Watching him stand at the other end of the set, her breath knocked out of her throat and her hands failed to hold the coffee cup anymore. It was becoming impossible to sit and let her team paint her face for the final touch-up that was required before she dived into the set of scripts and perform in front of the people and him.
Thanks to the empty plastic chair, she placed the cup hurriedly and ducked her head to avoid his eyes, but only if she could. She watched him walking towards her and she felt parched, her throat screaming for some water.
"Uttara mam" She jerked at the call "Are you okay? You look pale."
Uttara nodded practicing a small smile. The lady looked worriedly at her as all her efforts seemed to go in vain as her face lost its color in seconds.
"Can you get me some water?" She stuttered to her make-up artist who nodded in seconds. She realized that she was alone now and she cursed herself for sending her last resort away for something this lame. She would rather stay thirsty than in his company.
"Are you not drinking this?" She was snapped to the front as she watched him sitting on the empty chair and her cup now in his hands.
"W-what are you doing here?" She was supposed to be unaffected, yet here she was, losing control of her words.
"I was in the area." Her husband, whom she had avoided for the past few days, shrugged sipping into her drink. He hummed "Not bad."
"Vidyut" She took his name warning and he cocked a brow at her, waiting for her to continue. "This is my shoot location. You shouldn't be here."
"If I have never been here, that does not mean I cannot come." He stated and shot a quick smile to her make-up artist who returned with a glass of water for her. "Thank you for taking care of my wife."
He was too smart for his own good. Damn, doctor.
"I am glad you are keeping yourself hydrated." He pointed and continued sipping on her coffee cup, glancing at his wristwatch. "Nidhi said you finish in half an hour. Be quick. We have to go home for dinner. Mom called."
"It will take some time." Uttara nodded distastefully, mentally preparing herself to have a word with her manager who seemed to be working for her husband.
"I will wait."
True to his words, he waited patiently as the half-an-hour stretched more and she completed the scenes allotted for the day. Her crew wrapped the shots and the director waved her off being done for the day.
She could feel her muscles aching due to continuous standing and the evening sun had drained her of any energy left.
She walked towards the vanity.
"Nidhi" She called her manager and gestured towards her husband who was drowned in his world of work emails on his phone, as always.
Understanding her at once, her manager quickened her pace towards him and passed her message.
His eyes met hers and she averted her gaze walking inside the cabin allotted to her.
Taking a quick breather, she denied herself to pop onto the adjacent couch and hurried towards the in-built washroom to change and get rid of the makeup and hair spray. She wiped her face and stood leaning against the sink as the water dropped down her hair, passing through her nape and seeping into the plain t-shirt with its brand logo on her chest she had come wearing today morning.
It was a paid partnership and she had to flaunt the brand in every picture she gets clicked for this entire week with active social media stories.
A knock reverberated in the small bathroom and she jumped on her place.
"Yes?" She called out in response without opening the door as she wiped her face with the small hand towel.
"Open the door, Uttara." His voice was light yet it dropped her stomach to an endless pit.
Tentatively she turned the knob and peaked out. She watched him leaning against the opposite wall with a packet in his hand.
"Wear this. I got clothes for you." He forwarded the bag and she was quick to snatch it from him.
She checked the contents and frowned. "It is a saree."
He hummed straightening, as the following words seemed complicated for him to utter. "Family dinner."
"Thank you." She whispered hesitating. "Can you...um step out? I cannot wear it inside."
He watched her silently, unmoving.
"Vidyut, please?" She urged and he passed her a negligible nod.
"I will wait for you in the car. 15 minutes, not more than that." He warned.
She killed the urge to scowl and agreed as his eyes rested on her face for a long second before she heard the door shut.
Rolling her eyes, she stepped out and laid the contents of the bag out. It was a simple red georgette saree with an embroidered navy-blue long-sleeve blouse. She checked the contents as everything she would need was meticulously placed in it.
Neatly ironed underskirt, a bunch of pins, two sets of earrings from her collection for her to choose from, metal bangles, and her watch which she always wore with traditional wear. Her low red heels and wallet-style clutch will go perfectly with her clothes.
The details were immaculate.
Checking the time on her phone, she hurried and adorned the saree and kept the accessories to be worn in the car as she applied a layer of foundation, some blush, eyeliner, and a precise layer of lipstick to match her clothes.
She dumped her old clothes neatly in the bag with the same brand logo and filled her wallet with jewelry.
Taking one last look in the mirror she stepped out and earned appreciative stares from the crew. The presence of camera flashes made her walk faster toward the car where he stood outside.
Her heels clicked and he looked up almost immediately. His unwavering stare burned her skin as she stopped near him.
"Let us go." She whispered, eyes scanning the place for any cameras catching her movements.
He hummed and guided her to the passenger seat, his palm burned her bare waist, making her lose her breath at the contact. "Let them watch. You will be fine." He whispered in her ears and she could breathe again.
He took his own time to walk towards the driver's side and sit inside the car. Maneuvering the steering, he reversed the car and she slumped into her seat as they exited the sets.
"What are you nervous about?" He asked with furrowed brows, eyes oscillating between her and the road and stopping at a traffic light.
"I am not nervous." She played with her earrings, wincing as it pierced her finger.
"Is it fear? Come here." His touch froze her as his fingers hijacked her jewel piece and pulled her towards him as he looped it into the hole properly. "Turn that side."
"What?" She asked shocked. "No!"
He glared at her latency and turned her chin to the other side, hurrying as the last seconds counted. He was quick to latch them and fix them properly as if trained with them. Turning his focus back to the road he watched her frozen in her seat. "Do you need my help with bangles too?"
She snapped out and fervently shook her head. "Of course, not!"
Her fingers held the bangles but dropped them on her lap and had an almost whiplash as she heard his chuckles echoing in the silent car.
"You could have fooled me." He remarked with a lopsided tilt of his lips.
She gaped as he glanced at her in amusement, a smirk playing on his lips as he looked between her fallen bangles and her face which soon twisted into a scowl as she realized herself as the reason for his amusement.
"I can do it myself." She declared and angrily wore them.
"Good that I opted for metallics instead of glass ones." He mumbled watching her and focused on his driving.
"Why did you come to the sets unannounced?" She questioned fixing the lock of her watch.
"Nidhi was aware." He defended himself.
"But I wasn't." She was complaining. "You could have dropped me a text or a call. You should have told me."
"You have been ignoring me." He gritted silently. "You wouldn't have received my calls."
"I would have." She defended "I never ignore your calls even when I am busy. I have kept you above all. Work too."
"Do you still?" He asked and waited with bated breath for her to answer. "Do I still hold that place in your life?"
She looked away at the question, she couldn't answer him. "I won't give it to you now."
"Are you lying?" He asked and she fisted her fingers, his voice sounded rueful. "You are."
She was lying.
How could you stop loving someone immediately? One day you were in love and the next day you aren't.
That is impossible.
You can act but you cannot unlove someone instantly. It takes months if not years. It was a time-taking, heart-breaking, and mind-boggling process.
You can fall in love at first sight but never fall out at last.
And how can she unlove a man like him? He had taken days to settle in her life but she would require births to forget him.
One lifetime wasn't enough.
"You said I am not your favorite person anymore. Did you mean it?" He voiced out. He was chatting for a change and Uttara was silent. They had reversed their roles it seemed.
She gulped "I don't remember saying that."
He nodded slowly "Then, you don't mean it."
"Does it matter to you?" She asked him, eyes throwing daggers at him.
He glanced at her and her glare vanished, "Yes, it does. A lot of it."
His words triggered moisture in her eyes. The night of the award show came crashing back into her memories, his gestures in front of the media, the playfulness in his tone on the red carpet, and his façade pulled off the moment they were alone.
A responsibility, she was just that to him and idiot her. She fell in love with him like a fool.
Falling for a man who had no intentions to reciprocate.
One-sided love looked mesmerizing only in books and movies. In real life, it was a knife stabbed in her chest, too deep to be removed or operated on.
"Why?" She whispered as a tear rolled down her eyes.
"What why?" His grip tightened on the steering, brows furrowing together as he blared the horn to block out any words from her. He dreaded her answer.
"Why can you not love me?" She whispered, "Is it that difficult? I promise to never do anything you don't want, I will be what you want but please, Vidyut. Don't break me like this."
"You shouldn't beg someone for love, Uttara." He looked at her with a mask of blankness, squeezing his eyes shut in hopes of it maybe stopping him from saying something he could not.
"I will, if there is a chance, even 1% of it. I am ready to beg." She wiped her face harshly, turning towards him she let him her at her most vulnerable point. She let her break naked for him to watch. "Every night I lay on that bed with you within my reach, I imagine you hold me closer, telling me that I am loveable, tell me that I can be precious to someone too. Do you know how I yearn for you to look at me for once? Like actually look at me like a woman and not like a roommate you are forced to share your space with. You claim to be my husband but I have always been a responsibility to you and it bloody hurts me. I know I am pathetic to fall in love with you when you let your actions speak what I meant to you. I know..." Her voice broke yet she gulped and exhaled loudly "You consider me nothing yet you are my everything, Vidyut."
"Stop it." He rasped biting his inner cheeks, averting his eyes. "You need to stop declaring your love for me. I am not capable of reciprocating it, damnit! Not you or anyone. I don't have it in me."
"No, you are lying." She shook her head "You love your work...you love your coffee, your phone, your files, that hospital, and even your pillow. Can you not love me like a thing? I am ready to be like that..."
"Shut up, Tara." He thundered, slamming on his car breaks. He yanked her with her upper arm and brought her closer to him. "Stop reducing yourself to this level. You don't deserve it!"
"I don't deserve your love. What could be worst?" She shrugged out of his hold exhaling shakily, her nails piercing her palms as she tried unzipping her bag. "I look pathetic, no? I shouldn't have cried. You should drive slowly, I will fix my face, and don't..." She hiccupped "Don't worry I will be fine. I will accept all this and be okay someday. I will come to terms with the fact that I am a difficult person to love. It is hard to love me back and you are right..." she stammered struggling with the wet wipes to clear her eyes, hands shaking as winced as her nail poked in her skin, she checked herself in the side mirror. "I am a mess. I will have to redo myself."
Her shaky smile choked him, he wanted to look away yet her broken eyes stirred a tsunami of restlessness in him.
"Tara." He called her slowly but she never looked at him as she fisted her fingers to stable her hold on the wipe, rubbing the tear stain harshly. "Stop hurting yourself."
"Start driving. We are late." She ignored his call and hiccupped again. The sob was locked in her throat and she couldn't let it out nor gulp it down
He closed his eyes as the moment seeped into his bones, he had managed to hurt her again. This strike had successfully crushed her into shreds. Before, he had hurt her with words but this time, he had broken beyond repair.
He sat still, unable to start the car as the soft breaths calmed and her fingers stopped shaking. She had dropped the bottle again and groaned in frustration.
"Start driving. Will you?" She demanded.
His glare burned her skin and his fingers crawled to her arm, making her snap towards her. "Look at me."
Her eyes betrayed his command and he snapped the seat belt, leaning towards her as he gently wiped her eyes, his skin caressed the corners of her eyes as they fluttered shut. "You should never beg for love. Not me, not anyone."
She bobbed her head robotically.
"You are not a mess." He unlocked her belt and he pulled her towards him as he gently tucked her hair behind her ears. "We can go home, you can take your time to get ready and then we can go or we can give a raincheck. Dinner is not important."
"So am I." She whispered opening her eyes, the black pools that spoke volumes were empty, as if the tales hidden in them have dropped out with her tears.
"You are wrong, and you have been all this time." He shook his head. "You are important to me. More than you realize."
"But you don't love me." She stated, placing her palm on his as he cupped her face.
"I cannot love, Tara." He gave up, touching her forehead with his. "I don't know how to."
"I can teach you." She offered cupping his face. "I will teach you everything, just promise that you will try. Once, please, Vidyut."
"This is the last time you beg." He kissed her palm and parted "Teach me all you can and I promise to try."
"You will?" The hope was back in her heart.
"Yes" His eyes held hers "I will. Only for you."
â â â â
For the millionth time, Anirudh glanced toward the main door, he was done earning disappointing looks from his mother for a mistake he never committed.
"Your wife is not home yet," Rashi remarked with a distasteful glare toward him.
"I am trying to establish contact with her, Ma." He sighed, dialing her again. "Her phone is unreachable."
"As always." She scoffed, masking her features back quickly to not strain her perfect wrinkle-free skin. "She is never on time when it comes to her fulfilling her duties for the house. She is your wife, why she never remembers that?"
"She fulfills all her duties, Ma." He defended gritting the last word. "She tirelessly ensured the arrangements for this dinner from the morning. It was an emergency at the orphanage therefore, she left."
"I thought you didn't like her," Rashi commented cocking a questioning brow to which he averted his eyes.
"I am stating the facts." He grumbled and left towards the main gate. Standing near her and waiting for Dhwani was getting on his nerves.
'The number you are trying to reach is currently unreachable. Please try again later.'
"Where the fuck you are, Petal?" He gritted, clutching the phone in his hand he scrolled through the call logs to search for anyone, someone who could help him reach his wife. He stopped at Dishant and dialed him. It rang twice.
"Hello, Sir?"
"Forget about me." He barked "Find my wife in the next 15 minutes and tell her to get back home now."
"What? Who?" He gasped in surprise.
"How many wives do I have?" He gritted sarcastically. "Dhwani Chauhan, Dishant or do you know anyone else who goes proclaiming to be my better half? My own wife does not go announcing her identity if you have noticed."
"I am sorry, Sir." He stammered.
"Be anything you want to be after you bring her back home." He ordered. "Be here with Dhwani in 30 minutes or forget that you had a job to begin with. Am I clear?"
Before Dishant could reply, the call was disconnected by Anirudh. He pinched the bridge on his nose and leaned his head against the pillar.
"Bhai?"
He straightened at once and snapped towards the source of the voice. He blinked registering the car parked near the side and stared at his brother in surprise. "How come I didn't hear you coming?"
"New car with better technology." Vidyut shrugged smugly.
"Show-off." Anirudh rolled his eyes and looked past him at his wife who stood with a happy grin on her lips. This girl was always excited to come back home. "Hey, Uttara. How are you?"
"I am great, Bhai." She grinned "Where is Bhabhi?"
Anirudh's mood dampened. "Your Bhabhi should be home soon."
"Is she not here?" Vidyut cocked a brow and Uttara nodded supporting the question.
He swallowed smiling "She had an emergency at the orphanage. She left three hours back."
"Have you called her?" Uttara frowned. "Is everything okay?"
'The number you are trying to reach is currently unreachable. Please try again later.'
They heard the words as Anirudh dialed her and left it on speaker.
"I have been trying to call her for the past hour now." He rubbed his temple. "This girl is giving me headaches along with Ma."
"I am sorry, brother." Vidyut shared a knowing sympathetic look with him. "I know Mom."
"Tell me about it," Anirudh grumbled and Vidyut patted his back.
"Why not call someone from the orphanage?" Uttara suggested silently witnessing two brothers who looked carefree outside the house but when they step into the mansion, they will act like two strangers who would be cordial.
No knowing smirks, looks, or jokes were exchanged between these brothers but leave them alone and they wouldn't shut their mouths for a second.
Anirudh looked at her with an energized glint. "Do you have a contact?"
"It depends if Bhabhi is at the same one." Uttara shrugged and offered her phone to him. "I had volunteered at two so have their contact numbers."
"You are life saver, Uttara." He gushed and copied the number going away to call. The call rang for four rings before someone received it. "Hello?"
"Yes?" Came the annoyed voice from the other side.
"Anirudh Chauhan this side." He stated and the change of energy was instant.
"Yes...Yes, Sir." The respondent stammered.
"My wife, Dhwani, is she there?" He asked.
"Dhwani mam, she...she left sometime back, Sir." He said and seemed to be sweating.
He hummed and narrowed his eyes into nothingness "What was the emergency?"
"That, Sir...It is..."
Anirudh could hear shuffling from the other end and his senses heightened. His jaw clenched upon hearing the stammers. "What is it?"
"Sir..."
The main gates parted and a cab entered catching all his attention. He could make out the silhouette of the woman he called his wife.
"Save it." He mumbled and hung up.
His legs took him towards her as the cab came to a halt.
She stepped down and searched her bag with unstable moments.
He narrowed his eyes watching her faltering hands, ruffled hair, and pale face. He grabbed her arm facing her towards him and gestured to the gatekeeper to get the cab leaving.
"What are you...?" She gaped and watched the driver being paid as he drove away. Her fingers clutched onto the bills she dug from her bag.
"Where have you been?" He questioned her, eyes darting on her face. Taking into her tired eyes and constant frown on her forehead laced with sweat beads. "What happened and why your phone is unreachable? I have been going crazy trying to call you."
"It is out of battery." She blinked as the fatigue laced her movements while she shrugged out of his hold. "It is complicated. I will tell you once the dinner is done. I will need your help for it anyway."
"Okay." He gave in. "Get freshen up and change. Ma is going to be difficult."
His warning had her frown further and he sighed seeing the creases on her forehead. Rashi Chauhan will have a heart attack seeing them.
"Stop frowning, Petal. You are still young." He remarked with amusement.
She stared at him deadpanning but blinked in assurance. "It has been a long day."
"Are you okay?" He asked watching her rubbing her palms, her steps were heavy and the puff of breath she was gasping and inhaling was alarming.
"Tired." She replied. "Are you done with the interrogation?"
He nodded eating back the scowl. "You are in a crappy mood."
"And it is a crime?" She cocked scoffing as they neared the entrance of the house. "You seem to be happy today for that matter."
"Is it a crime?" He repeated. He was enjoying getting on her nerves as a payback for his suffering for the last hour.
Dhwani glared at him and stared at him quietly. Her eyes searched his face. "You are pissing me off."
"That's something new I am learning about you." He retorted with a straight face. "Your glares, your scowls, your tired eyes challenging me to keep annoying you so that I can see the real you. Not this simple, quiet girl who speaks less and ignore more."
"There is nothing to know about me." She lied, hurrying towards the stairs to avoid him and his mother who she could hear in the dining area conversing with her other sons.
"Wrong." He pointed to her with eyes. "There is so much I want to know about you. Like how you look when you are angry. The type of your anger. Is it silent or ends up with you yelling and smashing things around? How do you act when you are upset? Do you cry or stop eating? Or do you sit in a corner and weep silently or roam around with a long face? I want to know how you celebrate your achievements. Do you dance around or grin and keep staring at the reward? There are phases to all of us and I wish to see all of yours."
"Why?" Dhwani staggered on the stairs, she looked above her shoulders at him who followed her closely. "You and I have less time together. We might never meet again after our divorce."
His jaw slacked and he searched for a crack in her face as she talked about the D-word. "All the more reasons for me to know the woman I married. Less time and more work."
She stood formulating words, staring at him quizzically.
"Hurry up, Dhwani." He ushered her to turn and move "We have enough time to talk later."
"We don't." She stated with a faltering voice.
He smirked at the victory of finding the dent in her resolve. "We will see to that."