said, his eyes carrying some rage within them.
"We are not. I can show you the marriage certificate if you want." I said, confidently. Because of my confidence, he would just believe me and won't ask-
"Show me."
"Popat," Deven mumbled under his breath but I heard him and glared at him.
"I don't go carrying around my marriage certificate. I'll send you the pdf." I replied and when my eyes fell on Neava, I continued. "And she is the living proof of our holy bond of love. She was so happy when we got married because he is like her brother-" Neava interrupted me.
"He is like my b-brother?" She gulped at my glare and sang softly. "Tuta hua saaz hu main-"
I was more than pissed off. I should have thought ten times before choosing the characters of my script. They seem to be some crackheads who can't follow the script.
"Preet, do you consider me dumb?" Aniketh asked me.
"Yes."
I answered honestly and later had to cover up for it, "And it's only because you are not ready to accept the fact that I'm married now, Aniketh. This might seem like an act right now but it's as real as my kukoo, my pet."
I don't have one.
"Yes, I had to give in all my savings to buy them gifts for their wedding. It's as real as that." Neava joined me.
She doesn't have any savings.
"Why did you not tell me that you were married already?" He asked. I kind of feel bad for fooling him like this, especially because of the expression on his face right now.
"We were keeping it a secret because of our reasons. None of our family knows about this. And please, I request you to not tell this to them either. Our marriage was very quick and sudden." I replied. I hope he doesn't because my mother wouldn't hesitate to feed mine and Deven's remnants to the crow.
"Okay. When did you guys get married?" He asked. I'm so happy that these both cartoons are not opening their mouth.
"Tujhe kya?" My pretend husband is very rude.
[Why do you care?]
"Three days ago," I replied.
"But you said it was three months ago?" Aniketh argued.
"Did I?" Oh fuck, I did mention it. "You heard it wrong, It's been only three days."
"72 hours. And some thousands of minutes holding the honour and title of her husband." Deven added and looked at me, fake-lovingly.
Aunty is probably so quiet because everything right now is going full off-script. Aniketh didn't tell her what to do when this happened.
"I don't believe you guys," Aniketh announced.
"Pucha kisine?" So fucking rude but I love it.
[Who asked?]
"Chal yaha se, Aniketh. Bohat beizzati hogayi hai already." Aunty finally spoke and held Aniketh's hand.
[Let's go, Aniketh. They have insulted us enough.]
"And I never liked you anyways, Geet." She confessed and I scowled. I knew it already.
"Mom-" Aniketh argued.
"Chup chap chal, Aniketh." She yelled this time and dragged his hand. I somewhere feel bad for doing this to him, the small part of me which remembers the fact that we were in love.
[Shut up and come with me, Aniketh.]
I watched both of my leaving my sight and my head fell.
"Aab madam ko guilt hoga ki ye aisa nahi karna chahiye tha, usko bhi bura laga hoga-" Neava started her record.
[Now ma'am will feel guilty that she shouldn't have done this, he'll feel bad too.]
"Why was I her husband a few minutes back? Who was that guy and why was he going all FBI? Why were we lying to him? Was I too rude to him? Was he a good guy or a bad one? How did-" Deven cut her off and started his list of questions. Getting irritated by him, I snatched the paper from his hand and crumbling it into a ball, stuffed it in his mouth lightly.
"He speaks more than me, Preet," Neava said still in shock.
"That was straight away abuse, Preet," Deven said removing the paper from his mouth. I offered him water after removing it from my purse which has two seventy-nine other things.
"Guys, I feel bad." I pouted and switched my gaze between the two of them.
"She'll continue this and repeat this a thousand times over now, ignore her. I'm Neava Pipadiya, well Gujrati surnames are very weird, I know but this is what my ancestors gave me instead of some crores of property so I have to accept it wholeheartedly." I gasped and looked at her with my mouth hung open.
"I'm Deven Mehrotra. And I understand, I was raised around Gujrati people too, their food is better than the surnames, especially that yellow Dhokhla, it's love." My head turned towards Deven now.
"Guys I'm regretting this-" I started but she continued pretending I never spoke anything.
"It's Khaman Dhokla. And yes I love it as well. There's one shop here that sells proper desi Khaman, we'll go there sometime." Deven nodded at her words with a huge grin.
I feel so left out.
Without speaking another word, I started walking away till I felt a strong grip on my wrist. I turned around to find Deven in front of me.
"Wait."
"Why? You guys continue your chit-chat about Gujarati food." I love it as well but this is not the right time. We have a bigger problem. "Also Nivea, you have your job in like ten minutes. You know what happens when you get late."
"Oh shit. Is it six already? I'll take your leave Deven and we'll go to the shop some day. We are going to keep meeting each other as you are her husband now. Give her one smack on her head if she says that she regrets being so rude on my behalf. Bye bye " Neava hurriedly rushed, tripping on absolutely nothing, bumping two strangers in her way.
"Bye, Pipadiya." Deven waved her and then turned towards me "So what was all this mess?"
"Let's go sit somewhere and talk about this. I'm very hungry." We walked to the nearby cafe Deven said he knew. Finding a table after waiting for five minutes, we sat across from each other.
Why did I even create this mess?
I regret doing everything. And this is my constant action, I do something and then I regret everything for the next hour. I should have just thought twice before pulling this stunt.
I texted Lara telling her to fill in my work today as I won't be coming.
"Okay, so first of all, I'm so sorry about all this Deven Bhaiya-" my voice trailed off when my eyes fell on him joining his hands in front of me.
"Abh toh bhaiya bulana band kardo yaar."
[At least stop addressing me as your brother now.]
I used to call him Bhaiya even though he told me not too, many times. Well Abhinav is my brother and him being his best friend makes him my brother as well.
"You just announced me as your husband fifteen minutes back, and now you calling me bhaiya doesn't make any sense. So I have a name, use that."
Okay. Etna bhadakne wali kya baat thi?
[What made him so angry in this?]
"Okay. So Deven, that sounds so awkward to say out loud. Bhaiya is better na. While performing too it was so ajeeb to call you that." I whined. I've been habitual to calling him that for years now.
[Weird.]
"Naam hi mat lo mera. Pati ka naam nahi lete waise bhi." I frowned and kept staring at him.
[Don't take my name then. You don't call your husbands by their name.]
"Aap pati nahi ho mere."Â I shrugged getting slightly irritated by his words.
[You're not my husband.]
"Pati hai aapka?" He asked raising his one eyebrow.
[Do you have a husband?]
"Hota toh aapko kyu banati?" I countered.
[If I had then why would make you?]
"Good point."
"Leave all this, So the point is, thank you for being so supportive.." and messing things up by saying anything on the stage.
I'm her wife. She's my husband.
"Why did you lie? And especially to that boy who looked like he wouldn't even hurt a fly? I couldn't even ask if he was harassing you, he looks that innocent." He said and I bit my inner cheek.
I feel more guilty now.
I explained him the whole situation and he kept a finger on his chin, thinking about it while I waited for him to say something.
"This was just one time thing, I believe he won't come to me again if he has some self respect. So you wouldn't be involved in this again." I added further.
"If he troubles you again just tell him to deal with your husband. I'll handle him." I rolled my eyes at his statement
"You're not my husband." I replied.
"Sure, wifey." He winked and I maintained my poker face. "Just kidding, haan."
"I know. Please don't tell Abhinav Bhai about this." I swear I'll die if he does.
"I won't." He replied and I sighed in relief.
"Even Sahil and Vivian bhai. They shouldn't know as well." I added.
Sahil and Vivian are both my cousin brothers but because we have spent our teenage years together, they are just like my own brothers.
"Done."
"Ananya bhabhi too." I added and this time he made a face.
Ananya bhabhi is his best friend as well. And if she knows then Sahil bhai knows this for sure. Both husband and wife don't know how to keep something a secret from each other.
"Aye, not her. I'll have to tell her, she won't tell anyone." I shook my head.
"She will. Keep this a secret between both of us, pretty please?" I had a very helpless expression on my face right now.
"Okay, wifey."
He's too much into his character now.
"Also feel free to give me a call if he comes troubling you again. I'll make a grand entry with my awesome acting." I rolled my eyes again.
"You love rolling your eyes or what?" He asked, raising his one eyebrow.
"You keep saying stuff like that."
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