thoughts

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you don't exist

when he's in a good company

you hate your mind

of how it always agree,

then feel awful afterwards

you hate how you crave

to things you'll never have

I'm not even surprise

that no one calls you

those who mean the world to you

doesn't even bother to see you

they don't even feel the remorse

of how they treated you

you blame yourself and it's all your fault

when they could give effort

or time, even if it's so short

even if it's sudden

you blame yourself for reasons

when you're just done with everything

he isn't even interested

of all the stories you have to tell

they don't even message you

to ask you how you were

you cut them off but not totally

hoping they would understand

and will not left you out

you're always crying

for just having yourself

you hate loneliness

but wanted to be alone

you're hard on yourself

you don't even eat

and when you do, you feel bad

and wanna puke it all up

you do wanna live

but you're getting tired

for understanding things

you can't even accept

you're slowly killing yourself

as if you don't hate it

you wanna be healthy

so you always feel sorry

do you know what you're doing?

or you just keep make-believing?

is it all what you're hoping?

they don't even answer when you're calling

do you really wanna stop living?

you keep bluffing and

lying like you're dying

he doesn't like you like that

don't even try to disagree

he has a girl because of you

not taking a chance when you get to

just keep hating yourself

that's what you're good at

and you know what they say

hone the things that you

are good at doing

it's all funny!

how the voices in your head

keep on banging the doors

always wanting to be heard

when you're so silent

and so apart from the world.

trying to live is hard

but loving yourself is harder

funny how you keep things on your own

you're so good at lying

they don't even bother to ask how are you

and when they do,

you convince them

and improve your lies

you told yourself

you'd get rid of that feelings

it's been years

you don't even know how to do it

-xysaoirse-