"We already knew that you can drink human blood from blood bags without falling into a hunting frenzy," Carlisle described the current situation in a calm but urgent voice. "What is truly interesting is your reaction to living humans. Because animals also seem to have no effect on you. Otherwise, that would have been noticed in the woods long ago." His words hung in the air, heavy and meaningful, and I felt a lump forming in my throat.
I swallowed nervously, my thoughts swirling like a storm. Carlisle had summarized the problem well, but the question remained: Where would he find a human for me to practice on? After all, I couldn't just go downtown for testing. The thought of it made my stomach tighten, and I felt a discomfort that took my breath away.
Suddenly, a wave of relaxation washed over me, breaking through my thoughts like a warm ray of sunshine. A brief moment of confusion followed until I heard the voices of the others from downstairs. They had apparently returned from school, and I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't heard the cars or the creaking front door.
"Thank you, Jasper. I needed that," I murmured, seemingly to myself. In that moment, I felt another wave of relaxation envelop me like a gentle embrace. I smiled involuntarily; the Cullens had truly become dear to me, more than I had ever thought possible.
Carlisle and I decided to join the others in the living room and share our conversation with them. As we entered, I was greeted by a feeling of safety. The Cullens were more than just family; they were my support, my protection.
"How long can you actually hold your breath?" Emmett's voice sounded amused, and I raised my eyebrows in question. His words confused me, and he must have seen that, because he quickly added, "When I used to have trouble with the smell of human blood, I just held my breath. No breathing, no smell, no hunting instinct." That sounded logical, but at the same time, it felt like a simple solution to a complicated problem.
But then Jasper chimed in, saying with a thoughtful expression, "And then there's the heartbeat and the rush of blood, Emmett. But the idea is still a start." I let my shoulders drop as I realized it was probably much more complicated than I had hoped. "She hears worse than we do. So that might not be a problem," Emmett added condescendingly, sticking his tongue out at Jasper. Jasper merely rolled his eyes before turning to me, his expression serious and focused. "Maybe we should try Emmett's idea and see how long you can hold your breath. That way, we can better plan our options." His voice was firm, and I felt he meant it seriously. "Let's have a breath-holding contest!" Emmett's enthusiasm was infectious, and even though I knew I would lose, I didn't want to dampen his excitement. We sat down next to each other on the sofa while Carlisle settled nearby and organized a stopwatch. In that moment, his scientific side came to the fore, and I couldn't help but admire him.
"You must not distract her, manipulate her, or touch her. Is that clear, Emmett?" Rosalie sounded serious as she looked knowingly at her husband, her eyes sparkling with determination. Emmett pouted for a moment but quickly agreed, and our contest began. Of course, I lost. Unlike a full-fledged vampire, I had to breathe while Emmett floated effortlessly over the time. But Carlisle could still determine that I could hold my breath longer than a human. His expression was convinced as he said, "With some practice, you could improve your time from 15 minutes."
"But 15 minutes should usually be enough for you to remove yourself from a situation where you find it hard to maintain control," Jasper concluded after our experiment. His words echoed in my mind as I pondered what that meant for my future.
In the following days, I tried to adjust to my new life. Carlisle had explained to me that I needed to sharpen my senses and learn to cope with my surroundings. We started taking small trips into nature where I could observe wildlife while also learning to control my instincts. It was a challenge, but I improved with each passing day.
One afternoon, we took a trip into the woods. The sun shone through the trees, casting dancing shadows on the ground. As we walked through the silence of the forest, I felt nature come alive around me. The sounds of the animals and the rustling of the wind were soothing and helped me clear my thoughts.
"Remember that you're not alone," Jasper said as we stopped by a small stream. "It's normal to feel overwhelmed at times. But you are strong, and we are here to help you." His words gave me strength, and I smiled at him gratefully.
As we continued on, I suddenly sensed a familiar smell in the air. My heart raced, and I could perceive the sweet scent of blood. It was the first living human I had encountered since my transformation. The urge to approach was overwhelming, and I felt my body respond to the attraction.
"Stay calm," Jasper whispered as he felt my reaction. "Hold your breath and focus on something else." I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the sounds of the forest. The birds singing in the trees, the bubbling of the water-I let all those sounds flood my mind. After a moment of tension, I opened my eyes again and saw that the human, a hiker, was standing in the distance. He was still admiring nature and had no idea of the danger I posed.
"We should go," Carlisle murmured, and I nodded in agreement. It was a challenge, but I knew I wasn't ready to expose myself to that temptation. We retreated into the thicket of the forest, distancing ourselves from the human. I exhaled, tasting the nature and the fresh wind.
"How do you feel?" Carlisle's voice was gentle, as if he were responding to a frightened animal. "All good. I'm just a bit shaken. I didn't expect to encounter a human," I inhaled the forest air again. "There was an attraction, but I didn't feel it was uncontrollable." Jasper nodded in agreement, "Compared to us, her emotion was barely perceptible." Carlisle listened attentively to Jasper's account. Then he seemed lost in thought.
Several minutes passed in silence, broken only by the sounds of the forest. We were approaching the house when Carlisle spoke again. "We need to test how you react when you're in close proximity to a human. And also how you behave in crowds." I nodded. We had a lot to do before I could return to La Push. Sam hadn't reached out yet, but I was hopeful that I would soon meet the pack and prove that I posed no danger.